💼 Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

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When will Jack drop dead?

  • February-March 2024

    Votes: 6 0.4%
  • April-May 2024

    Votes: 6 0.4%
  • June-July 2024

    Votes: 17 1.1%
  • August-September 2024

    Votes: 34 2.2%
  • October-November 2024

    Votes: 37 2.4%
  • December 2024

    Votes: 44 2.8%
  • Sometime in 2025

    Votes: 258 16.6%
  • Sometime in 2026

    Votes: 252 16.2%
  • Jack lives forever. The Wendigo Must Consoom

    Votes: 902 58.0%

  • Total voters
    1,556
I'm a lazy bastard that does want to mess around with a whetstone. It's just my knifes felt OK until tomatoes started ripening ~2 weeks ago and I realized I can't cut through the skin anymore. I'll sharpen them this weekend. Never heard of sharpening can openers.
Edit: I can still onion very thinly just fine, it really only is the tomato skin that is giving me trouble currently.
Whetstones are great once you know how to use them. The trick is to pretend that the whetstone is a block of cheese and you're just trying to cut off a very thin slice of it. And keep it wet with water while you use it. I use a whetstone with 3 different grits, although i only use the 2 finer ones (the medium and then the fine one)
 
Never heard of sharpening can openers.
Maybe it's boomer tier but they're really common.

There's even an Amazon Basics version.
Can't believe Cobra's gone. Learned it here. :( I didn't follow him religiously but to me he seemed like a decent-hearted person. Stunningly insane, but decent-hearted, which if we're being honest made him above average character-wise.
I hope he's surprised he ended up in Heaven with Ozzy (who was actually a Christian). Not in Hell, like where Jack is going.
 
Because no one else pointed it out:

Jack's title card is "Cuts Like Butter" in the Family Guy font. Butter doesn't cut anything. We know what he meant; because "cuts like a knife through butter" is a common expression to invoke when describing how sharp a tool (or malleable the substance being cut) is.

I'm being this pedantic because the guy just demonstrated that he couldn't be bothered to learn his own grandson's name, and probably shits the bed on purpose.
 
Did you know that's the worst thing you can say to a good Christian, like Jack? That they are going to Hell and thus aren't a good Christian? Like Jack.
He isn't a good Christian. He is a sucker of Satan's cock. He will end up with his master.
 
Last night Cousin Jimmy got absolutely hammered, and sloppy drunk on some nobody Twitch stream.

Then he went on a long anti-women rant. It was based until it went very very incel.

Then he divulged that he has a boyfriend-free Kenyan girlfriend. And she totally isn’t a Nigerian dude scamming him. There is some Russian babe competing for his attention too.

It was insane. Unhinged self-felting.
Oh Lordy I hope there is footage.

Jimmy we know you are reading this. Disavow your fat blob asshole cousin, get a haircut, grow some confidence, smash some box and come be cool with us

Wait, what's the point of taking Ivermectin now? People who believe it can cure COVID are on the opposite end of the spectrum from people who still take COVID vaccines.
He thinks it will cure a skin disorder.

The one that turns his facial skin into red sores and cigarette ashes

Me too. This tomato season is showing my knife set whats what. I don't think a single one of my knives is sharp anymore. But damn, I'm shit at sharpening knifes.
Use a bread knife my fren
 
Is this knife review the first time we've seen a voiceover from Jack? Love the end where he's banging his fist on the counter to enunciate whatever he's saying and he spaces out his voiceover to match it, kek. Also a big fan of Jack clearly removing the plastic from the cleaver with his mouth.

When will Jack learn that even the cheapest chinkshit knives can be sharp out of the box, but it's how long it holds it's edge that matters?
 
He hates rice and beans - considers them filler.

And basically any restaurant has a bunch of Spanish speaking people in the back. Guess "expert chef" Jack doesn't know that.
Little known fact, all Hispanic people are born bilingual. They know Spanish and Kitchen.

Oye esperame tu, pinche! Corre esa puta hamburgesa, ya tiene un rato en la ventana!! Muevete MIERDA

I doubt Tammy wakes Jack before 11am most places don't serve breakfast anymore by then.
I knew Jack was black!
 
When will Jack learn [X}

He won't. And if he says he did, he's lying; and will blatantly and repeatedly demonstrate and document the falsehood of it in subsequent videos. Though we may never know, it's a safe bet that Jack was somehow insistent upon wiping his ass wrong for his entire life, until other people began doing it for him (at which point he immediately began taking credit for their work to bolster his own self-esteem).
 
Did you know that's the worst thing you can say to a good Christian, like Jack? That they are going to Hell and thus aren't a good Christian? Like Jack.
Close enough, but Jack has already explicitly described at length what is the worst thing (according to him anyways) you can say to a Christian: that something they did or said was unchristian. He actually went off for like two or three minutes on the random commenter for saying that. Whoever that random commenter is, God bless you.

It was in one of those streams with that fedora wearing faggot whose name escapes me at the moment. It's several pages back and it's a highlight.

Jack was ... wiping his ass
:optimistic:
 
Close enough, but Jack has already explicitly described at length what is the worst thing (according to him anyways) you can say to a Christian: that something they did or said was unchristian. He actually went off for like two or three minutes on the random commenter for saying that. Whoever that random commenter is, God bless you.

It was in one of those streams with that fedora wearing faggot whose name escapes me at the moment. It's several pages back and it's a highlight.


:optimistic:
I remember that stream, that whole bit was annoying as fuck to watch. Whatever Jack is mad about at that moment is the worst thing you can say to him. He gets just as pissed at people calling out his AI slop.

>fedora wearing faggot
Cousin Jimmy?
 
Jack has exactly one, giant button which gets pressed any time people neglect or refuse to play along with the most recent lie to come out of his mouth. Given every attempt he documents is a disaster he expects his ass kissed for, it's rare that he doesn't try to present one of his obvious failures as a win. And all it takes to set him off is a single comment speaking to the emperor's state of undress. The man is so retarded that the thin skin on his narcissist underbelly is exposed at all times; with any instance of the world not going according to the script in his head causing critical injury to it. Even if he didn't have a diaper, this fat, evil bastard of a big baby is constantly lashing out as though he needs changed.

he kings like butter.webp
 
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Is there any evidence that he actually wears a diaper (or that Tammy wipes his ass)? I like believing it but it would be amazing if I knew for sure.

It's a longstanding educated guess people began invoking two strokes ago. Consider the following:

-Due to his deranged sense of entitlement and pathological insecurities to do with food and "being taken care of", Jack fetishizes being dependent upon others waiting on him and mothering him; which is why he has refused to rehabilitate following any of his debilitating strokes, heart attacks, and achilles blowouts.

-Jack bragged that nurses having to wipe him during his hospital stays is proof that he is a humble man. Because he never even attempted to recover mobility or independence, Jack is no less disabled - Meaning Tammy must be tasked with wiping him at home, and would likely insist on diapering as a compromise.

-Jack walks like a toddler with a full diaper.

-Jack left a scathing, negative review of underwear for not being large enough to accommodate his big business. Because he always lies about instances of user error (and has been sued for it), we speculated that one of the crucial details he omitted amounted to forgetting to go a size larger when ordering; for the sake of aiding Tammy in attempting to stretch the undies over his diaper, and/or said undies loudly failing in a Taco Bell booth; snapping, and shooting out of his shorts as a high speed projectile once his diaper filled beyond a certain point.

-One of Jack's videos prominently features a Costco 1,152-pack of baby wipes being carried by Tammy. There was no child in their household during this period.

-Jack designed the bathroom and shower in the master bedroom of his Groverhaus pole barn to accommodate the two man job his occasional bathing is. "His" side of the seven foot shower includes a handicap chair he can shit through, and wall handles he can grip with his remaining arm in order to facilitate getting in and out of the shower chair (oddly, there are none for getting in and out of the shower; giving the impression that he enters it in the manner of a slider turtle). There is a bench next to the shower chair for his naked attendant to use, and their bench does not include shitting holes. Contrast these fixtures with the toilet in the same bathroom; which has zero handicap rails or handles.

Neither the half-bath nor guest bathroom have handicap-accessible toilets or fixtures, either. In fact, the creepy double-shower is the only handicap-accessible aspect of Jack's entire house (meaning Tammy and Junior have to manhandle him in his chair or scooter just to lift him up into his exclusive point of entry at the front door, which Jack admits to being unable to traverse under his own power within his negative Amazon reviews devoting to whining that their drivers should have to enter his house and leave his orders where he can reach them. This caused some of us to immediately comment that Jack wants Amazon drivers to risk walking in on one of his regular diaper changes in which he (presumably) insists upon being changed like a baby via automotive engine hoist.

-We prefer to believe that Jack is not just shitting directly into his pants at all times without a barrier. Then again, he is forced to sit on a blanket covering his designated section of the living room couch he remains planted in for most of the day while he's belching syllables into his phone to demand it tell him how his grandson's name is pronounced.
 
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Is there any evidence that he actually wears a diaper (or that Tammy wipes his ass)? I like believing it but it would be amazing if I knew for sure.
There's evidence that Jack and Tammy buy gigantic amounts of Sam's Club baby wipes, before Brianna was even pregnant. (Ninja'd by @Marc)
 
Jack left a scathing, negative review of underwear for not being large enough to accommodate his big business. Because he always lies about instances of user error (and has been sued for it), we speculated that one of the crucial details he omitted amounted to forgetting to go a size larger when ordering; for the sake of aiding Tammy in attempting to stretch the undies over his diaper, and/or said undies loudly failing in a Taco Bell booth; snapping, and shooting out of his shorts as a high speed projectile once his diaper filled beyond a certain point.
Losing my shit over here reading this, holy hell.
 
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