💼 Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

[Tiresome]

Is this separate from the gig he allegedly lost due to making fun of The Mighty Ducks on air, since Disney made that movie and was also a sponsor of the station? Or is that just lies and cope he invented around this same firing?

Given that the former story reflects badly on Jack and the latter suits his Victimhood Complex perfectly and also makes little sense, you can bet which is which.

 

[Enig]

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I'm no professional chef, but when you're baking meat in an oven, isn't this nonsensical for instructions? Jack wants you to to pick a random oven temperature (he doesn't even suggest one) and then pop the tray out every, uh, few minutes or something to see the internal temp of the meat with a handheld thermometer. And then once it hits 160, you're supposed to add sauce and, as before, not cook it 5 more minutes, but 5 more degrees.

Also, this is a man who has been a "chef" for 30 years and says things like "Chicken thighs could take... 20 minutes... 30 minutes... I don't know." and "Watch it carefully if it's thighs. Chicken breast takes longer." even though chicken breast being virtually fat free means it's prone to turning out extremely dry if you don't watch it carefully. Of course, as someone who habitually undercooks meat, he may not have experience that outcome before.

His mind is melted enough now he is now visibly confusing words and making things worse by copying and pasting the already incorrect lines while being the video editor, he likely meant to say “minutes” but crossed multiple mental tracks and mixed it up with the cooking temperature.

 

[densedance]

@A Big Bumbling Black Man uploaded a very funny short video that summarizes Jack's seasoning skills very succinctly. If there ever is any question regarding as to his seasoning skills, simply view the attached material.

Edited for spelling.

I'm pretty sure I posted this already a while back, but it's just too good forgive me please.
1943750-5149e83b83779934608f049232420aaf.mp4

Every time I watch this guy, I am stunned at his lack of basic understanding of the fundamentals. This is a grown-ass man making food that the poorest of college students could do a better job at. I'd be mad if I wasn't so horrified. I mean fuck me, I don't expect him to become a top Chef in Switzerland for example. But how can you fuck up everything genuinely over all those years. It's like he is fully engaged in his narcisstic bubble he lives in.

 

[AnOminous]

Every time you look at this fucking idiot you should remember he is a stroked out goddamn retard and nothing he says is ever above the level of full retard.

 

[Pig Cups]

Each of Jack's catastrophic health problems results from continuing to eat like a Flintstones garbage disposal after his most recent catastrophic health problem, which resulted from continuing to eat like a garbage disposal after the previous one, etc.

Please stop disparaging my garbage disposal. It enjoys a steady diet of peelings, tops/bottoms, skins, and leaves from many fruits and vegetables.

Ergo, my garbage disposal has a *much* healthier diet than Jack. Show some respect.

It's why I expect him to "accidentally" sit on the baby.

I wonder what kind of excuses Jack would use when his family discovers the body and they (justifiably) lose their shit?

 

[northamericanape]

Is there a reason Jack has some shitty fundraiser attached to all of his videos for the past year? It's barely raised any money and he never talks about it.

 

[Pig Cups]

They'll sell, if he picks his markets right.

So…what you’re saying is that he won’t sell a single one?

Otis was Connie's second husband, their stepfather, who could be seen pushing her wheelchair in the supermarket in a very early Jack episode. (Every time I reference this episode, I can't find the link!)

Here you go. Just the short interaction that Jack has with her leads me to believe that Jim was being 100% truthful in his anecdotes about her.

 

[Super Hans v2]

Is there a reason Jack has some shitty fundraiser attached to all of his videos for the past year? It's barely raised any money and he never talks about it.

I've been waffling between it being a bullshit excuse for Jack to claim he's a good person and it being a IT'S TAX FREE BISH scheme that the IRS can't be fucked to sue him over.

 

[Doctor of Autism]

I've been waffling between it being a bullshit excuse for Jack to claim he's a good person and it being a IT'S TAX FREE BISH scheme that the IRS can't be fucked to sue him over.

I think it's more likely for tax evasion since if he wanted to show how good of a person he is, he'd constantly bring it up since Jack always likes to emphasize how good of a guy he is

 

[Shartavius]

Is there a reason Jack has some shitty fundraiser attached to all of his videos for the past year?

Altruism, generosity, or even basic acts of empathy are things Jack exclusively feigns in the course of pretending he has celebrity to spare (rather than admit that all he's known for is being a stupid asshole who deals with messing his drawers by going back to sleep).

Jack insists on contriving these humiliatingly public dick-measuring contests for himself in which the obvious lack of engagement we see reflected in capital or views raised for anything he promotes or otherwise attaches himself to serves to demonstrate that the entirety of his audience is comprised of people who derive entertainment only from various qualities of disgust he manages to excite within them.

Of course, Jack will never admit that he has nothing to show for people only bothering to watch him in the remote hope that he'll somehow continue uploading to UTOOB from within a boiling pot of shit in hell. He instead paints the only viewers willing to engage with him as being thirteen year old Iraqi boys who get beat by their dads, then make-believes that the "rest" of his fans are, presumably, some kind of silent majority cheering him on via prayer.

It's barely raised any money and he never talks about it.

Even two strokes ago, Jack's response to such narc injuries was "out of sight, out of mind." Nowadays, those remaining ounces of mashed bananas and blood that slosh around his cranial cavity and occasionally flicker with synaptic activity when BUDDUR STAKE is recognized aren't up to the task of helping Jack blame those fundraising failures on anyone but himself. So he just leaves the fundraiser notice attached to every new video, and leaves the recipe out of the description.

 

[the khat quaffer]

Given Jack's taste in music I want to imagine that the nightclub where these people want to dance and rave had to hear this fucking baby music

https://youtube.com/watch?v=2kSN6kfCGtY

I want him to do a JotG livestream of Brianna giving birth with this music as the intro.

So…what you’re saying is that he won’t sell a single one?

Upon reflection I think he would never part with these albums.

Important to note Jack can work a tablet but can't work a broom, mop or (do) dishes because he killed one of his arms through gluttony and sloth.

Technically he can't work a tablet or a phone either, because he needs AI to do everything for him. Everything he uploads is a repost or AI slop. His thumbnails, his video descriptions, his twitter shitposts. Games are out of the question too, unless it's a board game like chess or something.

...hahahahaha.

 

[Tiresome]

Upon reflection I think he would never part with these albums.

Jokes aside, I guarantee you all his vinyl has been stored in the garage next to the moldering sauces through several oven-like Orange County and then steamy Tennessee summers and is thus now warped and useless, but Jack would list his Eagles Greatest Hits Vol 2 as EXTREMELY RARE 11.5/10 Ultra-Mint Condition Personally Signed by YouTube Mega-Star COLLECTOR'S HEIRLOOM and charge $449.95 a pop.

 

[Soggy stone fruit]

Hey Jack. Can you please post a health and weight update? It has been a while since the last one, and you look so healthy now.

 

[._.]

I love to laugh at this dummy constantly bringing that line out like it's some sort of profundity. "Apple Intelligence actually ISNT!!!' Get it trademarked, Jack.

And hes in a class action lawsuit against Apple. Did Carolyn send him the link to get in along with the gold scammer deal? He doesnt have anything to do (cant do anything) but bitch.

 

[Falcon Sebben]

Jokes aside, I guarantee you all his vinyl has been stored in the garage next to the moldering sauces through several oven-like Orange County and then steamy Tennessee summers and is thus now warped and useless, but Jack would list his Eagles Greatest Hits Vol 2 as EXTREMELY RARE 11.5/10 Ultra-Mint Condition Personally Signed by YouTube Mega-Star COLLECTOR'S HEIRLOOM and charge $449.95 a pop.

NO HAGGLE!

 

[Quixotic Man]

What the fuck is the distribution of that smoked Paprika?

View attachment 7567302

Jack has ALWAYS done this, even when he had two functioning arms.

Dude just refuses to actually rub in seasoning 90% of the time. Or bothering to control distribution, for that matter.

 

[the khat quaffer]

Jack would list his Eagles Greatest Hits Vol 2 as EXTREMELY RARE 11.5/10 Ultra-Mint Condition

Extremely rare, just like his meatz. And arm.

The only way they would be mint condition is if he had some kinda mint flavored sauces in the garage.

Hey Jack. Can you please post a health and weight update? It has been a while since the last one, and you look so healthy now.

He's healthy as a fuckin' rhino. Weighs as much too.

 

[Doctor of Autism]

Jack talks vidya



Jack malds that Elon isn't supporting Trump's bill



Advice



As someone who watched Squid Game, not a surprise that Jack loves the season that has games that are not korean-based, killed the LGBT characters, and made the morality more simple with a "happy ending"



Jack trying to get on MrBeast's coattails





No comment



Malding



But Jack how will I know if F1 is safe for the whole family?



But Jack loves KPop now (bet he's gonna call this christian for killing demons)



Religion

 

[Spasticus Autisticus]

Jack has given an interview to some random podcast. It's over 2.5 hours long so it's not feasible to upload an archive here.

https://www.youtube.com/live/1pSaU_PN5HM

 

[the khat quaffer]

As someone who watched Squid Game, not a surprise that Jack loves the season that has games that are not korean-based, killed the LGBT characters, and made the morality more simple with a "happy ending"

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I always pictured Jack as a kind of George HW situation where he vomits if he sees an Asian person.

Jack talks vidya

View attachment 7581853

Jack you monkey-heart mush-brained idiot, XBOX is fucking dead. They've been in dead last since losing the PS4 war and they are not going to come out of third place ever. Nothing short of the miracle of the century will change that. I wouldn't be remotely surprised if MS drops out of the console wars in one or two generations, unless they're happy hemorrhaging money.