Consoomers / Consoomer Culture - Because if it has a recogniseable brand on it, I’d buy it!

[Barry Williams]

There's apparently this new video game collectibles company called FiGGYZ (currently locked to invite only so there's nothing to archive). It's either an imprint of First 4 Figures, or a spin-off company as the founder Alex Davis did work for First 4 and now he's in charge of Figgyz. (I'm not going to keep doing the retarded capitalization of the name.)

Here's Alex introducing us to his company dressed in the nicest T-shirt and most conspicuous lav mic he could find:

Interesting to note, that video is on the official Figgyz channel that currently has only 184 subscribers. The video itself has 760 views after 3 weeks, so it seems like organically nobody seems to give a shit. But I'm guessing the company is being propped up by First 4 who make their money selling (admittedly nice) collectible figurines for hundreds of dollars apiece. Rather than promote their own channel, they've instead been dumping lots of money into "influencers" to do their advertising for them.

Spoiler: Example videos (4)

Soytuber with a faggot mustache shilling magnetic video game art for 20 minutes.

Egirl thot with a heavily modulated sexy voice literally named "Kitty Rawr" shills for 9 minutes.

Cuck bearded Discord mod looking guy makes unironic soyfaces and verbally cooms while talking about Sonic the Hedgehog magnets for 16 minutes.

Bad Future Frankie Muniz talks about Sonic trash in front of an impressive Wall of Virginity.

All of these videos have links in their descriptions to sign up with their referral codes because you can't just go to the Figgyz website and buy these things when they come out. No, you have to be a registered member of Figgyz World, a whole ass social media platform based around these stupid video game magnets. Alex has been very active on this platform and you'll see him in the replies to literally every single post screenshotted here because he's really trying his best to astroturf this shit.

Spoiler: Lots of screenshots

What this person is talking about is that the Figgyz things are basically like those stupid Displate posters hawked by people on YouTube. You place a magnet with adhesive backing onto your wall and then stick the metal background things onto the magnet and the Figgyz on top of that. He's saying you can stack two backgrounds onto one magnet by putting half on it each onto two cards. This is stupid, and looks like shit. (He has some of them because he's one of the aforementioned "influencers" that Figgyz paid to shill.)


"We haven't shipped any product yet, but we're hard at work making plastic displays for your crap that will showcase your magnets with all the respect that a McDonald's Happy Meal advertisement has to offer."


Collector of things from a game that has zero merch laments wanting to get one of the "gold" chase variants of Shenmue. For clarification, the magnet itself is not gold. Just the background it attaches to (you can see the magnets in their packaging but not the backdrops). There are 10, because of course there's that delicious scarcity to drive sales. (10 is the commonly accepted estimate because they are making magnets is runs of 1,000 and only 1% of them will be gold variants, meaning just 10.) Also, whole the fuck talks like this? "I CAN'T WAIT TO SPEND MY MONEY" followed by attaching a slightly relevant GIF to the post like a low IQ nigger on Facebook.


No limit to the number of Figgyz you can purchase at once, so linking back to that "1%" scarcity" thing, expect scalpers to buy entire crates of this shit just so they can flip the one gold variant for a stupid amount of money to someone else even stupider who's willing to pay hundreds of dollars for a refrigerator magnet of Amy Rose that comes with a golden card.


I CAN'T WAIT TO CONSOOM LOOK I DREW MY STUPID GOOMBA-SONA AS A FIGGYZ MAGNET I'M SO EXCITED I COULD JUST KILL MYSELF RIGHT NOW


I forgot to mention, they're making a fucking APP for this horse shit, complete with in-game currency and microtransactions so you can waste all your money chasing the golden Kazooie and then spend whatever's left in your bank account on the digital golden Jinjo in your OFFICIAL FIGGYZ APP.


Only putting this here because as I scrolled past this post and saw Moomins my kneejerk reaction was "this was posted by a tranny". I clicked on "her" profile and sure enough, this retard put pronouns in the profile (the Figgyz website does not have a dedicated place for this info so the About section was used because these histrionic faggots will put their pronouns wherever they can). "She/they"? "Bisexual"? Nah, that's a fucking man and I was right. I am always right. Batting 1.000 here.


This guy is making videos about Figgyz too, however unlike the people in the spoiler earlier he's not getting paid to do it, he's doing it for free because he's just aping what he sees his fake ass influencer idols doing and hopes that by bandwagoning on this trash he can get views on his crap too. His videos have about 50 hits apiece, he's made two of them. I didn't bother watching. Still, Alex the owner is cheering him on because even videos with 50 views that he isn't paying a dime for is still free word of mouth advertising, and proof that niggercattle will repeat whatever people they perceive to be popular shove down their throats.


Kazooie is a straight up bitch who would call MLK a nigger to his fucking face if the feds didn't take him out first.

Anyways, despite the website having an air of exclusivity around it, you can sign up freely as long as you have a referral link from one of the aforementioned shills. There's really nothing of note here, I just found it really stupid that they are trying to make some kind of social media platform just for this one product. I didn't show any content from it, because there's really nothing of note there, but there's a TikTok-esque section called "Reels" that has a whole ONE video uploaded, and then the tab for "Watch" just filters out only the posts that have links to YouTube while "Media" filters out only posts that have a picture attached to them, so really they are not categories so much as they are automatic search refinements.

I'll check back once they release their magnets to see if there's any idiots flexing on getting a golden Mega Man or whatever.

 

[stupid frog]

Mtg cards would actually be super easy to counterfeit. Its funny how the company says their cardboard is some special thing no one has , made artisanal from unicorn threads in a shack in the himalayas but its just cardboard, you can google or go to a printer and find a dozen alternatives with similar grammage and finish. Turbospergs will claim they can instantly spot a fake but from personal experiences, they can't.

Trading is part of the fun of the hobby and for most cards it wouldn't be worth it to go the extra mile to make a replica but if they are so damn overpriced might as well. And if someone can slip a fake lotus or something like that to some youtuber speculator kike , that is super based, actually.

To tell if Pokemon card is real, you have to rip them in half lmao.

 

[Negev]

I understand the motivation behind playing slots as opposed to table games -- it's automatic, you just sit there and push a button over and over, and hope for a jackpot.

What I noticed is that a lot of people fall for the weird "I lost X amount of times so I am due to win" or some other cope about how they did a certain thing or a certain slot is "hot" so they think that they are going to win the huge jackpot or 100000x their bet if they just keep playing a couple more times. Someone I know was playing on an online gambling site and got mad at another friend who gambles because he won at a certain slot earlier that he was playing which to him meant that he couldn't win. I have no idea how they think any of this works but it seems very prevalent in people who like slots.

 

[Cuntspiracy Man]

What I noticed is that a lot of people fall for the weird "I lost X amount of times so I am due to win" or some other cope about how they did a certain thing or a certain slot is "hot" so they think that they are going to win the huge jackpot or 100000x there bet if they just keep playing a couple more times. Someone I know was playing on an online gambling site and got mad at another friend who gambles because he won at a certain slot earlier that he was playing which to him meant that he couldn't win. I have no idea how they think any of this works but it seems very prevalent in people who like slots.

This is both a fallacy, and completely true
On one hand, odds are just a prediction of something happening, they're not a guarantee, so people who don't understand this or rely on statistics too much may fall into thinking the more times you lose, the better your odds get- Which is a misunderstanding of the notion that the more times you PLAY, the better your odds ARE, they don't change after the play
Flip a coin three, four, five, six- times, and the odds of EACH time landing on heads gets smaller and smaller, but the previous flip doesn't change the next, the odds of the next flip is stil 50/50

HOWEVER- Gambling machines are rigged, and they ARE programmed to 'give out' a win every so often, the aforementioned fallacy only applies to natural organic odds, not a device programmed not to let you win if it already dispensed a win too recently
So no, it's not unreasonable in such an instance

 

[Barry Williams]

HOWEVER- Gambling machines are rigged, and they ARE programmed to 'give out' a win every so often, the aforementioned fallacy only applies to natural organic odds, not a device programmed not to let you win if it already dispensed a win too recently

An example of this is the Cyclone ticket game you commonly see at arcades. The one with the circle of lights and you're supposed to stop the light on the jackpot gate to win. The machine literally will not let you land on the jackpot space until the game has been played a certain number of times since the previous win, this is even given its own section in the manual.

Of course, this is low stakes shit where all you win are skeeball tickets, but it's proof that rigging like this absolutely exists and if they can do it to a Chuck E Cheese's game they can do it to a Vegas slot machine.

 

[greenthrowaway]

HOWEVER- Gambling machines are rigged, and they ARE programmed to 'give out' a win every so often, the aforementioned fallacy only applies to natural organic odds, not a device programmed not to let you win if it already dispensed a win too recently
So no, it's not unreasonable in such an instance

No, every spin of a slot except for fixed table slots which are made to skirt some laws are independent event driven. You are just as likely to win the jackpot the spin after the jackpot or before. It’s a random number generator that occurs when you hit spin. There isn’t rigging and it’s highly regulated. If a slot is set to 98% RTP you can be sure that over the slots lifetime after billions of spins it will have returned almost exactly 98% of its coin in to players

 

[moocow]

What I noticed is that a lot of people fall for the weird "I lost X amount of times so I am due to win" or some other cope about how they did a certain thing or a certain slot is "hot" so they think that they are going to win the huge jackpot or 100000x their bet if they just keep playing a couple more times. Someone I know was playing on an online gambling site and got mad at another friend who gambles because he won at a certain slot earlier that he was playing which to him meant that he couldn't win. I have no idea how they think any of this works but it seems very prevalent in people who like slots.

It's the same thing with roulette and craps. People think craps tables get "cold" and "hot" and bet accordingly, even though (unless you've got someone trying to set the dice and haven't been caught yet) it's random. The roulette tables all have those neat display boards that conveniently track the last 15-20 roll results too, and it encourages more betting even though the outcome is random each time.

If a slot is set to 98% RTP you can be sure that over the slots lifetime after billions of spins it will have returned almost exactly 98% of its coin in to players

They're definitely programmed to return their configured rate, but it's almost never 98% in casinos today. It's more like 80-85%. Slots are a fucking ripoff.

 

[Merton J. Dingle]

This might be one of the most stereotypical 2010s nerd culture images I've ever seen... Putting a children's character next to an out of context quote from a guy whose life work enacted real change, just to sell consoomer garbage.

 

[plastic Consumer]

I get a good laugh out of anti-capitalist/late stage capitalism videos and discussions when people are so damaged by consoomerism they have no acknowledgment of free will. You don't have to follow the psychological behavior a company wants you to, there is nothing stopping you from say buying an old android phone and keeping it for 10 years.

I know this post is from fucking 2 years ago but going through this thread to figure out when this place became plagued and I stumble across this infuriating comment.
Its infuriating because of how untrue it is, I had a phone for 10 years that I got for cheap because it was "discontinued" and guess what? They stopped manufacturing batteries for it, and because there wasn't mass demand for the batteries after 10 years, they stopped manufacturing third party batteries for the phone, and most phones are only designed to accept certain batteries obviously. Batteries have a limited shelf life too, meaning if its been 10 years since they stopped manufacturing then those old batteries being sold won't work. So you HAVE to buy a new fucking phone every so often now, or you can buy a "new" expensive shitty phone that is planned to break in other ways so you don't have to deal with the battery issue.
Its a pain in the fucking ass to buy anything that will last more than 2-3 years now, even if you shell out the extra money for something overpriced that shit is not guaranteed to last either. Everything is designed to break and because the masses who are COOONsOOOOMers dictate the market everything will stay like that and there are less and less products manufactured NOT to break after a few years.

 

[Head Muggle]

I know this post is from fucking 2 years ago but going through this thread to figure out when this place became plagued and I stumble across this infuriating comment.
Its infuriating because of how untrue it is, I had a phone for 10 years that I got for cheap because it was "discontinued" and guess what? They stopped manufacturing batteries for it, and because there wasn't mass demand for the batteries after 10 years, they stopped manufacturing third party batteries for the phone, and most phones are only designed to accept certain batteries obviously. Batteries have a limited shelf life too, meaning if its been 10 years since they stopped manufacturing then those old batteries being sold won't work. So you HAVE to buy a new fucking phone every so often now, or you can buy a "new" expensive shitty phone that is planned to break in other ways so you don't have to deal with the battery issue.
Its a pain in the fucking ass to buy anything that will last more than 2-3 years now, even if you shell out the extra money for something overpriced that shit is not guaranteed to last either. Everything is designed to break and because the masses who are COOONsOOOOMers dictate the market everything will stay like that and there are less and less products manufactured NOT to break after a few years.

Not only is everything designed to break by hardware but by software too.
The reason that made me upgrade my old Samsung S6 I had for seven years wasn't that it was running like garbage, I already got used to that.
It was because my bank's app stopped supporting that android version.

 

[glass_houses]

Everything is designed to break and because the masses who are COOONsOOOOMers dictate the market everything will stay like that and there are less and less products manufactured NOT to break after a few years.

This is completely untrue. The first light bulbs ever mass produced would last for literal decades, the manufacturers changed them because if a light bulb lasted ten years or more, they weren't making money. In the mid 90s, manufacturers started modifying things like refrigerators and washing machines so that they couldn't be repaired, only replaced. Right to repair has become a huge problem, manufacturers are doing everything they can to make sure that you can't repair your own shit. Hell, farmers aren't even allowed to fix their own machinery anymore, they have to pay thousands of dollars to get their combine harvesters towed 200km to the dealership. It's called programmed obsolescence. Look into it, it's a trip.

 

[Sleazy Car Salesman]

This is completely untrue. The first light bulbs ever mass produced would last for literal decades, the manufacturers changed them because if a light bulb lasted ten years or more, they weren't making money. In the mid 90s, manufacturers started modifying things like refrigerators and washing machines so that they couldn't be repaired, only replaced. Right to repair has become a huge problem, manufacturers are doing everything they can to make sure that you can't repair your own shit. Hell, farmers aren't even allowed to fix their own machinery anymore, they have to pay thousands of dollars to get their combine harvesters towed 200km to the dealership. It's called programmed obsolescence. Look into it, it's a trip.

John Deere lost that lawsuit.

 

[UnsufficentBoobage]

I had a phone for 10 years that I got for cheap because it was "discontinued" and guess what? They stopped manufacturing batteries for it, and because there wasn't mass demand for the batteries after 10 years, they stopped manufacturing third party batteries for the phone, and most phones are only designed to accept certain batteries obviously

I can still find baterries for my obscure-ass flip phone from 2006. Chargers (propriertary!), too. Even details. Somebody can not search for shit, eh?

 

[moocow]

I can still find baterries for my obscure-ass flip phone from 2006. Chargers (propriertary!), too. Even details. Somebody can not search for shit, eh?

Yeah? Maybe you can help him find some for his instead of being such a cheeky cunt about it, eh?

 

[whiterock]

Planned obsolescence is real but it’s not impossible to work around. Most old technology can be made to work, it’s software that’s the issue- I know someone who uses an iPhone SE from 2015. The software is kneecapped but the phone is perfectly functional. Two battery replacements at home, he’s good to go.
As for alternatives- Nothing phones have a good reputation, industrial smartphones (Sonim is good) are built to last and their reputation is hung on massive companies buying them in large quantities and demanding consistency.
It’s also worth pointing out that people use their phones in a way that makes frequent replacement convenient. In 2010 your phone was, mostly, a phone. The average iphone now is being cooked from the inside by shortform videos, usage upwards of 8 hours a day, playing online games, playing 4k video, filming, on and on. People use them constantly and are not inclined to wait around for a repair. Consumers and companies are enabling each other here.

 

[vomitusdeux]

Planned obsolescence is real but it’s not impossible to work around. Most old technology can be made to work, it’s software that’s the issue- I know someone who uses an iPhone SE from 2015. The software is kneecapped but the phone is perfectly functional. Two battery replacements at home, he’s good to go.

I still use my phone from 2019. I haven't updated the phone since 2020 and it runs like it's new unless you try to use a newer application. Why the fuck would I "upgrade" that? It works good and it's not all beat up from the protective case and screen. Battery life is still decent, I only have to charge it every day or two.

 

[Soso]

It’s also worth pointing out that people use their phones in a way that makes frequent replacement convenient. In 2010 your phone was, mostly, a phone. The average iphone now is being cooked from the inside by shortform videos, usage upwards of 8 hours a day, playing online games, playing 4k video, filming, on and on. People use them constantly and are not inclined to wait around for a repair. Consumers and companies are enabling each other here.

I never understood how some even buy yearly. I know there's phone plans, but they are some paying out of pocket to throw hundreds at the newest iphone. Always found it very ridiculous, when their old phone would be perfectly fine. One of my coworkers does this all the time, buying the newest iPhone the second hers "starts acting strange." and then bitches about how everything is expensive, before repeating the same thing.

I still use my phone from 2019. I haven't updated the phone since 2020 and it runs like it's new unless you try to use a newer application. Why the fuck would I "upgrade" that? It works good and it's not all beat up from the protective case and screen. Battery life is still decent, I only have to charge it every day or two.

I try not to spend much on my phones, sure I get some stares for using a Moto, or when I had a chink phone before the restrictions on them. I don't use my phones for much besides calling, texting, whatsapp and other messaging apps to contact international friends that I knew from university. Even when some Motorolas can be rather crappy with battery and updates, I still take care of mine, and if it does stop working, I can easily get another for cheap since I don't go for the expensive motorolas, or expensive smartphones in general.

 

[whiterock]

The smartphone maker’s ideal customer is a 30 y/o latina dental assistant with an LV purse. She cares about brand name and status, she’s new to money and wants to enjoy it, she’s willing to enter into payment plans, and she’s not tech savvy and prefers everything to work out of the box.
Every (major) phone is made according to this person’s taste. Phones are enormous because that’s what she can fit in her purse, the cameras are made for social media filming, and Apple can get away with it because she’s buying the phone so she can have a group chat with blue messages. Everyone else lives downstream from the middle class superconsumer and their tastes. (And their willingness to finance their shit- I have seen more and more examples of “starting at $39 a month” advertising instead of prices)
If the rest of us were as eager to repurchase as Rosely from Fresno, CA, phones would be made with audio jacks and buttons. But we aren’t. Whenever I see new tech slop that I don’t understand I try to think of a stereotype of its user and then it clicks.

 

[Metamorpho]

This Reeetard didn't get the reaction he expected when he told his wife he bought the Switch 2:

View attachment 7458910

Consoom product instead of helping out wife with chores

 

[Barry Williams]

The smartphone maker’s ideal customer is a 30 y/o latina dental assistant with an LV purse. She cares about brand name and status, she’s new to money and wants to enjoy it, she’s willing to enter into payment plans, and she’s not tech savvy and prefers everything to work out of the box.
Every (major) phone is made according to this person’s taste. Phones are enormous because that’s what she can fit in her purse, the cameras are made for social media filming, and Apple can get away with it because she’s buying the phone so she can have a group chat with blue messages. Everyone else lives downstream from the middle class superconsumer and their tastes. (And their willingness to finance their shit- I have seen more and more examples of “starting at $39 a month” advertising instead of prices)
If the rest of us were as eager to repurchase as Rosely from Fresno, CA, phones would be made with audio jacks and buttons. But we aren’t. Whenever I see new tech slop that I don’t understand I try to think of a stereotype of its user and then it clicks.

This post is so bang-on that reading it actually pissed me off, thanks.