The Sacrifices by Alexander Kattke - The Official @BrunoMattei Grieving Thread

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I almost wish he was still around, knowing his manic behavior. I want to debate Strait-Jacket and Joan Crawford's B-list movies with him. See how much it'd take for him to lose his collective shit again.
 
Lip Glossary said:
Yeah but the point I'm trying to make is that the piss should never have a week to ferment.
I mean Jesus Christ fella, we're not making prison wine here. Empty that shit out day of. Or just use the potty like a big boy.
If you get to the point where you're so pathetic that you won't get up to piss in the toilet you might as well just call it a day and buy adult diapers.
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Some people are just fucking batshit like that. Gross story inbound:

I once discussed horrible exes with some of my female colleagues, and boy did I get an ear full. One lady had an abusive ex who also happened to be a hypochondriac (lovely). She said that one day he got the idea in his head that he had diabetes, so he started measuring his piss in styrofoam cups and dumping it down the sink. Eventually he moved on from the diabetic nonsense, but she couldn't get him to stop pissing in cups despite the toilet being literally right there. Eventually the piss ate away the lining of the drain and started to rust and stain the bowl. She said the entire bedroom stank of piss because he never changed the cup...so it grew piss mold. Apparently the need to piss in a styrofoam cup was more important than his relationship and she walked after years of dealing with this insane man. I'd like to believe this is an uncommon phenomenon, but my life experience says otherwise.
 
Epic Fail Man said:
You must have a real small cock to piss in a bottle. What is the method for bottle pissing? Do they stick their penis in or try and aim right over it? I feel like my natural habits and internal mechanics would prevent me from doing something so unorthodox and degenerate such as pissing in a bottle even I'd try. I'm a nervous pee'r.
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I haven't done this in 20 years but I was an expert in college (where it was a socially acceptable public activity because everybody was extremely drunk almost constantly and it'd be rude to cut short a conversation).
See, you make a seal with your dick head against the lip of the bottle; this prevents spills. However, air pressure will also rapidly build up inside when you do this, so you apply a little pressure with a finger on the hand holding it to vent the air. Until the very end, where you allow the pressure to build up again right as you finish, so your cock dramatically bursts off with a loud satisfying pop and windmills back into your boxers. That's a little flourish for pros though, work up to it.
 
NickDigger said:
You asked a question that can be figured out if you're A: a dude who knows how we piss because of how to use the genitals we're born with or B. a woman who's never, in her life, seen a actual dick.

Which is it.
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I don't know why you're so riled up about getting "pissing in the bottle" wrong.
 
Epic Fail Man said:
I don't know why you're so riled up about getting "pissing in the bottle" wrong.
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I think it's funny you asked a question that kind of says more about you than it does about someone who's had to be pee in a bottle, be it a NEET too lazy to use the bathroom or a dude who's been in the unfortunate position of being on a long road trip without a usable bathroom for miles.
 
Colonel Gaddafi said:
Some people are just fucking batshit like that. Gross story inbound:

I once discussed horrible exes with some of my female colleagues, and boy did I get an ear full. One lady had an abusive ex who also happened to be a hypochondriac (lovely). She said that one day he got the idea in his head that he had diabetes, so he started measuring his piss in styrofoam cups and dumping it down the sink. Eventually he moved on from the diabetic nonsense, but she couldn't get him to stop pissing in cups despite the toilet being literally right there. Eventually the piss ate away the lining of the drain and started to rust and stain the bowl. She said the entire bedroom stank of piss because he never changed the cup...so it grew piss mold. Apparently the need to piss in a styrofoam cup was more important than his relationship and she walked after years of dealing with this insane man. I'd like to believe this is an uncommon phenomenon, but my life experience says otherwise.
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I literally didn't even know piss could grow mold. I guess I should consider myself lucky that I've never been in that kind of situation.
Gimmick Account said:
I haven't done this in 20 years but I was an expert in college (where it was a socially acceptable public activity because everybody was extremely drunk almost constantly and it'd be rude to cut short a conversation).
See, you make a seal with your dick head against the lip of the bottle; this prevents spills. However, air pressure will also rapidly build up inside when you do this, so you apply a little pressure with a finger on the hand holding it to vent the air. Until the very end, where you allow the pressure to build up again right as you finish, so your cock dramatically bursts off with a loud satisfying pop and windmills back into your boxers. That's a little flourish for pros though, work up to it.
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Yeah it's a little bit harder for me because I'm circumcised so I'm not able to... I guess dock with the bottle. That's what I imagine uncircumcised people do when they pee in bottles anyway. I'm not sure, I'm literally imagining how uncircumcised people pee into bottles for the first time right now.
But yeah you just have to get really good at being able to Goldilocks that shit. You have to place your pee hole juuuuuust right.
After that it's just a matter of pee momentum.
 
Lip Glossary said:
Yeah it's a little bit harder for me because I'm circumcised so I'm not able to... I guess dock with the bottle. That's what I imagine uncircumcised people do when they pee in bottles anyway. I'm not sure, I'm literally imagining how uncircumcised people pee into bottles for the first time right now.
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Have you ever seen an uncircumcised penis? The foreskin doesn't go all the way to the tip unless there's something wrong. You'd have to hold it there while peeing, which would be pointless.
 
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Shakira Flabbergasted said:
Have you ever seen an uncircumcised penis? The foreskin doesn't go all the way to the dick tip.
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See now I want to call you out because I've known a lot of uncircumcised people who's foreskin went all the way past the head, but now I feel like you're just going to make fun of me for being around so many uncircumcised penises.
Thanks for putting me in a lose-lose.
 
Lip Glossary said:
Yeah it's a little bit harder for me because I'm circumcised so I'm not able to... I guess dock with the bottle.
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Oh shit no, you just use your head meat to form the seal.
Never sheathe the bottle with your foreskin, best case scenario it'll balloon up and you'll lose the fingertip grip you need to finesse the venting maneuver.
 
Lip Glossary said:
See now I want to call you out because I've known a lot of uncircumcised people who's foreskin went all the way past the head, but now I feel like you're just going to make fun of me for being around so many uncircumcised penises.
Thanks for putting me in a lose-lose.
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That's called phimosis and they need to see a doctor. It's not supposed to do that.
 
Relinquish said:
It may sound kind of weird, but with all of these posts in the thread reminiscing about their experiences with Bruno makes me wonder what kind of impression I left for the people here
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I've been wondering how much people would be willing to overlook the piss bottles if he left a "dear hearts and gentle people" note instead of a rape factory manifesto.
Lip Glossary said:
See now I want to call you out because I've known a lot of uncircumcised people who's foreskin went all the way past the head, but now I feel like you're just going to make fun of me for being around so many uncircumcised penises.
Thanks for putting me in a lose-lose.
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The foreskin can go up past the head, but it's only attached further down. The uncircumcised simply pull it back and piss in a bottle like a circumcised man would.
 
Gimmick Account said:
Do not recycle your pee bottles. You're not going to pee more than the exact amount of Mango Pepsi
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Froggy Fresh Sextape said:
I don't have any piss bottles
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Lip Glossary said:
piss should never have a week to ferment.
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Gimmick Account said:
I don't know who would pay $10 a pop for soggy balls.
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Epic Fail Man said:
I'm a nervous pee'r.
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AnOminous said:
From a Scots tongue faggot poet, Robert Burns.
"O wad some Pow'r the giftie gie us
To see oursels as ithers see us!"
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This is why I can't quit this place.
In a discussion of some deviant retard Farmer and his bathroom habits, @AnOminous quotes Rabbie Burns.
KF brings me great joy and I don't know whether to be proud or seek help.
 
It's all about the ethics of pissing in bottles.

(Also why do so many people have intense opinions about this? It's literally just pissing in bottles.)
 
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