Phil Phaces Phinancial Phears - In which our protagonist seems to have a consistent thought on his mind.

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Yeah, there is more going on than just "Phil wasted his tardbux on tattoos and cheese wedges", he probably broke several rules the apartment complex had in place and is now scrambling for funds to pay for damages.

The best part is, this incident has left a black mark on his apartment record which will probably disbar him from getting a place like this again (or at least anytime soon). More likely, just like we found out that he wasn't homeless during the time he claimed he was, Phil will go in a "delete everything" mode to try to delete evidence that he had an apartment and will attempt to rewrite history by saying he was "houseless" all this time.
 
Is this the first time the landlord has inspected the place since Phil moved in? Here, landlords can do inspections up to 4 times each year and they tend to do 2 fairly close together (a month or 6 weeks apart) when you first move in.

And yeah, it's a one bedroom apartment so it should be possible to get it fit for viewing in 3 days no matter how horrendous it is.
 
Is this the first time the landlord has inspected the place since Phil moved in? Here, landlords can do inspections up to 4 times each year and they tend to do 2 fairly close together (a month or 6 weeks apart) when you first move in.

And yeah, it's a one bedroom apartment so it should be possible to get it fit for viewing in 3 days no matter how horrendous it is.

This is the 2nd the first was 2 nearly 3 months ago, he failed that one but it was something he couldn't explain away publicly and he had no idea it was coming up until the last minute.
 
Could this be a culmination of being dirty, having an extra person living there(torren), being late on the rent, and being a general nuisance? He's also in desperation mode because I've asked philly and portland people a few years ago, and they told me that Phil has literally burned all of the bridges in the whole charity scene for LGBTQ people. Like he would join "youth groups" as a 28 year old man, and they weren't pleased with him. I guess the safety net is crashing of the LGBTQ charity scene and asspatters. This is probably the closest I've seen Phil hit rock bottom.
 
Could this be a culmination of being dirty, having an extra person living there(torren), being late on the rent, and being a general nuisance? He's also in desperation mode because I've asked philly and portland people a few years ago, and they told me that Phil has literally burned all of the bridges in the whole charity scene for LGBTQ people. Like he would join "youth groups" as a 28 year old man, and they weren't pleased with him. I guess the safety net is crashing of the LGBTQ charity scene and asspatters. This is probably the closest I've seen Phil hit rock bottom.
Phil lives on the rock bottom this is a meteor smashing him into the crust.
 
It's almost a shame that he may lose his housi--pfffthahahaha no it's hilarious.
 
I hope he ends up trying to sneak in to Canada and getting roughed up by a mountie

Then there'll be two Phil Phestivals... Daddy Rape Day and Mountie Rape D'eh.

(Sorry.)

Anyhow. The landlord class has its knives out for anyone not cis and white. Really? Most landlords I know don't give a shit whether you're a FUCKING WHITE MALE or a one-legged black lesbian transdwarf fictionkin so long as you pay the rent and don't wreck the place. Maybe if he hadn't spent his entire tugboat on bicycle shit and maps and stupid fucking pretend weapons he might not have to constantly e-beg to get by.

Ugh.

Is it wrong that I'm kinda looking forward to Houselessness Saga II?
 
Anyhow. The landlord class has its knives out for anyone not cis and white. Really? Most landlords I know don't give a shit whether you're a FUCKING WHITE MALE or a one-legged black lesbian transdwarf fictionkin so long as you pay the rent and don't wreck the place. Maybe if he hadn't spent his entire tugboat on bicycle shit and maps and stupid fucking pretend weapons he might not have to constantly e-beg to get by.
Not being a complete asshole also helps keep you housed. I've seen people end up on the streets just for being a complete jerkass towards their neighbors. Also the tenants that think they can play their oppression cards have always been the worst.
 
Not being a complete asshole also helps keep you housed. I've seen people end up on the streets just for being a complete jerkass towards their neighbors. Also the tenants that think they can play their oppression cards have always been the worst.

Yep. I had the misfortune to represent in 2013 a mad woman who was up for eviction because she couldn't stop screaming about how all her neighbours were child molesters and sex offenders and all plotting against her because she was Maghrébine (Algerian French) and they were all Islamophobes REEEEEE. That really went down well in Bow County Court. In the immortal words of the judge, "Either [road] is a hotbed of brutality and depravity or the Defendant is lying."

It didn't work, but she said she was going to call down the wrath of the UN Human Rights Commission on everyone, myself included, because we were all plotting against her.

Somewhere in Portland there is a legal aid lawyer whose lot in life will soon be to represent Phil in Court over his impending eviction. I want to meet that person and help them drown their sorrows after the case.
 
At least Chris can ebeg without threatening to kill himself. :lol:

Also I can't help but imagining him strapping his bike to his back and walking cross country with increasingly outlandish reasons why he can't just ride it instead.
 
I hope this is the final push needed to cause a good old fashioned domestic fight between LandPhil and Slingblade.
 
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