/horror/ general megathread - Let's talk about movies and shit.

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Vampirella said:
There are some Masters of Horror that I love and then there are some that I think to myself "What the fuck is this shit bug girl lesbians, fucking deviant art shit isn't horror. Also fuck that one where the guy shared thoughts or whatever with a random chick."

If I took all of those series and listed out the number of episodes I like vs the number I skip Masters of Horror would have the most that I skip. Some are really good some are awful, some are a girl trying to get an abortion because her religious dad thinks the baby is Jesus when it's really a demon baby and the demon dad cries when his baby dies. I only saw that once and it never left me god damn.
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Masters of Horror gave us that one chick from Stargate with the enormous fucking knockers nude in a hot tub. For that, I will never shit on it.

It we're ranking anthologies, my personal list is going to be:
1) OG Twilight Zone
2) 90s Outer Limits
3) Tales from the Darkside
4) Monsters
5) Tales from the Crypt
6) Are You Afraid of the Dark?
7) Night Visions (particularly the Luke Perry and Bill Pullman episodes)
8 ) Masters of Horror

I'm not sure if they count, because they have persistent casts, but honorable mentions to "Eerie, Indiana" and "Friday the 13th: the Series."
 
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BrunoMattei said:
https://youtube.com/watch?v=WrjwaqZfjIY
Tales from the Crypt, Outer Limits, Twilight Zone, Night Gallery shit all over Masters of Horror.
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I’m glad you think I am wrong because it has started discussion. I agree with you in terms of quality, but in terms of nostalgia, I come back to MoH most frequently.

Sneaking out of my bedroom late at night to watch whatever horror was on premium cable such a memorable childhood experience of mine. MoH was usually what was on then. That, and the likes of Cabin Fever, Hostel, Saw, the rare dub from the New French Extremity like High Tension, etc. All that melodramatic gore slop that reflects the cultural nadir of the 2000s perfectly. No vision of the future, no state of the ideal past, just excesses of the body painful and pleasurable.
TV's Adam West said:
I remember really enjoying it as a kid, especially the cannibal in the police station episode. Didn't serj tankian also do the soundtrack?
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His song “Lie Lie Lie” is the opening song.
Vampirella said:
I only saw that once and it never left me god damn.
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Imprint is the one that’s stuck with me, but Cigarette Burns is my favorite.
 
Anyone seen Stay Alive?
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For some reason I liked it as a teen around the time of release and decided to revisit it. Basically a bunch of people start playing a mysterious horror game about Elizabeth Bathory and they get murdered when they die in it. The game itself makes absolutely no sense. 99% of the horror is shitty jumpscares of bad CGI creepy girls. Even Bathory herself is a really bad looking CGI woman instead of just someone in makeup, though they mix in an actress for some parts later. Not sure if it was just my copy but the quality between cameras would vary wildly from passing to terrible. I decided to track down the unrated cut but from what I can tell it just added in some terrible deleted scenes full of exposition. Thanks to one of the deleted scenes the cast enter the same creepy mansion twice for the first time, they really planned that out. The worst part is probably that the kills suck, They're pretty basic and it always cuts away so they didn't have to put the work in.
But it was all worth it for Frankie Muniz.
According to wikipedia it's now a cult film(no source given, the director gives me the impression of writing his own wikipedia articles) though personally I don't really see it, it was kind of amusing for me to revisit but I wouldn't exactly call it good bad movie. Still it's on archive.org if you want to check it out for some reason.
 
Kharash said:
Anyone seen Stay Alive?
View attachment 7651670
For some reason I liked it as a teen around the time of release and decided to revisit it. Basically a bunch of people start playing a mysterious horror game about Elizabeth Bathory and they get murdered when they die in it. The game itself makes absolutely no sense. 99% of the horror is shitty jumpscares of bad CGI creepy girls. Even Bathory herself is a really bad looking CGI woman instead of just someone in makeup, though they mix in an actress for some parts later. Not sure if it was just my copy but the quality between cameras would vary wildly from passing to terrible. I decided to track down the unrated cut but from what I can tell it just added in some terrible deleted scenes full of exposition. Thanks to one of the deleted scenes the cast enter the same creepy mansion twice for the first time, they really planned that out. The worst part is probably that the kills suck, They're pretty basic and it always cuts away so they didn't have to put the work in.
But it was all worth it for Frankie Muniz.
https://youtube.com/watch?v=tbilRxLbAX4:232According to wikipedia it's now a cult film(no source given, the director gives me the impression of writing his own wikipedia articles) though personally I don't really see it, it was kind of amusing for me to revisit but I wouldn't exactly call it good bad movie. Still it's on archive.org if you want to check it out for some reason.
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I only remember this because there was a dude I knew who was 'something' in the horror circles. He had a magazine and is still a somewhat prominent horror critic/journo. If you regularly go to conventions then you know who he is and we had mutual friends. Anyway, he got pissed at the "horror community" and we got into a pissing match because he honestly believed that horror fans need to go out and see every single horror film released in theaters no matter how bad it looked. Simply because it boosts the popularity of horror by that much. He was like "Why isn't the horror community supporting itself! HYPOCRITS!"

I could kind of see his point because -at the time- we were knee deep in PG-13 Japanese ghost girl American remakes. He was also a pompous ass and may have been the author of that Wiki article.

But yeah... Stay Alive. Shit film that is rightly forgotten.
 
Kharash said:
Anyone seen Stay Alive?
View attachment 7651670
For some reason I liked it as a teen around the time of release and decided to revisit it. Basically a bunch of people start playing a mysterious horror game about Elizabeth Bathory and they get murdered when they die in it. The game itself makes absolutely no sense. 99% of the horror is shitty jumpscares of bad CGI creepy girls. Even Bathory herself is a really bad looking CGI woman instead of just someone in makeup, though they mix in an actress for some parts later. Not sure if it was just my copy but the quality between cameras would vary wildly from passing to terrible. I decided to track down the unrated cut but from what I can tell it just added in some terrible deleted scenes full of exposition. Thanks to one of the deleted scenes the cast enter the same creepy mansion twice for the first time, they really planned that out. The worst part is probably that the kills suck, They're pretty basic and it always cuts away so they didn't have to put the work in.
But it was all worth it for Frankie Muniz.
https://youtube.com/watch?v=tbilRxLbAX4:232According to wikipedia it's now a cult film(no source given, the director gives me the impression of writing his own wikipedia articles) though personally I don't really see it, it was kind of amusing for me to revisit but I wouldn't exactly call it good bad movie. Still it's on archive.org if you want to check it out for some reason.
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Man, talk about 2000s slop. I am happy that the “evil video game” movie never took off. Between this one, Hellraiser: Hellworld, and that crappy X-Files episode, it’s good that it died so quickly. They all came off as lazy cash grab attempts by out-of-touch execs. Didn’t Netflix make a shitty evil video game movie recently?
 
"Stay Alive." Man, that early to mid 2000s run of slickly produced millenial horror movies was so cozy. Not a single one of them was remotely scary, but I could watch them on loop forever. "Darkness Falls" was my absolute favorite, but there were so many other "goods" ones: 13 GHOSTS, Dead Silence, Eight Legged Freaks, Wrong Turn, House of Wax... I could list a dozen more, at least. Might have to throw some of those on tonight.
 
PrettySneakyCis said:
"Darkness Falls" was my absolute favorite
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That movie pissed me off so much because the premise is actually solid but they fucked it all up. They didn't help themselves when they replaced the great Tooth Fairy design by Steve Wang with the utterly unremarkable burnt woman design. That said, it does have those early '00s horror movie vibes in spades, so I have watched it 4 or 5 times.
 
Calandrino said:
What I happened to think was pretty good, was Descent. But the sequel was very pointless.
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You might even say it was... Decent.
Fuck that stupid happy-ending-but-not-really-jumpscare they made them do. The original with her mindbroken in the cave was perfect.
 
PrettySneakyCis said:
You might even say it was... Decent.
Fuck that stupid happy-ending-but-not-really-jumpscare they made them do. The original with her mindbroken in the cave was perfect.
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I’ve always wanted to see a proper adaptation of The Descent novel by Jeff along. Totally different from the Neil Marshall movie, of course, more suitable for a TV series.
 
800 Chupacabras said:
I’ve always wanted to see a proper adaptation of The Descent novel by Jeff along. Totally different from the Neil Marshall movie, of course, more suitable for a TV series.
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TV writers seem so averse to anthology style shows. And producers see TV as the awkward cousin to "real cinema" so best we can hope for is a butchered two hour movie with a romance subplot.
 
800 Chupacabras said:
Midnight Mass is another one of those Netflix slops that bewilders me with its acclaim. Why does every character need to have a soliloquy? It was a boring slog for such a good concept.
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Everytime I saw the priest in the chair I died a little. I remember watching the Red Letter Media review and Jay gave the worse defense of those parts by sarcastically saying "oh no, there's a lot of dialogue" or something to that effect. It pisses me off even more when I think about that. That shit SUCKED.
 
I saw the new I Know What You Did Last Summer. It's alright. Another one of those. They actually do something here that the Scream franchise never had the balls to do, but I do feel like it's one of those things that's probably gonna anger some old fans, but I didn't care, personally.

They also do some shit like having a character drinking from a mug that says "Tears of the patriarchy". That oh so subtle Hollywood messaging.
 
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Gaear Grimsrud said:
I saw the new I Know What You Did Last Summer. It's alright. Another one of those. They actually do something here that the Scream franchise never had the balls to do, but I do feel like it's one of those things that's probably gonna anger some old fans, but I didn't care, personally.

They also do some shit like having a character drinking from a mug that says "Tears of the patriarchy". That oh so subtle Hollywood messaging.
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Does Jennifer Love Hewitt get stabbed in the tits?
 
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