Oh to be a fly on the wall for the Tomlinson board meeting....
Exec 1: And now to the next item on our list, Patrick Tomlinson...
Exec 2: I've heard of that guy. Isn't he always getting into arguments on Twitter?
Exec 3: According to my notes, he fights with his fellow authors, readers, and apparently his own toilet.
Exec 2: Wait, did you say his toilet?
Exec 3: Yup, there's a guy who pretends to be his toilet and apparently Mr. Tomlinson won't stop fighting with him.
Exec 2: *facepalms* Good Lord!
Exec 1: Let's see what else is here... Apparently one of our female attendees say he's been harassing her and other female authors.
Exec 4: Aww hell naw, he gone!
Exec 1: And there's the issue with all the threats we get whenever he comes to a convention.
Exec 5: Yeah I heard about that. Apparently he calls those in against himself?
Exec 1: It's hard to tell. He feeds so much into his own BS it's a never-ending cycle with him and his "stalker children."
Exec 4: I met his ass once. Did you know this nigga's bitch tits jiggle when he talks?
Exec 1: Let's call a vote. All in favor for banning Patrick Tomlinson from our conventions?
Everyone: Aye!
Exec 1: The motion passes. Now onto the next item, whether or not to allow attendees to say the word "pedophile" around the SFWA members...
