🐷 Ethan Ralph's Twitter / Tweets - A collection of thoughts, insights and musings from the internet's favorite gunted hobbit

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Will Ralph see Xander on November 15th?

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Uploading a video where you're strugling to even talk isn't going to help defend against those claims of cognitive decline, Ralph
welfare.webp

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>I have so many stories to tell
>I probably wont tell them all

He will barely say jack shit about Colombia, because fuck all happened.
 
The hat with Champion on it feels so ironic, it's almost genius.
Like a cat with a shirt that says Dog.
Mate, he is only wearing that hat because he is addicted to buying hats.

That's how much rizz we are dealing with here.
 
Uploading a video where you're strugling to even talk isn't going to help defend against those claims of cognitive decline, Ralph
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First 15 seconds and the pig is already sperging out about a literally who I never heard of
Yeah, I'm just going to skip the rest and assume you're felted, as usual, with a side order of being broke and scared as well
 
Did Ralph lose his top dentures in Tijuana? Sure looks like it in the video the way he holds his mouth and pitches his head and camera angle.

Being unable to get replacement dentures seems on brand as a reason Ralph isn’t already back to e-begging.
 
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Did Ralph lose his top dentures in Tijuana? Sure looks like it in the video the way he holds his mouth and pitches his head and camera angle.

Being unable to get replacement dentures seems on brand as a reason Ralph isn’t already back to e-begging.
"ACHSHUALLY! Denturesch isch mush better in Meckschiko!"
 
The "by God I wish I was suffering from mental decline" quote might be a top contender for his most unintentionally dark. He says "by God I wish I was drunk" whenever he's shittered so we know it's his way of admitting it. Something just feels morbid about him using that same language with cognitive decline. Especially because whenever it was brought up previously he'd be more firm with refuting it and back then it did seem like a stretch.

More grimdark; cognitive decline might be one of his better endings. He's pushing 40 and either hasn't had a check-up in years (optimistic) or he has gone to the doctor, gets lectured, gets prescribed painkillers that are meant to ease the pain while he gets his shit together, then just never gets his shit together and uses the pain pills to cope. He's talked about how easy it is to get Xanax in Mexico, Ralph doesn't like to get pressed or take accountability, so Mexico let's him get his Xannys without the guilt. The cognitive decline and possibly forgetting the shitty things he's done to himself and others might help him sleep at night, however many more he has.
 
So I know that EVS is that guy that cries about Eric July and can't make comic books or something. Yellow Flash is some guy that complains about wokeness in comic books and Disney and shit, right? These are two comic book nerds that Ralph is begging for attention from at the end of the day because Ralph will always be a big dork. The closest he ever got was getting invited to Gator's anime club.
All of them are Quartering variants.
 
Uploading a video where you're strugling to even talk isn't going to help defend against those claims of cognitive decline, Ralph
View attachment 7338610
qpx5wCcR1Vj13pwT.mp4
Archive
Come on ralph, pack it in, Little Xander only remembers you as the smelly old grandpa who shows up once or twice a year, and now that Faith is on social security, you won't be able to out spend her and Spite Mathew Vickers through spite-gifts.

The only way you can spite Mathew Vickers by making your spite-son remember you exist in his presence is to: Start IP2 style streaming, $5 shots, $1 TTS, $10 gunt slaps, walking around Mexico. You could literally make Several dozens of pesos per stream doing this.
 
I'm guessing that Ralph is not familiar with the savage beating that Hunter S Thompson got from the Hell's Angels after they got sick of his shit.
I doubt Ralph has actually read anything by Thompson or even seen the Fear and Loathing movie in its entirety. All EOR knows about HST comes from that MovieClips playlist on YouTube and the excerpt about Thompson’s drug routine that made rounds on social media a few years back.

It’s clear that Thompson was one of those rare guys with freakish genetics like Ozzy Osborne that are able to withstand massive substance abuse for decades. Ralph’s body, on the other hand, seems to handle alcohol and drugs worse than most. Nobody should live Thompson’s lifestyle, but Ralph is especially ill-suited to it.
 
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