💀 Horrorcow Nicholas Robert Rekieta / Rekieta "Law" / Actually Criminal / @NickRekieta / "u/Early-Leopard-8351" - Polysubstance abuser, child doser, dog killer. "Lawtube pope" turned zesty Dabbleverse Redditor streamer. Swinger "whitebread ass nigga" who snuffs animals and visits 🇯🇲 BBC resorts. Legally a cuckold. Still not over his ex Aaron. Wife's bod worth $50.

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Luna's expiration date is?

  • <1 year

    Votes: 157 22.5%

  • Around 2 years

    Votes: 277 39.7%

  • 3-5 years

    Votes: 94 13.5%

  • As long as a pug lives, Karen farmer.

    Votes: 169 24.2%
  • Total voters
    697
I'm hoping for something during this gay noncemania Aaron Imholte circlejerk.
int.webp

Vibralldo said:
Nick Rekieta is the greatest lolcow of all time

The compulsive lying and undying spite of Chris Chan
The sexual degeneracy of Destiny
The hot headed drug addiction of Ralph
The need to arrogantly argue online of Tomlinson
The unearned ego of DSP

He's a chimera
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Instead of gambling, he just dumps tens and thousands into worthless paintings.
He's better at Austin's own gimmick -- losing money. He lost an entire house and nearly 400k in a stupid lawsuit against Montagraph.
 
Outer Space Traveller said:
I don't care if someone says this is a woman - this to me is a troon, lol.

I can't wait for Entrapment-mania to happen so there will be arrests lol. Or at the very least, a lot of lulz.
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John Andrews Stan said:
She co-hosts WATP a lot under the name Lucy Tightbox. Apparently when she goes to Dabbleverse events she is mobbed by incels.

She is also only 50 pounds of weight loss away from being Nick’s type. I expect him to try to get with her in Vegas.
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More from the "Rekieta Chronicles" posthumously by the Rekieta Children and their Nanny

Nick brought Ape to Hackamania 2025 and without a hint of self-awareness, self-respect, understanding or irony he started bragging about how April got hot lesbian coke-raman action to a dozen other incels on Melton's single twin-XL mattress in a motel 6. Using the "my room, my rules" authority, Melton cut-off the hot-lesbian story for what they all came for: Did Nick actually see, touch and taste the fully, semi-erect flaccid "Toe" and what was it like? Melton dimmed the lights, lit a few candles, sprayed the remainder of the Off! repellant and stripped down to his tighty-whiteys. Melton fans with knowledge of other "Toe" events said the venue had perfectly captured the essence of "The Toe."

Nick thought he missed the Hot Lesbian Action after spending 90 minutes talking about Aaron's "Toe" while Melton moaned and played AI supertips to himself using Aaron's childrens voices. But the Ape felt sorry for Nick and let him lick Lucy Tightbox's goo drizzle off her chest.

After one of tighty-whitey incel fans reported seeing Lucy in the mens room, Nick confronted Ape about it. She confessed that Lucy was indeed a troon but she didn't tell Nick because 1) Nick was so into the goo eating like he was reliving a favorite memory and 2) "Lucy" brought cocaine for Ape. While it was true Lucy put coke on Ape's tits, she ommitted the part about using her dick to put the coke on her tits and in her mouth.

We learned of this b/c Nick's lawyer preemptively filed a goo cocaine vector information brief. Nick also caught AIDs. Nick's probation officer issued a warning and notes Nick doesn't need elaborate lies to hid his troon dick-sucking experiences.
 
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Lurking9e9 said:
Look at this fucking nerd, can he at least put on some fresh clothes?
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No wonder his kids are going around wearing the same dirty clothes for days at a time. This strung-out faggot can't even clothe and bathe himself, let alone his fucking family. I legitimately can't understand how someone can live like this and not immediately kill themself.
 
Sneed Force One said:
Nick wants to imply that he made Ramen at 4am this morning as he was having sex with his wife, so they got hungry.
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This never happens to anyone ever. Who wants to have sex at 4am in the morning? Most people "do it" in the morning proper (like 9am) or before bed.
They were dry humping each other and got so hungry, they had to boil water to make some noodles from a bag?
Even Ethan Ralph 🐷 won't make such a stupid lie.

Sneed Force One said:
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Enjoy your weekend reprieve from your husband Kayla.
@Fapcop its time.
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Pictured: the multicultural festival at Spicer, Minnesota.

Lurking9e9 said:
Look at this fucking nerd, can he at least put on some fresh clothes?
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Ew.
Stinky.
Imagine the smell of Pedomania. You have stinky smelly skellies and greasy grimey paedophiles.
Yuck.
ewwwww
 
my favorite part of nu-rekieta is all the tattoos that he got when he was smoking crack and now has to cope roleplay that he actually likes them. him and april going to the mall fucking blasted on coke to get le epic meaningful wal mart tshirt designs
 
I skimmed through Fatrick Smellton's show at last year's Hackamania on youtube, and wherever you drop in he's either talking about Aaron, or about five seconds from getting back to talking about Aaron. It can't be overstressed how much his show and his life revolve around Aaron fucking Imholte, the least important person in the world.

Imagine going on stage, in front of a small crowd in a small room , and talking about how much you hate Aaron Imholte for an hour. Then you go home and talk about how much you hate Aaron Imholte on stream for five hours every day. You do that for a couple more years, fantasize about his children occasionally, then you kill yourself, and your body isn't discovered for three months, because nobody gives a shit about you. That's Fatrick Smellton.

Now imagine paying Fatrick Smellton to pretend to be your friend tolerate your presence, so that he can use you as a weapon against Aaron fucking Imholte, the least important person in the world. That's Nick Rekieta.
 
Encouraged Spaces said:
Now imagine paying Fatrick Smellton to pretend to be your friend tolerate your presence, so that he can use you as a weapon against Aaron fucking Imholte, the least important person in the world. That's Nick Rekieta.
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rekieta should have paid for redbar x scarsclub. he still has time to hit the archives.
 
Encouraged Spaces said:
I skimmed through Fatrick Smellton's show at last year's Hackamania on youtube, and wherever you drop in he's either talking about Aaron, or about five seconds from getting back to talking about Aaron. It can't be overstressed how much his show and his life revolve around Aaron fucking Imholte, the least important person in the world.

Imagine going on stage, in front of a small crowd in a small room , and talking about how much you hate Aaron Imholte for an hour. Then you go home and talk about how much you hate Aaron Imholte on stream for five hours every day. You do that for a couple more years, fantasize about his children occasionally, then you kill yourself, and your body isn't discovered for three months, because nobody gives a shit about you. That's Fatrick Smellton.

Now imagine paying Fatrick Smellton to pretend to be your friend tolerate your presence, so that he can use you as a weapon against Aaron fucking Imholte, the least important person in the world. That's Nick Rekieta.
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I think Melton is just obsessed with Aaron at this point because Aaron has had what he could never get. Since he was on the radio he does have some local fans and if he wasnt a big loser could likely pull another chick. Wheras Meltons kinda woman gets held close to their mom when he walks by.
 
john marston said:
Pantsu left Ralph even after everything that happened, and they were living alone in Yucatan. It's not out of the realm of possibility that Kayla will leave.
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Ralph's wife was (or is, I guess they're technically still married) a better mother, more intelligent, and not an addict like Kayla is or was. It's not even close.

Amanda left the first chance Ralph left on his own for a substantial period of time after earlier briefly leaving after they got kicked off their flight to Rome a few months earlier. Also I seem to recall she had to wash everyone's clothes by hand. In Nick's house they apparently wear the same clothes for days at the time.

If it hasn't happened yet, a divorce is not going to happen unless Nick decides to divorce Kayla. I suspect the only reason he hasn't is because he's afraid that his parents wouldn't pay for two separate households to have an upper middle-class lifestyle.

Captain Manning said:
I just wanna point out that nobody here seems to go over to the BMJ thread and shit on it when there's a BMJ happening.

I thought the rule was if you don't like a feature, then don't say shit.
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It's not a big deal. Actually, i'd say that the fact that it happens so consistently is actually pretty hilarious, both here and on the profile of any user who posts about Rekieta in the happenings thread. :story:

Dan of Steel said:
Bro just be honest at this point and say you fucking hate Aaron. No one's going to look at you weird for having your "thing", @Captain Manning is the Dear John guy and @Fapcop literally wants to fuck Qayla. We're all unhinged autists following this shitshow. I think most people just feel that Aaron is boring and milquetoast when comparing him to Rekieta and Melton who are literal ghouls, Aaron doesn't look as bad in comparison. You might say that's unfair or that lolcows should just be looked at case by cause, but considering all of these retards are interconnected, people are going to compare and you're going to come off as kinda silly when your vendetta is against the guy that's a boring Count Cumia wannabe and a cuck who inflates his local boxing coaching credentials. Comparing that to a pedophile and a drug abusing child neglector, yeah I'm sorry I don't think Aaron looks as bad.
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You're replying to two sentences, neither of which you addressed, and in your seething you made up a fantasy about my motives in your head. Now, if I knew posting 2 sentences about in Nick's thread would cause this degree of defense of Aaron's honor I wouldn't have done it.

My actual opinion about Aaron:
I don't have a "vendetta' against Aaron. I don't give a fuck about Aaron. Some people care a lot about Aaron and have a parasocial need to appoint Aaron as some kind of hero fighting against the evil Nick Rekieta instead of someone X% less retarded than Nick. Not only do I find this narrative retarded, when it developed I found it fun to push back on in Aaron's thread by posting about Aaron in Aaron's thread instead of Melton or Rekieta.

"BUT BUT BUT MELTON" "BUT REKIETA" yeah that's literally my exact fucking point.
Thanks for demonstrating.

Kino Casino, by the way, had the right view of this, at least of the segments I listened to. Aaron is less of a liar or a scumbag than Rekieta, but they don't pretend he's some kind of heroic figure. But they have a show designed to be funny rather than alog seething which might have something to do with it!
 
Holy shit Nick, I almost forgot you were there. So boring now, go back to coke if you want to commit to a drug bit that will at least bring in views. Though, coke is a successful person's drug of choice for when they have too much money. Nick probably needs to downgrade to meth or crack if he wants a drug that matches his current station.

Lurking9e9 said:
Look at this fucking nerd, can he at least put on some fresh clothes?
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Clothes cost money, and Nick is pinching pennies after pissing away $400K to prove he's retarded.

Fapcop said:
He better not! My turn to try and rescue her!
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This would almost be worth asking for a poll, but 1: Aaron doesn't deserve any attention since he got cucked by a cuck. However, 2: it would trigger Nick's neurotic tendencies for absolute narrative control while he's in a less controllable environment. That would be funny.
 
bookers said:
This has probably been said before - But going to Vegas seems like an incredibly stupid idea for someone who is on probation (or whatever) and supposed to stay sober. Like it's one of the top 5 "lets get fucked up" places in the world.
There's really nothing else to do in Vegas besides be a massive degenerate. That's the whole pull of the place.

Also the Hackamania lineup seems like it's the biggest group of degenerates probably on earth.
Like 99% of these people are going to be getting fucked up all the time and gambling and shit.
And nick is going to.... just hang around and watch that?
That doesn't sound like fun. So like why even go, what is the purpose?
I guess to try to get attention for his dying streaming career?

I'm not making predictions on what Nick will do, but like .. If there's any situation in the world that would make someone wanna drink/do drugs, it's probably something like this.
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Complimentary drinks in the casinos too.
He is so fucked.

Putting an alcoholic in Vegas and expecting them to be able to resist drinks is the equivalent of putting a dog in a room full of meats and expecting them to not eat any.
The dog honestly has more control and a far better chance. I apologize to the dog for comparing it to the impulsive Rekieta.

AltisticRight said:
I'm hoping for something during this gay noncemania Aaron Imholte circlejerk.
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Instead of gambling, he just dumps tens and thousands into worthless paintings.
He's better at Austin's own gimmick -- losing money. He lost an entire house and nearly 400k in a stupid lawsuit against Montagraph.
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The only thing BossMan is consistent at is taking L's he can't even win the lolcow award. Nick has bested him twice soon to be thrice.

Welp I'm gonna have a nice refreshing drink tonight. I've earned it and I am responsible. Cheers lads. Good luck nicky when that casino girl brings you a drink it'd be rude to turn it down! They'd have to throw it out.
 
Balldo's Gate said:
Ralph's wife was (or is, I guess they're technically still married) a better mother, more intelligent, and not an addict like Kayla is or was. It's not even close.
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That's a hard pill to swallow given that Pantsu is into lolicon, but yeah, I suppose you're right.

Pantsu being a better mother than Kayla is certainly a sobering thought. JFC.
 
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