💼 Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

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When will Jack drop dead?

  • February-March 2024

    Votes: 6 0.4%

  • April-May 2024

    Votes: 6 0.4%

  • June-July 2024

    Votes: 17 1.1%

  • August-September 2024

    Votes: 34 2.2%

  • October-November 2024

    Votes: 37 2.4%

  • December 2024

    Votes: 44 2.8%

  • Sometime in 2025

    Votes: 258 16.6%

  • Sometime in 2026

    Votes: 252 16.2%

  • Jack lives forever. The Wendigo Must Consoom

    Votes: 902 58.0%
  • Total voters
    1,556
Doctor of Autism said:
Ties are one sided now

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Carnivore Jack is talking about Ice Cream now, but I guess since its dairy, he could weasel his way out of it

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Stroke Brain now wants to be a gamer

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No comment

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Jack straight up thinks that the overwhelming majority of the country supports Trump. In his deluded mind, polls like this are fake because the libs double/triple count each person and also include dead people in their tally or something. He has no clue about how polls work and his understanding of statistics is elementary school level. Charles is also like this; all clinical trials are rigged by big pharma but low quality nutrition studies that make it on the dailymail are gold standard.

What type of games did Jagoff even used to play before his strokes? There are plenty of good strategy or turn-based RPG games that a person in his position could enjoy but this impatient cretin blows a gasket whenever he ignores the directions and then fails to set up his new kitchen appliances. No way he would want to read or go through any type of learning curve.
 
EatBeforeYouEat said:
Jack straight up thinks that the overwhelming majority of the country supports Trump. In his deluded mind, polls like this are fake because the libs double/triple count each person and also include dead people in their tally or something. He has no clue about how polls work and his understanding of statistics is elementary school level. Charles is also like this; all clinical trials are rigged by big pharma but low quality nutrition studies that make it on the dailymail are gold standard.

What type of games did Jagoff even used to play before his strokes? There are plenty of good strategy or turn-based RPG games that a person in his position could enjoy but this impatient cretin blows a gasket whenever he ignores the directions and then fails to set up his new kitchen appliances. No way he would want to read or go through any type of learning curve.
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When all you listen to is one sided you tend to get a skewed view of things. Add to that he's in the south where Trump rules and everybody at his church is wanting to vote for Trump it makes sense that he'd think this was all fake news.

Flonominal88 said:
Don’t you need two hands to play the switch?
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You need two hands to do most things. Fatty is just trying to show he's with it and hip with the kids to get some of that sweet gamer cred.

Like when he did that video on "Gamer Food".


It's fucking retarded.
 
Are Christians genuinely so cucked that they worship jars of Jewish sand? 9C686B85-307C-4B73-B25F-2C2E29635DB8.jpeg
 
Postal Dude said:
Are Christians genuinely so cucked that they worship jars of Jewish sand?
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No, that's really weird and I've never heard of it before. Honestly comes across as idolatry, like you're praying to sand or the sand has some kind of powers by virtue of being from Israel. For all you know it could've come from an ancient cesspit or garbage dump.

I've heard of people collecting sand or soil during pilgrimages as a token of their journey, but not buying it online to use as a devotional. I'm not even sure what the symbolism of the sand is supposed to be in this case. Typically sand has a very penitential overtone in Christianity due to its association with Jesus' fast in the desert but he's not using a crucifix. A cross without the corpus symbolizes the Resurrection.

Some Catholic churches used to replace the holy water with sand during Lent until the Vatican basically told them it was a retarded idea and to stop doing it.
 
Adamska said:
No, only death cultists like Jack who want to see the people who made fun of him burn in hell due to thinking the Rapture is nigh do.

Fuck "No Man may know the time nor hour". This tub of shit thinks he knows it, since he thinks it's centered around him.
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Well to be fair, Jack is not human anymore, so he could know the time and the hour
 
SanctedElectromagnetism said:
one thing i find unique about Jack is how he, to this day! Despite being a "cooking channel" for years. Still can't accurately describe the flavor of the food he eats. He kinda just mentions that its good and yummy and he will eat up 2-5 more plates of it. Or really shallow descriptions that don't describe anything. He just goes "mmhmm you can really taste the pepper".
All thats missing is a proppa fuumbs upp imo
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I know Im quoting a really old post on this but I saw I had it left on the 'draft post' thing and its relevant again.

Hes the type of person who thinks along the lines of 'brain small, big things good'. He just likes if a place lets you get seconds, he doesnt care what it is. McDonalds is really missing out on this market because they dont realize you could serve him half a hamburger on two different plates and he would go 'I got two hamburgers'.

With the smash burg, hes got two patties but one bun and it isnt even big, so hes pissed and thinks someone is trying to bamboozle him. He got two smaller burgers, theyre ripping him off!
Rod Dangerous said:
You’re out for dinner with people you enjoy, respect, and maybe even love. You’re enjoying yourself, and your company is enjoying themselves. Your gaze wanders around the restaurant as you embrace your present surroundings. A lovely night out, to be sure. But that’s when you see this.

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lol I scrolled over this earlier before, but coming back and actually reading it--I realized it wasnt just him making a dumb fat face. I saw the meat chunk and honestly I thought it was something on his face, its flesh colored like hes ripping a chunk off or he got stabbed, his bad hand missed his mouth or something, I was like what the fuck?

But this image is so amazing. He looks like a fat, retarded, stroked out, nursing home cafeteria version of that still of Leonardo DiCaprio playing Gatsby in the movie.

'Great youtube channel Jack': the_great_gatsby_trailer_edited.jpg 'Dyuuh! Ids gud!':
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(ft. his dumb fat tongue)

Also I love his dick measuring over how he cant eat an 'overcooked' steak. It looks like its near the bone and there're a couple of dumb scenarios to get served a steak that raw but the funniest thing is him thugging it out and struggling to masticate and swallow and going 'Yeah THIS IS HOW A GOOD STEAK IS!' But tbf Ive had steaks that were a bit raw in the middle and they suck, they dont really have much flavor and the texture sucks. You need to cook it at least enough to have some of the marbling cook into it, that gives it the flavor.
 
Agamemnon Busmalis said:
I'm not even sure what the symbolism of the sand is supposed to be in this case.
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If I was being generous, I'd say that they're being hopeful it contains some grains of sand Jesus touched, like how back then people got scammed into buying bits of wood because they thought it was a splinter of the cross. But I'm not, so I assume it's dispensationalist horseshit about worshipping Israel.
 
Super Hans v2 said:
If I was being generous, I'd say that they're being hopeful it contains some grains of sand Jesus touched, like how back then people got scammed into buying bits of wood because they thought it was a splinter of the cross. But I'm not, so I assume it's dispensationalist horseshit about worshipping Israel.
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I mean, you could tell them that if Yeshua of Nazareth was a real person, mathematically they've got at least one molecule of water in their body right now that passed through his. Maybe they can be convinced never to piss ever again to preserve their 'holiness'.
 
Tiresome said:
I mean, you could tell them that if Yeshua of Nazareth was a real person, mathematically they've got at least one molecule of water in their body right now that passed through his. Maybe they can be convinced never to piss ever again to preserve their 'holiness'.
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Jack already probably craps once a week with his shitty diet, so it probably wouldn't be hard to do that
 
Tiresome said:
I mean, you could tell them that if Yeshua of Nazareth was a real person, mathematically they've got at least one molecule of water in their body right now that passed through his. Maybe they can be convinced never to piss ever again to preserve their 'holiness'.
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You're awfully optimistic regarding Jack's bladder control.
 
Postal Dude said:
Are Christians genuinely so cucked that they worship jars of Jewish sand? View attachment 6289467
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The type of Christian that would unironically do such a thing is exactly the kind of Christian Fatty is. I mean screw idolatry, this is sand from Israel. It's gotta be symbolic of something.

Also the malapropism made me giggle. It's a little on the nose considering what's been going on in Israel.
 
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