DarksydePhil / TheyCallMeDSP / Phil Burnell: General Discussion #2

  • Want to keep track of this thread?
    Accounts can bookmark posts, watch threads for updates, and jump back to where you stopped reading.
    Create account

Is DSP taking Ozempic/GLP-1 to lose weight?

  • Yes

    Votes: 183 82.4%

  • No

    Votes: 39 17.6%
  • Total voters
    222
  • Poll closed .
I've never seen anyone eat a cookie with a fork before, what the fuck
2026-02-12_052313.webp

Edit: "Snicker doodle, does anyone knows what that's supposed to taste like?"
Words fail me, how can you be so autistic about food yet be this retarded at the same time

Edit 2:
2026-02-12_052939.webp 2026-02-12_052856.webp
 
Last edited:
Phil the Salesman said:
Fat Bitch Kat Co-op: Could have been moderately interesting if she wasn’t an actual retard and turned into a god damn blimp. But nah, disgusting, boring, and too awkward to be good and not awkward enough for legendary cringe content
Click to expand...
Also none of the games he said they would play were actual co-op games. Yakuza 8 Dentdoko Island was him trying to get her to do the game's equivalent of menial labor for him. Then another "co-op" playthrough was supposed to be the David Cage walking sim Beyond Two Souls. At the time there was a popular co-op game called It Takes Two but Phail of course quickly shut that suggestion down.

I'll just repeat my theory from back then but the reason he didn't want to play any game with actual co-op with Khet is because he was afraid of being shown up by her. I remember when he got to Dentdoko he was fucking struggling even to even place a toilet in the game and constantly eyefucking chat to tell him what to do. Meanwhile, when he told Khet to go play that shitty minigame and he started schizoyapping, she already went and started gathering resources and planned how she'd build stuff on the island. Don't get me wrong, it's not like she's some Gaming Goddess but she did reveal that she had the 80 IQ required to comprehend a really simple minigame in Yakuza 8. Also, I remember during the Kang era when he played co-op Chained Together with his gaming soulmate and Sir Triple, despite Sir Triple going out of his way to play poorly it was actually Phail who slowed them down the most :story:
 
Moar Krabs said:
"Which is fine" implying he had a little shit fit about it that's something you hear a kid say when they don't get their way
Click to expand...
You're right! Listening back to it again, the way he said that gave off the air of like, a parent who's trying to hold back their temper about something a misbehaving child did.

Is she actually just out of fucking control? Like she has zero impulse control at all around food, and she wasn't supposed to touch the cookies? At first, you wouldn't think much of it, "sure, he probably said she could try a bite," but knowing Phil, it's very possible she was asked to leave them alone for the video and she just couldn't resist.

I'm starting to wonder if she might be way fatter than she was even last time we saw her.
 
Dear [SANDWICH SHOP OWNER],

The following are a series of incidents, either witnessed by myself or reported to me by other staff, involving our newest employee, Philip Burnell. Although only employed for three days, he is at serious risk of being terminated before completing his probationary period.

2/2/2026:
  1. Phil demanded that other workers tell him how to prepare sandwiches, even though he had been sent adequate training material prior to starting his employment.
  2. In the middle of making a sandwich, Phil abruptly left the kitchen and berated a customer into giving him a tip, saying that they wouldn't get their meal until he saw some more engagement.
  3. When we put Phil on the basic duty of preparing ham and cheese sandwiches, he abruptly switched to making other styles, claiming he was a variety sandwich artist and that it's "what the people wanted."
  4. Phil refused to leave the store at the end of shift in the belief that he was owed $150 for his day's services. We let him take some money from the tip jar to make up the difference.
2/3/2026:
  1. Phil came to his shift with a lesbian-style haircut [photo attached]. This wasn't a violation, it was just really funny and gay.
  2. Despite being carefully shown how to prepare a sandwich the previous day, he feigned (or experienced actual) ignorance about how to prepare them.
  3. After fumbling with a potato masher, Phil claimed it was the store's problem for giving him a masher that couldn't mash properly.
  4. Phil refused to make Italian-style sandwiches because not only is that racist (I thought this guy was Polish?), but he only wants to make sandwiches that are the real deal and not "knock-offs" as he calls them.
  5. When a loyal customer made the same order as before, Phil mocked them for acting on muscle memory. Phil was reminded by the floor manager about the value of repeat business.
  6. Phil again delayed his exit until he made $150. When [EMPLOYEE REDACTED] began closing the store for the night, Phil claimed to have received money from an "anonymous source" and agreed to leave the premises, exactly 1 hour later than scheduled.
2/4/2026:
  1. For the first hour of his shift, Phil ranted to other employees about a clique of imagined food critics and how unaffected he was by their reviews.
  2. Again Phil claimed to not understand how to make sandwiches. When no one offered to teach him, he threatened to quit due to a "lack of support".
  3. When a customer ordered a curried egg sandwich, Phil refused to make it, claiming that curried egg sandwiches aren't purchased enough for his liking and so aren't viable.
  4. When he did finally decide to make sandwiches, it was using an old recipe we haven't used for years. When confronted about this, he complained it was the shop's issue for changing the recipe and there was "nothing he could do."
  5. Due to a high number of tips, Phil made more than $150 and, to his credit, left precisely on time.

It is my opinion that Phil be put on a performance plan, and if this behaviour continues, terminated with no notice.
 
Last edited:
Fridge Raider said:
I'm not an expert but as an outsider listening to him complain about "yep I'm in the corner, nothing I can do!" I keep thinking "Okay, but then why are you in the corner to begin with?". His pattern play is slightly less obvious than it was with Sagah but you can still see he has a few moves to rush in and skip neutral, and if those don't work then he has no clue what to do. Correct me if I'm wrong but a zoning character like Dhalsim I'd assume you'd want to... you know... zone? Use those long moves to poke and keep yourself out of the corner and keep the other person from getting in your face.

I thought it was funny when he said last night that they should make Dollzim better in the corner/up close like yeah that's a great idea. Actually let's just give him a move where if you do it you just win every match, Phil seems to struggle with basic combos so let's just make it his regular punch, just press a button and win. He really has no concept of what a competition even is, he just wants to mash buttons and feel better about himself because he beat someone in a video game. He's such a retard.
Click to expand...
If I want to learn a new character I just look up some high ranked japanese killers gameplay on youtube, copy his best button for neutral, nastiest setups / combos and yes, what to do to get out of the corner. Takes a couple of mins. Surprise, he’s just a retard.
 
Vic Viper T301 said:
Today on the prestream someone asked him if he's going to play the new Yakuza game. Phil's answer was that there is no Yakuza game, since it's a remake of Yakuza 3. Then he said that he can't play it because he's already playing Dragon Quest 7, which is also Japanese.
Do I even need to point out how fucking stupid this response is?
Dragon Quest 7 is also a remake
Click to expand...
If it was just a remake (which did happen a few years ago for graphical stuff) I'd actually say he has a point, but it's a Kiwami release. Which for anyone who isn't a Yakuza weeb, it's basically the same story, but with some extra elements and completely modernized gameplay, and then some extra stuff like new minigames or a subquest line, and other side shenanigans. It might not sound like it, but the gameplay differences alone really give the games a different feeling, especially since 3 was pretty notorious for having some of the roughest gameplay of the series.

Has Phil even ever played original 3 to begin with? For the longest time, it was the hardest main-game one to experience outside of Japan, and I can't remember if he played the actual remake when it came out. I thought it released pretty close to another new Yakuza game and he was playing that instead, but everything Phil tends to blend together

*Quick edit* I searched a few variations of DSP and Yakuza 3 to answer my own question, nothing came up, just parts 1 of Yakuza 4, 7 and the Pirate one, so if those are coming up and not 3, I'm assuming he hasn't played it, so he can't even use the excuse that it'd be too similar to his original playthrough
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top Bottom