💼 Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

[Munchin' on Some Grindage]

7:35 "Me and tammy, the only white people in the building, there was one black person I saw, and everyone else was hispanic"

He showed that still near the beginning of the video and there were white people in the shot lol.

 

[densedance]

 

[Agamemnon Busmalis]

Wow, another shitty pizza.

He's struggling to breathe the entire time and can barely form words without a gasping mouth breath.

 

[Adamska]

https://youtube.com/watch?v=bzYdBurJoCQ

Jack confuses French Dips and Italian Beefs with Philly style cheese steak all the time, and uses fucking spaghetti sauce for pizza sauce. I don't even have to click this video to know that this is going to be fucking wrong; and that's good since I ain't got time tonight for this shit. It's just going to be the first two but done shittily. I might autopsy this one in detail given this fucktard keeps gurgling about this mid-atlantic dish he still fucks up on.

 

[densedance]

Jack confuses French Dips and Italian Beefs with Philly style cheese steak all the time, and uses fucking spaghetti sauce for pizza sauce. I don't even have to click this video to know that this is going to be fucking wrong; and that's good since I ain't got time tonight for this shit. It's just going to be the first two but done shittily. I might autopsy this one in detail given this fucktard keeps gurgling about this mid-atlantic dish he still fucks up on.

I don't know what the fuck it is but that "hardcore carnivore seezning" makes it look off. Looks like Mr. Chuck e Cheese ashed his cigar over a kids pizza because it was little too zesty.

 

[LaughJoke2.0]

Jack confuses French Dips and Italian Beefs with Philly style cheese steak all the time, and uses fucking spaghetti sauce for pizza sauce. I don't even have to click this video to know that this is going to be fucking wrong; and that's good since I ain't got time tonight for this shit. It's just going to be the first two but done shittily. I might autopsy this one in detail given this fucktard keeps gurgling about this mid-atlantic dish he still fucks up on.

When I was a little kid, I used to toast bread and put a spoonful of Marinara on it and a piece of provolone and set in the microwave for 20 to 30 seconds and eat it as a snack. That sad pizza toast looked and probably tasted better than any of these monstrosities.

 

[Slavic Patronym]

I always forget that once upon a time he was pretty entertaining to watch. ... Like it just feels like watching some guy fuck around in his kitchen, it's kind of comfy, especially in comparison to what his content is like now. I think a huge part of it is that is actually seems like he's having fun in these old videos.

Yes, that was before the light left his eyes.

Jack's journey (to hell) has two eras: BSEC and ASEC: Before Sunday Evening Coffee (which aired in 2015) and After Sunday Evening Coffee.

From 2007 to 2015 -- would that be 8 to 1 BSEC? -- he was basically Arabian Fred Durst. Dumb as absolute fuck, fat as hell, shockingly ugly, most likely speed-running a dumb and avoidable death, appallingly dressed, mentally 11 years old -- but ultimately harmless.

But 1 ASEC onward? After he admitted to trying to murder his defenseless son for something something Muh Wife's Honor? The internet turned on him so fast he never got over it. He still resents it. That was the start of his merciless cross-platform trolling, where no matter what he did, what he said, how he tried, he was reminded he's a horrible person so none of it matters. That's when his real spiritual decline began -- aided by the strokes, of course.

In his mind he's mighty Icarus and literally everyone else is the sun, because how unjust it is that he could taste glory on early YouTube before something so minor as his strangulation of a child became public.

 

[the khat quaffer]

When I was a little kid, I used to toast bread and put a spoonful of Marinara one it and a piece of provolone and set in the microwave for 20 to 30 seconds and eat it as a snack. That sad pizza toast looked and probably tasted better than any of these monstrosities.

I used to put some cheese between slices of buttered wonderbread between two sheets of paper and warm it in the radiator. Called it a Grilly Cheese. Tasted fine.

Jack, will you ever stop using other people's shit for your thumbnails? That is NOT what you made, you fuck. The pizza in the thumbnail looks edible. Yours looks like boiled slop. Might have had to do with that clump of wood cheese you plopped on.
Also he flipped his stupid picture so he's facing right (look at his COCK hat) because he just couldn't be bothered to put the stolen pizza image on the left of the thumbnail.
I like that he teased the audience about how to make heart-shaped pizza (which don't cook the same way as perfect circles, btw) ... then proceeds to work with circle-shaped dough.

0/10. Maybe Jim will let you hold the camera tomorrow night.

 

[Agamemnon Busmalis]

Although considering the age of this video, this was prime salmonella time for Fatty so it isn't like the scalfani family would have noticed getting diarrhea anyway since it would have been the norm.

I wonder how long it has been since a member of the Scalfani household has not had diarrhea.

 

[Guntanator]

 

[the khat quaffer]

b8cccd60-f8aa-4b74-b561-5afdac2a59b0-1_all_35253.mp4

in this moment,
I am diabetic
wheeze

 

[p1138]

I wonder how long it has been since a member of the Scalfani household has not had diarrhea.

Jr has probably mostly gotten away from it since he doesn't live under the same roof anymore.

As for Fatty and Tammy. Tammy at least occasionally eats vegetables. Fatty on the other hand is likely constantly in a precarious balance between constipated due to all of the meat and cheese, and shitting himself due to all of the grease and food poisoning.

 

[Agamemnon Busmalis]

Jr has probably mostly gotten away from it since he doesn't live under the same roof anymore.

Thank God, Atreus Jaison will suffer enough in life due to his name. He doesn't deserve Scalfani-cuisine bowl blasters on top of it.

 

[the khat quaffer]

Thank God, Atreus Jaison will suffer enough in life due to his name. He doesn't deserve Scalfani-cuisine bowl blasters on top of it.

The wigger progeny will grow up to become an aspiring rapper* like his father, start a beef and have a shootout with some heathen niglet in the rough streets of ...Hendersonville. Junya may as well get a head start and stick a TV in his crib playing BET music videos 24/7.

Just kidding I hope the Scalfani spawn break the cycle and make something of themselves. Fuckhead that he is even Jr. doesn't need Jack's considerable weight holding him down.

* polite way of saying unemployed

 

[Agamemnon Busmalis]

Just kidding I hope the Scalfani spawn break the cycle and make something of themselves. Fuckhead that he is even Jr. doesn't need Jack's considerable weight holding him down.

It doesn't seem like Jack Jr. inherited the insufferable hick prick genes from either of them. He honestly seems like an OK guy now that he's abandoned the wigger rap bullshit and is focused on his wife and child.

Strangely enough, given how close his son and his wife are, they never feature in Jack's videos at all anymore. You'd think there would be opportunities for fun content bringing the whole family together for a dinner at a restaurant or cooking something, let Atreus Jaison goof around a bit on that dumb ass slab of wood carved by his butt buddy from the murderchurch...

Instead we get piles of shitty fried Tex-Mex/wings and diarrhea-inducing pizzas as Jack's agonal breathing intensifies.

 

[Hollywood Hulk Hogan]

When I was a little kid, I used to toast bread and put a spoonful of Marinara one it and a piece of provolone and set in the microwave for 20 to 30 seconds and eat it as a snack. That sad pizza toast looked and probably tasted better than any of these monstrosities.

When I was a kid, my older sister and I would make pizza muffins, which was split english muffins + pasta sauce (yes, pasta sauce, we were stupid kids) + mozzarella cheese + pepperoni slices + bell peppers and/or onions if we felt up to the task, and it looked a lot better than the monstrosity that fatty made. Guarantee it tasted better but in hindsight it wasn't that good lol. The english muffins were split, which meant the middle part absorbed the sauce, which didn't really work well; we probably should've toasted them a bit beforehand

 

[the khat quaffer]

It doesn't seem like Jack Jr. inherited the insufferable hick prick genes from either of them. He honestly seems like an OK guy now that he's abandoned the wigger rap bullshit and is focused on his wife and child.

Strangely enough, given how close his son and his wife are, they never feature in Jack's videos at all anymore. You'd think there would be opportunities for fun content bringing the whole family together for a dinner at a restaurant or cooking something, let Atreus Jaison goof around a bit on that dumb ass slab of wood carved by his butt buddy from the murderchurch...

Instead we get piles of shitty fried Tex-Mex/wings and diarrhea-inducing pizzas as Jack's agonal breathing intensifies.

Jr. and Bri showed up with babby in tow a few months ago in a Jackoff the Goat video. Many years ago Jack humiliated Bri and pissed Jr. off at an In n' Out by being a gluttonous, annoying, intrusive, and loud-mouthed fuck. So being Jack basically. I guarantee you they had some words with Jack about this. Junior is clearly not a ride-or-die participant in his father's empire. Smart. Other than that, radio silence from the the two, mostly. Again, smart.

Everyone except Jack seems to know that Jack's media empire is nothing you want to be a part of.

--

Nice Guy Rob has uploaded beans and rice w/ smoked sausage in preparation for Mardi Gras. Some obj shade in the description, no grok-derived en dashes. Slightly improper usage in the Pressure cook and Notes sections, but who cares.

8:13 Good lawd.

Rob: "Some people make use Zatarain's Red Beans and Rice.."
Me: "yeeeah booiiii---"
Rob: "but what kinda mouth breathing inbred simpleton does that instead of making everything from scratch?"



sharts fired

 

[Falcon Sebben]

Let's be realistic here. If Fatty actually used raw shrimp, aside from failing to de-vein it he'd have probably not used enough lime juice and wound up making himself and his family sick in the process.

There's that too. I had some scallop ceviche at a wedding as the waitstaff walked around with appetizers and it was fantastic. Literally only scallops, cilantro and lime juice. Tasted amazing.

Although considering the age of this video, this was prime salmonella time for Fatty so it isn't like the scalfani family would have noticed getting diarrhea anyway since it would have been the norm.

Now Fatty is only pushing rock hard shits when he goes. From one extreme to the other.

When I was a kid, my older sister and I would make pizza muffins, which was split english muffins + pasta sauce (yes, pasta sauce, we were stupid kids) + mozzarella cheese + pepperoni slices + bell peppers and/or onions if we felt up to the task, and it looked a lot better than the monstrosity that fatty made. Guarantee it tasted better but in hindsight it wasn't that good lol. The english muffins were split, which meant the middle part absorbed the sauce, which didn't really work well; we probably should've toasted them a bit beforehand

Just about everybody has done that at some point in time or another using things like sliced French or Italian bread, baguettes, English muffins and so on.

Pizza sauce from a can, pepperoni and whatever else you wanted. It was great but then I was also 10 at the time so...

 

[Agamemnon Busmalis]

Now Fatty is only pushing rock hard shits when he goes. From one extreme to the other.

His Morning Movements look like King Kong's ring finger during a baptism.

 

[ZipDisk]

Jack always ate off juniors plate, like when he inhaled the toaster strudels and got indignant. Or the timeshare when he literally grabbed junior's plate and started eating.

Junior never had a chance. But I mourn what he could have been, not the gym faggot who lusts over young boys while his mutt wife siezes while trying to keep Jack from eating the baby.

I like the joke that if the KKK bought BET, they would change NOTHING.

Busmalis been in the toilet wine again, Junior is an insufferable faggot and has given zero signs of "PULL UP, RETARD! Pull UP, RETARD!"

relying on the recipe book of someone's abuelita.

"Abuelita means Grandmother Jack" "NO IT DOESN'T! NO IT DOESN'T!"
I'd love to see that.