Opinion Will Mormons take over Britain?

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By Gavin Haynes
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In 1829, there were six Mormons in the world. Today, there are 16 million global followers of The Church of Jesus Christ of the Latter-day Saints.

This is what a growth plan, a bit of drive, and some golden tablets containing God’s final revelation can do for a fledgling religion. In 1989, Mormonism’s growth peaked at 9% a year. And even in shagged-out old England, Mormonism appears to be growing. Plans are now in for its third temple, in Sutton Coldfield in the West Midlands.

Temples are the deluxe end of Mormonism. To enter one, the devout need official permission from the bishops of the church. They are likely to be on high-level business: a wedding, or a baptism.

This third outpost will cover the West of England and Wales, servicing the nation’s estimated 186,000 Mormons.

By comparison, there are a reported 132,000 Jehovah’s Witnesses in the country while the Salvation Army lists its headcount at around 54,000. The Plymouth Brethren are 16,000-strong. In 2016, the Methodist Church — the religion of Margaret Thatcher and the early Labour Party, and the very backbone of a certain kind of Enlightenment England — reported that it had only 188,000 active members.

Curiously, by the 1860s there were 30,000 Mormons in Britain — more than in Utah itself (26,000). But most emigrated — in fact, at one point Brits comprised a third of Utah’s population — so that by the 1960s there were just 6,000 Latter-day Saints left on these isles.

There might be something unsettling about a religion explicitly based upon the notion that Jesus was secretly North American deepening its tendrils in England. But what it shows is that things change. The map of British faith is still contested — and not just by the endless importation of diverse peoples.

It shows that, as much as we might be becoming a more secular country (the “no religion” tribe being up 12%, to 37% of the total, between the 2011 and 2021 Censuses), we are also becoming a more religious one.

This is a paradox we’re only starting to reckon with. As secularism rises, so too is Mormonism and other religious offshoots. It has the big family thing, but it also has a gift for proselytising. That was how they won Britain.

While Billy Graham was preaching his Crusades at Wembley, deep in the suburbs, a gentler kind of brimstone was being asserted. That of American men in neatly starched short-sleeved shirts, going from house to house, with colour booklets explaining a curious interplanetary dharma. Bolstered by a war chest of cash, yes, but undergirded by a dense social structure that meant belief came naturally.

They’re not interested in who mocks them. Instead, they’ve built from the inside out: first church, then family, community, and nation. This is a structure that bolsters itself. More than simply being an anomaly in a secular world, it’s a bulwark against a secular world. Some might say the same about the social structures, the Ummah, of Islam.

So while the Church of England signs up another raft of race doulas with funding from the bequests of another generation of maiden aunts, rapidly expanding Nigerian pentecostal churches in London are actively targeting white worshippers.

As Sheryl Sandberg would have it, Mormonism leans in. We laughed at the Church of Latter-day Saints when the Book of Mormon came out. But things change. In 30 years time, we might not be laughing so hard.
 
Don't worry, they'll be properly brought to heel after the caliphate is established inshallah. Convert, pay jizya, or face the sword.
 
Britian is considered a very hard mission. So no. We've been there nearly since our founding, so i doubt we're taking over lol
 
Britian is considered a very hard mission. So no. We've been there nearly since our founding, so i doubt we're taking over lol
And even then, nearly every British convert in the early years moved to America when they could, so there was no way a Mormon takeover was going to happen, pip pip cheerio.
 
Britian is considered a very hard mission. So no. We've been there nearly since our founding, so i doubt we're taking over lol
You'll never expand Utah thank fuck. You lost the Britbongs long ago when Jerome and Muhammed let themselves in with their small boats, not surprised if Britian becomes a caliphate by the end of the decade.
 
There might be something unsettling about a religion explicitly based upon the notion that Jesus was secretly North American
So you know literally nothing about the religion you're writing an article on. Fucking journalists...

(I'm not Mormon but they clearly don't believe that)
 
The Mormons aren't all that bad. A little goofy but otherwise decent people.

If the Bongs can't keep Islam out themselves, maybe this is their last chance.
 
And even then, nearly every British convert in the early years moved to America when they could, so there was no way a Mormon takeover was going to happen, pip pip cheerio.
Yeah. That's a big thing. The people that wanted to convert mostly did and left. There wasn't much left of a remaining Mormon church left in Britan by the end.
 
I have had several encounters with Mormons here in bongstan they always appear so downbeat and sad, I bet they're wishing they learned another language so they didn't get such a shit mission location.
It is not uncommon for a missionary in the UK to only get in the single digits worth of conversions and baptisms. For 2 whole years. Contrast that with South America where you CAN get into the hundreds. The religious rivalries in Britain I doubt help matters for the regular Mormons just going to church on Sunday.
 
The religious rivalries in Britain I doubt help matters for the regular Mormons just going to church on Sunday.
I don't see much rivalry, just most people went to Church of England schools as kids, it's effectively an immunisation against organised religion. Most of the current religious converts went to secular inner city schools as far as I'm aware.
 
The religious rivalries in Britain I doubt help matters for the regular Mormons just going to church on Sunday.
Nah, the country's becoming more Islamic by the day. Missionaries of all sorts should count their lucky stars they're not getting acid thrown at them or run down by some fanatic.
 
Nah, the country's becoming more Islamic by the day. Missionaries of all sorts should count their lucky stars they're not getting acid thrown at them or run down by some fanatic.
You know some missionary has a story of that happening. Heard too many from my old scout leaders that went to South America that got guns pulled on them and packs of feral "dogs" (I use the word loosely, they are allowed to breed in the street and run rampant, pitbulls but worse) chasing them to the point they had to carry rocks to throw at the mutts so they would stay away. I can only imagine some of the encounters with the Muslims.
 
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