💪 Tough Guys Patrick Sean Tomlinson / @stealthygeek / "Torque Wheeler" / @RealAutomanic / Kempesh / Padawan v2.5 - "Conservative" sci-fi author with TDS, armed "drunk with anger management issues" and terminated parental rights, actual tough guy, obese, paid Quasi, paid thousands to be repeatedly unbanned from Twitter

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Lei Wulong's Left Leg said:
like Fat is an obese princess intoning his words from the back of a departing yacht to the masses of Stalker Children on Prison Island.
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This is well put.

Law said:
I was the same way! I always imagined "no, child" to be barked out, gruffly, the way you might say "fuck you". I thought he'd sound like an angry, thwarted man who makes driving a truck his entire personality and is kinda rude to people in drive-thrus, the classic, chest-puffed-out, tough guy. Instead he sounds like Snagglepuss and it is such a mindfuck.
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There's something almost Chris Chan-like about the way his voice goes up a few notes in the middle of a "No." Like, "Nooooo child." He speaks without force, without "oomph." That photo of Patrick daintily dining upon mustard and spam makes so much more sense to me now.

Are there any recordings of Patrick saying "Enjoy prison" out loud?

Law said:
On the Josiah tape, he wants to be the clever, gay-coded villain who's telling the hapless heroes that they've just walked into a trap, Dio-style.
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I think you're right about this. He sounded like he was trying to deliver a gloating speech in a film. Of course, James Bond never interrupts the villain's monologue by calling him a fat homo.
 
Re: Leslie case. Her petition is now officially "outdated" and could be closed in the next 60 days
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YouTube Autist said:
I think you're right about this. He sounded like he was trying to deliver a gloating speech in a film. Of course, James Bond never interrupts the villain's monologue by calling him a fat homo.
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Villain Pat smugly purring "We've already figured it out", only to get Josiah asking "We've figured out that you're a fat faggot with bitch tits?", is comedy platinum.
I think the Chris Chan comparison is apt. It's like the autism causes them to act like they're in a play or a movie, and the script calls for a Curse-mehameha or wispily telling Funster Josiah Child that we've already figured it out, but no one else has read the script. No one else can see the things they're reacting to. Pat's responses really made no sense. Josiah sounded genuinely baffled, which made it even funnier.
The operatic tones he gets into during his "blah, blah, bluh-bluh blah" bit are also something.
I don't know if the voice is him subconsciously imitating his mother, cause I have never heard a human being talk like that.
 
FinnSven said:
Doesn’t Chicago have fairly restrictive, for the US, gun laws?
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Worst in the country. That's why the current leading case on the Second Amendment as it applies to the States is McDonald v. City of Chicago.
Useful_Mistake said:
Re: Leslie case. Her petition is now officially "outdated" and could be closed in the next 60 days
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Cold feet or just realized it was a trifle silly?
Law said:
The operatic tones he gets into during his "blah, blah, bluh-bluh blah" bit are also something.
I don't know if the voice is him subconsciously imitating his mother, cause I have never heard a human being talk like that.
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He sounds more fat, more faggy, and more bitch-titted than even a typical fat faggot with bitch tits.

All Rick enjoyers should listen at least to Josiah 5. That way, when you are enjoying reading his unhinged tweets, you will enjoy hearing them in his unhinged voice. He genuinely sounds completely crazy.
 
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Sneedfully and Peacefully said:
What about General Fatton and Healthcare System Pat?
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We can also add Kempesh, an autistic man-child who is obsessed with spaceships. He is much more friendly and gregarious than the other Patsonalities, and looks up to other people. He has a childlike view of the world, and thinks a drunk, middle-aged Canadian guy is one of the coolest people he has ever met. Is bullied by the other Patsonalities, notably Rage-pig and General Fatton. Orders mozzarella sticks at Hooligans. Spends Pat's Quasi-paying money on toys.
YouTube Autist said:
Are there any recordings of Patrick saying "Enjoy prison" out loud?
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This is like the holy grail of Patposting. Only a tireless funster who was brave and true could obtain it.
 
Law said:
We can also add Kempesh, an autistic man-child who is obsessed with spaceships. He is much more friendly and gregarious than the other Patsonalities, and looks up to other people. He has a childlike view of the world, and thinks a drunk, middle-aged Canadian guy is one of the coolest people he has ever met. Is bullied by the other Patsonalities, notably Rage-pig and General Fatton. Orders mozzarella sticks at Hooligans. Spends Pat's Quasi-paying money on toys.

This is like the holy grail of Patposting. Only a tireless funster who was brave and true could obtain it.
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I can picture it. Worldcon 2026. Someone runs up with a concealed (or if they genuinely give zero fucks their phone) camera and says "hey pat it's Honey Badger" and record his reaction. It's either going to be immediate screeching and shouting followed by attempting to manhandle them, or what I more likely picture is him turning into some form of Josiah 5/the SWAT call. "You have deCided to COME here, sssstalker, in PubliC, to cross the final boundary of your CRIMINAL ACTIVITY!!!!! You are finally going to get what you wanted all along, and enjoy prison." And as the funster just keeps saying pepperoni or fat or #PAIDQUASI he keeps repeating similar lines as he desperately looks around for con staff/security, until eventually some bystander finds them for him, telling them that a person is harassing another attendee and they think they're doing it because the victim is autistic/special needs.

It somehow ends with Pat being the one banned.
 
Maybe you'd have to fake an arrest on the other end of the call. I'd imagine that it'd go down like this:
Stalker Child: "You're a fat queer!"
Pat: "NooOoo child, I am not fat, little baby girl, child, it is yooUuu who -"
*loud knock, stage left* "Police!"
Stalker Child: "OH no! I'm being arrested for my numerous cybercrimes!"
Pat: says the line, makes history, gets his thread to 6k pages as we endlessly dissect the exact way he pronounces "prison", possible LOTY
 
Useful_Mistake said:
Imagine throwing away a free win. Still, she can file another petition within the case so it's not over yet
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Did I imagine it, or did she once say she has PTSD? If true, I can maybe understand this. My cousin who saw some action and has PTSD can operate as normal in society for certain periods but there will be weeks where he pulls the blanket over his head, literally, and people have to go around and make sure he eats/showers/doesn’t drink. Someone like him I can imagine confidently filing a court application and then not following through. Maybe Leslie’s like that?
 
Piggle Rick said:
Did I imagine it, or did she once say she has PTSD? If true, I can maybe understand this. My cousin who saw some action and has PTSD can operate as normal in society for certain periods but there will be weeks where he pulls the blanket over his head, literally, and people have to go around and make sure he eats/showers/doesn’t drink. Someone like him I can imagine confidently filing a court application and then not following through. Maybe Leslie’s like that?
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She's an artistic, lefty, jewish woman - it's just Munchausen.
She's also neurodivergent, bipolar, monopolysexual, and super duper special and unique.
 
Law said:
Rage-pig: a flustered, red-faced, and easily angered Patsonality that appears as a primal pig-spirit. This Patsonality will front when the other alters feel threatened by a stalker child.
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It's so unfair that there's an active investigation and we can't see the bodycam footage of the time he swung on a cop. I would pay good money to see a first person view of his bloated face raging and screaming.
 
Law said:
Gym-rat Pat: takes lots of selfies, attempts to run marathons, cheats. Is not, and never was, fat, and is constantly surprised at his host body. This Patsonality is recognizable by his sweaty sheen and wide, sideways smile
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My fellow Patposter in Christ, you done nuked my ribs here.

Sexy Senior Citizen said:
It's too bad Rick is a coward. I'd love to see him pick a fight with a pest and get his butt kicked.
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I don't want to see him get stomped out or anything. I want him to pick a fight with someone that knows how to fight and is also petty enough to do stuff like slap his fat tits when he leaves giant openings, give him pink belly at the end, or knock him down, mount him (not @Judge Holden style), and then make him hit himself while asking him, "Why are you trying to feed yourself your own teeth, you fat faggot?"
 
Aight so its midnight in Milwaukee right now
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...and we have an ongoing oinkout this very minute
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"I'M NOT FAT" he oinks fatly
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Also he is now demanding that the #resistance storms the capitol to free america from drumpf
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We also got a couple unique oinks worth noting last night
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Judge Holden said:
Also he is now demanding that the #resistance storms the capitol to free america from drumpf
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Why should people die for you you fat fucker? You can talk all the shit you want when you rely on others fight for you. I thought you were a "tough guy". South Korea didn't have to do this to gain back their Democracy and had a re-election. Something America would never do because their system is set up to never have re-elections, there's always someone to take over the presidents role. In Canada if the leader is as much of a failure as Trump, you can have a Vote of No Confidence. With NDP being basically a dead party they can't keep the Liberals in charge. They need the Bloq to keep them in charge and they always want a lot. If you need a violence revolution to get a new democratic government then your version of democracy has failed.

I'm sorry Battleborn, but if Patrick took a month off of social media he'd go on a murder/ suicide spree. He can't live without it. What he really needs is better, non pedophile friends.
 
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