💼 Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

[desudesu]

We are nearing the end of a wild 2025, and unfortunately this fat fuck will live into 2026.

 

[semitooth]

We are nearing the end of a wild 2025, and unfortunately this fat fuck will live into 2026.

going into 2026 without cobes... yet mr scalfani somehow persists

 

[densedance]

The fuck is he using Olive Oil for baking Brownies?

 

[Slavic Patronym]

We are nearing the end of a wild 2025, and unfortunately this fat fuck will live into 2026.

You know how most normal, non-narcissist people hold on through holidays? How, even as they're actively dying, they will summon the strength to have one last good Christmas with the family? One last dinner at the long table, free from want? One last recline in the ol' La-Z-Boy by the fireplace, as the grandkids run around laughing? One last gift exchange?

Jack sucks. He's the kind of person who would die on Christmas if he could. Don't count him among this year's survivors until we are fully past Baby Jesus's birthday.

 

[Tiresome]

Jack sucks. He's the kind of person who would die on Christmas if he could.

Jack is fully on the record as hating Christmas, every aspect of it, except for his own gifts and nothing else.

 

[Uber driver reviewer]

Remember when Jack kept lecturing people on how sugar is poison

That’s because big brain CTO Chuck told him that SHUGAR causes canceraids.

He learned that during his 7 years of research into becoming carnivore,

Pic stolen from twatter

 

[Shartavius]

Jack is fully on the record as hating Christmas, every aspect of it, except for his own gifts and nothing else.

He has, on more than one holiday occasion, boasted of forcing Tammy to begin taking all the decorations down the moment he's opened his last present; with the implication being that, once the fun is over for Jack, no one else is allowed to have any.

If you can think of any positive qualities Eric Cartman might have, understand that Eric Cartman without any positive qualities is Jack Scalfani.

 

[Hollywood Hulk Hogan]

He has, on more than one holiday occasion, boasted of forcing Tammy to begin taking all the decorations down the moment he's opened his last present; with the implication being that, once the fun is over for Jack, no one else is allowed to have any.

If you can think of any positive qualities Eric Cartman might have, understand that Eric Cartman without any positive qualities is Jack Scalfani.

Yeah, Cartman is a shitty person but he at least is pretty intelligent and creative. Can't say the same for fatty

 

[Falcon Sebben]

Was going to say "that was the joke" but wasn't sure how many people besides us have actually had it.

Chipped beef on toast is not that uncommon at least it wasn't back in the day especially if you had Jewish friends.

Jack is fully on the record as hating Christmas, every aspect of it, except for his own gifts and nothing else.

I think he's talking about the commercialization of it because a lot of these far-right Christian types insist that Christmas = Jesus and that's all that should be celebrated. At least that's what Fatty says in public. In private it's all about the food and the gifts he gets. And heaven help anybody who gets better gifts than him.

Yeah, Cartman is a shitty person but he at least is pretty intelligent and creative. Can't say the same for fatty

Creative maybe. Intelligent? Not so much. He thinks he's a lot smarter than he is.

 

[AnOminous]

Jack sucks. He's the kind of person who would die on Christmas if he could. Don't count him among this year's survivors until we are fully past Baby Jesus's birthday.

He would die at Christmas dinner in front of everyone after massively sharting himself and vomiting on the table.

 

[Doctor of Autism]

Passive racism from Jack



Spamming about engagement farming

Spoiler: Jack keeps saying EF as though it means something

Despite having a moral high horse on Engagement farming, he sure loves doing it himself



Educate me but why does someone need 16 egg rolls and where is he finding egg rolls that cost $5.50



Apparently having commercials = being worried



Jack on politics again

 

[Tiresome]

I think he's talking about the commercialization of it because a lot of these far-right Christian types insist that Christmas = Jesus and that's all that should be celebrated. At least that's what Fatty says in public. In private it's all about the food and the gifts he gets. And heaven help anybody who gets better gifts than him.

No, it's common for Jack's faux-devout megachurch ilk to scream "Jesus is the reason for the season!" but Jack has made no bones about the fact he doesn't give a shit about Jesus in Christmas. He's nothing but a selfish asshole.

 

[p1138]

Chipped beef on toast is not that uncommon at least it wasn't back in the day especially if you had Jewish friends.

Can also add white family members from the south, family members in the military between ww2 and vietnam, and maybe a few others. Can't say I've had it in the past 20 years, but it certainly wasn't bad(the beef itself is fucking gross but once it's in the sauce/gravy/whatever it's fine).

He has, on more than one holiday occasion, boasted of forcing Tammy to begin taking all the decorations down the moment he's opened his last present; with the implication being that, once the fun is over for Jack, no one else is allowed to have any.

If you can think of any positive qualities Eric Cartman might have, understand that Eric Cartman without any positive qualities is Jack Scalfani.

The best part about his complaining about other people leaving up lights and decorations, is that it's fucking cold outside, and it isn't like his fat ass could put anything up or take it down either.

As far as Eric Cartman, he's still smarter than Fatty, more athletic than Fatty, healthier than Fatty, etc.

Educate me but why does someone need 16 egg rolls and where is he finding egg rolls that cost $5.50

Of course Fatty would be sitting around watching shit like QVC when Blues Clues isn't on, but he's actually right lol, so fucking stupid.

https://www.qvc.com/catalog/psearch.html?keyword=egg+rolls

If you're not aware, QVC is just another equivalent of the Home Shopping Network. Ordering food online is one thing, but some fucking frozen egg rolls for those prices which you can of course put on a payment plan is pretty fucking stupid.

edit: LOL this listing has a segment from their broadcast

https://www.qvc.com/falkor-fusion-(18)-3oz-eggrolls-%26-18-sweet-sour-sauce.product.M135297.html?sc=SRCH

They're cutting them apart like Fatty used to do playing with his son's food. I imagine Fatty watches this shit as an equivalent of porn and was probably happy until he saw the price.

 

[Hollywood Hulk Hogan]

That's rich coming from fatty, who has not earned a paycheck in 20 years

 

[souschef]

This BROWNIE Hack Blew My Mind
https://youtube.com/watch?v=N8CDdaxAi3Q
Not even going to bother with an archive for this. Yet another snooze-fest. Jack just makes boxed brownie mix using condensed milk as the liquid. They are undercooked but he and Tammy like it that way. Tammy moos GUD and gives it an A grade.

>brownie recipe
>look inside
>boxed brownie mix



Not even chocolate pieces or crushed nuts inside, Jack you cheap fuck

 

[Agamemnon Busmalis]

going into 2026 without cobes... yet mr scalfani somehow persists

Only the good die young.

 

[soulless guarantee]

In private it's all about the food and the gifts he gets. And heaven help anybody who gets better gifts than him.

With a new baby in the family, the first to continue the Scalfani bloodline to a next generation? Jack is going to be seething about how spoilt Atreyus is.

The best part about his complaining about other people leaving up lights and decorations, is that it's fucking cold outside, and it isn't like his fat ass could put anything up or take it down either.

#everybodyneedsatammy

 

[AnOminous]

Can also add white family members from the south, family members in the military between ww2 and vietnam, and maybe a few others. Can't say I've had it in the past 20 years, but it certainly wasn't bad(the beef itself is fucking gross but once it's in the sauce/gravy/whatever it's fine).

Same here. Everyone in my family who was in the military at some point ate it at least occasionally. The meat usually used comes in a jar and you pretty much wouldn't use it for anything else.

 

[EatBeforeYouEat]

Jack's main issue with engagement farming is that he likes to think of himself as a "content creator" and he is nothing more than a worthless cog in the world of content creators. He sees popular accounts post something low effort and get millions of retweets and comments and it eats at him that his own low-energy efforts at engagement farming only get bites from the same 5-6 trolls. Jack is a jealous bitch who can't stand the fact other people are running laps around him in anything. He thrives off of negativity and celebrates misfortune that befalls anything that he dislikes. I remember when he was in that nursing home gleefully posting about Bed Bath and Beyond going under because they sent him too many promotional emails. Looks like Whataburger is his new Target—literally. He used to post every week that Target was about to go under until his brother Jim convinced him that he can expect Target to be around for the rest of his stroked-out life.

 

[soulless guarantee]

Looks like Whataburger is his new Target—literally. He used to post every week that Target was about to go under until his brother Jim convinced him that he can expect Target to be around for the rest of his stroked-out life.

Same for Statbucks. Jack was convinced that because he saw a local branch or two close, that they were in trouble. Probably in his mind he connected it with anti-woke talking points around the staff trying to unionise, getting dick-inversions on the company health plan etc. Jim shot him down by pointing out that the goings-on in Henderson, TN, are not indicative of the state of an international chain. Jack really seems to struggle to have a concept of a world existing outside of his small bubble - a bubble which is echo chambering Facebook boomer news pages