Are you lost needing femoid advice post here - For the poor bastard's who dare or are just curious

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Thanks for the insight frens !
Shakira Flabbergasted said:
If he didn't fix it and continued to gain weight, I'd probably have needed to initiate a difficult conversation about how I'm not attracted to him anymore and he needs to do something about it ASAP.
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Recently my girlfriend has initiated said difficult conversation. It wasn't as bad as I thought it would be; we both agree on the current situation and what needs to be done, even if it takes a long time to change my weight. Since we both understand each other, I think that we both handled it well and there was no argument about the topic, just solidarity.

It does feel bad that she is not as attracted to me physically, but you reap what you sow.

I want to ask a follow up question ! What should/could she do on her part in order to be helpful/supportive during these trying times where I am fat and retarded?
 
Regina Togaf said:
I want to ask a follow up question ! What should/could she do on her part in order to be helpful/supportive during these trying times where I am fat and retarded?
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Well, something my husband did for me when I was skinny and retarded was asking me a couple times a day if I was staying on track with my calorie goals. I also tracked my calories on a whiteboard in our shared office, so we could both see it. If your gf is willing to participate in a similar system, maybe you could write down the calorie content of your meals on a whiteboard after you eat them, and having that extra layer of accountability could help you resist overeating (don't let it turn into her having to micromanage you, though).

Also, if she knows that certain snacks or foods particularly tempt you to overindulge, she might consider not keeping them in the house while you're on a diet, or keeping them in limited quantities. If she likes to cook, she could also help you with meal planning or finding new low-calorie recipes to try.

ETA: Forgot to add in my last post that, when calculating your daily calorie intake, you should shoot for moderate weight loss rather than slow or fast. Slow will be too slow and you'll get discouraged at the lack of visible progress, but if you try to lose weight too fast you'll get hungry and angry and it might fuck with your metabolism.
 
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Shakira Flabbergasted said:
Well, something my husband did for me when I was skinny and retarded was asking me a couple times a day if I was staying on track with my calorie goals. I also tracked my calories on a whiteboard in our shared office, so we could both see it. If your gf is willing to participate in a similar system, maybe you could write down the calorie content of your meals on a whiteboard after you eat them, and having that extra layer of accountability could help you resist overeating (don't let it turn into her having to micromanage you, though).

Also, if she knows that certain snacks or foods particularly tempt you to overindulge, she might consider not keeping them in the house while you're on a diet, or keeping them in limited quantities. If she likes to cook, she could also help you with meal planning or finding new low-calorie recipes to try.

ETA: Forgot to add in my last post that, when calculating your daily calorie intake, you should shoot for moderate weight loss rather than slow or fast. Slow will be too slow and you'll get discouraged at the lack of visible progress, but if you try to lose weight too fast you'll get hungry and angry and it might fuck with your metabolism.
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Personally I think that loss weight is easier when you have external help and encouragement, even doing exercise and eating healthy food is easier and funnier when you are not alone, and I think getting help from your loved ones is super important to stop being a fat retard and shit
 
Regina Togaf said:
Thanks for the insight frens !

Recently my girlfriend has initiated said difficult conversation. It wasn't as bad as I thought it would be; we both agree on the current situation and what needs to be done, even if it takes a long time to change my weight. Since we both understand each other, I think that we both handled it well and there was no argument about the topic, just solidarity.

It does feel bad that she is not as attracted to me physically, but you reap what you sow.

I want to ask a follow up question ! What should/could she do on her part in order to be helpful/supportive during these trying times where I am fat and retarded?
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since i don't see it mentioned, i do want to be semi captain obvious and say this is one of those topics for either gender that changes feeling A LOT by raw wording. in situations like this you always want to stick to some form of saying (depending on relationship status) you want to have a long, healthy life with them, (landmine field here) and are worried about their health, maybe bring up you've had issues with your breath or something too to avoid sounding like a dick, and would like to start exercising/eating differently with them. ideally share their exercises, eat similar to them or at least not like a banana split or megaburger while they have to eat rice crackers etc.

it's ideally a good opportunity for bonding, memories, and fun spent together, and like a baby's first real *partner* experience. would recommend having your partner participate much as possible. would also recommend avoiding attractiveness talk with that, that just winds up being emotionally like "honey, does this make my ass look fat?" and instead of saying something like "no, you're sexy af, i'll prove it (eggplant)" you go "yes, you need to lose at least 10 pounds to get me hard". that's exaggeration but shit like that can be a real emotional minefield for either party when it shouldn't/doesn't need to be, which also makes losing weight harder, causes binging, emotional distress, resentment etc
 
Why do I sometimes feel like crying without any of the emotion? I don't feel emotionally vulnerable at all, it's like a physical feeling in my face by my eyes. Am I dehydrated or something?
 
NoReturn said:
Why do I sometimes feel like crying without any of the emotion? I don't feel emotionally vulnerable at all, it's like a physical feeling in my face by my eyes. Am I dehydrated or something?
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Allergies, dissociation from emotions that actually are there, brain damage (most likely).
 
im going to dress like kingcobrajfs for halloween is there a way you can get the black nail polish to appear weathered without wearing it for a long time
 
Start doing things with your hands, before it dries out. Or don't wash off any grease from hands before painting your nails.
That, or you can use clumsy real men's nail polish and likely don't have to buy anything.

istockphoto-954161862-612x612.webp
 
Shakira Flabbergasted said:
I need women who wear ballet flats to tell me how long it usually takes to break in leather ones. All I've worn in the past were cheap faux leather or fabric flats, and they never needed breaking in, but fell apart in less than a year. I bought these last week thinking they'd be a good investment, but so far I've received only heel pain. I've been wearing them around the house with thick socks on for the past couple days to try and break them in, and it's helped some, but I can still only stand walking in them for about an hour. How long should it take for either my heels or the shoes to adjust?

P.S. — Yes, they are properly sized and not too small. The next size up were so large on me that they wouldn't stay on when I walked.
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Perhaps they are the wrong shape as someone else pointed out, but wearing thick socks is probably working against you.

To get leather to stretch, you need heat and moisture. Thick socks could be keeping the heat and sweat from your foot from stretching the leather.

The soles of your shoes will break down, then out. Meaning, the insole will accept the shape of your foot before the vamps will. Standing in them will get those changes going, so you may want to start out just standing for a long time. But generally, what you should do before putting on your shoes is:

1) Boil a big pot of water.
2) Hold the shoe in the steam for a few minutes to get the leather supple and yes, you do want it to get moist with steam inside of the shoe. That’s probably the most important place to make sure the steam goes.
3) Wear the shoes as long as you can handle. Let them cool down on your foot before you remove them.
4) Wait 48 hours before wearing them again (so that they dry out, which is important for leather shoes of all kinds, you should alternate your shoes daily for this reason).
5) Repeat steps 1-4 as necessary.

Do all this with whichever socks you plan to normally wear with the shoes.

These tips work for any leather shoe.
 
Fishnumm said:
im going to dress like kingcobrajfs for halloween is there a way you can get the black nail polish to appear weathered without wearing it for a long time
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Don't use a base coat or top coat. Once the nails have dried, go outside and dig around in the dirt and leaves with your bare fingers.
 
How should I take photos of myself for the dating apps if I'm facially disfigured?
It's hard enough IRL being treated like a circus freak because my immune system decides to just destroy itself willy-nilly (that and the unwarranted "advice" from boomers thinking it's acne drives me up the fucking wall)... but I digress

Friend IRL is trying to get me back on that shit since I think he can tell I'm a little down on my luck.

I'm in decent shape, have plenty of muscle and shit but I'm not the kinda fag to show off I guess lol.

Any way to make up for it? Or just give up on the apps?
 
Rekeita's Kidneys said:
How should I take photos of myself for the dating apps if I'm facially disfigured?
It's hard enough IRL being treated like a circus freak because my immune system decides to just destroy itself willy-nilly (that and the unwarranted "advice" from boomers thinking it's acne drives me up the fucking wall)... but I digress

Friend IRL is trying to get me back on that shit since I think he can tell I'm a little down on my luck.

I'm in decent shape, have plenty of muscle and shit but I'm not the kinda fag to show off I guess lol.

Any way to make up for it? Or just give up on the apps?
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Maybe this is just me, but I'd say just take the most flattering picture of yourself that you can and put some context in your bio. Own it. Don't let it own you. It'll take some careful editing to make sure you don't accidentally sound like you're farming attention or being a victim, but I think you could find a way to make it clear that you're more than just that, in your voice, that portrays you as confident, and would make anyone worth your time respect you. You could even make a joke like, "Make sure to ask me about my sick hornet scars." My brother used to joke to ladies that a horrible surgical scar he had was a shark attack, even though it clearly wasn't. It got laughs every time, and people respected his not wanting to share everything right away.
 
crushedpuss said:
Maybe this is just me, but I'd say just take the most flattering picture of yourself that you can and put some context in your bio. Own it. Don't let it own you. It'll take some careful editing to make sure you don't accidentally sound like you're farming attention or being a victim, but I think you could find a way to make it clear that you're more than just that, in your voice, that portrays you as confident, and would make anyone worth your time respect you. You could even make a joke like, "Make sure to ask me about my sick hornet scars." My brother used to joke to ladies that a horrible surgical scar he had was a shark attack, even though it clearly wasn't. It got laughs every time, and people respected his not wanting to share everything right away.
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It'd work if they actually read the damned bio :(

I mentioned the skin condition I live with and it doesn't seem to do much. Funny thing is my facial shape itself isn't exactly bad, I just have a really shitty gay autoimmune disorder that decides to attack hair follicles, cause big cysts (that are very fucking painful!) and leave scars everywhere.

Maybe just a pic of me doing some other shit with my face out of frame for the first photo could work?...
 
Rekeita's Kidneys said:
It'd work if they actually read the damned bio :(

I mentioned the skin condition I live with and it doesn't seem to do much. Funny thing is my facial shape itself isn't exactly bad, I just have a really shitty gay autoimmune disorder that decides to attack hair follicles, cause big cysts (that are very fucking painful!) and leave scars everywhere.

Maybe just a pic of me doing some other shit with my face out of frame for the first photo could work?...
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You have my sympathies, I struggled with something similar while younger that thankfully went into remission. I'm so sorry you're having to battle with it.

Go hard and wear a motorcycle helmet with dramatic lighting while doing a power pose.
 
Super Mario Brothers said:
Are most heterosexual women repulsed by lesbians, or is that only a minority?
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I believe I've run into more of them than the average person, and I can say that the repulsive ones are mostly those that put their lesbianism first before any other attributes. If one of the first things you find out about a woman is that she's a lesbian, she is extremely likely to not care about your boundaries or social boundaries in general, i.e., attempting to dig into your sexual life, oversharing her own, etc.

Outside of those cases, I think most young women don't give a shit. There might be apprehension due to the fear of having a friendship be sexualized by one party (like with men), but if that's not on the horizon, the concern goes away eventually.
 
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