Sung to the tune of Bo Burnham's "Welcome to the Internet"
Welcome to the interwebs, have a look around
Any cow that brain of yours can think of can be found
We’ve got mountains of lawsuits, some funny, some weird
Too bad Lawsplaining at this point has just disappeared
Welcome to the interwebs, I'll take your coats and hats
Would you like to see some week-old news or dueling ceiling cats?
He hasn’t changed one bit, isn’t that right, Still-Life?
Just wait for half an hour while he “checks his wife”
Welcome to the interwebs, gather ‘round here folks
Would you like to see him stand up for some shitty racial jokes?
Dear Johnny, oh Mandy, fuck you Joshua Moon
He’s got a million dead pet toasts to consume
Welcome to the interwebs, things have gone awry
Here’s him impotently lashing out at Eric D. July
He’s got paintings and Balldos and a Mustang he crashed
And the Sonichu medallion that leaves the life and career of the holder irreperably trashed
Welcome to the interwebs, hold on to your socks
‘Cause he inserted a bottle up his pasty white buttocks
It is random and off-putting, his wife did it too
And now they’re swinging at Hedonism II
See him get aroused by Anime Sucks Cope & Sneed
Show him pictures of your underwear and what lies underneath
Trading wives and snorting coke with his new friend Aaron Imholte
And now Monty's suing him for defamation that he called him a pe-
Please donate to #IStandWithVic Ty just blew the case
Here’s him fellating his bottle with that Chalie Manson face
Which futa cock do you prefer? Take this quirky quiz
The Deep State sent the CPS to take away his kids
Could I interest you in everything, all of the time?
A little bit of everything, all of the time?
Child neglect’s a tragedy and drug use is a crime
Anything and everything, all of the time
Could I interest you in everything, all of the time?
A little bit of everything, all of the time?
Child neglect’s a tragedy and drug use is a crime
Anything and everything, all of the time
You know, it wasn’t always like this
Not very long ago, just before the coof
Back when he was posing as a wholesome Christian goof
This was boomer memes, Chad Dad streams, the Maddox suit too
We set our sights, spent our nights, waiting
For you, you, insatiable you
Dax and EVS and Vito undermined you too
And you did all the things we warned you not to do
Now look at you, oh, look at you
You, you, unstoppable, laughable
Your time is now, your inside’s out, honey how you’ve grew
With the substance withdrawal, who knows what you’ll do
It was always the aim, to let the world see your shame
Could I interest you in everything, all of the time?
A bit of everything, all of the time?
Child neglect’s a tragedy and drug use is a crime
Anything and everything, all of the time
Could I interest you in everything, all of the time?
A little bit of everything, all of the time?
Child neglect’s a tragedy and drug use is a crime
Anything and everything, and anything and everything, and anything and everything, all of the time