💼 Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

[Uber driver reviewer]

Losing my shit over here reading this, holy hell.

Everyone……EVERYONE….needs a Tammy,.

 

[Whaler]

Is that honest to God what it's for? I thought it was similar to a male bike seat having a divit to accommodate an old man's especially saggy junk. Woe for the illegal cleaning lady who has to clean that up.

That's not exactly the reason it's there. It's to relieve pressure off the pudendal nerve (both males and females have this) because the pressure that's applied to it when riding bikes can damage it and the surgery to fix it is a fucking nightmare to go through. It helps keep the blood flow and keeps your spine in a more neutral position.

 

[Falcon Sebben]

One of Jack's videos prominently features a Costco 1,152-pack of baby wipes being carried by Tammy. There was no child in their household during this period.

To be fair a lot of people use baby wipes for the final tour. Found out about it here:

Went online afterwards and found out this is an actual trend with some people. So I wouldn't be surprised if after Hammy wipes his butt she polishes his asshole with handful of those baby wipes.

Is that honest to God what it's for?

No. It's there so that you can clean your junk and backside without having to get out of the chair.

And relives pressure off certain things down there.

 

[the khat quaffer]

That's not exactly the reason it's there. It's to relieve pressure off the pudendal nerve (both males and females have this) because the pressure that's applied to it when riding bikes can damage it and the surgery to fix it is a fucking nightmare to go through. It helps keep the blood flow and keeps your spine in a more neutral position.

Jesus Christ. Like the man said, never get old. First it's the eyes, then the teeth, pretty soon you can't take pissing for granted.

Is there any evidence that he actually wears a diaper (or that Tammy wipes his ass)? I like believing it but it would be amazing if I knew for sure.

I picture it's a duck situation.

Diapers are expensive; hence, he goes commando everywhere and when the dam breaks, he doesn't hold back. One day some poor prick is gonna unknowingly have a slip and fall on the train tracks he leaves behind.

 

[Shartavius]

Diapers are expensive; hence, he goes commando everywhere and when the dam breaks, he doesn't hold back.

This is on-brand. Jack is the type to leave a negative Google review emphasizing that "the customer is ALWAYS RIGHT" after a manager confronted him over the turd everyone claimed to have seen roll away from his table while he was filming himself loudly pretending he didn't order as much as he did. Now I want someone to ask his opinion of Prevail vs Depend during his next stream; so we can have a clearer picture of whether he shits more like a zoo animal or a pet monkey.

 

[Zeftax]

While searching for assets for the game jam, I looked up aunt myrnas party cheese salad, dunno if it was posted here yet, but apparently some recipe slop sites picked up on it as a trend and are showing recipes.

Apparently this is what it looks like:

 

[Whaler]

pretty soon you can't take pissing for granted.

Oh, it doesn't just stop at pee problems. Symptoms of pudendal nerve damage can range from mild pain while sitting and/or laying down to intense burning feelings in your groin, thighs, butt, anus, and lower stomach while pooping. It's an absolute hurricane of nightmare symptoms.

 

[Uber driver reviewer]

Oh, it doesn't just stop at pee problems. Symptoms of pudendal nerve damage can range from mild pain while sitting and/or laying down to intense burning feelings in your groin, thighs, butt, anus, and lower stomach while pooping. It's an absolute hurricane of nightmare symptoms.

Don’t a bunch of fat people die on the shitter after blacking out from strain on that nerve?

 

[the khat quaffer]

While searching for assets for the game jam, I looked up aunt myrnas party cheese salad, dunno if it was posted here yet, but apparently some recipe slop sites picked up on it as a trend and are showing recipes.
View attachment 7825624
Apparently this is what it looks like:
View attachment 7825625

That looks edible though. I mean, edible, sure, but someone would have to be half a fag to eat that. Doesn't even resemble salad. (I like food that looks like food, not some art school thesis project.)

Ironic, the AI sloptuber known as Jack Scalfani had literal slop sites make his real life slop look pleasing.

Don’t a bunch of fat people die on the shitter after blacking out from strain on that nerve?

That would be the final trigger, but other factors contribute, like heart disease (see: Elvis).

 

[AnOminous]

Jesus Christ. Like the man said, never get old. First it's the eyes, then the teeth, pretty soon you can't take pissing for granted.

Getting old is gay and unrealistic.

That would be the final trigger, but other factors contribute, like heart disease (see: Elvis).

Elvis also was a serious opioid and downer addict, so he almost certainly had rock hard giant shits that would be practically impossible to pass. So he blew his heart out trying.

I bet Jack has awful shits the consistency of baby shit that stink to high heaven, because he is a giant fat gay baby who eats bacon grease straight from a gallon bucket.

 

[Shartavius]

he is a giant fat gay baby who eats bacon grease straight from a gallon bucket.

*three gallon. Jack whines when Walmart doesn't have the 21.85 lb bucket on the shelf for Tammy to prolapse her uterus picking up and carrying all the way to the register for him while he films her from his motorized cart with a basketful of non-carnivore goods on the front of it. Then he goes home and blogs about how the people he saw there buying vegetables are poisoning themselves as his good deed for the day.

 

[AnOminous]

Jesus will personally hurl Jack into Hell when he dies.

 

[Falcon Sebben]

Jesus will personally hurl Jack into Hell when he dies.

The reason he's still alive is I'm betting neither God nor Satan want him in the same place they are. So it's either create a whole new place for Fatty or keep him alive until the balance is tipped do far in one direction that the other one would have no option but to take him.

 

[Postal Dude]

I bet Jack has awful shits the consistency of baby shit that stink to high heaven, because he is a giant fat gay baby who eats bacon grease straight from a gallon bucket.

I feel like it comes out white too, like a dog turd left out in the sun for a while. Just my two cents.

 

[Shartavius]

 

[Uber driver reviewer]

The reason he's still alive is I'm betting neither God nor Satan want him in the same place they are. So it's either create a whole new place for Fatty

This is key ghostbusters “choose your destroyer” moment.


Nobody wish for Bucc’ees…

 

[AltisticRight]

Call me retarded if you want but I cook regularly and tomato skin is too slippery for my sharp knife (which admittedly might not be all that sharp)

It does get the job nicely done and until I get off my lazy ass and sharpen my knives I'm gonna keep using a serrated knife

If your knives are cheap you can just get one of those pull through sharpeners whatever they're called. A few pulls and even the dullest cheap Wal-Mart buy $20 get it for free knife can slice through that pesky tomato with ease.

 

[The Stranger]

The reason he's still alive is I'm betting neither God nor Satan want him in the same place they are. So it's either create a whole new place for Fatty or keep him alive until the balance is tipped do far in one direction that the other one would have no option but to take him.

I want to believe in purgatory. Take away his scooty-puff and make him waddle across a barren nothingness searching for gud meat forever and ever.

 

[Doctor of Autism]

I'm back from vacation so time to check what this fat fuck is up to

Jack: "I'M NOT A BOOMER!"



Also Jack: "Cracker Barrel has fallen."
















He spammed this video 19 times

 

[Adamska]

Not surprised Fat Jack is raging out on Cracker Barrel, given that it's a place he constantly tries to cheat more food out of and has been rebuffed enough times to make spite videos on how to copy his favorite recipes. He probably still seethes over the hash brown casserole, still thinking that the good sized side portions are too small.

Don't get me wrong, I do think the rebranded label looks like absolute dog shit, and cutting the folksy atmosphere in favor of bland corposlop is also dumb. But you know this hateful fuck is glad it's suffering, even as he tards out for more fud from it and rages that the portions, known for stuffing even normal fat fucks, is too small.