A FTM and her feisty father go toe-to-toe about the controversial label of "cisgender," which always leaves OP tongue-tied as dear papa corners her on her inability to articulate her arguments coherently (an issue she blames him for creating in her). I like the part where she says she screamed "I shouldn't have to explain it" - it being her desire to transition - at him; if I've learned anything about arguing with retards, it's that the louder you shriek, the weaker your position tends to be. That's the funny thing about the truth: it need not announce its arrival to exist.
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CW: various ignorant bullshit in regards to trans identity.
So, my dad is the kind of guy that when either my sibling or I tries to tell him any new information that conflicts his own knowledge, he'll debate endlessly as to why we're wrong.
He is adamant that "cis" is a slur and claims I call him that constantly.
Thanks to someone thinking social isolation is a fine way to raise children, I am terrible at explaining things verbally. I have explained this to him yet he will still pick at every wrong word I use, because I struggle to come up with the right words in the moment. I even pointed this behavior out and he justifies it as him being confused. Bullshit! He knows what he's doing.
So me trying to explain what "cis" actually means and convincing him it's not a slur only went slightly better than it did last time, because he didn't technically disregard my gender identity. What he did do was ask, "Why do you wanna identify as a male, anyway?"
No amount of "I don't feel like getting into it right now" was enough to convince him to stop asking. That wasn't even the worst part.
No, the worst part were the questions he started asking when I wouldn't explain.
"You say you identify as a homosexual male, but what's the point of wanting to be a man if you're attracted to men?"
"I just don't understand. You want to be called a male, but you don't act particularly masculine."
My screaming, "So I'm not masculine enough to be a man!?" was ignored in favor of him asking, "Are you just doing it because it's cool?"
No matter how many times I screamed at him, "I shouldn't have to explain it! It shouldn't matter!" he wouldn't fucking stop.
Not only did I not feel like explaining why, but I think deep down I knew, because he likes to debate anything he sees as the truth, any explanation I would have given would have received a "But" in response.
He respects my pronouns, and has given up my hideous fucking dead name, but I really don't think he wants to understand my identity. The questions he was asking leads me to believe that he thinks I've been brainwashed by a "club" that's trying to turn me against him, and wants to try and "talk some sense into me, " so I stop "pretending to be something I'm not" and stop "calling him" a "sissy."
A man seems determined to ruin every holiday for his wife and daughter due to a sudden onset of a TMCC - Transgender Mid-Life Crisis Crashout; because he is a bloated, self-serving tick upon the anemic ankles of everyone around him, he even has the audacity to complain about not getting Valentine's Day candy from
a literal fucking 9-year-old who is clearly struggling to cope with his newfound troonacy. Yes, surely pressuring children to support your degeneracy won't make them resent you until you're on your deathbed and they can guide you quietly into the goodnight with a well-placed pillow on the mouth. For sure!
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I wish it wasn’t so cliche, but I’m feeling really lonely today.
I’m 43 AMAB.
Been married for 10 years and have a 9 yr old daughter. Came out to my wife right after Christmas, and my daughter about 2-3 weeks ago. Started the day like most V-days. Had presents and candy for both of them ready in the morning.
Then my daughter wanted to grab some lunch but the she asked if I would stay home so it would be just “the girls”. Also, should mention I didn’t get anything from either of them. Then later
while eating dinner with my wife we were talking about how my daughter has been handling my coming out. Basically refusing to talk about it. And in the discussion my wife said she understands because she is also trying to process it. I asked her if she wanted to share her feelings and thoughts and she said she wasn’t ready to yet. I was hopeful the night I came out to her because she said she didn’t care because she fell in love with me and not my gender. And there have been little things since then that’s seemed like she was true accepting and supportive of me.
Although she has asked that I wait to start HRT until the end of the year. She said she was worried about the political climate of the country and that she would feel better after the midterm election. But now I’m wondering if really she just isn’t ready for me to transition. Anyway
it hurts and I feel truly alone right now. We are currently all in different rooms right now doing are own thing and I feel like they are a million miles away.
A TiF has a funny idea of what constitutes hatred when she and her girlfriend are clocked by older lesbians as being a lesbian couple themselves, with the more masculine of the pair commenting that OP should embrace being a masculine woman instead of buying into poonerism. Imagine being upset that someone told you that you're beautiful and you should be proud to be who you are! These people do not have real problems.
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so last night i was at a pub with my girlfriend, we live in a very conservative province and i only just moved here a month and a half ago. i’ve been on trips here as well and have never had bad encounters here. sometimes a weird glance, nothing else.
everyone uses the correct pronouns for me and when i say my name there’s never confusion. i pass generally well here.
however,
im often assumed to be younger than i am, and when people know my age sometimes it causes them to connect the dots. i get WEIRD looks when im in pubs or drinking (im almost 19)
anyways,
we’re sitting down having our food and these three women come into the bar. two are holding hands and are obviously together- one even has the classic millennial butch cut, right? i kinda see them and obviously don’t say anything but seeing queer people in public always makes me feel a little better.
they see us and giggle and loudly freak out. they say a few comments and i think it’s a little weird but i brush it off.
i hear something along the lines of, “look babe, it’s us 12 years ago! look at those baby gays!”
i didn’t quite like that, especially in somewhere so public and packed with big older dudes. being called out doesn’t feel good and lowkey makes me feel a little unsafe. my girlfriend looks at me, concerned, and asks if im alright and stuff (she gets heated when people say weird shit to me- we love her)
i brush it off because even though i hated what happened- it wasn’t a huge deal. weird, but whatever.
then my girlfriend informs me that they didn’t say gay, but the D-SLUR. they called us baby d\*kes. that’s so insane.
my gf and i are pretty baffled and laugh about it for a bit- kind of pissed kind of just thinking it’s crazy the first comments i get here are friendly fire. but sure the intentions were ‘good’
anyways,
our waitress is my girlfriends mom, right? she happens to be waiting their table as well.
she goes over there, and the ladies POINT at us while talking to her. then my gfs mom says ‘oh yeah, that’s my daughter and her boyfriend’ right?
she leaves the table and they mutter and point at us a few more times. now the rest of their party is here and it’s a big group.
my gfs mom comes over to our table a little bit later and we tell her the weird things they said to us, and THEN she informs us that when she explained i was her daughters boyfriend- the butch cut lesbian told her i shouldn’t be doing the ‘trans thing’ because my ‘features are too beautiful’ and i should just ‘be who i am and be proud of it’
*are you fucking kidding me.*
now i’m ESPECIALLY pissed and a bit drunk- and i can still laugh about it.
she’s not someone who’s opinions i care about- and so i’m surprisingly not hurt about it. more so just SO shocked im getting those comments from a LESBIAN stranger. i’ve never encountered this before.
my girlfriend was very pissed and wanted to go say something and honestly i regret that neither of us did- but it’s alright.
also,
not to mention this woman was MUCH older than me. stop muttering and pointing at someone freshly adult and saying i’m ‘beautiful’ like dawg leave me alone or at least buy me a drink lmaooo. ugh anyways
does anyone else experience weird shit from other queer people??? i’ve experienced that online for sure- i’m not sure why binary trans men are SO looked down upon- but in person was crazy.
A crossdresser who describes himself as a "black autistic lesbian transmaxxer" can't shake the feeling that, as an incel who decided to take estrogen, he may actually simply
be an incel who decided to take estrogen, especially because
he himself claims that his "special interest" is lesbian sex. Being a black autistic transbian incel has to be a sign you are one of God's forgotten children, because that is a serious amount of Ls to assign to a single person in one lifetime. What's next, he's also a legless cripple with double herpes?
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Hello. I am a 26 year old virgin, 7 months on HRT. Lesbian I guess...
I feel terrible all the time. I've never had anyone show attraction to me in my entire life. With the amount of time I spend thinking about this, I feel like an incel. How could no one have liked me in my entire life? I feel completely undesirable.
I really, REALLY want to try dating, but
I am really confused on how to find someone to date, I've never actually done it before. And honestly, I have no idea what I should be doing. I really need someone to give me courage to put myself out there.
Can anyone help me? Sorry if I worded my post poorly.
Though she supposedly began her transgender journey at the tender age of
8 years old, a "stealth" poon is put in a tailspin when she admits her dirty secret to a friend of hers who responds with little fanfare at the revelation. Because he didn't make a grand show of assuring her that she'd had him fooled the whole time, OP now fears that her fraudulent presentation isn't as flawless as she's convinced herself that it is, and out of shame and anxiety she's letting the relationship die rather than contend with the painful possibility of her passability.
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I’m M21, transitioned at 8 years old, I’ve been on T for 6 years and had top surgery a little over 5 years ago. I have been stealth for high school and college. People always assume I’m a biological male, leading to some awkward moments. I have never had anyone assume I’m trans, or at least not in a very long time.
Recently I told a friend because I trust him and it was relevant. He is the first person I’ve told in college, so I had a lot of anxiety about it.
When I told him he just said “yeah” and the conversation continued. Because he didn’t have a big over the top “woah I didn’t know“ reaction, I immediately got anxious that he could already tell. Now I have the urge always to ask him if he could tell, which I don’t want to do for many reasons. I don’t want to make him uncomfortable, I don't want him to give a fake answer, and I don’t really want to know. But it’s gotten to the point that I’m avoiding him and it’s really upsetting me. Does anyone have any advice?
While enduring the emotional turmoil of his ""period,"" a middle-aged MTF feels nothing but envy as he's forced to watch hours of footage of little girls growing up into women, longing for an experience he is far, far too old to desire at this point in time. While this is probably one of the less creepy contexts in which a TiM has pictures and videos of little girls that he examines in the wee hours of the morn, I can't help but still find it a little spooky nonetheless...
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Hey all,
I run a photo service business. I make digital images and prints all the analog formats, and also transfer all the old video formats into digital. VHS, super-8, etc.
I don't typically "watch", but I skim through each of the videos to cut them into various clips by date, and remove blank space.
As a result, I'm very much a fly on the wall.
I've had orders large enough that occupied enough of my time I know what each of the 3 kids names are and dates of birth. I see them being born. I see their first steps, riding their first bike, first day of school, their soccer games, their band practice, their highschool graduations... *their* marriages, their first kids...
I'm 45, I got on HRT at 43... I didn't really have a "girlhood" at all... other than playing dressup and "house" with my sisters.
I'm sitting here this AM, proccessing this video order of VHS tapes from the 1990's... they had 3 little girls. I feel like crud, my crohn's is acting up...
I think it's my period. My GF is visiting her mom in another state.
Why? Why couldn't that've been me?
FFS... periods suck.
That is all.
The truth scalds this li'l dood like holy water when she realizes that as a FTM, her only real options in life are "hairy woman or scarred circus freak" as even if she pursued all of the medical mutilation available to her she will still be left with "wonky looking scars" and will never enjoy life the way she would had she been born a natal male. Posts like this are extra pathetic to me because when you live in an era like we do with borderline infinite information at the reach of your fingertips, fixating on this kind of shit makes you a deeply boring person. Who fucking cares if you have a pussy? Go learn Esperanto or something.
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most of the time i just try to push my dysphoria to the very back if my head and avoid thinking about it at all. as long as I just continuously distract myself or sleep or get high i won't think about it. i have no good coping skills for it. I'm trying so hard every day to ignore it so I can get through having sex and doctor's appointments and so I can actually get out of bed and not off myself. still, every time I remember that
my chest will always look in some way feminine, even if it's flat it'll have some wonky looking scars and my hips will give it away. I'll never have a penis or be able to top somebody, no matter if I even want to or not I don't have the choice.
i will never be able to experience what men feel, and I'm ridiculous for even trying to transition in the first place. it would have been better if id never started in the first place and just repped or offed myself. pretty much any time I start thinking about this I end up having a panic attack or crying or something, which is why i have to avoid thinking about it as much as possible.
nobody around me really seems to understand it either: my therapist just goes "but you're a man" as if that helps, my girlfriend can't really say anything but "I'm sorry you feel like that", and nobody in any online community I'm in understands either. literally just yesterday i asked if anyone had dysphoria advice, and I got given "do drag king makeup, dye your hair, get a facial piercing." like thanks, real helpful, you're telling the dysphoric guy to wear makeup and do his hair.
i wish i could get MAID- unfortunately it's illegal where I live and I definitely wouldn't qualify. if I was an animal and I suffered as much as I do, it would be more humane to euthanize me. but I'm not an animal so I just have to keep living my life repressing every bit of dysphoria as much as possible to actually get through it. from what I've read on here, there doesn't seem to be much hope.
my only options are hairy woman or scarred circus freak. i can never actually be a man. I'm so tired. i know there's no way of fixing anything, and this is just the curse i have to live with. i know there's nothing I can do.
Upon reconnecting with a friend from his past, a MTF lets her know that he's decided to drink the gender Kool-Aid, but her response is less than affirming as she warns him of a future full of regret and anguish. Unnerved by her Cassandra-like prophecy, OP turns to the hugbox of Reddit to be reassured that she is simply a hateful shitbigot who is trying to stifle his beautiful female soul, but we'll see who has the last laugh once he has his dick ripped off by a surgeon who may or may not be drunk during the operation.
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Here is what they said:
"Oh... This makes me really sad. You do what you think is best for you, but
I think you're going to regret this when you get older. Most people who transition do ... 
"
and then she said "Yeah,
we all have the freedom to make our own decisions, even bad ones. I'm not going to lecture you. You've made your choice. I just hope this doesn't cause you a lot of anguish in the future. "
In another case of tough love, a brother tries to show his nutty little sister the truth of how she appears to other people and now she can't shake the feeling that he might have a point after all. "How can you trust that people really do view you how they say they do?" She asks, racked with paranoia; we should be grateful that superpowers do not exist because nobody would abuse telepathy and mind control more than troons 'n' poons.
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Trying to keep this brief, sorry. I’m 20, live at home while commuting to college.
While in the car with my older brother for a few hours on the way to family ski trip, we talked about a lot of things. I’ve been out of the closet for 5 years, was on T for 2, I pass very well to strangers and friends, but not to my family.
My family is against me being trans. In the conversation,
I mentioned that people treat me as a guy and people in public assume I’m male. He said things like “People who tell you that you’re a man are lying to you because they want to be kind.” And “Acceptance isn’t love, I’m telling you the truth because I love you.”
This has planted a fear in me that anyone who knows I am a trans man doesn’t see me as a real man, and they’re just feeding into my delusions. I do pass, but I’m not hypermasculine, and I’m also not really stealth. I feel a bit sick in my stomach because of that conversation.
I’m curious if anyone has similar worries that plague them and how you deal with combating them. Where you pass, but worry that once people know you’re trans they’ll never really see you as a man.
How you can trust that people really do view you how they say they do?
A TiM prepares to throw away a partnership of 5 years - one that culminated in him immigrating to Canada and becoming a Canadian citizen - all because his submissive, feminine wife can't bring herself to throw him around and fuck him sloppy like a true and honest man would, which is apparently key to his development as a woman. She may grieve his loss now, but when OP inevitably becomes rectally incontinent due to repeated ass-poundings from strangers he met online, Mrs. OP should be grateful she won't be the one fastening diapers over his silicone hip pads.
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Hello MtF Reddit,
I don’t post often, but I could really use some advice right now. Please be gentle with me.
My partner and I are struggling in our relationship, and a big part of it is that I’ve never been with a cis man since beginning my transition, and I feel a strong pull to experience that.
Some background:
I’ve been on HRT for 4 years (yay!). I’m 27F, my wife is 27F. We’ve been together 3 years and married for 2. We were close friends for about 2 years before dating. I’m originally from California and she’s from BC, Canada.
When we first started dating I was just beginning transition. For the first month I was still presenting as my old self, then I came out to her. She was hesitant at first but ultimately supportive and chose to continue the relationship.
For the first year we did long distance, flying back and forth due to immigration restrictions, spending months together at a time. Eventually, the only way we saw to stay together in Canada was marriage and starting the immigration process, so after a year of dating we got married.
At first things were okay, but as my transition progressed (especially after switching to injections), problems started surfacing.
My libido dropped significantly and erections became painful, which caused intimacy issues. Beyond that,
my wife has always leaned very submissive despite identifying as a switch. After knowing her for 6 years, she really isn’t able to take a dominant role in a way that feels natural for either of us.
Because of that, I’ve had to hold the dominant role throughout the relationship. That’s been exhausting for me and increasingly disconnecting as I’ve grown into myself. I kept hoping it would change as my transition progressed, but it hasn’t.
There have also been pressures around fertility in the past,
early in our marriage she hoped I might pause HRT to attempt sperm retrieval so she could get pregnant. She has apologized since, but it still affected me and felt important to mention.
I’ve communicated these struggles to her. The issue isn’t blame, it’s compatibility. She can’t authentically be the partner dynamic I need, and I can’t keep forcing myself into a role that feels wrong for me.
She is my best friend in the world and I love her deeply.
But more and more I feel like I’m sacrificing parts of myself to hold onto the marriage. I want to experience being with men, and she wants a version of me I no longer feel connected to.
I’m also far along in my Canadian immigration process (hopefully finalized within the year), which makes these feelings feel especially awful timing-wise. I feel guilty having doubts at such an important milestone.
We discussed an open relationship or involving another partner, but both ideas were firmly rejected.
I know some of this may come across badly, but I promise these feelings are real and not impulsive. I’m incredibly grateful for everything she’s done for me. My biggest fear is waking up years from now realizing I never allowed myself to live a life that felt authentic.
Do you think a marriage like this can be repaired, or is this an incompatibility that love alone can’t fix? I’d really appreciate any perspective.
I would also like to add that, even though most things I've said here have been negative, there is tons of positive things. She helps me with injections, she has always been there for me (especially for external conflicts in my life) And regardless of everything I fear not having her in my life.
Thank you for reading.
A tranny resents that being transgender is now a trait seen as downright radioactive when it comes to hiring new workers and dreams of the day that such toxic hiring practices are outlawed once more, seemingly ignorant about the reality that even if such discrimination became successfully punishable that people would still find other excuses to avoid them. This one is extra funny because OP's woe-is-me attitude is not received well by more litigious commenters who
insist that he get a lawyer from the ACLU to work on contingency and take on his case, even though
he states outright that he is allegedly Native and living on a reservation and is thus not exactly in a position to take on a messy legal battle with very little standing to base it on.
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Screenshot transcription since images aren't allowed:
Me- Hi Candii, dis Bee Allen. Texting on my husband's phone cuz mine will be off till I'm drawing paychecks and his parents pay for his lol. Just wondering if you'd be willing to put in a good word for me this week or whenever the Subway manager gets around to going thru applications.
Candii- She said she isn't going to hire you because your a he/she.
I'm so tired of TERFs feeling empowered to pull shit like this.
Finally, an update: Norman Bates-in-the-making
jerseybard is back to complain more about how he can't get knocked up like his mom did, which seems to be a serious thorn in his side; in fact, the inability to carry life inside of him is so traumatic that he actually wishes he had died as a child so he wouldn't have had to grow up and realize boys can't get pregnant. Knowing how much he wants to skinwalk his mom, I wonder if she, too, shares such a grave sentiment at times.
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Ever since I was a toddler I've been mourning my missing parts. It's my first conscious memory, actually. I called myself infertile before I had even learned the word "transgender." When I finally heard it for the first time at ten or eleven, I thought: Finally! A word for myself besides infertile!
So here I am now, going through all the motions of transitioning and frankly very lucky from everyone else's point of view.
I'm fairly passing, conventionally attractive, two years on and making steady progress.
But the truth is,
I still wish I had died when I was still a naive little girl who thought she'd grow up to be just like her mom. That was the last time I was whole. Everything that came afterwards is just a shadow to me, and I'd trade fifty years of the life I've been given for five more minutes in peace in the sun with my imaginary baby.
A trade I can't make, of course, so I'll take the fifty years. Wouldn't want to hurt my loved ones, so I try to vent these thoughts mostly in therapy. And even a ghost still has things to do.
All the same, medical transition, as it currently stands, is a failure and a joke to me. I'm so sick of having to pretend otherwise. No matter how pretty it makes my body look, even if the whole outside world accepted me as a woman... I'm still going to advocate for better trans medical research one day. Even if it seems hopeless, even if it backfires and distracts from our daily survival struggles.
Because the truth is,
I'm just the ghost of that little girl inside. It's her and my body against the world sometimes. I refuse to be anything else, even if I could.
And I can't.
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