💼 Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

[Falcon Sebben]

Neither is Jack, he's Sicilian.

https://youtube.com/watch?v=6_G7-opxBLQ

Truly one of the best scenes put on film.

But yes. Fatty is 100% a nigger.

 

[Bassomatic]

Jack makes Tammy go out now as he sits in his poop chair because he's too scared to have 3rd worlder door dash for him, despite being Arab.

This new "cooking" video was just depressing. I mean I'm depressed that Jack is still alive.

 

[Bassomatic]

Forgive the double post but, I just had one of those IRL moments where farms fucked me up.

So a good friend is in Baton Rouge and eating on company dime, he's at Solou (www.eatsolou.com) THEY HAVE A SCANFANI SALAD. I was crying laughing and asked my friend if it had "pul pork" and he had no idea what the fuck I was on about. What are the chances?

Apparently it's absolutely amazing food super service (he said the shrimp corn dogs were super). They smoke their home made ketchup, I'm about to book a fucking flight!

 

[SpiceyHuman]

Yeah. Not as noticeable, but sweat glands down there will reflect it.

And it also impacts the smell and taste of squirt and allegedly cum (including pre-cum so it’s not like a cum-dodger can just avoid the nut).

Also, there is always a little pee contact and the asparagus / Brussels sprout smell doesn’t just “wipe” off.

I mean there could be worse tastes and smells, and I’ve faced them. But when you put a lot of care into your genital cleanliness and actually enjoy the smell and taste of your partner, a face full of “oh you had bustle sprouts tonight” is kind of a killjoy. So I just find it considerate to avoid those foods if there is a chance of oral activities.

Spoiler

Then again, not everyone is me. I just saw a pic of Scar eating’s EOR’s starfish the other day, Asparagus sounds like heaven compared to that.

Recipe down below for :

Spoiler

no asparagus/sprouts within 48 hours, shower after dookie always (bidet or baby wipes don’t cut it), shave shaft at minimum, scrub ass cheeks, cleft, thighs, torso with charcoal scrub, wash with unscented moisturizes bar soap and lightly loofa scrub, brand new undies (bacteria survive many washings), or no undies at all, no touching dick after applying deodorant, aftershave, cologne, etc until you’ve washed hands with isopropyl alcohol to not transfer perfumed tastes. No moisturizer creams or whole body deodorants,


Dry off after shower with hair dryer

Don’t be gassy

Don’t fart a lot

. I’m not Jordan peterson

"Squirt" is just urine, so it's no suprise it would be effected by asparagus.

 

[Spasticus Autisticus]

Forgive the double post but, I just had one of those IRL moments where farms fucked me up.

So a good friend is in Baton Rouge and eating on company dime, he's at Solou (www.eatsolou.com) THEY HAVE A SCANFANI SALAD. I was crying laughing and asked my friend if it had "pul pork" and he had no idea what the fuck I was on about. What are the chances?

Apparently it's absolutely amazing food super service (he said the shrimp corn dogs were super). They smoke their home made ketchup, I'm about to book a fucking flight!

"Sclafani" is a somewhat common Italian name. There is a brand of tomatoes called Sclafani. "Scalfani" is probably a transcription error or Anglicization of that name. It's fitting that Jack's name is either a mistake or a bastardization.

 

[Tiresome]

"Sclafani" is a somewhat common Italian name. There is a brand of tomatoes called Sclafani. "Scalfani" is probably a transcription error or Anglicization of that name. It's fitting that Jack's name is either a mistake or a bastardization.

I find it blessedly appropriate that Jack's own grandson's name is, in full, Video Game Reference - Black Name - Typo.

 

[Uber driver reviewer]

Forgive the double post but, I just had one of those IRL moments where farms fucked me up.

So a good friend is in Baton Rouge and eating on company dime, he's at Solou (www.eatsolou.com) THEY HAVE A SCANFANI SALAD. I was crying laughing and asked my friend if it had "pul pork" and he had no idea what the fuck I was on about. What are the chances?

Apparently it's absolutely amazing food super service (he said the shrimp corn dogs were super). They smoke their home made ketchup, I'm about to book a fucking flight!

Please Tell me it comes with two cups of ranch and a bunch of shreddy cheese and chiggum tendies on top, like the ones Tammy eats.

 

[the khat quaffer]

"Sclafani" is a somewhat common Italian name. There is a brand of tomatoes called Sclafani. "Scalfani" is probably a transcription error or Anglicization of that name. It's fitting that Jack's name is either a mistake or a bastardization.

"Any you kids ever had one of my tomaytus?"
"What you mean those Sclafani brand? Wait, you did that?"
"Yeah, that was my family. Then when we came over from the boot, we accidentally changed our name to blend in with the 'Medigans. My great grandfather could neither read or write, so he just winged it from memory and no one questioned it. My great grandfather threw centuries of tradition away. Just to be a semi literate wonderbread wop that lost his virginity at 47. Just a kid. I lost mine at the big five oh. I couldn't shit right for a week.
"Anyways have some tomatoes. They go great with a half gallon of Frank's."

 

[densedance]

Please Tell me it comes with two cups of ranch and a bunch of shreddy cheese and chiggum tendies on top, like the ones Tammy eats.

View attachment 8892256

 

[AnOminous]

4:10 "you could go to walmart and get a dozen cupcakes and their fried chicken and a thing of mac and cheese for under 15, no one needs lemonade"

So why didn't you do that then you stupid fat fuck?

I know asparagus impacts the smell of urine (in a way most people can't smell actually -- it's a genetic ability)

This has to be in the list of most worthless superpowers.

We get a second Jack on the Go this week. He stayed home and made Tammy bring the food back for a change.

"Jack on the Go." (Actually too fat even to leave the house.)

 

[the khat quaffer]

So why didn't you do that then you stupid fat fuck?

Because the tendurrs wouldn't make it to the car, and macaroni n cheese is considered a vegetable in Chez Scalfani. Not carnivore at all!

 

[Falcon Sebben]

So why didn't you do that then you stupid fat fuck?

Can't write it off his taxes if he did that.

 

[Slavic Patronym]

Decided to watch a few random points in the latest F As In Fat Slob. As usual it's Jack and Cousin Jimmy, a grown man who has nothing better to do than bitch with a paraplegic about libtards and woke.

0:45

Jack: Are you vaping anything new?

Jimmy: No. Same thing.

Jack: What flavor?

Jimmy: Sour apple.

Jack: Got it. Got it.

[shudder]

9:30

Someone in chat: Jack, did you see that Trump posted himself as Jesus?

Jack: No, only Democrats say that.

False.

Jack continues: He already explained it, but whether I believe it or not? I have no idea. But you guys are so... you guys got hard-ons on that.

What a crude loser.

Jack continues: That's something Democrats are saying. Democrats.

Say it one more time! Democrats! Democrats!!!

His brain is so fried. Hook him up to an EEG and it'll show he has the neural patterns of an infant born with fetal alcohol syndrome.

Jimmy: I think it was supposed to be a metaphor. A joke.

Cope, etc.

21:10

Someone in chat says Star Wars isn't sci-fi in a clear attempt to troll Jack. They succeed.

Jack: Star Wars isn't sci-fi??? SoupMonster just wrote, "Star Wars isn't sci-fi!" What the frick?! Holy God! Science fiction is nothing but Star Wars! OK, if Star Wars isn't sci-fi, then what is? Because it's in space! It's fiction! It's total sci-fi! It's the definition of sci-fi! It's the number one sci-fi movie of all time!

SoupMonster tells Jack to ask AI and Jack immediately does, pulling up Gemini.

Jack: [to Gemini] Is Star Wars science fiction?

Gemini: beep boop Star Wars is usually considered a mix of science fiction and fantasy, often called "space opera" or "space fantasy." While it has spaceships and futuristic technology, elements like --

Jack: Wait, wait, wait, wait!!! I don't need you to break it down! Is Star Wars a science fiction movie or not?! Yes or no!!!

Gemini: Honestly no, it's more commonly called "space fantasy."

Jimmy: That's funny. Fucking millennials.

Presented without comment.

30:31

Jack: So Artemis made it back. I'm not sure why they went. Do you know why they went?

It's called Wikipedia. The answer is literally in the first sentence of the mission's entry, showing how little interest Jack holds in actually answering any of his "questions." (The main goal was to build a permanent lunar base.) This dying scumbag only feels joy when he feels pointless rage.

Jack continues: Are they doing experiments in space because zero gravity behaves different? Are they like, trying to cure cancer?

Thanks, Google AI:

Based on 2025 reports, the Trump administration implemented policies and proposed budgets aimed at significantly reducing funding for the National Institutes of Health (NIH) and National Cancer Institute (NCI), threatening billions in cancer research. These actions included canceling research grants, freezing funding for universities, and proposing up to 38% cuts to cancer research budgets.​

Jack continues: And here's a question that somebody asks... Who was holding the camera on the spaceship taking a picture of all the astronauts before panning over [to take] a picture of the Earth out the window? Who did that? Oh, a remote control. Oh, oh. OK.

Mocking the correct answer doesn't make it not the correct answer.

For whatever it's worth, Jimmy does try to talk sense into Jack. (He's usually good for one or two sane-ish takes per stream.) But Jack isn't having it. He yells "my butt" something as Jimmy tries to explain the mundanity of a camera panning to a window in an age when even laptop cameras can shift focus.

In Jack's mind, therefore, launching human beings above the firmament into outer space is totally within the realm of reason -- but controlling a camera through remote control, motion activation or pre-programming is impossible.

Jimmy continues: We have machines that can build cars by themselves, Jack.

Jack: No, I don't think there's a camera that can turn away from a human face and shoot out the window and direct itself to take a shot of the Earth.

Jimmy: Leave the camera out of it. Leave the camera out of it. Are there robots that you can remote control?

Jack: Are there ro-- We can't remote control! Not up in space! Our remote controls don't reach that far!

NASA is still communicating with Voyager 1, despite the fact it is 15 billion miles away.

Jimmy is briefly stunned into silence at the heroic gulp of fucktard juice he just heard.

Jimmy: ... So somebody in the spacecraft can't remote control the camera?

 

[Falcon Sebben]

One of the most infuriating things about that fat faggot is his inability to even question that he's wrong. And if somebody even tries to correct him he throws a fit.

I honestly don't know how Hammy can deal with him without wanting to hold a pillow over his face when he sleeps.

 

[Adamska]

One of the most infuriating things about that fat faggot is his inability to even question that he's wrong. And if somebody even tries to correct him he throws a fit.

I honestly don't know how Hammy can deal with him without wanting to hold a pillow over his face when he sleeps.

This is a dude who would try other people's recipes that he thought were bad and then still feel the need to defend it simply because he cooked it. His ego is that easily bruised.

 

[the khat quaffer]

His brain is so fried. Hook him up to an EEG and it'll show he has the neural patterns of an infant born with fetal alcohol syndrome.

You hook up fatty to an EEG*, you'll get some a reading like this:


*ekg but whatever. you need brain activity for an eeg.

"who was holding da camera!!!"

Any scholar of history knows it was Dr. Manhattan.


Yeeah there's a reason I don't watch these F as in Fat streams. I did once and hated life for a bit. it's not that I dislike stupid takes, if they're done well or funny. But a fat who has stomached 5+ strokes through advances in medical science the grace of Gourd saying cameras can't be turned around and made to take a picture with full conviction is just dumb.
There's a way to make these streams work...he just needs things like charisma, some knowledge of a topic instead of that rusted hamster wheel in his head, an editor/moderator to guide things...a voice filter for Jack...an anime boy avatar (paper bag is fine)...better intro...every frickin' thing basically.

It's pretty bad/funny when Jimmy/Chuck have to drop pretense and wrangle jack in.

 

[Tiresome]

You hook up fatty to an EEG*, you'll get some a reading like this:

So THAT'S why he can't help but moo every time he eats something he pretends to like.

 

[Shartavius]

What's offensive about Jack is that you can tell he holds no convictions, whatsoever - He merely pretends to by doubling down on whatever earns him negative attention; and routinely demonstrates willful ignorance of any topic he involves himself in (always in an authoritative capacity he is unable/-willing to qualify). He expects the same benefit of doubt for this behavior he observes toddlers earning when they're given attention for it.

There are billions of people exhibiting those qualities in common with Jack - But the extent to which those otherwise mundane indignities comprise him has led to Jack more or less epitomizing the worst of us. His body is a temple to the poetic endurance of human weakness.

 

[semitooth]

Spoiler: archive: TACO BELL NEW TRIPLE DOUBLE CRUNCHWRAP

 

[Falcon Sebben]

https://youtube.com/watch?v=2hcOh2KeqFU

Spoiler: archive: TACO BELL NEW TRIPLE DOUBLE CRUNCHWRAP

TACO BELL NEW TRIPLE DOUBLE CRUNCHWRAP [2hcOh2KeqFU].webm

The fucking drum machine makes understanding what Fatty is gurgling even more difficult.