💼 Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

[LordofCringe7206 Vol. 2]

Though this is true, the moment anyone points out that his "lazy" recipes are more involved than necessary, he lashes out in narc injury. Jack is one of those delusional assholes whose bubbles deflate, but never pop unless someone else does it for him.

I feel like the big issue with his whole lazy man series is that his normal cooking is already pretty lazy to begin with as far as cooking goes. He usually just dumps pre-packaged items together and then improperly cooks whatever he has assembled. "Lazy" cooking to me is just pouring spaghetti-o's into a pot or cooking a frozen dinner.

 

[Falcon Sebben]

I feel like the big issue with his whole lazy man series is that his normal cooking is already pretty lazy to begin with as far as cooking goes. He usually just dumps pre-packaged items together and then improperly cooks whatever he has assembled. "Lazy" cooking to me is just pouring spaghetti-o's into a pot or cooking a frozen dinner.

Yeah but he wants to larp as if he's somehow special and some kind of food guru.

 

[Eventide]

So my cousin recently sent me a link to Jack's channel. Not to mock it - he genuinely liked one of Jack's videos (on grilled cheese, of all things).

My cousin is also a teensy bit brain damaged from ODing a few years back, so...

 

[Aunt Carol]

So my cousin recently sent me a link to Jack's channel. Not to mock it - he genuinely liked one of Jack's videos (on grilled cheese, of all things).

My cousin is also a teensy bit brain damaged from ODing a few years back, so...

We've seen the pictures Jack takes with fans. Other than Rob, it sounds like your cousin is exactly Jack's demographic.

 

[Ihatejackscalfani]

This is how Jack licks Tammys pussy by the way.

 

[Dead Air]

This is how Jack licks Tammys pussy by the way.

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Only the largest folds of roast beef for our boy Jack.

 

[LaughJoke2.0]

This is how Jack licks Tammys pussy by the way.

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No that's how he preps the bull.

 

[Shartavius]

No that's how he preps the bull.

Between the rampant faggotry of Jack, Babish, and Josh Weissman, not enough people remember to shit on /ck/ spammer Adam Ragusea.

 

[Uber driver reviewer]

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Between the rampant faggotry of Jack, Babish, and Josh Weissman, not enough people remember to shit on /ck/ spammer Adam Ragusea.

wtf is this?

Is his wife hot

Is she Jewish?​

 

[Pig Cups]

To be fair a lot of people use baby wipes for the final tour.

I know more people nowadays who have them versus those who don’t. It seems like a popular option absent a bidet, regardless of whether or not you have kids.

While searching for assets for the game jam, I looked up aunt myrnas party cheese salad, dunno if it was posted here yet, but apparently some recipe slop sites picked up on it as a trend and are showing recipes.
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Apparently this is what it looks like:
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God help those poor, uninitiated souls who naively make this without doing any further research.

Imagine being Tammy, watching naked Jack pound your fupa missionary style, meat sweats dripping onto you as he labors away trying to ejaculate before he passes out from exhaustion.

Even missionary position takes a level of physical dynamism that Jack does not possess. With a single working limb in his left arm, how the fuck is he supposed to attain the stability, accuracy, rhythm, and motion required to achieve the actual act of fucking? I imagine that the gunt (and its effects on the dick) prevents Tammy from doing cowgirl, too. Surely, his deadened legs only allow him a short amount of time on his knees, so doggy is out of the question.

I dunno…every sex position that I can research or think of seems like a no-go for our lovebirds. There’s just always some limitation that presents itself related to Jack’s dead limbs, the size of his thumbdick, lack of physical stamina, lack of maneuverability, and poor general health.

Make no mistake- as much as we joke, they still have some form of sexual communion. It’s just a lot less rowdy, is all. The most action Jack probably gets is Tammers (begrudgingly) giving him a blowjob. He’s also probably allowed to finger her with his good hand. Who knows- maybe she’s a freak who gets off on fisting herself with his paralyzed arm, itching to wear it like a puppet? It just seems as if regular, penetrative intercourse isn’t physically realistic for them at this juncture.

 

[Falcon Sebben]

I dunno…every sex position that I can research or think of seems like a no-go for our lovebirds.

He's 57, has had several strokes and is morbidly obese. I'd be surprised if his dick works now.

Sure before all this I'm pretty sure that they had sex occasionally. But figuring out the logistics of the position and how either of them managed to get enough flab out of the way is not a rabbit hole I want to go down. There are certain things in this world I don't want to know. Scalfatty sex is one of them.

 

[Pig Cups]

There are certain things in this world I don't want to know. Scalfatty sex is one of them.

C’mon, where’s your sense of adventure?

 

[the khat quaffer]

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Between the rampant faggotry of Jack, Babish, and Josh Weissman, not enough people remember to shit on /ck/ spammer Adam Ragusea.

Every time I see that vasectomized soy elemental Adam Ragheadusa I want to punch the screen or throw my phone at a homeless person.

Spoiler: MATI

The way he talks, the facial expressions he makes, the way he authoritatively raises his eyebrows as if he's talking to the audience like they're children, all of it. An old friend got me to watching him when we were learning to cook new shit together, and I actually started watching him for quite a bit. Then after ten or twenty videos, it dawned on me, like a lightning bolt from beyond: wait a minute...I fucking HATE THIS GUY!

He's 57, has had several strokes and is morbidly obese. I'd be surprised if his dick works now.

Sure before all this I'm pretty sure that they had sex occasionally. But figuring out the logistics of the position and how either of them managed to get enough flab out of the way is not a rabbit hole I want to go down. There are certain things in this world I don't want to know. Scalfatty sex is one of them.

I knew a gal with a dad that had had a stroke in what must have been his ~50s/60s. Similar to our beluga sandnigger italian, one side of his body was paralyzed. She nonchalantly admitted that "his wee-wee didn't work right for a year." Whether that meant urinating or otherwise, who's to say.

Of course this was likely a single stroke, and of course I did not press further, being only 20something at the time. I don't wanna know about your old fat black dad's dick problems. Her phrasing implies he got better, maybe because he did his PT or changed his habits. Mysteries abound.

 

[Dead Air]

Let's be real here, you think the lazy man was doing anything but laying on his back even in his "prime"? Anything approaching exercise is anathema to him. Nowadays speculation of current Jack is pointless. Dudes had multiple strokes and is morbidly obese. That dick don't work.

 

[Ihatejackscalfani]

That dick don't work.

I wonder if Jack takes prescription medications like Viagra to make his prick work or is that against the rules of his church cult?

 

[AnOminous]

Motherfucker used CHEESE BALLS to make stove-stop mac n' cheese. He tried to sous vide an omelette with plastic ziploc bags.

You can technically sous vide in Ziploc bags. The results aren't very good and you can't really get all the air out so you need to weigh them down.

But then you still have the fact that sous videing an omelet is a completely retarded idea. There's no reason it makes any sense at all to do.

 

[the khat quaffer]

You can technically sous vide in Ziploc bags. The results aren't very good and you can't really get all the air out so you need to weigh them down.

But then you still have the fact that sous videing an omelet is a completely retarded idea. There's no reason it makes any sense at all to do.

Plastic ziploc bags (most plastic) are not meant to go beyond a certain temperature for fear of toxic contamination. I forget the temps but plenty of commenters mentioned the threshold for those bags is veeery close to the temperature they needed to reach in Jack's video. Plus, he used sharpie on them. Given that Jack has been known to play fast and loose with temps and times, who fucking knows what happened.

I wouldn't be surprised if he microwaved styrofoam in the past.

 

[Hollywood Hulk Hogan]

You can technically sous vide in Ziploc bags. The results aren't very good and you can't really get all the air out so you need to weigh them down.

But then you still have the fact that sous videing an omelet is a completely retarded idea. There's no reason it makes any sense at all to do.

Yeah, it takes less time to cook an omelet the normal way and clean it up than fatty's retarded sous vide idea. Plus it won't result in a plastic taste and the texture will be way better

 

[Shartavius]

You can technically sous vide in Ziploc bags. The results aren't very good and you can't really get all the air out so you need to weigh them down.

It won't work with frozen shit that has air bubbles trapped inside it (such as hamburger patties) - But the air can be displaced by water pressure once it's thawed or has cooked for a few minutes.

 

[Uber driver reviewer]

I wonder if Jack takes prescription medications like Viagra to make his prick work or is that against the rules of his church cult?

He’s definitely on prednisone for something. I’m Guessing for respiratory or dermatology related.

It’s the only explanation for his occasional days of 3 streams where he is exceptionally abrasive. For example, yesterday when he lost his mind about everything liberal during his completely unhinged stream with cousin Jimmy.

Regarding viagra. It’s doubtful that there are any theological issues at play here because he’s married. But Jack’s bullshit macho bravado Won’t let him take it. He’s definitely one of those guys that has never even tried ED meds, and thinks that he “doesn’t need those things , ED pills are for limpdick fgts”. Yeah I can get a hardon just fine too, but my pnis at 18 doesn’t have anything on my viagra enhanced pnis of my 40’s, and I’m not a bit shy about using them. Macho fucks can call me whatever they want, I’m the one with my dick functioning at 110%. It’s literally a cheat code for sex.

Jack would blame a limp dick on seed oils, witchcraft, democrats, illegals, the Chinese and the latest Superman movie before he blames himself (or they gays, the only thing that still gets him hard besides BBQ)