FecalAlgebraTrans Lesbian | HRT 3/19/24 50 points 2 months ago
Exactly how I feel about this topic. I don't really get it and it isn't my business. I wouldn't date a trans man, but I'm sure there are plenty of lesbians that wouldn't date me either because I'm a trans woman. It's all valid, and it doesn't make any of us less of a lesbian.
Ender_Dragneel 21 points 2 months ago
I am a transfem lesbian. I don't fully understand the usage of the lesbian label for transmasc folks, and I know the lesbian label is supposed to mean something. But nonbinary lesbians exist, so who am I to dictate where someone else draws the line for themself? I'm confused, but I'm allowed to be confused; like this guy said, it doesn't personally affect me.
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[–]RevolutionaryCap5744 6 points 2 months ago
I’ve heard people define lesbianism as closer to “people who aren’t men who are attracted to non-men” which seems closer to a definition that would include non-binary people and any trans men who feel somewhat fluid or complicated in their gender identity. At the end of the day, isn’t being queer about being accepting and inclusive since we are excluded by so many people? We don’t need to have rigid labels within our own spaces; let trans and non-binary people identify how they want.
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[–]Dizzy_Substance_2480 5 points 2 months ago
All words are made up and language is in a constant state of change and development to keep up with new discoveries and ideas. This has been the case since forever.
[–]OwlMiserable8090 5 points 2 months ago
They told you the meaning of the word, just because you don’t like it doesn’t mean it suddenly “doesn’t have meaning” lmao
[–][deleted] -1 points 2 months ago
The meaning of lesbianism is women attracted to women. If you aren’t a woman then you can’t be a lesbian.
[–]OwlMiserable8090 3 points 2 months ago
You’re allowed to have a different definition dawg. But just because you’re using a different definition doesn’t mean any new ones which accommodate the ways the word is actually being used indicate that words suddenly lack meaning. Language is a fluid thing, especially as it refers to identity, which is an ever evolving understanding of the human condition. It’s messy and intangible. You can keep trying to put gender and sexual identity in boxes, but all you’re gonna do is make yourself frustrated. Culture changes. People change. Rigid definitions help no one
[–][deleted] 0 points 2 months ago
Sure thing. I can still maintain the definition of lesbian is women who are attracted to women, much like others can maintain it has a different meaning.
[–]Sezoxeufu[

] 3 points 2 months ago
There are some non-binary people who still identify as a woman in some way, either by being gender fluid or things like demi-girl (partially woman partially agender) and stuff like that. Language is an imperfect thing.
]JamozMyNamoz 3 points 2 months ago
The more (not completely) accurate definition would be non-men loving non-men, which includes non-binary people if they feel their attraction to women is similar to how women would feel it, or sapphic in some way (me for instance, although I prefer bi/pan).
I don't fully get why transmascs or trans men may use the label, but my best guess would be they feel gay towards women rather than straight, probably influenced by their experience with gender. But I'm not transmasc so I do not speak for them, and I don't really need to, because unless a label is appropriating or harming someone in some way, there's no reason to gatekeep.
[–][deleted] -2 points 2 months ago
Lesbianism is women who are attracted to women.
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[–]JamozMyNamoz 3 points 2 months ago
I just told you why that isn't a true statement. I don't think this sub is for you considering most of us here are connected to being lesbian in a way that isn't strictly WLW
[–][deleted] 0 points 2 months ago
I thought you didn’t like gatekeeping?
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[–]JamozMyNamoz 3 points 2 months ago
I don't, you are more than welcome here if you can be respectful of other's identities when they aren't harming or appropriating anyone, but otherwise the tolerance paradox holds true
[–][deleted] -2 points 2 months ago
Who gets to decide what is harm? There is heaps of lesbians who don’t want the term to be used for anything outside of women being attracted to women
[–]Ender_Dragneel 5 points 2 months ago
And there are tons of TERFs who think trans women can't be lesbians. Does that mean we should listen to them?
You're trying to ascribe a binary to something which fundamentally isn't binary - an absolutist definition where there are no absolutes. It'd be like saying I'm not allowed to call myself a woman just because I fluctuate between feminine areas of the gender spectrum.
[–][deleted] -2 points 2 months ago
Yes we should listen to women, even if you don’t like what they are saying. Ignoring women’s voices is called misogyny.
[–][deleted] -2 points 2 months ago
Your trying to imply that having rigid definitions of things is bigoted
[–]JamozMyNamoz 3 points 2 months ago
When they purposefully exclude others that aren't harming anyone, yes, that is bigoted.
attledogCross 4 points 2 months ago
I'm trans masc not a trans man but I get it I think?
Like, the experiance of being a trans masc person Wether binary trans man or not is inharently different to the experiance of being a cis man and part of that experiance for some portion of us, myself included, involved at some point in time identifying as a lesbian before having our eggs crack. Lesbian relationships have a whole other vibe, and that vibe dosnt nessiserily have to change into the vibe of being straight just because we've discovered more of ourselves, and some of us are attached to the lable that we've lived for so long. shrug I don't think it's that deep really.
I'm not straight now. I'm just not. Any relationship I'm in is gonna be inharently a little queer. Man, woman or another enbie, it wouldent matter. The relationship isn't going to be straight because that implies a certain level of conformation to the binary I'm just not interested in. I dunno what I call myself right now, other then ace, but I doubt I'm ever gonna be like "lol I'm straight now" when I have legit never had that experiance before in my life lol
[–]3nderslime 3 points 2 months ago
« Can trans men be lesbians? » I don’t know, do I look like the gender police to you?
[–]LilithScarlet 4 points 2 months ago
To me it sounds weird, like you're misgendering yourself, but like they said call yourself what you want. I've also seen a lot of trans men lament about the losing their connection to the lesbian community after transitioning, so I get still wanting to keep that identity. You should do whatever makes you feel most comfortable and what expresses you the best. And we should never hate people for expressing their true self.