💀 Horrorcow Nicholas Robert Rekieta / Rekieta "Law" / Actually Criminal / @NickRekieta / "u/Early-Leopard-8351" - Polysubstance abuser, child doser, dog killer. "Lawtube pope" turned zesty Dabbleverse Redditor streamer. Swinger "whitebread ass nigga" who snuffs animals and visits 🇯🇲 BBC resorts. Legally a cuckold. Still not over his ex Aaron. Wife's bod worth $50.

[Himedall All-seeing Waifu]

• Nick's sweet offer to the state was he'd transform his popular youtube channel in exchange for becoming an anti-drugs channel... in exchange for forgoing a 2 year ban on booze during his probation.
• He would also go to schools to promote no drugs and counsel about not taking drugs.

This is so retarded it's something only Nick could think up.

Which makes me think it just might be real...

Aaron may or may not be full of it, but I kinda think Nick WOULD propose something this retarded. Wouldn't you?

Not that they would accept it, but that he would TRY it.

Nick is so delusional and arrogant he still thinks he is a social media darling/expert instead of a burned out has-been that few people want to watch anymore.

Based on some of my own sources, Nick offered something similarly... creative... to Rumble with his contract re-negotiation. They declined.

Nick thought the plea hearings were horse trading, rather than standard practice. (Take it or leave it.)

This sounds accurate. Nick talked about making deals and how well he was able to negotiate for his clients... But if you look at his record, he is a terrible negotiator...

Nick sounds like a broken-hearted teenager. This isn't what Nick wants to do, but he wasn't given a choice.

This is something I want to believe because it is funny, but I cannot confirm.

Per this source, during Nick's original negotiations with Rumble, he straight-faced told them to put him on their board of directors, because he had some good ideas for the platform.

I have heard things that would support the idea of Nick overestimating his own value. Nothing about a BoD position, but him talking about large scale changes and doing 'new' things. Given his lack of technical knowledge, I think he lacked the knowledge to see how big an investment the changes would take.

 

[Red flaming panda]

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Ok it's another inspect element, but seriously, why isn't he gloating like last time? Just how badly could it possibly have gone? Did he not get even a single marginal concession out of the state to be a smug prick about?

(Link) (Archive)
>I don't hate them back

 

[John Andrews Stan]

Based on some of my own sources, Nick offered something similarly... creative... to Rumble with his contract re-negotiation. They declined.

Is Nick “I NEVER LIE” Rekieta still pretending Rumble picked him up for another lucrative year?

 

[Schpoots]

I've been trying to think of how the April situation will be handled since the house is potentially being purchased. Here are my ideas:

1. Nick bought a trailor or camper for April to live in outside his house.
2. The house was bought by his parents/trust and April will rent it.
3. April will live in the nearby forest in a tent and embrace her inner huntress.

 

[ye's Official KF Burner]

I would think a lot of that is factually true. Aaron's retarded, though, so his "this is why" speculation is also retarded. I kept the list of what I think is more factual. My own retarded "why" reasoning follows.

I would also believe this is mostly true but the majority of the "why" was originally added by Nick because he's retarded enough to make a good number of those claims ahead of time without really having any grounds for it.

I think Aaron is just playing telephone with the info given.

 

[Pedophobe]

Nick becoming an "anti-drug channel" is possibly the "value added" proposition he alluded to in November. I believe he said that once the state saw the value in it, they would agree with him.

I'm getting big "I have lots of ideas about how to improve Rumble" vibes from this. Despite it all he still acts like everyone should be enraptured by the smell of his farts.

 

[Desktop User2]

Nick becoming an "anti-drug channel" is possibly the "value added" proposition he alluded to in November.

Who is currently Nick´s audience? I´d guess weebs and wine moms so the anti drug PSA, even if we were charitable and think he still has a career streaming, would be completely worthless.

 

[Vibralldo]

Nick thought he could beat the warrant by claiming the officer lied when he said cog's identical reupload was the original

I could easily see him being retarded enough to suggest that his channel could become anti drug themed so he could get the probation removed and immediately go back to drinking and doing drugs

 

[Burt Macklin]

Clip via Stallyn19

• Nick's sweet offer to the state was he'd transform his popular youtube channel in exchange for becoming an anti-drugs channel... in exchange for forgoing a 2 year ban on booze during his probation.
• He would also go to schools to promote no drugs and counsel about not taking drugs.

Any parent in Spicer or the surrounding area would immediately pull their kids from school that day. Nick shouldn't even teach children how to tie shoes.

• Nick thought the plea hearings were horse trading, rather than standard practice. (Take it or leave it.)

Now we know how/why Nick's "clients" lost all their cases. JFC.

• Powers that be basically told Nick it's either Ape, or everything else in his life- the good Christian life. I assume Aaron means his parents. The tard wrangling by Mama Rackets confirmed?
• Nick DENIED April. IN spite of his chats and calls with Melton.
• Nick sounds like a broken-hearted teenager. This isn't what Nick wants to do, but he wasn't given a choice.

"Power of the Purse" = Mama Celeste & Daddy Rackets

A broken-hearted teenager? The way he's still sucking mommy's teet at 43, Rekieta officially is Buster Bluth with 5 kids and a drug problem. I'm convinced there's Celeste & Nick "Motherboy Competition" pictures out there somewhere.

Spoiler: Motherboy Competition Pics

• Per this source, during Nick's original negotiations with Rumble, he straight-faced told them to put him on their board of directors, because he had some good ideas for the platform.

Board of Directors? This stupid trust-fund fuck hasn't worked a day in his life and expects to be put on a board for his "ideas"? Nick, you're put on a board when you've proven via resume you're accomplished. The only thing Nick is good at accomplishing is "self-sabotage" and "FUBAR-ing your life."

ETA :

Despite it all he still acts like everyone should be enraptured by the smell of his farts.

He farts drywall dust.

 

[Captain Manning]

Based upon my (admittedly limited) understanding of the criminal justice system, here's my headcanon as to what might have gone down today.

Please let me know how close you think I am.


I am the LORD REKIETA! Here are the terms of my surrender! I am a mega lawyer! Obey me, woman!


You will accept the deal I am offering or I will fuck you into the dirt at trial.


REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! Okay.

 

[Dixieland Buckaroo]

Nick thought he could beat the warrant by claiming the officer lied when he said cog's identical reupload was the original

I could easily see him being retarded enough to suggest that his channel could become anti drug themed so he could get the probation removed and immediately go back to drinking and doing drugs

It would explain why he hasn't been streaming on youtube. Besides the sloth, lack of work ethic, no need for income....

You will accept the deal I am offering or I will fuck you into the dirt at trial.

It's even better that not only is she a woman, but she's also... uh... husky....

 

[john marston]

I am the LORD REKIETA! Here are the terms of my surrender! I am a mega lawyer! Obey me, woman!

Fake. We all know he is known as Lord Balldo

 

[Strix454]

Board of Directors? This stupid trust-fund fuck hasn't worked a day in his life and expects to be put on a board for his "ideas"? Nick, you're put on a board when you've proven via resume you're accomplished. The only thing Nick is good at accomplishing is "self-sabotage" and "FUBAR-ing your life."

There was another stream a long time ago where he explained his views that corporations just give people money without any expectations at all. That once he started working for a corporation (rumble), he didn't have to worry about ratings or views or stats or superchats. They would just pay him money forever and he could do whatever show he wanted. Even a show nobody watched.

He really didn't understand business at all or even really what a job is. He also really thought at the end of his contract that he was some sort of big star that was going to courted by rumble and listened to. The impression I get is that they never even contracted him about a renewal. His failure was so spectacular that he was just an embarrassment to be forgotten. And when the people he could reach didn't listen to his ideas, escalating all the way to the board of directors probably made sense to Nick.

He really did have a chance at substantial success for a moment. But when it came down it, what Nick really wanted were lewds of middle-aged women, an online romance with a skinwalking troon and a bottle up his own ass.

 

[Kipersonapiscesotter]

Nick thought he could beat the warrant by claiming the officer lied when he said cog's identical reupload was the original

I could easily see him being retarded enough to suggest that his channel could become anti drug themed so he could get the probation removed and immediately go back to drinking and doing drugs

Even for Nick, he can't be so retarded to repeatedly and recently say he was never an addict and then also ask the prosecutor to allow him to be the poster child of addiction.

That's why I think it's likely bullshit. He can't be that retarded.

 

[MeltyTW]

He really didn't understand business at all

...but he reads tons of ayn rand. the fuck did he think they were arguing about? how is he this retarded. why didnt the captain mannings of the world stop being a fan earlier to tell us nick knew absolutely fucking nothing about anything whatsoever?

Even for Nick, he can't be so retarded to repeatedly and recently say he was never an addict and then also ask the prosecutor to allow him to be the poster child of addiction.

That's why I think it's likely bullshit. He can't be that retarded.

see you say that, i said that, melton said that. but apparently nick is an actual chris chan tier down syndrome drool bucket waterhead piece of shit from what i can gather. he just had rich parents who apparently can just buy him the qualifications to be a lolyer and an office, and was lucky enough i guess for his fans to just never question him on anything ever until now.

 

[Sock Cucker]

IMO, Nick's channel has been a PSA against excessive drinking and drug use since Rittenhouse. Quite a few
Farmers swore off drinking due to his glaring dysfunctional behavior while under the influence.

 

[Folgers Can]

I've been trying to think of how the April situation will be handled since the house is potentially being purchased. Here are my ideas:

1. Nick bought a trailor or camper for April to live in outside his house.
2. The house was bought by his parents/trust and April will rent it.
3. April will live in the nearby forest in a tent and embrace her inner huntress.

4. The house's buyer is something along the lines of "TotallyNotCeleste Property Holdings VIII, LLC" with a registered address of a UPS Store box in Saint Petersburg, Florida, so that it can be the faceless plaintiff doing the dirty work of the month-long eviction proceeding against April without her knowing to get pissed at Nick for it. Whatever chicanery it takes to lower the odds of her taking Josh up on that $6K, they will do it.

 

[Trianon]

Any parent in Spicer or the surrounding area would immediately pull their kids from school that day. Nick shouldn't even teach children how to tie shoes.

The courts are probably aware that "teaching children" and "maintaining a popular YouTube channel" are the two main things Nick has tried and completely failed at. The third main thing is "understanding the law." He is playing with a lousy deck.

 

[Vibralldo]

Even for Nick, he can't be so retarded to repeatedly and recently say he was never an addict and then also ask the prosecutor to allow him to be the poster child of addiction.

That's why I think it's likely bullshit. He can't be that retarded.

Nick is a mentally ill drug addict

When you're in as deep as him, your priorities shift so that getting high is near the top

I could easily see him trying this in a desperate attempt to get the probation lifted because he thinks he'd be able to totally hide how fucked up he's gonna get and trick the officers this time

 

[Maraschino]

That's why I think it's likely bullshit. He can't be that retarded.

This thread got over 4,000 pages this year. You underestimate how retarded he is.