🐷 Ethan Ralph's Twitter / Tweets - A collection of thoughts, insights and musings from the internet's favorite gunted hobbit

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Will Ralph see Xander on November 15th?

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i will never understand how it's "an own" to drop dirt on people that you just severed ties on. the only thing it shows me is that you were friends with fucked up people that did fucked up things up until it didn't befit you any more. like...whoa...
 
Ralph, buddy. We aren't even halfway though the first month of the year. Maybe pump them breaks a little. You're gonna be all burnt up by April at this point.
 
Rage Pig said:
ralph-wedding1.jpg
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Ralph fatly pointing his greasy finger to his man wife who is towering over him in this photo always makes me laugh.
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Mr E. Grifter said:
You've got to feel for Xander, probably excited to see his dad for the first time in what must seem like forever -
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Lil Xannie doesn’t even know who he is, other than being told to call him ‘daddy.’ Ethan Ralph could disappear off the face of the earth tomorrow and the kid wouldn’t even notice.
Mr E. Grifter said:
and at best he's going to turn up hungover, in unclean clothes with cuts and scrapes all over him. If he keeps getting exposed to this he might end up with a complex.

Ralph is now in a full blown BPD spiral after being rejected by Dick, because Dick needs to make sure his pregnant girlfriend isn't exposed to a drug addict who sleeps in mexican airport bathrooms.
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More like girlfriend found out Dax’s plans and said no I am NOT having that thing back in this house.
 
It’s Ralph. All Dick has to do is say a few smooth words and Ralph will come crawling back on all four and his gunt to suck up to Dick because Ralph is a bitch.
 
BURN EVERYTHING LIKE GASOLINE!

PIGGERTITS IS GOING SUPERNOVA!

BURN IT DOWN RALPHAMALE. ROAST THE DIDDLER, THE PEDO, AND THE CRACKHEAD WHO FED HIS DAUGHTER COCAINE!!
 
Oh Ralph says he's going to drop dirt? He's never done that before! Let me sit here and F5 so I can catch it as soon as it happens!
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Ralph, did you discover what everyone else already knew? That Dax was never your friend and that he in fact encouraged you to do stupid things to give his show more content? He even wanted to monetize your rehab. A real friend would do that privately off camera.

You're no man's bish. Spill all of his dirty laundry. He's used you for years, time to use him for content now. I promise the paypigs will come out for a fuck Dax fest.
 
I don't buy this.
Over the last year Dax has made three successive (but unsuccessful) attempts to engineer kayfabe.
The Dax vs Vito "beef" apparently ended with Dax having a "human moment" according to the BPITU fans, real wholesome r/humansbeingbros episode.
The Riley vs Vito "beef" culminated with Riley and Vito awkwardly hugging each other while Dax filmed.
The Mint vs Vito "beef" is so unconvincing and forgettable that I can't even come up with a witty comment.
This is a lie, a fabrication, a fakeout, a "work" if you will.
Ralph would never say "Kiwifarms was right" and mean it.
Ralph pretends to be angry.jpg
 
Toxidrome said:
I don't buy this.
Over the last year Dax has made three successive (but unsuccessful) attempts to engineer kayfabe.
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Okay but Ralph is objectively shittered and has been for the last while. If this was kayfabe surely there'd be an actual show to collect a payoff from. Instead Dick seems to be shunning the gunt.

Now Dick might be playing 'poke the piggy' but a work by definition has to have two parties in on it.
 
Toxidrome said:
I don't buy this.
Over the last year Dax has made three successive (but unsuccessful) attempts to engineer kayfabe.
The Dax vs Vito "beef" apparently ended with Dax having a "human moment" according to the BPITU fans, real wholesome r/humansbeingbros episode.
The Riley vs Vito "beef" culminated with Riley and Vito awkwardly hugging each other while Dax filmed.
The Mint vs Vito "beef" is so unconvincing and forgettable that I can't even come up with a witty comment.
This is a lie, a fabrication, a fakeout, a "work" if you will.
Ralph would never say "Kiwifarms was right" and mean it.
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I wouldn't put it past them, I think that's why nobody has bothered to even toss it in the community notes thread. That being said I hold out hope that INTERNET LEGEND Ethan Oliver Ralph will light all of them ablaze while in fiery LA!
 
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