💀 Horrorcow Nicholas Robert Rekieta / Rekieta "Law" / Actually Criminal / @NickRekieta / "u/Early-Leopard-8351" - Polysubstance abuser, child doser, dog killer. "Lawtube pope" turned zesty Dabbleverse Redditor streamer. Swinger "whitebread ass nigga" who snuffs animals and visits 🇯🇲 BBC resorts. Legally a cuckold. Still not over his ex Aaron. Wife's bod worth $50.

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Luna's expiration date is?

  • <1 year

    Votes: 155 22.6%
  • Around 2 years

    Votes: 276 40.3%
  • 3-5 years

    Votes: 92 13.4%
  • As long as a pug lives, Karen farmer.

    Votes: 162 23.6%

  • Total voters
    685
How long does settlement take in the US? Six weeks from exchange of contracts is the default here, although you can increase or decrease that by mutual agreement.
Usually 30 days, First week is going to be the inspection period for the buyer. 2nd week is any additional negotiation about what was found during the inspection. Last 2 weeks is the loan going through underwriting and closing. If it is a cash offer instead of a load then it could close sooner. Once it closes the price paid will become public record and we can see what the sales price was.
 
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Yes! I need smug conceited asshole Nick back. This infusion of cash will be what he needs to get his mojo back and be funny and weird again.

Going to be interesting to see how much he gets for it but regardless it will buy a mountain of cocaine!
Would Nick even get any money from it? Does he own it or does the trust/his parents own it?
 
Didn't realize that today's Li'l Nicky's birthday! Maybe he can give everyone else a present today & do *ahem* something with that knife he was supposed to auction off for Vic! (Just remember, Nick -- it's down the road, not across the street!)

On a more serious note, I really do hope that Monty puts a lien on Nick's property, as was suggested earlier. Not only would it be hilarious, but it's about the only way Monty will get paid... Well, aside from having to go through collections, but he might as well wait until after he wins the entire case for that to happen...
 
Happy birthday Nick! There's not a single person in your life who "loves" you who doesn't have some kind of ulterior motive like sucking your dick to get more cocaine!

Your wife hates you. Your in laws hate you. Though they'll never admit it deep down, your parents hate you. Your church hates you. Your community hates you. And if your children don't hate you yet, that's only because right now they're too young to understand why they ought to.

But anyway, like I said, happy birthday, champ!
 
I know people always point it out but it is wild to me how crazy Celeste Rekieta looks in every single photograph. I know not everyone is photogenic, but the fact she is always showing the top whites of her eyes is just very off-putting. Looks genuienly insane. Also it looks like she smiles with gritted teeth as well, who does that?
Absolutely none of the women in this Greek comedy can smile normally. Celeste looks insane, Whore has a perpetual case of Bell’s palsy, Qayla now looks like she’s sealed in Saran Wrap… it’s a hot mess.
 
Your wife hates you. Your in laws hate you. Though they'll never admit it deep down, your parents hate you. Your church hates you. Your community hates you. And if your children don't hate you yet, that's only because right now they're too young to understand why they ought to.
YOU'RE DEAD
RICARDO IS DEAD
ROMAINE IS DEAD
YOUR DEALERS ARE DEAD
YOUR KIDS ARE BEING ASSIGNED TO MELTON
YOUR WIFE'S A FUCKING WHORE
YOU SUCK AT DRIVING
THE WHOLE LAWTUBE HATES YOU
YOU'RE GOING TO REHAB
POUR YOURSELF A TALL ONE

BIRTHDAY'S OVER​
 
YOU'RE DEAD
RICARDO IS DEAD
ROMAINE IS DEAD
YOUR DEALERS ARE DEAD
YOUR KIDS ARE BEING ASSIGNED TO MELTON
YOUR WIFE'S A FUCKING WHORE
YOU SUCK AT DRIVING
THE WHOLE LAWTUBE HATES YOU
YOU'RE GOING TO REHAB
POUR YOURSELF A TALL ONE

BIRTHDAY'S OVER​
Ok, relax AM.

Nick has a mouth and must scream constantly.
 
With today being Rickety Rackets The Rail King’s birthday and the day before his plea, I think we may see some sperging out in the various pedo-zones he frequents. You know what that means. Alogs! Start! Your! Archives!!!
 
The look she has in some of the pictures that have been posted in this thread is unsettling in a way. I know the subject has been touched on before, but what could be the reasoning for this? Is this possibly a side effect of some medication she is taking? Do some people just not possess the ability to smile properly and they come off looking like psychos? How does she look back on these pictures and think, "Yeah, that looks good. I'll stick with that look when taking photos." SO WEIRD!
I have a whole theory about this, but I will spoil it for those who are tired of April.

TLDR: There are 4 stages and the contrasts are striking. She's an uneducated girl with a pretty face. Enter the Internet. She became increasingly performative and sexual. It's a sad story.

Note: I've tried to be fair and representative of each stage with the pics I've featured. Whenever her face is cropped out, APRIL did that.

Devin was her boyfriend before Aaron. During this period she presented as sweet, genuine and authentic.
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Important: Pics of Devin drop off after Nov. 2018 and there are only 7 posts until Aaron appears in Oct. 2020. That means almost 2 years of barely posting on IG. Aaron has reported that it was a bad breakup.

During this quiet post-Devin/pre-Aaron period, in Jan. of 2019 she reposted this Joe Rogan quote without comment. It has vague undertones of drug use and foreshadows distinctly what is happening today. (My highlighting.)

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As I've previously noted, during this period she posted almost frantically about her Vegas wedding. As for selfies, they shift to more sexy, sometimes lonely and performatively pensive as if she was playing a fierce, hot, sexy married woman (or something).
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Pics turn distinctly sexual, and performative.
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We know now that tensions with Ashley were ratcheting up during this period. She started posting dozens of pics with Aaron's kids (not shown here but many are sweet) and this maddening post celebrating her own Mother's Day and invoking "two parents" (there were four).

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When Nick took the pics (first three), April poses as if a model and, well, an object. The selfies appear sad, lonely and desperate with a brief THOT pic (Nick did not comment on that one).

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And, as we know, there are embarrassing efforts to communicate with Nick.
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Conclusion:
  • She wasn't always a sad and desperate person. The Internet + drugs + men + (probably) depression reveal a sad descent.
  • The Simpcast issue is usually ignored but that period demonstrates a sharp shift in April's unraveling.
  • Aaron has spoken at length about his mistakes with April. They seem on point: She should never have been on STMS. She couldn't handle the Internet blowback.
  • There is a side story about her weight. Aaron has said she used to regularly exercise 5x/week at their gym. She is obsessed with being under 120 lbs. Like Kayla, she seemed healthier and happier with a few more pounds on her. This pic is from before Aaron:
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  • Speaking of Kayla, a similar and parallel story can be told. It's not a stretch to say that Nick and Aaron suck the life out of their women. Were April and Kayla damaged before the men entered the picture? Probably. Did the women both make terrible decisions? Definitely. Sadly, the men didn't help. Quite the opposite.
 
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Faggot bar is closed on Monday. Tough luck, Balldo.
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They probably still haven't fixed everything from the fire damage anyway. That'll happen when you pack in that many flamers and pricks into a small space.
 
Ok, relax AM.

Nick has a mouth and must scream constantly.
He was referencing the NES friday the thirteenth game.

Re: Celeste Rekietas eyes. I dont think she is a crazy lady, Ive known many older women who as they got older just seem to have tighter facial skin and when they cut their bangs it makes them look that way.

Its like some sort of modern cave lady look and they often seem to have bulging eyes like Celeste but theyre normal nice old ladies.
 
Devin was her boyfriend before Aaron. During this period she presented as sweet, genuine and authentic.

As I've previously noted, during this period she posted almost frantically about her Vegas wedding. As for selfies, they shift to more sexy, sometimes lonely and performatively pensive as if she was playing a fierce, hot, sexy married woman (or something).

Conclusion:
  • She wasn't always a sad and desperate person. The Internet + drugs + men + (probably) depression reveal a sad descent.
  • The Simpcast issue is usually ignored but that period demonstrates a sharp shift in April's unraveling.
  • Aaron has spoken at length about his mistakes with April. They seem on point: She should never have been on STMS. She couldn't handle the Internet blowback.
This genuinely makes me a little sad. I hate to see a woman ruin her life because of Internet fame + bad choices with men. I've known a few women IRL who have made horrific choices in men and have had their lives fucked up (thankfully, not permanently). It wasn't in April's future to end up as a crackwhore for a 40+ year old burnt-out cuck coomer non-practicing lawyer.

I'm gonna get called a fag for writing this, but I will anyway: April, you're not reading this, but if you are, it's never too late to turn your life around. Flee! Run away! You have nothing to lose by leaving but everything to gain.
 
420k? Who is this retard? Obviously the buyer never did a walk-through
Depending on the county it could take some time since Zillow and these sites get most of their data from scrapping the county assessor database which lists the sale price of home and their assessed value for tax purposed. When the house was purchase in 2009 they bought it for $279k. Currently it is assessed at a total market value of $414.5k with $409.3k being the taxable value. As far as I am aware that $409.3k is the lowest a person would want to go when selling that house. Anything above the purchase price plus 20% to 30% of the sales price will be profit (the 20% to 30% sale price is a guess at the realtor's commission). The goal in home value and sale is to get the lowest taxable assessment (so you pay the least in property taxes) with the highest possible sale price. Though these are guidelines for property sales in suburban and urban areas with a steady demand. Either way once the sale is finalized and filed the county assessor pay will update showing the sale price for the home.
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Nick Rekieta turns 43 today.

Two years ago today Nick Rekieta celebrated his birthday at the Minneapolis gay bar Gay 90s, where Nick and his wife were caught on tape in the background of a Snapchat video talking with another man, with Kayla telling the unnamed and unseen hunk that Nick Rekieta, who turned 41 that day, had turned 41 that day.



The next day, Saturday December 17, Rekieta would return to the same gay bar for an underwear party. Rekieta admitted in his Locals chat that his wife attempted to emasculate him by pressuring him to "wear a thong to the underwear party that matched her underwear".

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When Rekieta returned to his show the following week, he admitted he had done MDMA over the weekend to an extent where he was still feeling the after-effects days later, but implied in the same stream it was okay because he wasn't doing drugs every day. This was the same stream where Rekieta rued that his wife's body had been "destroyed" for "thirteen, MINIMUM, thirteen years" by pregnancy (clip in linked post).



The next month, in January 2023, Rekieta complained that "people have this misconception" that he does "a bunch of drugs", saying they were freaking out over Nick relating "the few times ever in [his] life that [he] tried drugs out", insisting that he didn't do drugs "anywhere near like, real duties, like taking care of kids. I'm not gonna have any of that shit at home. That's crazy."


Two years and over 6,500 pages on Kiwi Farms later, a lot has changed.

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Nick Rekieta is celebrating his 43rd birthday by having to accept an offer on his second home, the one where he has put up his girlfriend, which is now pending sale.

While April Imholte may have to leave, at least Nick will still have his wife, whose body he described as "destroyed" and who Aaron Imholte claims told him that he was her "soulmate".

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Tomorrow, on December 17, the two year anniversary of Nick Rekieta going with his wife to an underwear party at the Gay 90s gay bar while on MDMA, which he insisted was okay because at least he wasn't doing drugs every day, Nick has a settlement conference in his felony drug possession case. Rekieta is charged with having a massive quantity of hard drugs in his home - something he insisted he would never do, admitting it would be "crazy" to have drugs in his home because of the nearby presence of his kids.

Based on his public statements and the overwhelming evidence against him, Rekieta is widely anticipated to accept a plea agreement tomorrow, though he was able to snatch a brief continuance the last time around.

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Assuming he does indicate his intent to plea guilty tomorrow, the Rekieta content well appears mostly dried up. The remaining points of interest appear to be loose ends from Nick Rekieta's 2 years of drug-fueled debauchery and total insanity: a trial scheduled for December 2025 for his alleged defamation of an elderly fringe streamer, Montagraph, and the possibility of Rekieta receiving additional charges related to his statements indicating knowledge of Aaron Imholte's private communications and browser history, knowledge which Rekieta could only have obtained by illicitly accessing Aaron's Internet account(s).

It's unclear to me whether Rekieta will ever stream again. He hasn't been on YouTube since August of this year, nearly 4 months, having streamed an average of 1.25 times per week in the 3 months prior on his obstensibly "every weeknight" show.
 
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