A Quiet Place was overrated, but it was fine for what it was. I never cared for its sequel and this one does not even look better, and the fact that you called it a better version of Will Smith in I Am Legend is already a very low bar
/horror/ general megathread - Let's talk about movies and shit.
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- Feb 24, 2016
If I want to see blind monsters that hunt by sound, I will stick with Tremors, thank you very much.
- Joined
- Apr 14, 2018
Any tension from the A Quiet Place movies really is gone when the monsters can be killed easily, since all it requires is bullets and high frequency noises, both of which are common in big cities.
- Joined
- Feb 19, 2020
Orphan, The Tingler, The Hunchback of Notre Dame (w/ Lon Cheney) and hell, even Freddy's Dead: The Final Nightmare are horror movies that are better than A Quiet Place
- Joined
- Feb 3, 2013
I think "Amityville II" is pretty cool.
Tootsie Bear
kiwifarms.net
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- Jun 24, 2014
It was better than the first movie in my opinion. More of a thriller than the slow burn of the first movie.
- Joined
- Oct 3, 2018
God the CGI in I Am Legend was such a retarded choice by the director.
- Joined
- Aug 11, 2019
Oh man this just reeks of escalation
The first movie had the monsters rarely being seem and a single one was shown to be able to slaughter crowds of people with ease with its insanely high speed. You just couldnt out run these things and direct confrontation wasnt an option until their very obvious weak spot was revealed. The second movie already had them appearing more since now they could be killed or at least avoided (water was also proven to kill them, which, wow, you mean to tell me these beings can apparently survive their planet going kaput and then travelling countless lightyears in airless space and then crash landing...and water is what does them in? Who fucking wrote this?)
Now that the "death angels" (dumb name) are just another monster because they have two weaknesses, one obvious and one that doesnt make sense. With all of that, now any movie that has them needs to throw a shit load of them and have our main characters running away from them even tho the first movie made it clear that you are pretty much dead the moment you are in their radar.
So all this is just more milking of this series when I think the concept only truly worked for a single movie and thats really it.
But hey, we watch New York and its citizens get destroyed so thats a plus in my book.
- Joined
- May 4, 2022
Maybe it will be like Jason Takes Manhattan and 80% of it will be on a boat.
- Joined
- Jun 6, 2020
The title alongside the thumbnail looks like it could be for a Jordan Peele blockbuster where a brave African-American must survive the daunting task of not making noise to the point of distraction in an otherwise all white movie theatre. It'd be a very surreal experience to watch it as a moviegoer.
- Joined
- Oct 3, 2018
Good luck suspending your disbelief with that one.
- Joined
- Feb 24, 2016
So, they took the climax from Signs that would be mocked by future online film critics and decided to it put in their sequel?
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Journos and normie audiences will eat this movie up for being more "deep" and "philosophical" than Signs just 22 years prior
Lone Star
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- Nov 10, 2021
Just show her a paper with "nigger" written on it and she'll take herself out.
- Joined
- Feb 24, 2016
I found this adaptation of the well-known creepypasta to be pretty good. It changes up the time period and country (1960s England) and it gives time to give backstories on the subjects. There are also some creative twists including the change to the ending. It feels more grounded if you know how the original story ended, which I think makes the adaptation superior to the source material.
Battlefield2142EU
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- Dec 15, 2022
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- Feb 17, 2023
Which is a shame because the first half-ish of the movie is very strong despite the awful CGI. It sucks that there's no truly great and faithful adaptation of the Matheson novella.
- Joined
- Oct 3, 2022
Caught most of The History Of The Occult (2020)
nice enough, I suspect I'll enjoy the USA remake more since I can better appreciate USA retro tv kitsch over Argentine retro tv
nice enough, I suspect I'll enjoy the USA remake more since I can better appreciate USA retro tv kitsch over Argentine retro tv
- Joined
- May 4, 2022
I haven't seen any actual horror movies lately, but I've seen two horror adjacent movies, and one is worth writing about. But I'm going to write about both of them anyway.
Gone in the Night
Not really a horror, although it has some horror aspects. I guess it's supposed to be a thriller but it's about as thrilling as it is scary, which is to say not at all.
I feel kind of bad for Winona Ryder. She's had like one decent movie role in the past 15 years (Experimenter (2015) - and even that was pretty subdued). I mean she's not a great actress, but at least she's charismatic and not annoying as shit, which makes her a thousand times better than most current year actresses. She only does about one movie a year, but doesn't seem very selective, since they're all shitty. Or either she's only getting offered very few movies, which just doesn't seem likely since she has name recognition. Anyway, sorry about the tangent.
Winona Ryder reprises her role from Stranger Things, only she doesn't have kids, and is hooked up with a guy half her age. Only he's a complete douchebag, and I'm not sure why she's into him; he's not attractive enough to be like a trophy boyfriend (and she's not rich enough to have one). But their relationship is actually one of the things in this movie that makes the most sense. It's kind of previewed as another AirBnB mixup horror movie (although we're retroactively shown that this wasn't actually the case), but then it goes off in a couple different directions.
It's boring and tedious in every scene. Everyone is retarded and talks like a fucking millennial meme except Winona. Nothing makes sense (even after the flashbacks "explain" things). Really the only reason I watched until the end was because Ryder was refreshingly un-annoying (a fucking novelty these days), and because I knew what the ending was, and wanted to see it. It's not worth the wait. I've never seen a "climax" so utterly botched. It's almost comical how non-sensical and boring it is. I literally almost fell asleep during the climax of the movie. I think the scene is 10-15 minutes long. Literally the only positive of the movie is the 45 seconds of denouement at the very end, and hoo boy is it NOT worth the journey. It's really a waste of a pretty good premise; get rid of the AirBnB angle, get a non-shit supporting cast, cut out 30 minutes of garbage, start from scratch, and you MIGHT just have a mediocre movie.
0/5 stars; no titties, no gore (again, to be fair, it's supposed to be a thriller, not a horror, but they advertise it as horror-thriller, so fuck them); boring and stupid, no redeeming qualities.
El Conde (The Count)
An Argentinian film (I watched with subtitles, but the narration is in English, and a lot of the dialogue is in French (which I understand) rather than Spanish (which I mostly don't)...so basically, I don't know how the dubbing is (I typically can't stand any dubbing), but unless you're tri-lingual, you're gonna need subtitles for this in any case) about our hero Augusto Pinochet, if he was actually a vampire who faked his death. That seems like a spoiler, but they spell it out in the initial narration, so it isn't.
Vampire Pinochet wants to die, but is having a hard time doing so, despite not drinking blood or eating hearts (which rejuvenates this movie's strain of vamps). His adult children have come back to the farm to audit and divide his vast fortune. His wife, who he has not vampirized is having an affair with his butler/manservant/brutal-death-squad leader who he has vampirized.
Also there's an accountant who's actually a nun who wants to kill him, but also save what's left of his soul. And also steal whatever she can from him for the church.
Anyway, I loved this movie. It's a ton of fun.
I was reminded a lot of Disco Elysium, where a communist auteur writes something that seems like they're trying to make fascists look bad and communism look good, but ends up doing the complete opposite. However, this film is much less overtly political, surprisingly. It almost excuses Pinochet for all the things he's painted as (I mean he can't help it, he's a damn vampire...and he's doing it for a sort of love). And literally everyone else in the film is painted with an even worse brush than him (although to be fair, it's only his kids/family and the church). But Pinochet is by far the most (only) sympathetic character in it.
The nun has a great arc in the story, and I honestly wasn't sure which way it was going to go with her. Her thread in the film seems like it could've gone in three obvious directions, any of which would've been good, and then winds up going a fourth way, which was much, much bleaker, and satisfying.
It's maybe a tad bit too long, at just under two hours, but there's always something going on, there's no real wasted scenes. It's in black and white, but it's not really a detriment, and there's some very interesting and beautiful scenes in it.
It's got a lot of really funny parts, but I wouldn't even call it a horror comedy; more of a black comedy with horror elements.
4/5 - Despite not being a real horror movie, it's got some good gore and some brutal violence. There's even some titties in it (though brief). All in all, a very unique film, kind of the intersection of Wes Anderson and Gaspar Noe, but with its own confident spin. It even has a fun and satisfying ending that I was happy about.
Minor spoiler, if you're not sold already:
. And if that doesn't pique your interest, you probably won't enjoy this movie.
Gone in the Night
Not really a horror, although it has some horror aspects. I guess it's supposed to be a thriller but it's about as thrilling as it is scary, which is to say not at all.
I feel kind of bad for Winona Ryder. She's had like one decent movie role in the past 15 years (Experimenter (2015) - and even that was pretty subdued). I mean she's not a great actress, but at least she's charismatic and not annoying as shit, which makes her a thousand times better than most current year actresses. She only does about one movie a year, but doesn't seem very selective, since they're all shitty. Or either she's only getting offered very few movies, which just doesn't seem likely since she has name recognition. Anyway, sorry about the tangent.
Winona Ryder reprises her role from Stranger Things, only she doesn't have kids, and is hooked up with a guy half her age. Only he's a complete douchebag, and I'm not sure why she's into him; he's not attractive enough to be like a trophy boyfriend (and she's not rich enough to have one). But their relationship is actually one of the things in this movie that makes the most sense. It's kind of previewed as another AirBnB mixup horror movie (although we're retroactively shown that this wasn't actually the case), but then it goes off in a couple different directions.
It's boring and tedious in every scene. Everyone is retarded and talks like a fucking millennial meme except Winona. Nothing makes sense (even after the flashbacks "explain" things). Really the only reason I watched until the end was because Ryder was refreshingly un-annoying (a fucking novelty these days), and because I knew what the ending was, and wanted to see it. It's not worth the wait. I've never seen a "climax" so utterly botched. It's almost comical how non-sensical and boring it is. I literally almost fell asleep during the climax of the movie. I think the scene is 10-15 minutes long. Literally the only positive of the movie is the 45 seconds of denouement at the very end, and hoo boy is it NOT worth the journey. It's really a waste of a pretty good premise; get rid of the AirBnB angle, get a non-shit supporting cast, cut out 30 minutes of garbage, start from scratch, and you MIGHT just have a mediocre movie.
0/5 stars; no titties, no gore (again, to be fair, it's supposed to be a thriller, not a horror, but they advertise it as horror-thriller, so fuck them); boring and stupid, no redeeming qualities.
El Conde (The Count)
An Argentinian film (I watched with subtitles, but the narration is in English, and a lot of the dialogue is in French (which I understand) rather than Spanish (which I mostly don't)...so basically, I don't know how the dubbing is (I typically can't stand any dubbing), but unless you're tri-lingual, you're gonna need subtitles for this in any case) about our hero Augusto Pinochet, if he was actually a vampire who faked his death. That seems like a spoiler, but they spell it out in the initial narration, so it isn't.
Vampire Pinochet wants to die, but is having a hard time doing so, despite not drinking blood or eating hearts (which rejuvenates this movie's strain of vamps). His adult children have come back to the farm to audit and divide his vast fortune. His wife, who he has not vampirized is having an affair with his butler/manservant/brutal-death-squad leader who he has vampirized.
Also there's an accountant who's actually a nun who wants to kill him, but also save what's left of his soul. And also steal whatever she can from him for the church.
Anyway, I loved this movie. It's a ton of fun.
I was reminded a lot of Disco Elysium, where a communist auteur writes something that seems like they're trying to make fascists look bad and communism look good, but ends up doing the complete opposite. However, this film is much less overtly political, surprisingly. It almost excuses Pinochet for all the things he's painted as (I mean he can't help it, he's a damn vampire...and he's doing it for a sort of love). And literally everyone else in the film is painted with an even worse brush than him (although to be fair, it's only his kids/family and the church). But Pinochet is by far the most (only) sympathetic character in it.
The nun has a great arc in the story, and I honestly wasn't sure which way it was going to go with her. Her thread in the film seems like it could've gone in three obvious directions, any of which would've been good, and then winds up going a fourth way, which was much, much bleaker, and satisfying.
It's maybe a tad bit too long, at just under two hours, but there's always something going on, there's no real wasted scenes. It's in black and white, but it's not really a detriment, and there's some very interesting and beautiful scenes in it.
It's got a lot of really funny parts, but I wouldn't even call it a horror comedy; more of a black comedy with horror elements.
4/5 - Despite not being a real horror movie, it's got some good gore and some brutal violence. There's even some titties in it (though brief). All in all, a very unique film, kind of the intersection of Wes Anderson and Gaspar Noe, but with its own confident spin. It even has a fun and satisfying ending that I was happy about.
Minor spoiler, if you're not sold already:
It turns out that Margaret Thatcher, who is narrating, is also a vampire, and is Pinochet's mother who comes to rescue/reclaim him