💼 Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

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When will Jack drop dead?

  • February-March 2024

    Votes: 6 0.4%

  • April-May 2024

    Votes: 6 0.4%

  • June-July 2024

    Votes: 17 1.1%

  • August-September 2024

    Votes: 34 2.2%

  • October-November 2024

    Votes: 37 2.4%

  • December 2024

    Votes: 44 2.8%

  • Sometime in 2025

    Votes: 258 16.6%

  • Sometime in 2026

    Votes: 252 16.2%

  • Jack lives forever. The Wendigo Must Consoom

    Votes: 902 58.0%
  • Total voters
    1,556
Falcon Sebben said:
Fatty is just one of those constants in life. Him being there makes the world make a little more sense and gives us a wonderful example of what NOT to do.
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Well also, we have a truly wonderful palate-cleanser in Liquid Jack/Rob Milanowski, who stealth-shades, outdoes and out-classes Jack in literally every video he posts, and only doesn't provoke Solid Jack-type jealous rages because Jack can't give a shit about what his "best friend" does.

 
Tiresome said:
Well also, we have a truly wonderful palate-cleanser in Liquid Jack/Rob Milanowski, who stealth-shades, outdoes and out-classes Jack in literally every video he posts, and only doesn't provoke Solid Jack-type jealous rages because Jack can't give a shit about what his "best friend" does.

https://youtube.com/watch?v=ihbj1WjOc_0
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Rob is a treasure as he low-key trolls Fatty to his face.
 
Bruno Powroznik said:
https://youtube.com/watch?v=pSH4px4mQ-A

Sounds like jack shits himself at 4:20

jackshit.mp4
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So a supreme meat combo pizza is a gourmet pizza? "Supreme is the more high end better tasting pizza" yes because more GUD MEET.

He struggles to dump jarred sauce onto a fucking crust. Then puts so much sauce on it that the crust will never cook right.

Shreddy cheese, because that's "gormay". Sounds like he releived himself with that sigh at 3:05.

Says he used AI to "print" him a picture based off of the ingredients.

Tells us about his GOBBAGAWL instead of prosciutto and that nothing is worse than having a bunch of crust... sure if your crust is shitty. Continues stacking more and more bullshit like the people that go to those mod/blaze/pieology places and order so much shit on top it never cooks right. Sausage, pepperoni, GOBBABAWL, pepperoncinis, sun dried tomatoes in oil, olives, italian seezning, drowns it in chili olive oil, MOAR SHREDDY CHEEZE

Ok, this guy ABSOLUTELY shit himself at 4:56

Half melted cheese, claims it melted well. Fucking hell while a vile mess. Still concerned with burning his mouth. Says some shit about dipping a pizza into your salad?
 
Aunt Carol said:
Someone who is good at hip-hop please explain. Occam's Razor is that Jack is stupid and has extreme visual deficits, I guess.
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Jack was just supposed to put records on so people could listen to them. He was too retarded for this job. He got fired for being retarded. This was the only job he ever had.
 
Jack’s organs are so fucked that audibly shitting himself throughout his pizza-desecrating video makes more sense than whatever was actually causing those cement mixer sounds to emanate from within his piñata-like torso full of cancers and bugs.
 
Tiresome said:
Well also, we have a truly wonderful palate-cleanser in Liquid Jack/Rob Milanowski, who stealth-shades, outdoes and out-classes Jack in literally every video he posts, and only doesn't provoke Solid Jack-type jealous rages because Jack can't give a shit about what his "best friend" does.

https://youtube.com/watch?v=ihbj1WjOc_0
Click to expand...


Today is a GOOD day!

Robmob🥰
 
Bruno Powroznik said:
https://youtube.com/watch?v=pSH4px4mQ-A

Sounds like jack shits himself at 4:20

jackshit.mp4
Click to expand...
There's just something fascinating about how he refuses to stop stacking slop after slop after slop onto this poor creation. It's similar to that one Fat on the Go where he went to a Build your own Pizza place. He just put all the toppings on it since he fundamentally does not understand how to pizza gud; all he cares about when it comes to this is making sure he gets all the fud, even if it turns the final product limp and damp.

I still have no clue why he used deli sliced pepperoni on this, since you'd think that the Hormel big bag given that's even more meat. It's not the first time he's done this too. His sausage turds looked dry, burned, and way too large in some spots, so perfect to choke the dysphagic. The ham looked like it still had unchewable strands of fat and fiber, which makes this genuinely horrible if you have anything remotely resembling standard human pattern tastebuds. And the amounts...

Also, he fucked up on the oil to no one's surprise. You're supposed to oil these partially pre-cooked pie crusts and doughs, and instead he poured like a quarter to a third of the whole fucking bottle onto this abomination to seep out of it. Also it had to be chili infused to scare off Tammy... ignoring that there's no way in fuck she'd eat this because of the Arrabiata sauce.

It's as bad as I expected, but the oil was definitely a shocker.
 
p1138 said:
Says he used AI to "print" him a picture based off of the ingredients.
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I believe him. I believe he had it printed at Wommart's photo center and had it framed, sitting on his side of the bed.

Adamska said:
I still have no clue why he used deli sliced pepperoni on this, since you'd think that the Hormel big bag given that's even more meat.
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Because Don Fra Diavolo is keeping it strictly Italian this time. He explicitly said so himself in the vid; I can't find the exac time and the constant stream of liquid shits blowing out his mudflaps is too distracting for me to bother seeking. Little does it matter, everyone knows the Wommart deli is authentic Italian, just like the Great Value cellulose shreddy cheese. Bonus points for not using taco fiesta mix cheese:

Timestamped at 17:15.

Adamska said:
Also, he fucked up on the oil to no one's surprise. You're supposed to oil these partially pre-cooked pie crusts and doughs, and instead he poured like a quarter to a third of the whole fucking bottle onto this abomination to seep out of it. Also it had to be chili infused to scare off Tammy... ignoring that there's no way in fuck she'd eat this because of the Arrabiata sauce.

It's as bad as I expected, but the oil was definitely a shocker.
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Yeeeah that fucking oil. on top of cheese and pepperonis and depression era gabagool. just... ugh.

Fucked up thing is, Jumbotron knows (or at least knew) that the oil goes on the dough first. His ancient CwJ pizza video shows this.


3:00.

9:14 tongue fucking his food again. This should not be necessary for pizza. I mean it's never necessary but pizza has a crust and

9:26 Statte zitta finocchio. Sei fortunata che non t'aggia ammazato.
 
I noticed when he's working with certain ingredients it's like he's heavily salivating thinking about it then does that horrid gurgle swallow. This entire video is an assault on the ears of his organs churning around, and gulping pools of saliva topped off with a horrid pizza.
 
Nigger of God (thanks, autocorrect), you could hear how wet that pizza still was as he was trying to bite and chew it. This video is particularly nauseating when it comes to the sound of absolutely fucking everything. ASMR from hell.
 
What the hell is this nigga even eating

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