💀 Horrorcow Nicholas Robert Rekieta / Rekieta "Law" / Actually Criminal / @NickRekieta / "u/Early-Leopard-8351" - Polysubstance abuser, child doser, dog killer. "Lawtube pope" turned zesty Dabbleverse Redditor streamer. Swinger "whitebread ass nigga" who snuffs animals and visits 🇯🇲 BBC resorts. Legally a cuckold. Still not over his ex Aaron. Wife's bod worth $50.

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Luna's expiration date is?

  • <1 year

    Votes: 157 22.5%
  • Around 2 years

    Votes: 277 39.7%
  • 3-5 years

    Votes: 94 13.5%
  • As long as a pug lives, Karen farmer.

    Votes: 169 24.2%

  • Total voters
    697
Lawyers can do very well in prison because the other inmates try to get free legal advice. I’m sure Nick would even be able to fuck that up by being his charming self.
Nick's likely problem will be that he will continue to deny that he deserves to be in prison. That would mean that he's a bad lawyer, who gets people into prison when they don't deserve it. I see people ribbing him over the issue and him blowing up over it and alienating other inmates.
Nick to drug his daughter and that coke-heads are notoriously bad at sharing their "snow"
Nick purchased cocaine and shared it with at least 3 other people (not counting the daughter), so you are once again saying things that anyone who is familiar with the subject matter of the thread knows are stupid.

And worse than saying stupidly uninformed things, you're acting like people being informed on the topic of the thread makes them overinvolved, you're saying that "no one's talked about this," when it's been analyzed in extensive detail earlier in the thread. You walk in here with a chip on your shoulder like you have some secret knowledge that everyone else in the thread missed, while simultaneously being completely ignorant of the subject matter of the thread, and you act completely surprised when people don't react as if you're the thread's new resident genius.

Go back to wherever you came from.
 
As Potentially Criminal / Sean / Subway Boy pointed out onstream, Nick’s dad’s letter is absolute trash.
There’s barely half a sentence admitting Nick did anything wrong, and the rest is just, “muh grandkids, don’t hurt muh grandkids!”
He hardly acknowledges that a crime even took place, let alone shows any genuine remorse on Nick’s behalf (spoiler: there is none). Its stinks worse than dogshit.
I'm torn between which one is worse.

Yeah, Bob's refuses to acknowledge the crime outright, but Kayla's had that whole "My husband fights for freedom, and his enemies hate freedom" bullshit. Which is insulting.

I think "hers" made me roll my eyes harder.

I think Megan's was the least bad because that one probably had the least input from him.
 
2 Hours! I'm locking in a new prediction for my own fanfictionfarms(TM) reasons:
>3 Years probation (2 years supervised)
>50hrs of picking trash in funny vest from roadsides
>No jail


BIIIIG Day today, hope you start the morning with some Whistlepig, which you hid to house#2 during testing period maybe even ease your nerves with some of that Galaxy Gas Goodness?

Cheers CuckPope 🥃 :really:
 
I will likely eat my shoe, but I'm a glass half full guy. I enjoy the excitement of believing in a somethingburger occuring.
> 3 Years Probation
> 20-30 hours Community Service
> 12 days in Jail, cut to 10 for 2 days served

I hope the transcripts will show that the court explicitly knows he's been a raging faggot for nearly a year.
Wildcard: FBI Agents show up
 
Just his thoughts and to ponder how did it lead up to this.
Lessons learned: It was the fault of that goddamned Kiwi Farms, Judge Pussy Liqour, Our Wife's family, the entirety of the sheriff's department, the church, and those bastard woodland critters he keeps murdering. Little does he know that it was the crows all along.
 
I will likely eat my shoe, but I'm a glass half full guy. I enjoy the excitement of believing in a somethingburger occuring.
> 3 Years Probation
> 20-30 hours Community Service
> 12 days in Jail, cut to 10 for 2 days served

I hope the transcripts will show that the court explicitly knows he's been a raging faggot for nearly a year.
Wildcard: FBI Agents show up

I admire your chutzpah.

But I’m going to have to be a negative Nancy:
> 2 years probation
> 40 hours community service
> no jail time


Wildcard:
Fight breaks out between streamers / Alogs on courtroom steps
 
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If Nick actually goes to jail (:optimistic:), we should make a new poll. Some suggestions for options

How does Nick react to jail?
  • He learns nothing and tries to look like a martyr for freedom.
  • He repents and gets clean.
  • He goes insane in protective custody.
  • He tries to play off his daily suffering as comedy.
  • His spirit is broken and he becomes meek and pitiful.
  • Hedonism III: Candy Yoshi Penitentiary Edition

I originally wrote "what happens to Nick in jail", but I think his reaction to being jailed is much more interesting. If he were jailed, I suspect he would irritate other inmates, and probably get beat up by new guys once or twice. (I'm assuming that Nick would go to a relatively nice jail.) Doing it this way also sidesteps the inevitable avalanche of Mutt's Law posts (at least a little bit. I'm sure when the thread is featured, every third post will be Mutt's Law (:_()

ETA: Added option 6 as suggested by @(°▽°)
 
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I'm torn between which one is worse.

Yeah, Bob's refuses to acknowledge the crime outright, but Kayla's had that whole "My husband fights for freedom, and his enemies hate freedom" bullshit. Which is insulting.

I think "hers" made me roll my eyes harder.

I think Megan's was the least bad because that one probably had the least input from him.
I think Kayla's is particularly bad, because she was a co-defendant in the crime, but she shows no remorse, nor does she indicate Nick does, either. Totally missing is any indication of what has changed. What she tries to pass off as a mistake is a months-long pattern of behavior. If probation is going to be successful, there should have been some soul searching in that house to figure out how they got to where they are now, and what changes need to be made to prevent it happening again. Instead, Kayla's letter comes across as trying really hard to pretend that nothing happened, and asking the court to play along.

The part about Nick being silences is a total nonsequitor. How does anything in the PSI silence Nick? Parole doesn't. Community service doesn't. The jail time does, but only for 30 days, after which time he can go back to talking. The only thing that could "silence" Nick is all the internet anons mocking him for his punishment, and it's not the court's job to prevent that from happening.
 
How does Nick react to jail?
  • He learns nothing and tries to look like a martyr for freedom.
  • He repents and gets clean.
  • He goes insane in protective custody.
  • He tries to play off his daily suffering as comedy.
  • His spirit is broken and he becomes meek and pitiful.
Yes, except for number 2.
 
If Nick actually goes to jail (:optimistic:), we should make a new poll. Some suggestions for options

How does Nick react to jail?
  • He learns nothing and tries to look like a martyr for freedom.
  • He repents and gets clean.
  • He goes insane in protective custody.
  • He tries to play off his daily suffering as comedy.
  • His spirit is broken and he becomes meek and pitiful.

I originally wrote "what happens to Nick in jail", but I think his reaction to being jailed is much more interesting. If he were jailed, I suspect he would irritate other inmates, and probably get beat up by new guys once or twice. (I'm assuming that Nick would go to a relatively nice jail.) Doing it this way also sidesteps the inevitable avalanche of Mutt's Law posts (at least a little bit. I'm sure when the thread is featured, every third post will be Mutt's Law (:_()
Jail has:
  • Black men
  • No Scandinavian prudes
  • No children
  • No driving
  • No ruined body
In short, Nick will be begging to be let back in.
 
Locking it in now.

>no jail
>no community service
>1 day of probation

Wildcard: Nick manages to violate the probation and is sentenced to be immediately crucified on a St. Andrew's cross, only to rise again on Sunday to spread the good word of polycules and medicinal cocaine
 
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