🍗 Deathfat Tess Holliday / Ryann Maegen Hoven - Beached Landwhale model, Body positive and social justice snacktivist, and gigantic fraud

[BohrokSwarms]

I thought this bitch was dead lmao wtf

 

[Dr. Butt]

Farmers bragging about how their package tour to Italy would be soooo much more authentick than Tess's sound just like the fatties who post to tell us what good fatties they are compared to Tess.

 

[Umaibae]

United Polaris seats aren’t very wide and the odd numbers have a table on the aisle you need to slip past. I would kill yo see get maneuver into those seats.

 

[The Hardest R]

To my recollection, Ryann hasn't flown internationally since 2019 (to participate in London Fashion Week.)

She flew to London one more time in 2021; it was the notorious trip where she became depressed and angry about something and her contributions dropped off for the following few weeks thereafter.

 

[GAY Ted Wheeler]

I’m always amazed these whales don’t DVT out on transatlantic flights. Really looking forward to seeing how miserably physically and mentally these whales are on this trip.

 

[multiverse]

She flew to London one more time in 2021; it was the notorious trip where she became depressed and angry about something and her contributions dropped off for the following few weeks thereafter.

I forgot all about that! We never found out what chapped her ass so badly, and then the trip was memory holed...

 

[Cheesegirl78]

I forgot all about that! We never found out what chapped her ass so badly, and then the trip was memory holed...

Was that the trip where she tried to get her old modeling agency to re-sign her, and they turned her down?

 

[multiverse]

Was that the trip where she tried to get her old modeling agency to re-sign her, and they turned her down?

That was our best tinfoil theory, yeah.

Tess, the absolute genius, quit / was fired from Milk Model Management by spring 2018 (she was signed around fall 2014.) She coasted on the gigs they had lined up for her through early 2019, when her paid work trickled to almost nada. She and Nikki broke up by the end of that year, when she could no longer afford to support them all and neither adult considered getting a real job. Then came the 2020 WuFlu, Tess and Bowie moving in with Jolene, and sending Rylee away to be raised by a different ex.

By the time restrictions eased enough for in person fashion events to resume in 2021, Tess was desperate to re-start her career in the same place it had taken off six years before: London. But she was slapped in the face with some brand of reality.

---

Anyway, here's Ten Ton sitting, eating, and drinking in Italy. They took her for a short waddle as well; bet she needed a rest after one block. She is at least three times bigger than any of the other group members.

 

[Narwhal]

Isn't this time of year kinda cheap in Southern Italy for hotels and such (mainly because no one with any sense is going to want to travel there when it's hotter than a snake's ass)?

Spoilered for length

Spoiler: Long sperg sorry

Absolutely not, if anything it's extremely expensive as it is high season. 90% of Italians spend their holidays in Italy, the vast majority of whom choose seaside towns or villages as Italians do love their seas and beaches.

Also important to remember is that internal migration is huge and since schools close from June to September many families who live in the Northern regions pack up their shit and spend the whole of summer in their regions of origins, i.e. the South (Sardinia doesn't really count but it gets really packed in the summer, especially in the North). Town that in the wintertime are absolutely dead suddenly spring back up to life, just like prices in restaurants, hotels, supermakets, etc. You know the drill.

For those who want to laze around on a beach and do fuck all it's becoming increasingly difficult to find somewhere that is not unbelievably crowded and does not cost a fortune. Apulia, Tuscany, Sicily and Sardinia are on average embarrassingly expensive, like eye-watering prices.

The only region I know of that is still affordable and has some good beach spots is Basilicata (where Macerata is). Calabria has nice places and is relatively cheap but the people are fucking awful, rude, treat tourists like shite and it can be very, very, very sketchy.

 

[The Hardest R]

Anyway, here's Ten Ton sitting, eating, and drinking in Italy. They took her for a short waddle as well; bet she needed a rest after one block. She is at least three times bigger than any of the other group members.

There’s no way she’d admit this but I bet she got angry at those European-sized portions.

Remember a couple years ago that Tess revealed that she had Italian ancestry? Nobody really cared but she thought she had pee oh cee cred by pretending to be Italian. I’m surprised she hasn’t claimed that she’s going back to her roots with this trip.

I forgot all about that! We never found out what chapped her ass so badly, and then the trip was memory holed...

I agree. We thought that over time she’d reveal what might’ve happened there but she never did, likely because it was likely a half assed Hail Mary shot to revive her dead and gay career. She’d think that by showing up in person they’d have no choice but to bring her back. It was enough to rattle her for the next several weeks. After her trip was also around the time Tubbers went back to Mississippi for the holidays. Some of us speculated that she tried to offload Bowie onto dear old dad and her stepmom around Thanksgiving 2021.

 

[Dafuqisdis?]

That was our best tinfoil theory, yeah.

Tess, the absolute genius, quit / was fired from Milk Model Management by spring 2018 (she was signed around fall 2014.) She coasted on the gigs they had lined up for her through early 2019, when her paid work trickled to almost nada. She and Nikki broke up by the end of that year, when she could no longer afford to support them all and neither adult considered getting a real job. Then came the 2020 WuFlu, Tess and Bowie moving in with Jolene, and sending Rylee away to be raised by a different ex.

By the time restrictions eased enough for in person fashion events to resume in 2021, Tess was desperate to re-start her career in the same place it had taken off six years before: London. But she was slapped in the face with some brand of reality.

---

Anyway, here's Ten Ton sitting, eating, and drinking in Italy. They took her for a short waddle as well; bet she needed a rest after one block. She is at least three times bigger than any of the other group members.
View attachment 6241545View attachment 6241546View attachment 6241548View attachment 6241550View attachment 6241552View attachment 6241553View attachment 6241554View attachment 6241555

Pictures of food plus a random building that she saw on her way to get food.

 

[IBrokeBob]

Pictures of food plus a random building that she saw on her way to get food.

Maybe there will be a fat friendly museum where she can see such works of art as the Mona Lisa.

 

[yousoundlikeanasshole]

Remember a couple years ago that Tess revealed that she had Italian ancestry? Nobody really cared but she thought she had pee oh cee cred by pretending to be Italian. I’m surprised she hasn’t claimed that she’s going back to her roots with this trip.

Funny that you mention that...

 

[The Hardest R]

Funny that you mention that...
View attachment 6243309

It’s almost like Tess forgot about about her revelation so when Jolene brought it up, she’s all “uh yeah haha.” I bet she had no idea what Jolene was talking about.

 

[Simon]

Pictures of food plus a random building that she saw on her way to get food.

She's posted one other location they visited since then but overwhelmingly the pics are of food. I hope whoever paid for her trip sees this is the 'value' you get with Tess. Two pics of Italy and 25 pics of food.

 

[GAY Ted Wheeler]

She's posted one other location they visited since then but overwhelmingly the pics are of food. I hope whoever paid for her trip sees this is the 'value' you get with Tess. Two pics of Italy and 25 pics of food.

To be fair what else is our Cake Farting Qween going to highlight?

She’s a terminal smooth brain so anything even remotely cultural, no matter how touristy, is going to be lost on her. She’s too much of a whale to enjoy anything outdoors that requires actual physical effort. That leaves you with the scootypuff ride from the hotel to the feedbag trough as potential documentation points of interests.

This trip to Italy is basically a glorified multitripper to Olive Garden.

 

[multiverse]

Looks like Tess was already on bedrest on her second day in Rome; her only day two photos are cribbed from someone else's insta posts, a fellow fat girl tour traveler who is a much better photographer. She herself managed to post two more photos of scenery, one of tiramisu, and one of her bed with a stuffed animal.

 

[Cowpies]

Her 'child' the stuffed lobster. How about those other, human kids you have Tess?

 

[Angry New Ager]

Her 'child' the stuffed lobster. How about those other, human kids you have Tess?

And why the fuck did she haul a stuffed crustacean toy (I thought it was a prawn) all the way to Italy? When I saw it in her bag I thought, "Well, maybe it's a gift for somebody else on the tour." I guess not.

But here I am again, assuming that an adult will behave like an actual grown-up, and make adult decisions, instead of acting like a superannuated child.

 

[just lurking]

Her 'child' the stuffed lobster. How about those other, human kids you have Tess?

I dont think thats a lobster, it has no claws. I thought it was a shrimp personally