Mass Effect Andromeda: Shitstorm Edition - RIP Biowear

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So remember when I brought up how Bioware's handling of ME: Andromeda reminded me of what happened with the Command and Conquer franchise?

Turns out I didn't have the full details. Bioware was responsible for that shit too:



The aftermath of this would be C&C4, which killd the franchise.

Bioware's involvement with Generals 2 basically was foreshadowing for what would happen with Andromeda.
C&C4 came out March 16th, 2010. This is incorrect info.
 
I'm surprised it keeps delivering


Sort of lends credence to the hypothesis that this ark ship was actually about getting rid of people, since you have people who will never have children, either due to autism, sitting around talking about gender pronouns all day, or being transexuals, I'm sure even the people that seem normal probably carry terrible genetic diseases too. (Like Manlet-ism)

The Pathfinder is chosen by lineage instead of experience, training, or merit.

The ships computer didn't tell the occupants they were about to ram into an energy field.

It's the Death Ark.

Chris Chan is frozen somewhere on that ship.
 
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Remember that part of ME1, 2, and 3 where it was established lore that Asari don't care about or really use gender pronouns because they're a unisexual species? Or how in ME2 Aria called her krogan predecessor she usurped the "Patriarch" as a joke since the word didn't exist for Asari?

Yeah, retcons in the name of social justice and virtue signaling are fucking great; nobody minds when such trivial things like lore get replaced for reasons like that.
 
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Remember that part of ME1, 2, and 3 where it was established lore than Asari don't care about or really use gender pronouns because they're a unisexual species? Or how in ME2 Aria called her krogan predecessor she usurped the "Patriarch" as a joke since the word didn't exist for Asari?

Yeah, retcons in the name of social justice and virtue signaling are fucking great; nobody minds when such trivial things like lore get replaced for reasons like that.

It would be hilarious if one of the new races equated asari's "feminine traits" with the masculine ones of their species (like let's say their males had higher voices &/or were smaller than their females) and got in a shit fight with the Council races about using "he" or "she" while the Asari were all like 'lol no 1 curr."

since you have people who will never have children, either due to autism, sitting around talking about gender pronouns all day, or being transexuals

I always assumed the ME universe wouldn't have trannies because they'd have the tech to either detect it in utero and correct their sex or that trannies would be indistinguishable from cis people because technology.

Also because it's a goddamn space adventure
 
I still can't get over how bad their launch window ended up being. You have at least two scifi open world games with better writing/premises coming out within two weeks of it; and a fucking Zelda game; and a Persona game on the day they said they'll come forward with their plans to fix things.
 
I still can't get over how bad their launch window ended up being. You have at least two scifi open world games with better writing/premises coming out within two weeks of it; and a fucking Zelda game; and a Persona game on the day they said they'll come forward with their plans to fix things.

This sort of stuff makes me wonder if Andromeda wasn't suicide but murder -- EA trying to squeeze out whatever cash they can while putting the franchise out of its misery in one stroke.
 
This sort of stuff makes me wonder if Andromeda wasn't suicide but murder -- EA trying to squeeze out whatever cash they can while putting the franchise out of its misery in one stroke.

Arguably it would've been a better idea to take the multiplayer idea from ME3 and spin it off into it's own franchise. It would probably get more sales as "Call of Duty in SPAAACE" and you could give playable characters some minor backstory so the autists could run wild with their head canon stories. But it's not like the bean counters at Publishers think about those sorts of things.

massfect4.jpg
 
I still can't get over how bad their launch window ended up being. You have at least two scifi open world games with better writing/premises coming out within two weeks of it; and a fucking Zelda game; and a Persona game on the day they said they'll come forward with their plans to fix things.

Keep in mind this is the same company which decided to release Mirror's Edge Catalyst a week before E3, and sandwiched Titanfall 2 right in the week between Battlefield 1 and COD: Fucking Robots in Fucking Space. Granted, Battlefield 1 is another EA title, but it obviously was a bigger game market than Titanfall had, and to release them so closely together ESPECIALLY during the holiday season was incredibly exceptional.

Personally, I'm pretty certain at this point one the main reason ME:Andromeda is such a fucking joke is because EA rushed it out the door to hopefully off-set their losses in 2016. Whoops.
 
Keep in mind this is the same company which decided to release Mirror's Edge Catalyst a week before E3, and sandwiched Titanfall 2 right in the week between Battlefield 1 and COD: Fucking Robots in Fucking Space. Granted, Battlefield 1 is another EA title, but it obviously was a bigger game market than Titanfall had, and to release them so closely together ESPECIALLY during the holiday season was incredibly exceptional.

Personally, I'm pretty certain at this point one the main reason ME:Andromeda is such a fucking joke is because EA rushed it out the door to hopefully off-set their losses in 2016. Whoops.
I will never not be mad that EA killed Titanfall 2 before it even got much of a chance to live
 
So how did that 3 million copy sales goal work out for them?

I ask because I've been keeping tabs on Twitch viewership (a useful though imprecise metric for hype) since pre-release, and as far as I can tell the game never broke more than 30 - 40,000 concurrent viewers in the first two days when hype is always at its peak. That's hefty enough to put it on the front page (for scale, League, DOTA and CS:GO average 50,000 - 120,000 viewers when NA is awake and much higher during tourneys) but everybody rapidly lost interest (some not even finishing their runs) and the game's been reduced to barely 2,000 - 3,000 viewers (a fistful of smaller streamers) barely two weeks post-release. As of this post it's handily beat out by Runescape, Magic: The Gathering, Super Mario Maker and online poker.

Contrast BOTW, which hovered at 130 - 150,000 viewers for a straight week and only just now stays off the front page when a major streamer isn't playing. While steep declines are natural for single player games after the first week, Andromeda's focus on multiplayer makes its lame viewership an especially bad portent for EA's hopes.
 
So how did that 3 million copy sales goal work out for them?

I ask because I've been keeping tabs on Twitch viewership (a useful though imprecise metric for hype) since pre-release, and as far as I can tell the game never broke more than 30 - 40,000 concurrent viewers in the first two days when hype is always at its peak. That's hefty enough to put it on the front page (for scale, League, DOTA and CS:GO average 50,000 - 120,000 viewers when NA is awake and much higher during tourneys) but everybody rapidly lost interest (some not even finishing their runs) and the game's been reduced to barely 2,000 - 3,000 viewers (a fistful of smaller streamers) barely two weeks post-release. As of this post it's handily beat out by Runescape, Magic: The Gathering, Super Mario Maker and online poker.

Contrast BOTW, which hovered at 130 - 150,000 viewers for a straight week and only just now stays off the front page when a major streamer isn't playing. While steep declines are natural for single player games after the first week, Andromeda's focus on multiplayer makes its lame viewership an especially bad portent for EA's hopes.
Hell, and a lot of people were avoiding BotW videos and streams become they wanted to discover stuff on their own.
 
Or it was actually a case of shipping the undesirables to another galaxy on purpose.

Would be better if they did what Running with Scissors did in response to the dumpster fire that was Postal 3....
 
I'm surprised it keeps delivering
https://youtube.com/watch?v=RIQu1yROUo4
https://youtube.com/watch?v=sndUnqX04Qs
Sort of lends credence to the hypothesis that this ark ship was actually about getting rid of people, since you have people who will never have children, either due to autism, sitting around talking about gender pronouns all day, or being transexuals, I'm sure even the people that seem normal probably carry terrible genetic diseases too. (Like Manlet-ism)

The Pathfinder is chosen by lineage instead of experience, training, or merit.

The ships computer didn't tell the occupants they were about to ram into an energy field.

It's the Death Ark.

Chris Chan is frozen somewhere on that ship.

You just walk up to some stranger, ask then what brought them aboard and they out themselves like it's a common conversation topic. Just like tumblr. And they like talking about pronouns too. Just like tumblr.

Maybe you're right. Maybe people took one look at these snowflakes and decided "Let's eject them from the galaxy". I think they made a good call.
 
Some interesting stuff I found while people were talking about the current state of EA and the Industry.
View attachment 199530

View attachment 199531

I disagree it's headed for a crash. Not in the conventional sense. People have been predicting this for almost 20 years and it hasn't happened yet. There's a few big reasons it won't though.

First of all, we have a robust indie market right now. Sure, we have the shit-show of Greenlight, numerous Kickstarter fuck-ups, and the entire IGF clique that got the ball rolling on you-know-what in the first place, but we also have shit like Undertale, Slime Rancher, Dankmeme Dungeon, Salt and Sanctuary, Axiom Verge, Shantae: Half Genie Hero, the Ducktales remake, and fucking dozens of other rock-solid games that came out of nowhere and made something of themselves. We live in a world where fucking Mercenary Kings can exist, people.

Second of all, for every Ubisoft or Konami shitting the bed so hard it could damage the floorboards, you have a Capcom - a company that can fuck up repeatedly, but then still manage to do something awesome shit to win fans over like release Resident Evil 7 or give the green-light to proceed on an amazing Megaman X fangame that looks to be the most interesting thing to hit the franchise in almost a decade and a half. For every EA that is the franchise equivalent of a serial killer, you have a Wayforward trying desperately to keep niche titles alive. For every Nintendo censoring its own works, handing translations over to a group that will essentially 4kids it, and then going to monumentally dickish degrees to shut down fangames, you have groups like XSeed who will fight to the death to get its DLCs released for the western market despite licensing hell and will respond to critics of Senran Kagura thusly:

dcatyrM.jpg


There's enough good out there that it more than outweighs the bad.

Let the shit devs and the huge publishers that wouldn't know their ass from their elbow destroy themselves; they will not be missed, and the free market will find its customers anyway. No amount of pearl-clutching, temper tantrums, or attempts to undermine gaming as a whole are ever going to work. The market is the market, motherfuckers, and customers will buy what they want.
 
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