🌟 Internet Famous Jason Thor Hall / PirateSoftware / Maldavius Figtree / DarkSphere Creations / Maldavius / Thorwich / Witness X / @PotatoSec - Incompetent Furry Programmer, Blizzard Nepo Baby, Lies about almost every thing in his life, Industry Shill, Carried by his father, Hate boner against Ross Scott of Accursed Farms, False Flagger

[Campbell_Trio]

How much do you want to bet that Mald was a newfag that everyone derided on 4chan?

I'd bet 50 on him being among those who left for good after Trump won in 2016.

 

[el gordo]

In case he DFEs again
copy_2D3715D3-6621-4AAF-B192-F20B90773A58.mov

'ill clean the house, that will be my day'
quote. self described workahollic who can rack up 16 hour days when given an opportunity to work on his game

 

[TrainWreckWatcher]

if he actually paid a PR company of some kind, it's pretty classic PR strategies to delete all evidence, either replace it with worthless evidence, or just delete it entirely, and never ever, under any circumstances, acknowledge what happened.

He should have done that ages ago. Way too late like you said.
Cats out of the bag we have everything.
Also I don't think his ego will let him keep it up long enough for it to work.

Jason ended stream early today.
Claims his and Shaye's PC's / network are being attacked in some way?

https://www.twitch.tv/videos/2547671314?t=0h10m11s

Absolute horse shit. He's so full of shit his eyes are brown.

He insisted on it being on Jagex side, possibly people trying to login to his jagex account repeatedly.

Why would people trying to login to your account make the game unplayable for both you and your pooner house elf?
What a fucking retard at least make the lie believable.

 

[Elite Kipchak]

Whats with this new type of cope people like Jason use where they claim they were "raised by/on 4chan" when they run into edgy jokes but then imminently pearl clutch once said edgy jokes are aimed at them, that joke about one of his ferrets dying from out of mana was standard 4chan ball busting and yet he acted like someone just doxxed him.

Why is claiming to have desensitized by 4chan the new defense to use by people who arent desensitized

>i was exposed to horrific gore, tranny porn, and cp as a minor, I'm so desensitized lol. you wouldn't get it, newfag
this doesn't make you cool.

 

[Pippa's Greasy KB]

Why would people trying to login to your account make the game unplayable for both you and your pooner house elf?
What a fucking retard at least make the lie believable.

Login attempts wouldn't disrupt your connection. Either it kicks you out and locks you out or it doesn't. The fuck does he think logins are? Also cyber security expert has an easily guessable account username/id? Really?

 

[Aidan]

Wouldn't someone need his email address he registered with to attempt to lockout with login spam? And Mald is a self-proclaimed cybersecurity expert so if this were the case it would mean he showed his logging in on stream or reused a known email.
Doesn't add up.

Occam's Razor suggests that Mald is an idiot and made up some bullshit like he does all the time instead of admitting he had no idea what was wrong.

 

[BigPeanut]

"I'll spend some time cleaning my house"
Good luck with the layers of caked up piss

And the many overflowing barrels of ferret blood and corpses.

 

[Unimaginative Username]

Wouldn't someone need his email address he registered with to attempt to lockout with login spam? And Mald is a self-proclaimed cybersecurity expert so if this were the case it would mean he showed his logging in on stream or reused a known email.
Doesn't add up.

Occam's Razor suggests that Mald is an idiot and made up some bullshit like he does all the time instead of admitting he had no idea what was wrong.

Since all of his expertise is faked, I suspect that if pressed for an explanation of how somebody trying to log into a remote system using his e-mail address (but without his password) would degrade performance on his local system, he'd just spew out some thoroughly meaningless Hollywood technobabble and be absolutely confident while doing it.

 

[Pippa's Greasy KB]

Wouldn't someone need his email address he registered with to attempt to lockout with login spam? And Mald is a self-proclaimed cybersecurity expert so if this were the case it would mean he showed his logging in on stream or reused a known email.
Doesn't add up.

Occam's Razor suggests that Mald is an idiot and made up some bullshit like he does all the time instead of admitting he had no idea what was wrong.

This faggot used maldavius figtree as his mmo character names multiple times at the height of his popularity (wow, some korean mmo, etc). He wanted to detach himself from his furry past when he started gaining popularity larping as a hacker game dev and he uses his fursona name anyway.

Of course he's retarded.

 

[Nothing Is Written]

Why is claiming to have desensitized by 4chan the new defense to use by people who arent desensitized

Yeah didn't idubbz say the same shit before crying in a therapy session in one of his content cops?

It's pretty common to bring 4chan up as a sort of internet baptism of fire, especially in the 2000s-2010s; the site was fucking disgusting. CP, gore, the novelty of saying niggerfaggot without being modded. But it's stale now.

Even hobby boards aren't safe, and those that are are so fucking committed to their board memes that anything against the grain goes to page 10. Wanna talk about Viconia in BG2 and how she's OP? Nope, ten Assassin Creed Shadow threads will fucking sink that thread.

 

[Doggy Dog World]

>i was exposed to horrific gore, tranny porn, and cp as a minor, I'm so desensitized lol. you wouldn't get it, newfag
this doesn't make you cool.

Wonder if he would fake knowing about a certain video if someone brought up Funky Town.

Since all of his expertise is faked, I suspect that if pressed for an explanation of how somebody trying to log into a remote system using his e-mail address (but without his password) would degrade performance on his local system, he'd just spew out some thoroughly meaningless Hollywood technobabble and be absolutely confident while doing it.

Jagex checks the email against his personal code cave stored in his regjagex file to verify against the windows password hash that confirms the email is his, causing the C (C stands for C, the language his dad invented for him to use as a toddler toy,) drive to stutter since the hash is 256 characters. 256 is a bigger number than 1 which is how many gigabit he has.


If he was as quick as he thinks, he should have just done what he does best and lie. Admitting it works over cell data just proves he's retarded.

 

[BigPeanut]

Yeah didn't idubbz say the same shit before crying in a therapy session in one of his content cops?

It's pretty common to bring 4chan up as a sort of internet baptism of fire, especially in the 2000s-2010s; the site was fucking disgusting. CP, gore, the novelty of saying niggerfaggot without being modded. But it's stale now.

Even hobby boards aren't safe, and those that are are so fucking committed to their board memes that anything against the grain goes to page 10. Wanna talk about Viconia in BG2 and how she's OP? Nope, ten Assassin Creed Shadow threads will fucking sink that thread.

4chan has been troons and browns for longer then it hasn’t at this point.

 

[Marty Robbins]

A lolrandom quirky chungus at my job asked if hotdogs are a sandwich or a taco the other day and it reminded me how much I hate this ferretfucker

 

[NortonAntiVirus]

In case he DFEs again

Bro also down 2k viewers since the bot crackdown kekw, 5.5k to 3.3k (which still seems like a huge amount when you look at his chat.)

 

[boing boing]

I'm not dead, or a pussy, or a dead pussy (only like half-dead). I did say I wouldn't shit up the thread unless I had anything of interest to add, so here I am. (And I have puzzle pieces I'm due to collect.)

Yes, I am continuing to speak for an actual group of people who refuse to post anywhere, and I will continue to protect their identities. That much is true. Am I Cynthia Hall/Aludiana/Mina, OF whore, Senior Kek Team Specialist who found real vulnerabilities in slots because GAME DEV HARD, actual writer that probably has Maldy malding in itself because he somehow found a way to write slower than GRRM? Someone pls put THAT on his achievement board.

I can only tap the side of my nose with my finger and point at you. My lawyer wants you to know I am an autistic doge on the Internet providing entertainment and nothing more.

I am aware that posting here is borderline cowtipping since he clearly takes any bait put forth, so please forgive it, kiwi brethren.

Spoiler: Unbothered

Hi, Jason.
Everyone is coming out of the woodwork just to dunk on your ass.
You pissed off more people than even I was aware of until now.
I guess you actually did accomplish something at Blizzard, eh?

I have no desire to continue engaging with the creature, but I'll do my best to fact check that ass as it's relevant until someone else decides to go through second puberty and step up. There's a higher likelihood of people talking to me about him on my socials and streams to whatever end. I have no idea who the Dapper Devil dude is, for example, but he was a reply guy who popped up in my notifications, confirmed my bias, and is pissing Jason off if what he's saying has any truth to it. I'm happy to engage with that sort of pleasantry with pleasantry in kind if Mald rage slop is a potential biproduct. See, I'm an engineer too.

I was asked for the Quintheo interview and agreed. I offered to also cover the Hype Train TOS since I felt it was important to de-escalate that as it had just happened (imo, the ferret non-charity and maybe house zoning issues if the quantity of ferrets is too high is the real lede here, and doesn't the IRS offer a cut for reporting tax fraud? Not that I would ever suggest doing that, so don't). The interview was done because I wanted to help one of the top milkers of this subject profit off the roach's back the way he made his millions off ours (BQA). My own streams and things are for the same reason--if anyone wants to use it for slop filler, slop away. Game is game.

I believe that is the best justice to ask for, seeing the smaller guys rise up while shitgnome plummets, which is why I do not give one shred of fuck about any of this outside of its ongoing entertainment value. I love seeing the slop farmers tend their slop crops. I don't care what people think about ExPoSiNg HiS PrIvAtE hOmE LiFe. He agreed to keep every common area of my apartment (including bathroom) clean for visitors before he moved in. That sort of commentary seems more like self-identification of asmontypal cumwallian shitcritters (lol Tectone) than a critique of me and my absent morality (OF-HAVER! *clutches pearls *).

I'm not and never was MATI. This was never about a <$100 chair or cumwall. I wanted to testify to the character I saw both in and outside of work, how he treated someone he lived with and wasn't otherwise involved with, how he behaved in even the most trivial of gaming scenarios. I said nothing beyond what the majority already saw for themselves over several months. The fact that his Discord Karens are screeching about defamation and what-have-you is wild. Are they blind to the ferret piss staring back through the screen? My one regret is not being a petty enough bitch to put the two-months-later pre-cleanup photos for the manager into cloud storage just in case the day ever came that some alphabet person on the Internet demanded PROOF OF CUMWALL. Does anyone really want proof of cumwall? Are we horrorcow now, officially?

Also that overlooked bit: my statement and the chat timestamps showing he moved out late DECEMBER. I confronted him 2-3 weeks in, and he got out of there the FOLLOWING month (more than a month later). I'm not sitting here saying the place was left as shown in the photos you have seen (the photos are only starting to show concerns). Compound that literal shit and filth by 8 or so weeks and add the fury of a Jason scorned upon the bedroom walls.

I wish more people would come forward to talk about this guy, like his friends that even I knew about from those days--not to necessarily defend him outright, but to provide another angle for discussion. This guy DID have friends. My bf also knew Nicole, and we BOTH wish she'd come out and pigroast this cheating ass for all he's worth. I'm actually shocked that she hasn't popped off, but she doesn't really have that kind of personality. I have my eyes open on every social media feed. I've found all of one comment from a somewhat verifiable coworker on YouTube. I know he had to have done quality work on other teams, too, but to what degree? What sort of work?

I baited his ass into posting those cards because I knew that there could be nothing of value on them. I knew he couldn't NOT post them if challenged to do it as proof of work, and he knows that his glazers won't ever understand that NO EXCEPTIONAL WORK IS ON THEM. I don't know if he even understands that. Any actual engineer or security specialist can see that the cards mention the most basic duties and nothing more, not even outstanding ass-pats or anything outside of his role. I wanted more concrete evidence of a history of underwhelming work for those already aware that this guy is full of shit, and there you have it.

Did more fanboys (like that one OMG IT'S YOUUUU compliment card stated) assign and review his work on other teams? Did no one know any better about what Jason was presenting as facts and "completed work" so they glazed his ass whenever he did anything at all? I don't have these answers because my ties cut when the tumor was aborted. I only remained civil (the BlizzCon photo on Twitter was taken DURING the apartment bullshit) since we had to work together to an unknown degree in the future as QA went, but only that far.

That photo? My press friend came up to ME, the lolfamous cosplayer he'd been friends with for 500 years, and asked for a photo with me--NOT Maldavius Figtree of the House Shitgnomeyen, the First of the Second Generation, the Unbathed, King of the Roaches and the Twitch Mods and the Furfags, Coomleesi of the Great Cat Snakes, Breaker of Trains, and Mother of Baggins. Press friend saw the coworker friends I was chatting with, one being the D3 "barb" temp texture meme (in front), and said he wanted them in the picture, too. JASON SAW THIS HAPPENING AND INVITED HIMSELF TO JOIN IN. HE WAS NOT EVEN A PART OF THIS SOCIAL GROUP LET ALONE THE CONVERSATION. I AM HUNCHED OVER TOWARD FRIENDS AND CRINGING A BIT FOR A REASON.




BTW, for those wondering and disappointed, Quintheo was explicitly asked to not say anything about KF to avoid any potential lolcow "legal" issues made through identifiable connections (obviously Jason was already up his entire ass like a shitgnome in heat, and I want to guard against YT strikes to preserve source content and keep it in the recommendations algorithm as much as humanly possible). He chose to not use the photos during the interview or on his wrap-up streams. It's a shame, really. With all the doxing shit going down, it's better to not risk a privacy strike with his channel blowing up this hard. Sorry, shitgnome. I failed you again.

A few replies then some receipts. I don't see the receipts archived. If I missed something buried in a spoiler, I beg jannies' pardon. Additional context added regardless.

Shaving foam does it too. If only @boing boing took swab samples. Archive everything.

I'm sorry. I had one job and still fucked it. They did a full reno after I moved out, but I bet there is still some Thor-ade in the bathroom subfloor (there was a gap between tub and lino) since he never put the shower curtain in after 2 months. Anyone in the area for a quick recon? I'm kidding. Don't do this.

@boing boing Let's hope he doesn't lash out so you don't have to tardwrangle him again after this.

The only notable sperging has been from that furfag dick "artist" on Twitter archived earlier in the thread and similar ilk. Things are taking care of themselves for the most part, fellow tardwranglers tardwranglin'.

Jason has some BTC at 34zDcJftTVo2XFs6y1HwrhpLFDNncqukTa, around $140k worth, left untouched since 2018...

He should have more than that since he talked about it in 2011, unless he again wildly inflated what he actually had at the time.

Here she is discussing that once she "understood these games work on an algorithm and not RNG" she found some "quirks"

True and honest slot hacks.

Spoiler: QA ain't shit

Idiot slot game devs program bonus indicators that actually aren't random, then recycle code in other games with different visuals but similarly metered systems. They rely on Maldavius Figtrees to do automation tests for the bulk of their QA to guarantee metrics and tamper-proof design, from what I can gather. Find correct states during safe periods on the Advantage X (IGT) algorithm for higher payout potential and, well...Jason Thor Hall could NEVER hack his way through a slot machine. I'm not about to instruct him in this thread so he can make money when he crashes and burns. There are obvious tells on several games. I play the same cluster of games for a reason.

The following sperg is for my credibility as a former actual titled Blizzard QA Specialist, for those who are interested in the game dev side of this (I see you in here). There is very little public documentation on these systems, so the R&D budget has been house jackpot money.

Advantage X is the network platform controller for things like tickets and player loyalty, but it also handles the backend shit like jackpots and bonuses. None of that is purely RNG-based or handled independently per slot machine. The system works such that slot companies guarantee "longterm RTP" over months/years, but their engineers implement overall payouts algorithmically based on daily and weekly earnings per machine. It's less pure RNG, and more shifting weights on "buckets" of types of line configs/bonuses. If a machine isn't earning enough on a certain bet level or if it needs to save money for other payouts (progressives), the backend will basically shut down features to rarely hit on anything but minimum bets on every denom, and if they do hit, they will be at minimum pays. Worst of all, they can do this at GAME-LEVEL, not just machine-level.

The good news is that the algorithm includes an aspect of "dumping" funds to guarantee that RTP rate. They are seemingly doing this daily in most casinos so that when people do higher bets, the machines are now more likely to go into a hold instead of a sudden dump pattern with a hold on low bets to compensate. If the machines hold payouts on lower bets, which are now the overwhelming majority in the recession with Vegas tourism at an all-time low, people will stop gambling because they won't be hitting bonuses or seeing significant line hits. Gambling is all math and psychology.

If the machine has been holding all day, it typically has to pay out at the end of the night. Ends of the night are usually early morning after people will be going home from bars and clubs. They want drunk people to sit there and mindlessly pump money into the machines. It sounds obvious or like a logical fallacy to assume this, but that's what testing has indicated to be the case. You then just have to identify the available paying machines. Play the odds, go when there are the fewest people and highest chances of machines needing to pay out/not having bonuses locked, see if a machine will shit money in a few spins, move to another machine if it doesn't. It's diminishing returns to do this on higher bets, so you generally more than make your money back by staying on lower bets even with successive bad bonuses.

There are other fun factors, like multiple ways that bonuses can trigger that can be canceled by players by pure accident if they don't know any better. This is by design, justified by law because casinos are allowed to penalize any activity that can be seen as possible advantage play, and fast tappers can also be viewed as "trying to skill-stop the reels for a desired outcome" (impossible). Fast taps/quick spins/smashing buttons can sometimes skip bonus triggers during certain phases on certain games. Some triggers are luck has arrived (a proc on the spin itself), in the reels (the symbols will hit it), and after the conclusion of the spin (trigger chance, usually like filling a bonus bar or a coin flipping into a bag). Fast taps can skip the last type of bonus trigger, which applies to a surprisingly large number of slots. You can also be penalized based on use of a player card even though they aren't legally supposed to by exploiting the bonuses-are-not-normal-gameplay gray area. Using vouchers instead of putting cash directly into a machine can sometimes also matter depending on how the system is set up. It seems like the voucher system and cashing out after bigger wins matters less at larger casinos and more at small independents that will min-max and get away with as much fuckshit as they legally can.

Casinos tampering with gameplay is highly illegal. Even though I can prove it with my totally-not-exploits (Advantage X can fuck me at will and an exploit would have to be 100% repro), I can't report any of it to the gambling board because there is no monetary reward in doing so. IGT and casinos would just find other ways to cheat, and I prefer to make money by working around a known system rather than lose it when I do gamble.

If you generally want to win more:
- Peak hours to play for higher payouts are currently 2-5am Mon-Wed, non-holidays (hours after locals go home from the bars)
- Always put cash in a machine and cash out after significant wins (can try more spins with more cash)
- Never use a player card at smaller casinos
- Never use quick spins
- Only spin again after every animation stops playing
- Only do "common" bets (1-2x) in low and high limit for safety
- If you're not seeing frequent bonuses within 20-30 spins, try another machine or an entirely different game
- In general, the "all bonus meters full = ready to pop!" thing is a lie and it's usually the exact opposite to indicate active states

Gambling is a low bet, supplementary income sort of thing for me to avoid tax forms on handpays. The gimmicks are teachable and work for more than me, but you can't greed with it due to recession tuning. Can't be like the last girl I showed who is now in I don't know how much gambling debt, at least $30,000 that we know of. It worked so well that she decided to smash max bet, kept going to high limit slots, kept borrowing money to chase losses, and ignored protocols. Don't be a fucking retard.

PS means Platform Services, it's in reference to the qa team responsible to Battle.net i believe when they were transitioning into the enforcement of their shitty store from the super simple game specific launchers

Platform Services is the entire QA department, including Battle.Net QA.

I had to get the two images side by side, lol. Cynthia's card (left) and Jason's (right).

Either they are written by the same person, or management at Blizzard has standardized language for this kind of happy, clappy bullshit. Probably both.

Rehyl (the QA manager in the stream chat below) said that it was 4 QA managers who wrote these out for all participants according to a script. The charity event was more than a League tournament, easily 40+ people. My manager didn't write mine, and that's why our names aren't on those cards.

Cynthia said a lot of Blizzard employees got offers because Amazon was trying to poach talent and Blizzard paid relatively poorly with no upward mobility, having a culture of "If you want a raise, work somewhere else and apply for the position with the pay you want." She also went to work for Amazon after Blizzard.

Amazon offered double the pay for half the work, even confirmed by Jason on past streams. I left Blizzard for Curse to move from games to tech, which was acquired by Twitch (under Amazon) a year later. Fun fact: a lot of my "higher up" friendos left the company in 2015-16. Mike Morhaime was due to retire. Not sure who knew what, but the first ever mass layoffs at Blizzard happened right after Mike retired and JAB took over.


New Shit

Spoiler: Jason's ACTUAL Manager Talks About Reporting Him In Aludiana's Twitch Stream Chat

Jason's ACTUAL Manager Talks About Reporting Him In Aludiana's Twitch Stream Chat

https://preservetube.com/watch?v=w4XW6xXe_MM
To avoid doxing this individual, "Rehyl" was a manager I knew since my first year at Blizzard. He (hilariously enough) assisted with the Extra Life events and also apparently inherited the Grimoire/yearbook project. This was one of Jason's MANY managers in QA, and one who also tried to report him for performance issues. I didn't know until my stream that he was basically told what I was when he went to upper management. He also talks about the overall workplace and everything he had to deal with in QA as a manager.

Spoiler: Coworker Found in Tectone's Comments

Coworker Found in Tectone's Comments



This is the kind of thing I've been wanting to see: coworkers willing to speak positively about Jason Thor Hall. I can't confirm anything about the username, but the champs and series of events are correct. I wasn't close enough to this person at the time to know the validity of the work statement, so take it or leave it. I have said that he did the work he wanted to do, and that qualifies. I don't dispute anything in this comment or see it as a contradiction to anything I've said.

I can confirm that when the yelling started, so did the throws.

Spoiler: I Didn't Know Jason Was a Seattle Socialite

I Didn't Know Jason Was a Seattle Socialite

This is a DM on Instagram from a friend who isn't a streamer, but is involved in the greater broadcasting community in Seattle. He's also an engineer who could sniff this guy out if given the time, so I'm not surprised that Jason ended up fucking off. Still interesting that Jason abandoned all his "fwiends" right around the time he suddenly didn't need a network of creators to support his content.

Higher Res Deboonking

Spoiler: description

Crop of the yearbook/PS Platform Services Grimoire of Cynthia Hall and Jason Hall in 2013 as shown on the Quintheo YouTube Hype Train Twitch TOS interview

The "Blizzard Awards" Receipts Fact-Checked

Spoiler: Cynthia Hall's Achievement Board and Cards

Spoiler: archive links and description

https://archive.is/CrZ8E
https://archive.is/13y4U
https://archive.is/rPnhT
https://archive.is/QRfyx
https://archive.is/eQsOu
https://archive.is/LaX9Z
Is there a better way to archive Shitter threads? fuck

This content is also covered more in-depth in the 5-hour stream.

Aludiana/Mina/Cynthia Hall shows that Jason Thor Hall is full of shit about his "award" receipts with her own achievements board and cards. The Core Value Cards are basically representative of a normal team stand-up moment where someone thanks you for something you did or participated in, and the card is then given to you to represent it. The cards are purely motivational for recognition because QA felt they weren't being seen for what they achieved outside of promotion cycles. The achievement boards were something everyone on the QA floor had from their first week in training and were expected to flesh out. Managers encouraged their reports to participate in menial activities like the ones you see on Jason's board (ex. presenting to a training class). The Blue Label "award" was a "ship gift" given to multiple support teams for Heroes of the Dorm, an example of something that commonly happened at Blizzard. We got two bottles of I-can't-remember-what in SC2 QA for Heart of the Swarm. He basically kept the box from a gift that was given to a whole team, one box of several similar gifts given to multiple teams for the same purpose, and is now claiming it to be his solo award for excellence of some undiscernible kind.

Will return if anything pertinent arises, or if I need to do another bulk quote reply for some godawful reason. If I don't reply to you, I probably can't reply with anything that would add to the thread.

RIP KingCobraJFS. I hope you're throwing back your favorite drink concoctions up there with the Prince of Darkness.

 

[MaxRankBlizzard]

Is there a targeted attack on Jason's OSRS or is he making shit up and playing the victim again ?

 

[NortonAntiVirus]

Is there a targeted attack on Jason's OSRS or is he making shit up and playing the victim again ?

Who knows or cares lmao.

cowtipping

It is, but its also really funny. Bro does give off cum wall vibes, he's so high on his own fumes he might even smell his own farts.

 

[Hit Squad]

Is there a targeted attack on Jason's OSRS or is he making shit up and playing the victim again ?

More than likely playing victim; one of his discord mods stated that after the stream finished their was a power outage on Maldo's end that shut everything down. His prior connection issues were likely due to that and not some 'attack'... unless his trolls have access to the power grid. Which is also quite a funny thought given what Jason claimed to be in the past.

The gay and racist show have released some coverage of the OSRS Arc:

 

[tarzor]

gay and rasict show have released some coverage

hey they shout out my lil timelapse at 2:00:45, yay

 

[fleacollerindustry]

he may manage to dodge lolcow of the year

knock on wood he still has milk left to squeeze

Also: