God would not condemn anyone to hell from their birth. There is not one set timeline that God oversees, God has knowledge of every single path you can take at any single time, as well as knowledge of what will happen as the result of every single choice you make, but this doesn't mean that you can't make that choice of your own accord.
The Lord does not force himself on anyone and humbled himself to the point of death. Calvinism is an extremely misguided theological position which takes none of the above into consideration.
See this is the wordplay that goes on when discussing this. Yes, at the end of the day, God chooses to create a being that he knows will end up in Hell, for eternity. You can dance around this for as long as you want, but you just end up saying God isn't totally in control at some point.
This simple thing alone (Eternal Conscious Torment/ECT) is already an infinitely unjust act unless viewed through the lens of Calvinism, which says yes, God did do that, of course God did that, and thats a perfectly just thing to do to that particular soul. If you're saying God didn't do that, then you're also saying God isn't one or more of omnipotent or omniscient.
The problem is a perfectly loving God would never do that. Especially not a perfectly loving and forgiving one. So pick your poison. Are you going to disregard the vast majority of church teaching, doctrine, and history, and say universalism is the answer? (you probably should tbh, but the more traaaaaaaad churches will get very pissed at you for disagreeing with their doctrines) Are you going to disregard one or more foundational Christian concepts of divinity and say one or more attributes of God aren't really there or are limited? Is God not all loving/all forgiving? In which case you run into the raw unjustness of ECT.
I don't have this problem because I am not Christian - I don't see divinity the same way as you. To me, the Christian concepts of divinity and afterlife are very schizoid and dis-regulated. Typical of jewish concepts. But Christians who rag on Calvinists and call them demonic are straight up wrong. Its all endless beating around the bush of "nuh uh! My God would never do that!" when in fact, the foundations of Christianity depend on your God doing exactly that.