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- Dec 28, 2014
It's called amuse-bouche when they do that. It's to give you an idea of what you can expect in the main dish and also to tell you you're a major dude to be getting that kind of treatment.
💼 Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental
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- Sep 3, 2014
I had an uncle that used to do this for a snack or quick meal, though he tended to use the oven instead. He'd also add a couple of slices of thin hot-dog coins he pre-sliced to serve as pepperoni replacements for it too. I do something similar, though it's just cheese on toast and do it in the little convection oven we use as a fryer. Can confirm it's better than any pizza Jack has ever cooked.
saralovesjuicyfruit
kiwifarms.net
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- Jan 8, 2019
Anyone else catching the livestream rn? Jack says he prays for the trolls.
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- May 27, 2019
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- Sep 29, 2022
Yeah I know what it's called but most people have no concept of what a "mouth amuser" is. Granted the bride's family was fucking loaded so of course they went all out. Like 300 people there, top shelf alcohol at the open bar and many many courses.
Prays to God that the trolls stop being so mean to him you mean.
- Joined
- May 27, 2019
I'm sure trolls everywhere are relieved to know Jack is praying for their absolution. Ought to help them just like him praying his strokes away, praying his arm to come back, praying his permanently slurred speech to restore itself, praying his parallelogram mouth to unfuck itself...
Fucker had this expression for like 3 seconds while his brain was buffering to form a semi-cogent response.
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- Feb 3, 2021
He also wouldn’t read the name of a superchat donor because they had the word “liberal” in their name.
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- Jan 29, 2025
A part of me mourns the fact it will all die when Jack dies (or so it seems). Perhaps we should do the Earth BioGenome Project but for all Cooking With Jack videos. Catalog by intensity of hubris, incompetence and risk of poisoning or getting sued.
First time my dad visited me after I moved to the city, I took him to the kind of fancy oh la la spot where gentlemen must wear ties and the piano is live. He's no bumpkin but hadn't left my hometown in decades. He told the waiter which amuse-bouche he wanted but pronounced it uh-myooz (English), not uh-mooz (French). For us the waiter delivered four little spoons of stuff instead of two, no upcharge. Small gesture but meaningful.
- Joined
- May 27, 2019
560k+ subs, 30 viewers. That tracks.
Not one person asking Jack to send his best wishes to his friend Nick Gurs in the ICU. Or shoutout Samuel Little, local pastor. Pathetic.
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- Jan 29, 2025
- Joined
- Sep 3, 2014
Now that I have the time to do so, let's proceed to go full Philly Local and hurl invectives at the fat manbaby like he's a Santa Claus impersonator after the Iggles eat shit in the big game.
1. Jack restrains a yawn after the AI intro is done playing. Definitely a good place to be when you're trying to hype people into watching you.
2. Jack may have sat on or damaged his wigger crucifix necklace, since it looks bent based on light reflection. It might be just his horrible lighting, but it just looks fucked up.
2b. Speaking of, holy shit is he red faced and pink. He looks like a cooked ham. He might be pretty close to another stroke with this complexion.
3. Jack says we're doing another supreme pizza, because the last weeping oily monolith was such a hit.
4. Fat Jack is out of breath just saying the words "Philly cheesesteak supreme pizza" before he harshly exhales. If you ever need motivation to get healthier this is up there for that.
4b. Fun trivia fact: Supreme Pizzas got the name because it had all the classic toppings that most pizza chains started with in one pie. That's why it has cheese, sausage, pepperoni, onions, peppers, and olives. If you add more it's called a Fully Dressed Pizza.
5. Jack awkwardly fade-cuts to a separate take mid sentence. I'm actually surprised he even gave enough of a shit to do that.
6. Fat Jack awkwardly and strugglingly tries to algorithm proc by talking about how to make a heart shaped pizza shape for Valentine's Day. In my experience these aren't worth the effort due to being a bitch to cook evenly; it's why we use simple shapes after all.
6b. Jack thinks that you could wow a woman by making her a heart shaped pizza. In all honesty you'd be better served just making anything else. A nice brownie or fudge just off the top of my head ain't hard to do and would wow more.
7. Jack finally lets us "cum in close" to go over the ingredients step by step and he's actually trying which is surprising me.
8. He's using pre-made dough, but I will not complain or get on him for it since that takes the longest for a pizza anyway. Just add a wee bit of olive oil and it's fine.
9. Jack was originally going to buy provolone and mozzarella shreddy cheese, but gloriously the store had a blend of fine wood pulp cheese.
9b. Ignore that you could and I think, to get the meal on point, should use deli provolone for this, which also has the benefit of being more useful outside of this meal. I'm not too bothered with mozzy shreddy cheese, since it doesn't get fucked too badly.
10. And let's see what else he... and fucked. This meal is absolutely fucked right here.
11. Jack chooses, because he's a retard who has a barely functional set of taste buds, a garlic infused olive oil, which you could just do with all the garlic you have at home and would be in the sauce anyway... and some shitty carnivore seasoning that sucks.
11b. Just to note that besides charcoal, which adds nothing of value but color, it has sugar. But don't worry, it's not like Jack is diabetic or- oh yeah he is. And he also pretends sugar bad.
11c. It's also a rub you use for things like steak, not for fucking pizza and sure as fuck not for anything like a Philly Cheesesteak. Hell, not even for an Italian Beef, and they use gravy on it ferchrissakes.
12. My autism aside, back to the ingredients. He shows he's using the wrong cut of beef for any of the sandwich types he claims this is based on. This fucker is using choice beef stir fry for this, which fails all iterations of all hot beef and cheese sandwiches.
12b. It fails the cheesesteak since you thinly shave that shit out of sirloin. It also fails the French Dip and Italian Beef, since both use Roast fucking Beef or other cuts. GG Jack.
13. "lighdamurnr..." ~ Jack's speech clarity and ability ca. 2026
14. Jack is using a skillet to cook the beef, which, hey at least he remembered you can't just shove raw beef into a goddamn pizza. He suggests you can use any fat you wish to cook it, and is garlicmaxxing this dish with the olive oil.
15. Jack justifies to himself and is a bit salty at the comments in this thread mocking his portion sizes. He tries to defend choking his pie in toppings by poorly coping with "I like alodda".
16. Jack then stupidly admits he's using well over four times the amount of beef you'd use on a pizza even if you went heavy on the toppings.
16b. You usually just tend to eyeball it, but on average for larger pies, you usually only use about 4 - 8 ounces of beef or any form of meat. Less is always more in a pie. and besides the dough the big providers of mass are its cheese and sauce.
17. Jack for a brief moment in his life tries to defy the fud gremlin that demand he eats himself to death, before giving in two seconds later.
17b. Also holy fuck those are the largest chunks of pepper I have seen him use in a good long while. Jesus Christ How Horrifying.
17c. At minimum these should've been cut up to two more times, one lengthways, or halved twice over. This is just big horking chunks of this shit.
18. And then he beats the peppers with a lack of giving a shit with what may be entire eigths or sixteenths of an onion bulb. Do ya like chewing on big fucking onion chunks like Wario?
18b. It should be noted you don't actually need to cook these vegetables on a pizza, since you are supposed to fucking cut these up into tiny strips, strings, or cubes.
19. Jack says to sautee the onions and peppers, and they barely start to blonde at all when he's set to hurl the beef into this shitpile. It is genuinely impressive that he fails to understand something you can FUCKING GOOGLE AT ANYTIME this consistently.
19b. It's not even because strokey's confusing the other sandwiches; both the Dip and the Beef are slow cookers. This is novel retardation.
20. Jack copes that he's going to undercook the stir fry beef by reminding you the audience and himself that the pizza oven will fix it. And sure, you don't need to cook it all the way done; hell it's a smart idea to just brown it. But you can still fuck it up.
21. Jack plops what is four times too much beef into this already way too much topping slop pile into the skillet, and crowds it utterly. He then talks about and covers the thing in the charcoal, salt, and sugar garbage that you don't need.
21b. I tend to find that just salt and pepper do fine, especially since this thing called PIZZA SAUCE is where most of your flavors are anyway.
21c. Speaking of, an idea: Italian beef pizza where you lace the sauce with its gravy, or make it gravy based. Might actually work well.
22. I stare with all the curiosity of an architect looking at a DIY house at the dry dough that Jack has made.
22b. Yeah, this thing shouldn't have clear rips; this is why you oil it up and work it in.
23. Jack thinks a 20 second pour of garlic olive oil on top of this will save it. Nope; not unless you work the dough and then flour it, because Jack secretly made the dough bigger apparently.
24. Jack brushes the oil on this thing like you would eggwash bread for that color. Not how that works. In fairness it's not like he can work the dough with one arm.
25. Jack starts by putting a cheese layer on the bottom. While you can do this and some styles actually do this, particularly Philly tomato pies and some iterations of sicilian (sfinciune), you don't have to.
25b. Also it's purely because Jackie wanted more cheese, not because it matches Philly tomato pie. It can make the crust firmer too, but given it's dry there's no need and it in fact probably should just have a sauce layer.
26. It's amusing that when Jack makes a pizza, the first level of toppings hell always almost looks like a good pie, if very slightly overseasoned. His first cheese layer is about right for a pie... if there was sauce on it.
27. It's telling that Jack slammed down three big spoons worth of this garbage he calls "filly cheeztake" and there's still far more to go. Ignore that this alone is too much for this thing to cook right.
28. "I'm puttin' it all on dere" ~ The meat gremlin begging Jack to eat himself to death with a whole bag of shreddy cheese
29. Also since there's no sauce this thing is going to be dry as fuck. Unironically this should've had the stupid gravy he thinks "cheese steaks" have.
30, Also since I didn't mention it, I am actually surprised this fat homo didn't try to cram black olives on this as well as the other supreme toppings. This doesn't save the dish, but it's a surprise.
31. Jack proves he's dumb since he only watches the cheese browning on top, and not the concern that is the dough firming up and charring lightly, which is MUCH MORE IMPORTANT.
32. A fade cut so Jack can eat the remaining beef and onions off camera before he cooks this pile of shit. He states he added even more cheese to this abomination to the cuisines of three different cities.
32b.Also he ate before he'll eat.
33. Jack claims this pizza smells a lot better than last one, even as the final result looks dessicated and like dogs took a shit or two on this. Hey @AnOminous , you know how you said Jack could eat dog shit because it's totally keto and he has no fucking standards? Well this is proof of that.
34. It also still doesn't make sense to me how weirdly scared he is of pizzas having char. The center is a damp pile of squidgy shit, and he's calling it because the sides have a bit of browning.
34b. A piece of brisket or chicken looking like a lump of coal while mooing or clucking in agony is fine, but pizza being a bit black is bad? The hell does that even mean?
35. THE DOUGH IS NOT COOKED. I REPEAT THE DOUGH IN THE CENTER IS NOT COOKED.
35b. PUT ME BACK! PUT ME BACK I'M NOT DONE!
36. It's a bit ambiguous due to the horrific amount of cheese in the center, but at seven minutes and eight seconds, near the tip of the nearest slice, it looks more like glue or slop than dough or cheese.
37. "Everything you love about a Philly cheesesteak on a pizza." ~ The fuckin' gall of this crum bum
38. Jack unironically goes for the one with the most beef on it, and actually says that's why.
39. "Yeaah nice n meaty" ~ Jack acting like a skeevy creep outside of a BBW strip club he got banned from
39b. Also yep, the dough is raw. Not a single sign of browning on the bottom whatsoever. Horrible.
40. The fat faggot decided to go full slow-mo porn shot. I'm not shitting you; he actually decided this was the best approach to this taste test.
41. Took a second or two to power through the raw dough until the wave of garlic and sugar on the beef "saved" this attrocity.
42. "That works!" ~ Jack right as he fade cuts, probably to either choke down or spit out the raw dough abomination he shoved down his throat.
43. Retard wraps it up by saying he tastes the ingredients to lie that he gives a shit about meal flavors and not just eating himself until he fucking pukes.
44. Jack also accidentally does a wanking motion when thinking about the big black meat seasoning he used. It's almost Freudian there.
45. It's telling Jack didn't take a second bite, and how he just liked the steak with all that shit on it.
So yeah, this was pretty shit in its own way. He also needs to stop frauding about making this shit, since he can't even get the other equivalents on points when he gurgles "cheezetake"
1. Jack restrains a yawn after the AI intro is done playing. Definitely a good place to be when you're trying to hype people into watching you.
2. Jack may have sat on or damaged his wigger crucifix necklace, since it looks bent based on light reflection. It might be just his horrible lighting, but it just looks fucked up.
2b. Speaking of, holy shit is he red faced and pink. He looks like a cooked ham. He might be pretty close to another stroke with this complexion.
3. Jack says we're doing another supreme pizza, because the last weeping oily monolith was such a hit.
4. Fat Jack is out of breath just saying the words "Philly cheesesteak supreme pizza" before he harshly exhales. If you ever need motivation to get healthier this is up there for that.
4b. Fun trivia fact: Supreme Pizzas got the name because it had all the classic toppings that most pizza chains started with in one pie. That's why it has cheese, sausage, pepperoni, onions, peppers, and olives. If you add more it's called a Fully Dressed Pizza.
5. Jack awkwardly fade-cuts to a separate take mid sentence. I'm actually surprised he even gave enough of a shit to do that.
6. Fat Jack awkwardly and strugglingly tries to algorithm proc by talking about how to make a heart shaped pizza shape for Valentine's Day. In my experience these aren't worth the effort due to being a bitch to cook evenly; it's why we use simple shapes after all.
6b. Jack thinks that you could wow a woman by making her a heart shaped pizza. In all honesty you'd be better served just making anything else. A nice brownie or fudge just off the top of my head ain't hard to do and would wow more.
7. Jack finally lets us "cum in close" to go over the ingredients step by step and he's actually trying which is surprising me.
8. He's using pre-made dough, but I will not complain or get on him for it since that takes the longest for a pizza anyway. Just add a wee bit of olive oil and it's fine.
9. Jack was originally going to buy provolone and mozzarella shreddy cheese, but gloriously the store had a blend of fine wood pulp cheese.
9b. Ignore that you could and I think, to get the meal on point, should use deli provolone for this, which also has the benefit of being more useful outside of this meal. I'm not too bothered with mozzy shreddy cheese, since it doesn't get fucked too badly.
10. And let's see what else he... and fucked. This meal is absolutely fucked right here.
11. Jack chooses, because he's a retard who has a barely functional set of taste buds, a garlic infused olive oil, which you could just do with all the garlic you have at home and would be in the sauce anyway... and some shitty carnivore seasoning that sucks.
11b. Just to note that besides charcoal, which adds nothing of value but color, it has sugar. But don't worry, it's not like Jack is diabetic or- oh yeah he is. And he also pretends sugar bad.
11c. It's also a rub you use for things like steak, not for fucking pizza and sure as fuck not for anything like a Philly Cheesesteak. Hell, not even for an Italian Beef, and they use gravy on it ferchrissakes.
12. My autism aside, back to the ingredients. He shows he's using the wrong cut of beef for any of the sandwich types he claims this is based on. This fucker is using choice beef stir fry for this, which fails all iterations of all hot beef and cheese sandwiches.
12b. It fails the cheesesteak since you thinly shave that shit out of sirloin. It also fails the French Dip and Italian Beef, since both use Roast fucking Beef or other cuts. GG Jack.
13. "lighdamurnr..." ~ Jack's speech clarity and ability ca. 2026
14. Jack is using a skillet to cook the beef, which, hey at least he remembered you can't just shove raw beef into a goddamn pizza. He suggests you can use any fat you wish to cook it, and is garlicmaxxing this dish with the olive oil.
15. Jack justifies to himself and is a bit salty at the comments in this thread mocking his portion sizes. He tries to defend choking his pie in toppings by poorly coping with "I like alodda".
16. Jack then stupidly admits he's using well over four times the amount of beef you'd use on a pizza even if you went heavy on the toppings.
16b. You usually just tend to eyeball it, but on average for larger pies, you usually only use about 4 - 8 ounces of beef or any form of meat. Less is always more in a pie. and besides the dough the big providers of mass are its cheese and sauce.
17. Jack for a brief moment in his life tries to defy the fud gremlin that demand he eats himself to death, before giving in two seconds later.
17b. Also holy fuck those are the largest chunks of pepper I have seen him use in a good long while. Jesus Christ How Horrifying.
17c. At minimum these should've been cut up to two more times, one lengthways, or halved twice over. This is just big horking chunks of this shit.
18. And then he beats the peppers with a lack of giving a shit with what may be entire eigths or sixteenths of an onion bulb. Do ya like chewing on big fucking onion chunks like Wario?
18b. It should be noted you don't actually need to cook these vegetables on a pizza, since you are supposed to fucking cut these up into tiny strips, strings, or cubes.
19. Jack says to sautee the onions and peppers, and they barely start to blonde at all when he's set to hurl the beef into this shitpile. It is genuinely impressive that he fails to understand something you can FUCKING GOOGLE AT ANYTIME this consistently.
19b. It's not even because strokey's confusing the other sandwiches; both the Dip and the Beef are slow cookers. This is novel retardation.
20. Jack copes that he's going to undercook the stir fry beef by reminding you the audience and himself that the pizza oven will fix it. And sure, you don't need to cook it all the way done; hell it's a smart idea to just brown it. But you can still fuck it up.
21. Jack plops what is four times too much beef into this already way too much topping slop pile into the skillet, and crowds it utterly. He then talks about and covers the thing in the charcoal, salt, and sugar garbage that you don't need.
21b. I tend to find that just salt and pepper do fine, especially since this thing called PIZZA SAUCE is where most of your flavors are anyway.
21c. Speaking of, an idea: Italian beef pizza where you lace the sauce with its gravy, or make it gravy based. Might actually work well.
22. I stare with all the curiosity of an architect looking at a DIY house at the dry dough that Jack has made.
22b. Yeah, this thing shouldn't have clear rips; this is why you oil it up and work it in.
23. Jack thinks a 20 second pour of garlic olive oil on top of this will save it. Nope; not unless you work the dough and then flour it, because Jack secretly made the dough bigger apparently.
24. Jack brushes the oil on this thing like you would eggwash bread for that color. Not how that works. In fairness it's not like he can work the dough with one arm.
25. Jack starts by putting a cheese layer on the bottom. While you can do this and some styles actually do this, particularly Philly tomato pies and some iterations of sicilian (sfinciune), you don't have to.
25b. Also it's purely because Jackie wanted more cheese, not because it matches Philly tomato pie. It can make the crust firmer too, but given it's dry there's no need and it in fact probably should just have a sauce layer.
26. It's amusing that when Jack makes a pizza, the first level of toppings hell always almost looks like a good pie, if very slightly overseasoned. His first cheese layer is about right for a pie... if there was sauce on it.
27. It's telling that Jack slammed down three big spoons worth of this garbage he calls "filly cheeztake" and there's still far more to go. Ignore that this alone is too much for this thing to cook right.
28. "I'm puttin' it all on dere" ~ The meat gremlin begging Jack to eat himself to death with a whole bag of shreddy cheese
29. Also since there's no sauce this thing is going to be dry as fuck. Unironically this should've had the stupid gravy he thinks "cheese steaks" have.
30, Also since I didn't mention it, I am actually surprised this fat homo didn't try to cram black olives on this as well as the other supreme toppings. This doesn't save the dish, but it's a surprise.
31. Jack proves he's dumb since he only watches the cheese browning on top, and not the concern that is the dough firming up and charring lightly, which is MUCH MORE IMPORTANT.
32. A fade cut so Jack can eat the remaining beef and onions off camera before he cooks this pile of shit. He states he added even more cheese to this abomination to the cuisines of three different cities.
32b.
33. Jack claims this pizza smells a lot better than last one, even as the final result looks dessicated and like dogs took a shit or two on this. Hey @AnOminous , you know how you said Jack could eat dog shit because it's totally keto and he has no fucking standards? Well this is proof of that.
34. It also still doesn't make sense to me how weirdly scared he is of pizzas having char. The center is a damp pile of squidgy shit, and he's calling it because the sides have a bit of browning.
34b. A piece of brisket or chicken looking like a lump of coal while mooing or clucking in agony is fine, but pizza being a bit black is bad? The hell does that even mean?
35. THE DOUGH IS NOT COOKED. I REPEAT THE DOUGH IN THE CENTER IS NOT COOKED.
35b. PUT ME BACK! PUT ME BACK I'M NOT DONE!
36. It's a bit ambiguous due to the horrific amount of cheese in the center, but at seven minutes and eight seconds, near the tip of the nearest slice, it looks more like glue or slop than dough or cheese.
37. "Everything you love about a Philly cheesesteak on a pizza." ~ The fuckin' gall of this crum bum
38. Jack unironically goes for the one with the most beef on it, and actually says that's why.
39. "Yeaah nice n meaty" ~ Jack acting like a skeevy creep outside of a BBW strip club he got banned from
39b. Also yep, the dough is raw. Not a single sign of browning on the bottom whatsoever. Horrible.
40. The fat faggot decided to go full slow-mo porn shot. I'm not shitting you; he actually decided this was the best approach to this taste test.
41. Took a second or two to power through the raw dough until the wave of garlic and sugar on the beef "saved" this attrocity.
42. "That works!" ~ Jack right as he fade cuts, probably to either choke down or spit out the raw dough abomination he shoved down his throat.
43. Retard wraps it up by saying he tastes the ingredients to lie that he gives a shit about meal flavors and not just eating himself until he fucking pukes.
44. Jack also accidentally does a wanking motion when thinking about the big black meat seasoning he used. It's almost Freudian there.
45. It's telling Jack didn't take a second bite, and how he just liked the steak with all that shit on it.
So yeah, this was pretty shit in its own way. He also needs to stop frauding about making this shit, since he can't even get the other equivalents on points when he gurgles "cheezetake"
- Joined
- May 27, 2019
I fully expected this video to have an awkward Star Wars transition wipe halfway through, where he "jumps" back in to continue the video but wearing different clothes, an ER hospital band around one wrist, a medicalert necklace discretely tucked beneath his shirt, and overall looking like one of the fish people in The Shadow Over Innsmouth. A very frizzled Tammy, poorly hidden from view, has to hold up the slice for him to eat. Also his pizza will look curiously different from what went into the oven, and there will be a discarded domino's box visible in the background.
Beware the ides of March, Jackie.
densedance
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- May 26, 2021
- Joined
- Dec 28, 2014
Jack would claim a restaurant that served him literal dog shit was the best restaurant of all time if they served him a LOT of dog shit.
- Joined
- Dec 12, 2022
Jack wanted to have legions of fans, but he compromised, and instead has a legion of trolls.
He wanted to bang Tyrone, but he compromised, and instead has a wife so fat he can't see her vag.
He wanted use of more than one limb, but he compromised, and instead got a scooty puff.
Jack wants to spend all his waking hours shoveling 'food' into his hole, and he's done compromising.
- Joined
- Feb 3, 2021
- Joined
- May 20, 2020
- Joined
- May 27, 2019
What kind of stupid peasant superstitions are these.
Everyone knows the way to a woman's heart is through her arteries.
- Joined
- Jun 20, 2024
1 - Irregular cut veggies, didn't sautee them properly
2 - Just ploped a brick of meat on top of them, instead of searing meat first then sauteeing veggies on the juice
3 - That's the stiffiest pizza dough i've ever seen
4 - Meat is gray and unappealing
5 - The usual amazing culinary insights: i can't taste the ingredients that i used!
I rate it 3/10 and would not eat it
- Joined
- Sep 29, 2022
The whole point of the crust for him is a delivery device for the meat and cheese. It could be fucking raw and he'd still say it was "gud" because of the toppings.
Like he's got the manual dexterity or patience to cut the veggies uniformly. He just hacks away at them until they're in pieces and that's as far as he goes.
If he doesn't have the patience to cut his veggies properly he's not going to give it time to relax. The Wendigo Must Feed!