💼 Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

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When will Jack drop dead?

  • February-March 2024

    Votes: 6 0.4%

  • April-May 2024

    Votes: 6 0.4%

  • June-July 2024

    Votes: 17 1.1%

  • August-September 2024

    Votes: 34 2.2%

  • October-November 2024

    Votes: 37 2.4%

  • December 2024

    Votes: 44 2.8%

  • Sometime in 2025

    Votes: 258 16.6%

  • Sometime in 2026

    Votes: 252 16.2%

  • Jack lives forever. The Wendigo Must Consoom

    Votes: 902 58.0%
  • Total voters
    1,556
LifeAlert said:
From Jack's twatter:



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"a new hung" I don't even think it was a typo for Jack, because he didn't misspell anything else. He always has cock on his mind.

"It’s been a pleasure to have you in our lives" is such a weird thing to say? It has been a pleasure? That is something you say to a friend or co-worker. "Blessing" fits in there perfectly when talking about your family member, but Jack fumbles the birthday message and made a whole new sentence using blessing.
 
I think there's been one or two comic storylines where Storm is the victim of a body swap plotline between her and Emma Frost, of all fucking people, but I'm electing to ignore that because that's retarded. I guess let's put it this way, there's never been an incarnation of the X-Men where she wasn't black to start with, which sounds weird when I say it like that but eh.

I doubt Jack ever read any of the comics I'm referring to either.
 
Delayed Breathing said:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y3KpKv1Rm0E this one
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Thanks for sharing this even if its not the toxic canning video. I had always assumed Jack's "studio" at the new house was just kitchen cabinets, etc built into the back wall of a garage. This video shows the rest of the room, which looks fucking small. It's an L shaped room with three doors, one of which looks like it goes outside. Practically a hallway. Maybe it was originally designed to be a laundry room? That door across from the fridge is a closet/pantry/gadget hoard. Anyway, this lead me down the path of sketching it up in MS Autodesk:

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It explains why he always has the stupidest camera angles, there aren't any good ones. It's poorly laid out for filming and he had it built custom for CWJ. The whole thing is just odd, I dont know what else to say.
 
myhairisonfire said:
Thanks for sharing this even if its not the toxic canning video. I had always assumed Jack's "studio" at the new house was just kitchen cabinets, etc built into the back wall of a garage. This video shows the rest of the room, which looks fucking small. It's an L shaped room with three doors, one of which looks like it goes outside. Practically a hallway. Maybe it was originally designed to be a laundry room? That door across from the fridge is a closet/pantry/gadget hoard. Anyway, this lead me down the path of sketching it up in MS Autodesk:

View attachment 6972230

It explains why he always has the stupidest camera angles, there aren't any good ones. It's poorly laid out for filming and he had it built custom for CWJ. The whole thing is just odd, I dont know what else to say.
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There's a lot of peeking behind the curtain in that video. There's several extended shots of Jack's horde on set, because he demanded a portion of the garage to be his shooting space. And it just shows his general incompetence.
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He has the studio light shining directly into the camera. He's doing a project that needs a lot of counter space, but he doesn't move his spongebob piggybank, or his stupid log cutting board, which because of it's irregular shape, also renders some of counter space unusable.
 
abobe said:
"It’s been a pleasure to have you in our lives" is such a weird thing to say? It has been a pleasure? That is something you say to a friend or co-worker
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Jack is incapable of forming emotional bonds with humans or causes. His only love is Jack: feeding Jack and satisfying Jack by nonstop bitching.
 
Jack uploaded a JoTG to Twitter a day early. Him pronouncing "Lodge" as Lowge made the final cut, even after he corrects himself to later edit out his mispronunciation.

 
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John Andrews Stan said:
Jack is incapable of forming emotional bonds with humans or causes. His only love is Jack: feeding Jack and satisfying Jack by nonstop bitching.
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Perhaps random, but I think this is why Jack's laugh is (or, well, was, because he doesn't laugh anymore, and I don't only mean that poetically) so sudden and fake and grating. He never genuinely finds anything funny, because having a sense of humor means having real organic contextual emotion.

Every video where he socializes with other people is cringe because he is larping (poorly) as a person who feels anything.
 
myhairisonfire said:
Thanks for sharing this even if its not the toxic canning video. I had always assumed Jack's "studio" at the new house was just kitchen cabinets, etc built into the back wall of a garage. This video shows the rest of the room, which looks fucking small. It's an L shaped room with three doors, one of which looks like it goes outside. Practically a hallway. Maybe it was originally designed to be a laundry room? That door across from the fridge is a closet/pantry/gadget hoard. Anyway, this lead me down the path of sketching it up in MS Autodesk:

View attachment 6972230

It explains why he always has the stupidest camera angles, there aren't any good ones. It's poorly laid out for filming and he had it built custom for CWJ. The whole thing is just odd, I dont know what else to say.
Click to expand...
I think one of those doors leads to a guest bedroom and the idea is that's supposed to be an in-law suite. So Fatty's mom comes to visit she can have her own little place. He mentioned something like that at one point during the video after the home was built.
 
So, per Jack's latest and perhaps accidentally-uploaded video, he's making shoofly pie (a brown sugar and molasses dessert pie) - Meaning he'll be editing around eating half the pie and pretending he didn't. As always, I really enjoyed watching Tammy push his wheelchair around the store and occasionally bump him into things while he tries to avoid filming the chair or otherwise spoiling the illusion that he walks just fine while standing at four feet tall and needing everything right in front of his face read or described to him in the manner of a special needs child on a field trip.
 
For anyone who may be interested, at the end of Jack's recent F as in Frank, about government corruption with his brother, Charles mentions his music being under the name Retro Prof / retroprof. Charles gallantly throws this info out, thumbing his nose that the haters will join the next livestream chat to tell him how bad it is.

I've found what I believe must be his soundcloud, based on the retroprof username and the bio mentioning being a software engineer, film producer etc: https://soundcloud.com/retroprof

Some of the tracks then match up with this fuller album (with AI cover art) on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/album/3awWg2FWtU03cQwyBN03Gv?si=6dm1EcuCRcaCbKpIPxG6qg

To be honest, it's fine. At this rate, I might end up watching Charles' film as well as he said its available on Amazon Prime, although I haven't checked for that yet.
 
New Jack tweets

More Government dicksucking

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"People have standards for video integrity" as if you don't make slop every week

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Jack giddy about pedophilia exposure that he probably only learned from his brother

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Doctor of Autism said:
"People have standards for video integrity" as if you don't make slop every week
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Says the fat bumbling loud mouthed retard whose video will randomly go from 720p to 144p with audio breaking, being on YouTube for over a decade yet he still can't fix his shitty audio, and it's full of AI slop.

What integrity?

Marc said:
he's making shoofly pie
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Sounds carnivore alright.
 
Haven’t checked out this thread in a long time-I think since the nursing home arc. I left because I was finding the whole thing too sad but now the absurd body horror aspect is making me find the whole thing funny again in an admittedly very fucked up way. The whole thing reminds me of The Onion’s Porking Across America series of videos.
 
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Why is jr. holding his fingers in the "two in the pink, one in the stink" position? Is that code for something else, like the upside down pineapple signalling that you're into swinging (thanks, Rekieta's thread for that info, btw)?
 
abobe said:
Jack uploaded a JoTG to Twitter a day early. Him pronouncing "Lodge" as Lowge made the final cut, even after he corrects himself to later edit out his mispronunciation.

A4AcFR377002Qmze.mp4
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Ah yes, a true sign that the amish were involved. A room full of pallets piled with cardboard boxes and shrinkwrapped. Also, damn near 20 years as a youtube chef and can't pronounce Lodge. It's also kind of amazing how retarded Fatty is to be impressed by a bunch of lazily jarred bulk purchased SEEZININGS that he's LIDERULLY never seen so many of when it doesn't appear to be much more variety than you'd get at a normal fucking supermarket in smaller containers. "you probably want to get your chocolate from the amish because of a recall" ah yes the amish known for their cacao plantations? This fucking retard actually believes anything sold in a bag or glass jar with a cheap label must be "amish".
Marc said:
So, per Jack's latest and perhaps accidentally-uploaded video, he's making shoofly pie (a brown sugar and molasses dessert pie) - Meaning he'll be editing around eating half the pie and pretending he didn't. As always, I really enjoyed watching Tammy push his wheelchair around the store and occasionally bump him into things while he tries to avoid filming the chair or otherwise spoiling the illusion that he walks just fine while standing at four feet tall and needing everything right in front of his face read or described to him in the manner of a special needs child on a field trip.
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Considering how short he is, the camera wouldn't be that much higher if he were walking around.
 
Doctor of Autism said:
Jack giddy about pedophilia exposure that he probably only learned from his brother
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He'll bitch and moan when his daddy Trump shows up on the list

AltisticRight said:
Says the fat bumbling loud mouthed retard whose video will randomly go from 720p to 144p with audio breaking, being on YouTube for over a decade yet he still can't fix his shitty audio, and it's full of AI slop.

What integrity?
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There's two kinds of react videos: lazy slop where the youtuber won't add anything to it, and transformative content, where the youtuber will actually add meaningful commentary to what's been reacted to. Jack must hate react videos because there's plenty of youtuber (real) chefs reacting to his videos, where they not only vivisect him over his gross incompetence, but will give real advices on what to do (or what not to do), showcasing in detail Jacks mistakes making these kinds of videos a true spotlight to his ignorance and how bad he is at cooking. Jacks just assblasted that a react video can teach way more then he "taught" over 20 years on the platform:

 
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