- Joined
- Nov 10, 2022
It's the only reason he was able to successfully make something resembling brownies, despite his attempts to ruin it with olive oil and cans of condensed milk.
💼 Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental
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It's the only reason he was able to successfully make something resembling brownies, despite his attempts to ruin it with olive oil and cans of condensed milk.
- Joined
- Feb 5, 2023
Didn't expect to feel anything besides disgust and annoyance in this thread, but this post made me sad. RIP goth cowboy.
- Joined
- May 26, 2013
If Hammy told him he could order it and put it on the show, he'd do it in a second, call it the best bargain ever and moo his fat ass off while stuffing the egg roll, too hot and yet still underdone, straight from the deep fryer.
- Joined
- Nov 10, 2022
He would also pretend that it was sent to him for free because he's so famous and well-regarded as an Influencer who can't dress or undress himself.
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- Dec 28, 2014
On Amazon you can get 72 of that exact brand for $113.44.
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- Feb 3, 2021
What kind of traditional jewish food mixes dairy with meat?
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- May 26, 2013
You think MOST of the Jewish folks in this country keep kosher?
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- Feb 3, 2021
No. I just think that "traditional jewish dishes" will resemble Kosher. Like Chinese takeout
Crackhead biltong mixed with stolen coffee creamer and toast will never be jewish
- Joined
- Jan 27, 2014
Funny, I would have thought Jack would have been too low IQ/literally braindead to notice a smoke alarm chirping, if that is indeed the case. It doesn't seem to bother people with a higher level of melanin, in my experience.
There's 2 extra layers of reasoning for him to hate them. Whenever he burns shit in the oven or on the stove, he can't walk over and wave a kitchen towel past it to get it to shut up. He subconsciously knows that even if it went off in the middle of the night because of an actual fire, he'd never be able to roll out of bed, and waddle away to safety.
- Joined
- Sep 3, 2014
I wonder if Jack almost set hot dogs on fire again? He without fail burns the fuck out of them whenever he bothers cooking them.
And if he's whining about the thing chirping due to a lack of battery charge? Then he can congratulate himself for being more like the black people he hates than usual. It's a literal fucking meme and stereotype with some basis.
- Joined
- Sep 29, 2022
Oh he is a selfish asshole but I'm pretty sure he pays lip service to Jesus as often as he can. Guys like Fatty are all for proclaiming their faith but they never live by it. It's all performance art.
Who says they were kosher? I sure didn't.
- Joined
- Dec 28, 2014
Guaranteed. What a total wigger. He doesn't even realize he just admitted to it.
- Joined
- Nov 10, 2022
And totally expected; given he has nothing real to be proud of aside from the sins he’s spent his life perpetrating against food and other people.
- Joined
- Oct 17, 2020
Jack's goals for 2026. I am dubious about him managing any of these.
- Joined
- Apr 14, 2018
>Not die
That's the most bare minimum goal I've seen someone put out there unless his shit eating finally is catching up to him
>Do well thought out content
LMAO
>Stay away from AI slop
Says the guy who regularly makes AI slop and uses AI slop profile pictures
>Help as many people as I can
Maybe in showing how NOT to act
>Be a less negative person
LMAO
- Joined
- Nov 10, 2022
If there's anyone who could fail every one of those New Year's Resolutions on Jan 1st, it's Jack (even if he manages to be revived by an AED). He's the only guy I've ever looked at and just knew he could spontaneously combust and instinctively react to his own immolation by trying to eat his own burnt, raw-below-the-surface flesh before he perishes (while shitting as hard as possible to ensure he has a legacy).
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- Joined
- Jan 29, 2025
Jack has been grieving the state of his life for some time now, and he seems to experience all five stages of grief simultaneously. This is common, it seems, but I've never seen it quite so vividly in anyone except Homer Simpson post-blowfish.
- Denial: Depending on how Jack's feeling on a given day, he'll say nothing is wrong with him at all. Yes, he's five-foot-six at absolute max, and therefore is squarely in the red zone of imminent death on this chart (and any chart), but he'll have you know, mister, he's only had two strokes -- not five -- and he doesn't even care what kind of strokes they were! Why should he be expected to know that, anyway? He's not a doctor!
- Bargaining: Even if there is something wrong with him, he's managing it by avoiding rice, avoiding pasta, avoiding vegetables, "avoiding" sugar, eating a keto meal once every 25 days, and only drinking the soft, beautiful, patriotic water that flows from the golden earth of God's own Tennessee. Besides, the carnivore diet healed him! And he'll be releasing his Nobel Prize-worthy findings on that any day now, just as soon as he gets less busy.
- Anger: He despises everyone and everything. He hopes the homes and lives of millions of people are ruined -- disintegrated into oblivion and fire -- if they happen to think or believe anything he doesn't.
He hates Disney. He hates doctors. He hates unions. He hates pennies. He hates weddings. He hates funerals. He hates women. He hates reading. He hates the sun. He hates the Olympics. He hates remote workers. He hates video games that are too hard. He hates dogs, if his willingness to shoot them (or coax them into an electric fence) is any indication. He hates buying Christmas gifts for others. He hates Saturday Night Live. He hates electric vehicles. He hates learning about history. He hates Yelp. He hates food stamp users who buy anything except for meat and cheese. He hates Bruce Springsteen.
Everything is a conspiracy! Everybody betray him! He fed up with this world! All his beloved government has ever done is fake moon landings, kill Paul Walker, eat hot chip and lie.
- Depression: This article has compiled five signs that a narcissist has become depressed. All of them fit Jack, but perhaps none more so than extreme sensitivity to criticism: "Even gentle, constructive feedback can lead to strong reactions in a depressed narcissist. Criticism often touches a nerve, challenging the image they try so hard to maintain."
- Acceptance: On some level, he knows it's joever. He's already made a pre-recorded video for his grandson to watch years and years from now. In one Google Review, he thanked a doctor for being "brutally honest." Presumably, he owns a mirror. And now, his number one New Year's resolution is simply to "not die." A part of me wants to quote Homer, post-fugu: "Well, we've all gotta go sometime." But Jack's own words are more apt. "If you see blood dripping out of my mouth, then we'll end the show early."