🃏 Bossman Austin Curtis Peterson / BossmanJack / AustinGambles / Austin_07 / irondollah - Gambling addict, convicted felon, scammer, and raging manchild that hates his fucking life, FAKE MONEY

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BossmanJack live chat for stream commentary.

When will Bossman get back on the (crack)rocks

  • Less than a month

    Votes: 494 51.9%

  • 1-3 months

    Votes: 136 14.3%

  • 3-6 months

    Votes: 31 3.3%

  • 6-12 months

    Votes: 5 0.5%

  • Type 5 if you don't care about any of that lame drugs shit I'm gonna be clean forever bros

    Votes: 285 30.0%
  • Total voters
    951
  • Poll closed .
He'll be back online gambling by the end of the month.
I don't know how I know, I just know.
It wouldn't shock me if he's back to gamba a couple hours after court.
 
Don't worry guys, Bossman is about to establish new legal theory where, just like it's possible to serve multiple life sentences in one lifetime, you will now be able to receive multiple lifetimes of probation so that you definitely, DEFINITELY don't recommit any crimes this time around.
 
Hennimore said:
Boss is spiritually a nigger.
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The black on his hands isn’t from the crack he smokes or the West Virginia coal mines…. He spent his life in white suburbia suppressing who he really is and it is finally coming to fruition. Spent all of that time chimping in, repressing the true self, now, he’s learned to chimp out.

The shoe collection, the microwaved steaks, the self-imposed section 8 living conditions, using soda as mouthwash, smoking and eating objects from the floor, having a suspended license, not showering for weeks on end, the questionable taste in music, relying on the charity others to sustain yourself and your whims, fucking weed and crack as your drugs of choice…. Calling yourself “boss man”….. The writing has always been on the walls.

He isn’t spiritually a nigger. He just is. He always has been.

When Austin’s stream dies for the fiftieth predictable time, he does get called to his personal Valhalla, the Louisa County Correctional Facility… only to be reborn again. And again. And again.
 
BREAKING!

Bossman has gotten a whip, DMV tomorrow after he beats the case
 

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Looney Troons said:
The black on his hands isn’t from the crack he smokes or the West Virginia coal mines…. He spent his life in white suburbia suppressing who he really is and it is finally coming to fruition. Spent all of that time chimping in, repressing the true self, now, he’s learned to chimp out.

The shoe collection, the microwaved steaks, the self-imposed section 8 living conditions, using soda as mouthwash, smoking and eating objects from the floor, having a suspended license, not showering for weeks on end, the questionable taste in music, relying on the charity others to sustain yourself and your whims, fucking weed and crack as your drugs of choice…. Calling yourself “boss man”….. The writing has always been on the walls.

He isn’t spiritually a nigger. He just is. He always has been.

When Austin’s stream dies for the fiftieth predictable time, he does get called to his personal Valhalla, the Louisa County Correctional Facility… only to be reborn again. And again. And again.
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This is an amazing piece of literary work Troons.
 
If Austin manages to survive the handful of beatings and potential stabbings he'll receive for instinctively telling the 6ft 7" melanated individual who just murdered 3 people that his mom has a tight ass (OOOHHHHHH MRS TYRIQUE!) then prison would be quite a breeze.

While expensive, he'll have access to various drugs and will spend most of the day playing blackjack and gambling ramen packs. Hell, he might even learn poker!

Ironically, the worst punishment the judge could dish out would be to send him back to the crack den where he'll be TORTURED by Nasty Noah until his organs finally give up.
 
Austin's Stake Manager said:
If Austin manages to survive the handful of beatings and potential stabbings he'll receive for instinctively telling the 6ft 7" melanated individual who just murdered 3 people that his mom has a tight ass (OOOHHHHHH MRS TYRIQUE!) then prison would be quite a breeze.

While expensive, he'll have access to various drugs and will spend most of the day playing blackjack and gambling ramen packs. Hell, he might even learn poker!

Ironically, the worst punishment the judge could dish out would be to send him back to the crack den where he'll be TORTURED by Nasty Noah until his organs finally give up.
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He knows better. He's going to be meek as hell,

The only way he get hurts in jail is if he 'pursues' his dream of getting good at poker. Then he is in trouble.
 
Looney Troons said:
When Austin’s stream dies for the fiftieth predictable time, he does get called to his personal Valhalla, the Louisa County Correctional Facility… only to be reborn again. And again. And again.
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I've told you guys over and over that the cycle of samsara is FUCKING RIGGED AND OH FUCK I'M STUCK IN IT TOO I'm going to fuckadewd
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MonsterSteve said:
Most bond conditions for drug offences like he has, (as MANY as he has), say NO Drugs or alcohol while out on bond as well as a bunch of other conditions that we don't know about, so unless this place is just a dirtbag awful type of facility, the Judge or probation officer is almost certainly getting a cup of his nasty piss. Judges DO NOT appreciate being spat at when they allow you to bond out which is a privilege. My guess is the state also has heard from some rats and have had clips sent so they are going to make sure Bossmans little pee pee comes out, just incase the Judge forgets. The one thing he has going for him is these types of laws are different state by state and Virginia may be very lax when it comes to this shit. Most of the Judge shit I watch takes place in Texas.
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First time watching Boss go to court and spit in a judge's face or take a fat shit on his PO's desk? Sure their patience isnt' infinite, but they really don't want to have to deal with him because they know how worthless of a proposition it is.

If following lolcows and lolsuits has taught me anything it's that judges are just normal people. Some are good at their job. Some are bad at it. Some are lazy at it. Some are overzealous. BMJ is not a burden on the state. He's a burden on his parents. A trip to jail and vacation to camp on his parent's dime has been enough to keep the State of Virginia satisfied. Prisoners are expensive to house and it's not like jail is going to cure his addictions.

BMJ's fate isn't going to be decided by a judge or jury. It's being decided by Ratmom and Ratdad. The day they stop paying :optimistic: and put him out on the street to fend for himself is when he'll become someone the system will eventually to deal with. He'll be robbing, stealing, and attacking everyday janes and joes who don't want anything to do with him. The one immutable truth in the justice system is that it will be late, gay, and leave everyone involved unsatisfied. That includes us.
 
When does he have a hearing? I need to mentally prepare in case he goes silent after his court hearing.
 
GibMoneyPls said:
I'm akill my elf if we don't see BMJ fucking blackjack dealers moms' tonight.

Did he use AI to write a prayer for him? Do you think God uses an app to check for AI prayers?
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Maybe he got Jesusislord to write the prayer for him, as he is an expert at using Christian lingo to defend himself from the consequences of his own actions.
 
Featured on Mar 10, 2026 by Null: BossmanJack's court hearing was today. The results are very confusing. He may have an active warrant. He may be out on bond. Who knows?

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14 minutes until court is in session
​
UPDATE: Disposition: CERTIFIED TO GRAND JURY - New Circuit Court Case with Capias (Arrest Warrant) - Explanation by @lol cow supreme
lol cow supreme said:
He likely was taken into custody by the bailiff.
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BUT NEVERMIND ALL THAT DUMB SHIT - UPDATE 2:
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Mark Goldbridge said:
CONTEXT AROUND HIS RELEASE: if you're wondering how he got out, he was given a warrant for his arrest right before the court hearing for an older charge that they waived. The fresh warrant for today was for violating his probation DAY ONE because he's never gone to meet his PO or done any drug testing. This is in a different building than the one he went to today so obviously they didn't instantly see he actually did have a warrant even though he was there in the court room.
This means he will be picked up soon by some rando sheriff and he's going down big time. He's very lucky though
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Update 3 - he has learned he has another warrant

Update 4 - He's in custody​
 
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