💼 Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

[I am Jack's dead arm]

Big mad about not being able to monetize his YouTube channel or X account, I guess.

He was salty but then had a moment of clarity and realized he doesn't even have 5K followers, and most of those are bots. So he got sad, but the little voice in his head said it was time for Blue's Clues. So Strokeboy was happy. Until he realized Tammy was actually "working" today (aka afternoon delight with Jim Traynor) and thus became awash with a wave of melancholy.


Truly a rollercoaster of emotions and a shining example of our Lord and Savior, Jack "I'm totally not fat or gay" Scalfani.

 

[AltisticRight]

Or you take the same amount of meat and smash it down making multiple patties with cheese sandwiched between them:

Smash burgers take a little bit of skill to make, something Jack does not have. He can't even make a patty properly.

What does he mean by any of this


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More AI generated slop, because the world doesn't have enough of that. You know something is fucked when an AI steak looks more appetising than Jack's disgusting concoctions.

 

[Uber driver reviewer]

Then it’s the previous one that was on the right side of the brain. He refuses to do anything to help himself, and this is what he gets. He’s going to keep declining and nothing of value will be lost.

Um he IS something to help himself .

It’s called Carnivore diet, and it’s helping a lot already. Do your own research on it.

 

[Super Hans v2]

What does he mean by any of this


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Jack's just pissy that Twitter pays out via impressions instead of whatever bullshit Jack thinks it should be, probably for just be a fat sack of shit with opinions even most boomers will call retarded.

But let's just say for argument's sake that Twitter made it so you didn't have to reach a specific impression threshold, reach a certain consistency, or pay for Twitter Blue. From the very little research I've done, Twitter pays out about $10 per million impressions you got, or 1/1000th of a cent per view. Assuming that the three posts you took are his usual, the average is 187 views. Jack's payout per post would be .187 cents, or more than five posts per penny, or to put it in more relatable terms, 13,530 posts per Taco Bell visit.

All I have to say is, make sure your phone's charged and you're stocked up on cough drops, fat ass.

 

[lindsayfan]

How can a grown adult who has been running a 'cooking' channel for 15 years be that amazed by a blue cheese dressing with ketchup in it (not my thing but whatever)?

he's also apparently never encountered melba toast.

jack declines to order his usual cut of steak because it costs more at an actual steakhouse than it does at Texas Roadhouse.

"look i got my butter all ready"
of course it's sysco. probably all the food in that restaurant is sysco.

these videos are so weird. the long, shaky/blurry pans of the menu, and then all the ritualized repetition.

"whuh've you got there?"
"it's the kitchen sink pizza. it's got all the toppings except green olives."
"alright. it's a pizza called the kitchen sink?
"yup."
"ok. kitchen sink pizza. and it's got all the toppings?
"except for green olives."
"all except green olives, guys."

 

[Falcon Sebben]

he's also apparently never encountered melba toast.

Was going to mention that.

How can you have lived in this country all your life and never encountered Melba toast?

"whuh've you got there?"
"it's the kitchen sink pizza. it's got all the toppings except green olives."
"alright. it's a pizza called the kitchen sink?
"yup."
"ok. kitchen sink pizza. and it's got all the toppings?
"except for green olives."
"all except green olives, guys."

He needs to make it look like he's being informative but in reality it's his strokebrain and he can't remember what he said thirty seconds ago.

 

[Blue Banana]

He's literally more stupid than a toddler, who understands concepts like conservation. He doesn't get that you can make a delicious double cheeseburger out of smash patties, which might be more enjoyable than the standard thickburger patty.

TORINO'S - SPRINGFIELD, TN​

(08/07/2024)

Original:
https://youtube.com/watch?v=wAoqPGJRKzoPreserve Tube: https://preservetube.com/watch?v=wAoqPGJRKzo

Spoiler: Archive (480p):

SaveTube.App-TORINO'S - SPRINGFIELD, TN.mp4

His insistence on struggling through eating chunks of practically raw steak, despite his obvious inability to swallow, makes me so fucking uncomfortable.

 

[EatBeforeYouEat]

Jagoff sure knows how to do a proper boycott.

 

[Quixotic Man]

he's also apparently never encountered melba toast.

jack declines to order his usual cut of steak because it costs more at an actual steakhouse than it does at Texas Roadhouse.

"look i got my butter all ready"View attachment 6285404
of course it's sysco. probably all the food in that restaurant is sysco.

these videos are so weird. the long, shaky/blurry pans of the menu, and then all the ritualized repetition.

"whuh've you got there?"
"it's the kitchen sink pizza. it's got all the toppings except green olives."
"alright. it's a pizza called the kitchen sink?
"yup."
"ok. kitchen sink pizza. and it's got all the toppings?
"except for green olives."
"all except green olives, guys."

Sysco can be perfectly fine. They products in very broad categories. Everything from fresh high quality steaks to the cheapest chicken nuggies you will ever see.

For my location, they have 38 kinds of butter to choose from. The fact that the this restaurant with the cheap-o butter chips isn't the best sign, but they do serve USDA choice beef, which is a step up from the USDA Select fatty usually eats raw.

Edit: I just noticed on their menu they say "Choice U.S. Meat." not "USDA Choice" meat. That seems like an attempt at trickery, so who knows what the fuck this boomer-ass Greek/Italian joint is serving.

 

[biggacracka]

"Choice U.S. Meat."

"How is this meat 'choice'?"
"I chose it"

 

[p1138]

Sysco can be perfectly fine. They products in very broad categories. Everything from fresh high quality steaks to the cheapest chicken nuggies you will ever see.

For my location, they have 38 kinds of butter to choose from. The fact that the this restaurant with the cheap-o butter chips isn't the best sign, but they do serve USDA choice beef, which is a step up from the USDA Select fatty usually eats raw.

Edit: I just noticed on their menu they say "Choice U.S. Meat." not "USDA Choice" meat. That seems like an attempt at trickery, so who knows what the fuck this boomer-ass Greek/Italian joint is serving.

most people have no idea wtf USDA choice actually means(including Fatty, even though based on his own inflated ego he SHOULD know), so it likely is some weird gypsy restaurant shit serving overpriced lower grade crap.

Of course that wouldn't even matter to Fatty in the long run anyway since he has no sense of anything and doesn't care other than MEAT GUD anyway.

 

[EatBeforeYouEat]

New JOTG intro

 

[Midnight Cooking]

How could @Hollywood Hulk Hogan do this to Rob?

 

[Tiresome]

454121645_1011144550335125_2158298015912405301_n.mp4

New JOTG intro

He would love it, it sounds like a goddamn Nickelodeon show intro from 1996. Despite how rotted his brain has gotten with the repeated massive irreversible vascular trauma, Jack has always been a retarded little boy.

Edit: Looks like it's old-style hip-pop from 1985, with a riff from the "Green Acres" theme song in the middle. I'm very surprised it's not "All You Can Eat" by the Fat Boys.

 

[Hollywood Hulk Hogan]

https://youtube.com/watch?v=ZKuubMITQRcHow could @Hollywood Hulk Hogan do this to Rob?

That was coordinated by that slanderous troll Bobby Heenan to make the Hulkster look bad, brother!

 

[Falcon Sebben]

Sysco can be perfectly fine. They products in very broad categories. Everything from fresh high quality steaks to the cheapest chicken nuggies you will ever see.

For my location, they have 38 kinds of butter to choose from. The fact that the this restaurant with the cheap-o butter chips isn't the best sign, but they do serve USDA choice beef, which is a step up from the USDA Select fatty usually eats raw.

Edit: I just noticed on their menu they say "Choice U.S. Meat." not "USDA Choice" meat. That seems like an attempt at trickery, so who knows what the fuck this boomer-ass Greek/Italian joint is serving.

All food service companies are like this. They sell good stuff and they sell absolute garbage. But if the biggest takeaway is they're using cheap butter who the fuck cares? They look to cut costs on everything and butter is just one of them. Why would you have high end butter unless that's a selling point? "Ask for our all natural grass-fed butter for only $0.25 a pat". You smear a bit of cheap butter on your bread and... so what? At least it's not margarine and yes I've seen places that have served margarine packs.

But it's all down to Fatty eating more fat than he should and pretending like he didn't eat any carbs.

https://youtube.com/watch?v=ZKuubMITQRcHow could @Hollywood Hulk Hogan do this to Rob?

Poor Rob. Sometimes things just don't go as planned.

Stay strong brother!

 

[Tiresome]

Rob, you magnificent pagan beast.

 

[Doctor of Autism]

Ties are one sided now



Carnivore Jack is talking about Ice Cream now, but I guess since its dairy, he could weasel his way out of it



Stroke Brain now wants to be a gamer



No comment

 

[semitooth]

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holy shit the reply on the video of a kid unloading 2 pistols is unironically hilarious

 

[Super Hans v2]

That has to be the most womanly, passive-aggressive, auto-read in a fag's lisp tweet from Jack in a long time. Must have forgot to eat before he 'ate'.