💼 Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

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When will Jack drop dead?

  • February-March 2024

    Votes: 6 0.4%

  • April-May 2024

    Votes: 6 0.4%

  • June-July 2024

    Votes: 17 1.1%

  • August-September 2024

    Votes: 34 2.2%

  • October-November 2024

    Votes: 37 2.4%

  • December 2024

    Votes: 44 2.8%

  • Sometime in 2025

    Votes: 258 16.6%

  • Sometime in 2026

    Votes: 252 16.2%

  • Jack lives forever. The Wendigo Must Consoom

    Votes: 902 58.0%
  • Total voters
    1,556
Andoxico said:
A tale in two pictures:
View attachment 6131429 View attachment 6131427

Fatty can't even be bothered to take a picture of the delivered appliances or the apparently busted up oven. How would someone even manage to break an oven made of metal without obvious damage to the packaging? I hope they opened it to check which appliance was broken and Samsung refuses to replace it because the package was opened :story:
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Knowing Jack, it's probably 'broken' because he didn't specify to the contractor he wanted a gas hookup.
 
SoyJack

449363245_10161649289789583_4837478888165088607_n.jpg 449309980_10161649290239583_1068549269803246063_n.jpg
 
densedance said:
Had this topic in Culinary School. It's crazy, yes, those are Cherries. But they literally get bleached into oblivion (they turn literally Albino), then getting another chemical water bad to get rid of the acid & then get that colour with something that is considered questionable healthwise. It's called Erythrosin if I remember it correctly.
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The worst part is? You can get them in just about every color out there.

cherries.jpg

Of course they're flavored but still... this is nasty.
 
Falcon Sebben said:
Of course they're flavored but still...
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Yeah but so are the cherry cherries. That was kinda my entire point. It's not just the red dye that's artificial.

1719549511179.png

I'd say that the texture of the cherries is the only thing that's "natural" about them, but with all those preservatives I don't think I could do it and still manage to keep a straight face.
 
Andoxico said:
A tale in two pictures:
View attachment 6131429 View attachment 6131427

Fatty can't even be bothered to take a picture of the delivered appliances or the apparently busted up oven. How would someone even manage to break an oven made of metal without obvious damage to the packaging? I hope they opened it to check which appliance was broken and Samsung refuses to replace it because the package was opened :story:
Click to expand...
Samsung?
Can't this fat sack of shit get something that won't break in 3 years? Miele or Viking might be too much but there's a bunch of good American brands. General Electric's stuff is still pretty good even after a Chinese buyout. Whirlpool is decent as well, both of these are on the same general price level as Samsung or LG which has many common issues, such as the icemaker failing and the freezer throwing up.

I look forward to those Samsung garbage appliances failing on him.
 
lupinthethird said:
Incredibly off topic but it's amazing that Darksydephil has a much worse case of stroke mouth than someone that actually suffered a stroke.
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Which begs the question: which will prevail over the other? Pigroach luck or the wendigo’s insatiable need for meat?

(I want to say that DSP will outlive another for the memes, but it’s genuinely amazing what modern medicine has done to keep Jack barely alive.)
 
AltisticRight said:
Samsung?
Can't this fat sack of shit get something that won't break in 3 years? Miele or Viking might be too much but there's a bunch of good American brands. General Electric's stuff is still pretty good even after a Chinese buyout. Whirlpool is decent as well, both of these are on the same general price level as Samsung or LG which has many common issues, such as the icemaker failing and the freezer throwing up.

I look forward to those Samsung garbage appliances failing on him.
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What does he care? It's Tammy's money
 
I'd fucking love if we could get a video of Jack freaking the fuck out on appliance delivery. We're not that lucky, he never uploads shit that obviously makes him look bad.
 
Marc said:
Rather than clicking the alert menu (bell), click your username to the left of it and then "reactions received." Josh has further sabotaged that by setting the reaction tallies to exaggerated numbers.
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I knew about Dear Ooperator disabling notifications for reactions, but I wasn't aware of the "workaround" and its uselessness. It's hilarious, though, specially the way it isn't consistent; my profile shows a "total" of 640k reactions received, but a few categories, such as "like" and "lunacy" have way more than that. I don't know why this makes me laugh so hard, but I'm loving it.
 
Kosher Salt said:
Yeah but so are the cherry cherries. That was kinda my entire point. It's not just the red dye that's artificial.

View attachment 6132767

I'd say that the texture of the cherries is the only thing that's "natural" about them, but with all those preservatives I don't think I could do it and still manage to keep a straight face.
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What I meant was those other colors are flavored something OTHER than cherry.

Look at this picture I already posted:
cherries.jpg

The yellow ones are lemon flavored. The pink ones are passion fruit flavored. The green ones are lime flavored and so on.

Yeah it's artificial shit but it's still not "cherry" flavored.

Tiresome said:
That drill is never going to bite, there's no mass inside to grab. It's going to spit and spark and bounce off the inside of the skull until smoke pours out of Jack's ears.
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You say that like it's a bad thing.

AltisticRight said:
Samsung?
Can't this fat sack of shit get something that won't break in 3 years? Miele or Viking might be too much but there's a bunch of good American brands. General Electric's stuff is still pretty good even after a Chinese buyout. Whirlpool is decent as well, both of these are on the same general price level as Samsung or LG which has many common issues, such as the icemaker failing and the freezer throwing up.

I look forward to those Samsung garbage appliances failing on him.
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Probably got them cheap at Best Buy or something. You know he's a consumer whore for them.

EDIT: Spelling.
 
ZipDisk said:
he never uploads shit that obviously makes him look bad.
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My eyes are going to have to disagree with that (any PR team would tell Jack to remove everything he's ever published, then re-brand after having a sex change): The Motorized Blob and His Whale of a Wife only whip out the camera when they need evidence for writing a frivolous transaction off as a business expense (such as during fast food trips immediately preceding and following dietician appointments they leave the Tennessee taxpayers to foot the bill for).

Jack won't go through the trouble of asking Tammy to film him reacting to a "studio" appliance delivery because; in their minds, that shit is already written off. Even if Jack doesn't live long enough to use it, Tammy will ensure there's Youtube footage of someone else highlighting the shitboxes in a "studio tour" video, for the sake of the grift. Jack's entire online presence is for the sake of subsidizing a broke and generally disliked invalid's fantasies of having more money than he does and being more than he is.
 
The saddest part of Jack’s decline is that he’s simply stopped making interesting content, good or bad, and this thread I’ve spent years posting in with you all is destined to fade away into endless debates about Amerislop pastries and synthetic cheese products
 
Tiresome said:
That drill is never going to bite, there's no mass inside to grab. It's going to spit and spark and bounce off the inside of the skull until smoke pours out of Jack's ears.
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Surgeon: "Didn't I tell you to turn off the drill?"
Assistant: "I did, and I don't know where that motor noise is coming from..."
(cuts to Jack drooling and doing a monotonous "guuuuuuuuuuuuud"...)
 
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