My wife resents me
Discussion
I (m2f, 3

just had a long talk with my wife (f, 37) about some things. I came out to her in July last year and started hormones in August. She's mostly been supportive and wonderful throughout but if we're being honest she's clearly been quietly unhappy with me. There's a few factors contributing to this. First, we have kids (7, 3, and 3) and I'm still not out publicly or to family. I'm out to select friends. I know this is taking a toll on her and I'm working towards coming out to family. I'm in therapy, it's taking a while to process my trauma and the resultant depression. I've been doing a lot of stuff for myself, stuff that I've struggled to do for the family such as finding therapy and coordinating social calendars.
Essentially I was so depressed (and didn't even realize it) that I was mostly incapable of doing these things. I finally feel like I'm coming out of my lifelong depression but, in her eyes, I'm focusing on myself and not our family. So much so that she admitted today that she resents me for it. She resents that I actually am capable of being a grown ass person who can be responsible and get things done, but that I only care about doing it for myself.
She's not wrong. Most of our marriage I've basically let her lead on everything, and it only got more pronounced as kids have come along. Everything was just so overwhelming for me. I couldn't organize or plan anything, and in many ways I just checked out. I felt that I contributed in other ways such as keeping the house clean and doing daily chores like dishes and laundry. But to be honest I did a shit job of that as my depression got worse.
Fast forward to now and I'm getting better and handing things more, but apparently this has made her resentful because she feels like before she and the kids weren't good enough for me to care about and put in this effort. This past weekend was her birthday and I really dropped the ball. I won't get into specifics but I fucked up.
We agreed it's time for couples therapy. She is in therapy already herself and has been working on this for herself but it's time for us to work together.
Has anyone else dealt with something similar?