Goons are that kid in school who was always told he was smart, while being a B student. The kid that gets all this praise from teachers, parents and other students for their potential and how they're obviously bright, but don't want to put the effort in to being on the Honor Roll. The kid that does a semester or two at a big school and drops out because the classes were too tough and his work ethic was shit. The kid you look up on Facebook before the 15 year reunion and see is working as an assistant manager at Best Buy, talking about the merits of communism and how too many people are too stupid to realize it. He never connects that his intelligence wasn't ever as high as it was built up to be, because potential isn't a word you use to describe anything about a man in his 30s who wears a name tag to work having unless the word "for heart disease" immediately follows . There will be no silver-lining on his clouds, just more Xanax and self-important posts on Facebook talking about how he's too good to go to his High School reunion, despite living within 20 miles of the school.
Goons are almost without fail the worst part of any other group they belong to, not seeing that their Janeane Garofalo personalities are as outdated as the 96 Corolla with blistering paint and a Coexist bumper sticker that they roll in to work with. They have a career arc that looks like the flight path of a exceptional child's paper airplane and they will go to any length to convince themselves otherwise so long as it doesn't include any actual self improvement. Those who do get married and have kids will always raise children like them, have a spouse who makes excuses for them until one day they simply can't and in the end it all plays out the same, a bottle of pills, a handle of vodka and a solitary gravestone that strains to find a positive footnote.
