First thing in the morning, Steph announces that the gorls are getting massages. She says they've never gotten massages before (surprising to me, honestly), so they're really excited. Afterward, they're all totally blissed out, and Steph starts to talk about how the therapist said she has chronic pain in her shoulders and back, which "makes sense because..." before it cuts out. HMMMM lol. Semper Fi to the therapists who worked on them.
Afterwards, it's time for breakfast!! Steph loads up her plate with asparagus, chocolate chip pancakes, eggs, tomatoes, bacon, fruit, hash browns (hey, at least it's colorful?)...while, shockingly, Sarah opts for a light fruit salad. JUST KIDDING (but for a second I was truly shocked)!!!! Ashley clarifies that her sister Sarah already wolfed down all her food, which included pancakes, eggs, bacon, and hash browns. The rest of the gorls are still eating. Yum! Only 5000 more calories to go today!
As always, Katie made a big show of how she's Gluten-Free which means she went up to the counter to order and didn't get anything directly from the buffet, I guess, even though you'd think she'd know what had gluten in it by now and what didn't, though she's a carb-a-holic so of course we know she won't stick to protein and fruit. Heaven forbid. She got waffles, eggs with cheese and bacon, and hash browns (which she adds a dab of butter to, lolfat). There is not a single piece of fruit in sight, nor a piece of asparagus, but don't worry, she'll surely have some in puree'd form later when they binge drink in a few hours!
Right afterwards, the gorls go get breakfast-dessert, aka super sugary lattes (Steph's includes mocha, strawberry, marshmallows and what looks like a cookie....Jesus Christ....which Katie also gets), while Deanna shows off her Valentine's Day outfit of the day. The edible straws are back, much to Steph and Ashley's delight! "I love a straw that's also a snack," Ashley gushes.
Next it's time to break out the swimsuits and enjoy the pool! Sarah thoughtfully brings the gorls some water in paper cups (what happened to their pricey tumblers?)
Katie, whose life revolves around going on vacations, whines "I haven't relaxed in 10 years." Being a perpetual bitch, I actually believe that.
How's the water, you ask? Well, the gorls admit it's a tad warm, and that they feel like dumplings in soup. I'm not sure what they expected on this cruise, but so far, it doesn't look worth the money at all, at least not for single 30-something's, but I digress.
After boiling for a bit in the overly warm water, the gorls begin their day drinking, starting with the Drink of the Day.
There is, I kid you not, a FORTY-FIVE MINUTE WAIT for the water slide, so I guess after baking in the soup-y pool water that you share with dozens of other people, you can then stand in the sun and bake while waiting in line to go down a slide that everyone else is rubbing their butt cheeks on. Sounds fun!
All that sitting around has got the gorls hungry. At lunchtime, Steph loads up her plate again with BBQ chicken, collard greens, potato ssalad mac and cheese and the like (which, to be fair, includes vegetables and lean protein), and was sure to add coleslaw and potato salad from the burger place to "compare." Deanna got chicken fingers and fries after her "pre-lunch ice cream cone." Where do we think we're at calorie-wise so far, Kiwis? Ashley got a burrito and a side of two pieces of brisket, to taste of course, and someone called Robbie (one of the mystery deathfats from the previous episode) said he got "two ice cream cones because I ate earlier."
Then it's time for lunch-dessert! Steph is excited to show off her "first cone of the cruise." Keep in mind this cruise is only three days. Deanna is on her second cone of the cruise, and day. Feeling queasy yet, Kiwis?
More soon!