🐷 Ethan Ralph's Twitter / Tweets - A collection of thoughts, insights and musings from the internet's favorite gunted hobbit

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Will Ralph see Xander on November 15th?

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"I want to thank Milo Yianoppolous for giving me this gift, and this curse."
Gift giving?
 
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You’d swear he was going away for 6 months.

He does this thing where simply talking about getting clean gives him a huge dopamine hit and it just means doing the actual work of getting clean isn’t as appealing.

Relapse in a few months MAX.
 
"some have even quit drinking or doing drugs due to my influence or public speaking on the topic"

No Ralph people quit drink and drugs because they see what a husk you have become

I swear this whole speech was written by AI
 
WingsOfLardation said:
Above is the "farewell address"
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It's funny to me how he gets emotional when he talks about his mother.

Not that I find his mother's death funny or anything. I do find it funny that Harry Morris still has her ashes because Ralph left them at his house. Apparently when he was packing the guntmobile, he only had enough room for either her urn or his bowling trophy.
 
I do want him to get better, though. It sucks being a slave to substance. Your world becomes so small and meaningless. I hope he ditches his fear and does the hard work. It's absolutely worth it. But if I hear one word about what happens in his probably mandatory meetings, I will go the fuck off.
 
I just listened to the xitter video and I would like to wish Ralph the best. I dont believe for one second that he's going to get sober, but if he can and actually turns the rest of his life around being a good parent for the rest of his life he could show that anyone else could do it too.
 
Wild Pack Of Jerkop's said:
I just listened to the xitter video and I would like to wish Ralph the best. I dont believe for one second that he's going to get sober, but if he can and actually turns the rest of his life around being a good parent for the rest of his life he could show that anyone else could do it too.
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Poor dude is going to get stuck on the fifth step. A lot of people do, especially if their sponsor doesn't force the issue. And the old timers who don't molly-coddle are dying off. A good sponsor doesn't cosign bullshit, because they know all of it, being bullshitters, themselves.
 
not william stenchever said:
DARPA should study his genetics to find out which white trash genes of his would improve the survivability of a genetically modified supersoldier against chemical weapons.
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He should sell his Gunt crease to science. I'm sure some rouge state/terror group would pay mucho dinero with the cultures they'd get for bio-weaponry.

Edit: Guntulinum Toxin
 
He never got himself into rehab for his family, health, finances, many lost friends, but for Milo? lmao
 
Ralph writing a speech he wishes someone else would give about him at his grave, when in reality every person who ever knew him wouldn't talk about him as a "gonzo journalist womanizing wresslin heel" but just accurately describe him as a "piece of shit junkie who has treated every single person in his life like shit and died alone".

The highlights of Ralphs career will forever be streams where he was passed out drunk. Every sex trafficking victim in the brothels he frequents will breathe a sigh of relieve when he never returns. His mother died ashamed of him. His father was a piece of shit. None of his "friends" (who even is left? perpickyclitty?) will even bother to claim his remains. His children will be raised by other men and not know who Ralph is and his subforum will be merged and forgotten in Lolcows of History.
 
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