DarksydePhil / TheyCallMeDSP / Phil Burnell: General Discussion #2

[BPD Gunt Rider]

The only games dsp enjoyed to some extent are the yakuza but now i dont think he would go through it with low donos .

I wouldn't say Phil enjoys Yakuza. It's the kind of game he likes streaming because he can sit there doing nothing. He's actually slept during streams of it multiple times. It's mostly that he has this strange narc belief that he made Yakuza popular in the West.

 

[David Dent]

 

[San Dimas High School]

If Phil was among the first to do slop commentary like Asmongold or Charlie or Muta, he very well could be a multi-millionaire like them. But, Phil always catches onto trends way too late.

He could be a multimillionaire right now if he didn't ever learn about gacha, rented out or sold his condo in CT, didn't sperg out on statues, never learned about Doordash and put all his money into a few normie ETFs.

Fixing his income wouldn't do it. He'll tell you himself, "I spent all my money because I didn't know when I'd get it again".

 

[PenskeMaterial]

His insane coping about his awful aim and lack of skill in Black Ops 7 is curious to me.

This level of coping and mental gymnastics is usually reserved for fighting games but for whatever reason BO7 has become a really sore spot for him.

He'll resort to running around with a knife just to have an excuse as to why he's doing poorly, lmao.

 

[Digger10]

Phil can't succeed because he has no talent or charisma. He's not likable. He's not funny. He's not skilled. He's not creative. The absolute best he could do is be less of an asshole. That may have been enough to save him early on, but it's not going to be enough now.

 

[Irreedemable Ret. 2]

The absolute best he could do is be less of an asshole. That may have been enough to save him early on, but it's not going to be enough now.

So in order for Phil to survive, he needed to stop being Phil?

 

[PenskeMaterial]

He's not creative.

Any time PPP offered to do something that had the potential to be entertaining he turned it down and offered to do something lame instead.

He pestered Wingo and instead of doing something that people might want to watch, like two lolcows play CoD, or REDSEC or Arc Raiders, he wanted to talk about how they celebrated Thanksgiving growing up.

He could have raised the 5K LTG wanted and hyped it up as a grudge match between two controversial FGC figures.

Nah, just eat slop on stream as a 'reward' and cry about how detractors ruined your lame idea of reviewing men's cologne.

 

[Irreedemable Ret. 2]

Phil can't succeed because he has no talent or charisma. He's not likable. He's not funny. He's not skilled. He's not creative. The absolute best he could do is be less of an asshole. That may have been enough to save him early on, but it's not going to be enough now.

So Phil needed to stop being Phil to succeed?

 

[Digger10]

So Phil needed to stop being Phil to succeed?

Precisely. Phil's long term decline isn't just because he doesn't put in much effort. Even if he tried harder, it wouldn't matter because he lacks the attributes necessary to be a successful entertainer. Some things you either have or you don't.

 

[Iron Hamster]

It was also back in the dial up internet days so even if it was purely for shock humor (it wasnt HES GAY) it still meant he spent a good deal of time torrenting or crawling though altavista for black dongs. Not exactly the straightest of hobbies.

With the context, now think of the amount of time he had to spend downloading and uploading those pics.

Funny lore... one of the reasons he used to get banned from the SRK forums is for posting black dicks. He claims the Cannon bros were trying to silence him or held a grudge, but in reality, they didn't want cock used as a comeback when somebody couldn't win an argument.

Looking at the big picture, it was him being racist.

it was banned and allegedly all those troll names that were donating to Phil were also his

Shirley he refunded all the money those accounts gave right?

Is this the year of the Kingsnake?

King Fake

View attachment 8368811
Says this while generalizing all Phil trolls as racist. Gotta love Phil’s hypocrisy spreading to the dents.

That's a troll. There's absolutely no way you could tell that detractors are lib black people.

I've always seen Phil as a barnacle.

Seeing as he's married to a whale:

 

[Big Brown Schlub]

I don’t think Phil has the facilities to succeed this way. The only thing Phil CAN do is be early at something. He is incapable of being GOOD. Being early won’t hold an audience for long.

Yeah, pretty much the only way Phail would've been successful susessful as a game reviewer is if he started back in 2008 like he started with his let's play slop. Youtube was already saturated with angy reviewers and even if they weren't angy reviewers for some reason everyone only reviewed games from 4th gen consoles or older so if he even went and churned out PS1 game reviews that shit would've been revolutionary at the time and he would've found success but it'd be fleeting just like his let's play khantent's success.

 

[Balr0g]

hey still relatively new to DSP. But can someone explain to my why null almost removed the DSP board. I have an idea but I'd like clarification from here

Never forget Null also appreciated that Phil took a W from the IRS (the granted bankruptcy which cleared 130k in debt

And perhaps (this is my wild theo theory) Null finds a sort of kinship with Phil. I mean if you think about it, Null will probably never be able to hold a real job despite his skills (I mean come on keeping this site running despite everything thrown at him and basically making a crude copy of cloudflare to boot) just because his name is so "tainted" and the same goes for Phil. Phil will never return to the workforce. I bet Phil couldn't even keep a job as server at Mcdonalds (not that I want him to handle the fires or anything else) or whatever else. Though the difference is that Phil is just a lazy sack of shit who thinks he could jump right into a 6 figure salary job and not work his way up while Null's name is forever tied to Kiwifarms despite the fact that the Farms in itself is mostly harmless (beside the autistic library aspect and calling trannies what they really are)

 

[Zyklon C]

Never forget Null also appreciated that Phil took a W from the IRS (the granted bankruptcy which cleared 130k in debt

Which is dented given that the bankruptcy only cleared Phail's consumer debt, not his IRS debt. The gubmint always gets its cut.

The biggest loss to this subforum due to Null's occasional jihads was some of the classic and capable people who chronicled DSP (no knock on the current crew -- I love you all), and who instead fucked off to other more stable pastures. I appreciate Null, but he had a dent-sized hole in his vision when it came to Phail.

I don't blame him entirely. Phail can be a nuanced lolcow for viewers. You take the occasional sperg out in isolation and Phail doesn't seem so bad. You have to surf that wave for a while to truly understand how contemptable he really is.

 

[Ivan Daniloff]

and he can barely [be early], at least these days.

He’s never early. He’s barely on time with AAA slop and sometimes will delay starting those games on their launch days to play Minecraft or whatever. It’s ODD behavior. Small viral games are resisted/ignored for the most part and it takes an act of Asmon to get him to play no-brainers like Megabonk.

That's a troll. There's absolutely no way you could tell that detractors are lib black people.

It seems trollish to me too but it puzzles me that he would give $5 superchats. Dentractors are imponderable sickos.

 

[Burn In Hell Burnell]

His insane coping about his awful aim and lack of skill in Black Ops 7 is curious to me.

This level of coping and mental gymnastics is usually reserved for fighting games but for whatever reason BO7 has become a really sore spot for him.

He'll resort to running around with a knife just to have an excuse as to why he's doing poorly, lmao.

I think it's because he truly believed (again, in true narc fashion) that once he had the best possible experience with a gaming PC, a high refresh rate OLED-QED-LED-WPIG monitor, and pointlessly expensive gaming keyboard/mouse, he would ackshually be professional COD player material. And once his KD barely shifted, and he continued to embarrass himself constantly with his stormtrooper aim, the reality came crashing down.

Just like how he got da Rolls Royce of joysticks and still was getting stomped by low-ranked Master players in SF6 (which are just the equivalent of high Plat-low Diamond SF5 players).

 

[PetiteDragon43]

I really believe DSP knew of Ralph before the Casino. I just have a feeling he was watching the Bloodsport and Killstream livestreams back in the day. Its just too random for him to team not only with PPP but also the kang of the Sektor.

I also want to touch on this latest religious push by Phil. From comparing himself to Christ to thanking God, Himself, to saying he's on the path of the righteous. Is Asmongold known for being a conservative? Thats the only reason I can think of Phil still trying it on with Asmon audience when it didn't work with PPP. It's either that or Flathead B's mindworms seeping into Phil's head.

 

[Cucktry Roads]

Phil's reviews suck. He always gives a book report. He would have fallen off the same way he did in the actual timeline.

 

[marlimar]

I recall that we had a couple of DSP forum mods that got ejected during the last flare-up from Dear Leader, maybe some kind of gay 'cord shit using the Farms for recruitment or tolerating things Dear Leader did not like.

@AgentProper & @Clothesinmycloset were sub-forum mods that created a separate site (as did I) during the great tranny war when KF was down for nearly a month from the clear web, and I don't miss having to use TOR. Josh didn't like the idea of mods using his platform to monetize DSP (Agent Proper has a monetized YouTube channel).

As usual trannys made life harder just because they hate themselves.

 

[Iron Hamster]

Which is dented given that the bankruptcy only cleared Phail's consumer debt, not his IRS debt.

Kind of incorrect. There were tax payments put on the credit cards that got discharged.

 

[SilkyJohnson]

I was hoping a whale would come in and save COD, as it is the only genuinely entertaining streams I've seen out of Phil. The autistic need to excuse 99.9% of deaths he experiences on the game is kino. The cherry on top is him having to pretend he's enjoying the streams and loves playing call of duty during the begging segments, in the hopes his dents will throw some pennies at him.

My personal favorite is when he's cycled through his usual excuses (lag, developers don't know what they're doing, input didn't register, players are cheating, team aren't helping etc) and he has to get creative. Last night he genuinely said for one of the reasons he died was due to it "feeling like another player pushed him". While I have no idea what it means, I do know that to some degree Phil believes it. I really do believe his mind is so fucked that his delusions aren't just lip services, he is convincing himself that he's done nothing wrong and there's nothing he could do.