💼 Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

[Gulls on Film]

In true fat retard fashion, Jack enjoys a light snack of 1lb of barely cooked beef and a whole block of cheese cut into cubes. I don't need to count calories to lose weight, okay MOM?!

I'm no expert grillmaster, but to me that steak doesn't even look rare. Way too much unrendered fat and connective tissue on some of those pieces. But it wouldn't be a proper Jackmeal without him consuming raw flesh and contracting some form of deadly bacteria/parasite

View attachment 5669519

I don't even think that's steak, I think Tammy is begrudgingly going along with his "diet" by buying the cheapest chuck roasts possible and telling him he has to cook it himself, which creates these abominations. I do have to admit though that eating a piece of meat that is somehow still pink on every side is quite the power move.

 

[Bassomatic]

Jack is such a smug fucker.


Didn't they get some COVID windfall PPP or something?


Neither of these loans should have come out nor been forgiven. But I digress, it's more important to impoverish others so Jack feels rich.


People have different opinions on it and the economics speaks towards one way but I won't get into that. Jack legit isn't invested in either as he doesn't work or pay taxes.


He really just wants to see others suffer because he's hateful. Crabs in a box is too kind a term. Bri, if anyone should be forgiven loans is her a medical leave, devolved to care taking the scafatty clan.


While he's incredibly selfish, I think his ego also kicks in he kinda is aware (even if only from reading here) Jr is a failure to launch. (Not a big shock considering his parenting) Jack doesn't like seeing 20 somethings do well because Jack's son and name sake keeps falling behind the curve.


In some fucked up way that's as close as Jack gets to love "dear America throw your kids underneath the bus so my retarded kid looks better"


That kinda disgust and hate being the closest jack has to caring makes me thankful he's too gimped to use his shotgun less he Chris Benoit the family because how could they make it with out him?


Going back to earlier how short he is, friend of mine has been on a few local cable things as his line of work needs lots of seasonal help, he's a bit over 6'4" so quite tall and even in seated segments they will do some tricks to equal out the heights. I'm sure Jack was on a box next to Montel (speaking of he might need a thread if anyone knows about how he loves helping the poor black community by pushing predatory loans and the such, using ironically the same fake Christian nice Jack has but with much more success).


He's really on an angry kick lately I hope with his fake food rant people do the (((them))) because it'll fly right past stroke brain. Nothing social media likes more than anti Semitic spam walls

 

[Charlie Delicious]

Bacteria Steak

This is the classic Jack content I've been craving

 

[p1138]

He also did it at 120 which is kind of danger zone shit. You could probably get a decent result with 140 for 24 hours. Some people like doing chuck like a steak. As for me, I almost always do a roast with it, or have them grind it for a great lean hamburger.

"so we set the temperature to 120 because that is the rare that I like"

THAT'S FUCKING RAW.

This man has a drawer full of meat thermometers, and cooks a fucking chuck roast to 120? No wonder his "lunch" looked like a fucking raw mess. He'd have been better off just doing his half-assed sear as it came out of the fridge than bothering with the fucking sous vide, because he just let bacteria grow for half a day. Even the little "crust" he thinks he put on there... that's not a fucking crust either. He just warmed it a bit. And with the 30+ knife sets he's bought, Tammy can't fucking cut through it for shit because the damned connective tissue and shit isn't cooked. And the fact that he managed to do this with a god damned sous vide... how is he this fucking stupid? ALMOST EVERY DAMNED MEAT THERMOMETER HAS A LITTLE CHART ON IT. I don't even think my fucking sous vide starts at 120.

 

[Begemot]

His stomach must be stretched to the size of his head at this point, there's no other explanation. That is an immense amount of food, and its meat - protein already does an outsized job at making you feel full. Not to mention all the water he'll need to manage to scarf it all down - assuming he wasn't chugging something sugary instead. But atop of that, what even has him so hungry to want a whole goddamned chicken? Presumably he had breakfast, and he's not moving much. I wonder if his absolute butchery of this diet has thrown off his bodies meager balance, and what its trying to get him to actually eat to balance shit out.

I genuinely don't know how he'll even have an appetite for dinner at that point. No way his stomach empties an entire fucking chicken.

Does anyone remember the hunger demon in the first issue of Hellblazer where the fat guy eats everything in an entire restaurant and tried to eat people in the street before dying gracelessly? There might be a lesson or a precursor there...

 

[James done did it]

Man it feels like it's been awhile since we got such good pink meat kino.

 

[Hungry Homeless Handjob]

Am I Tired Of Meat? - 1/27/24 Livestream

• The answer is no.
• Today is exactly one year since the stroke!
• Jack loves being on a diet that lets him eat his favorite food every day (steak). He claims his nasal mucus is not as thick now and his walking is "more confident". His arm also does not want to curl up as much and hangs down loose now.
• Jack claims he doesn't snack anymore and just eats as much meat as he wants. "I can eat ten chuck roasts if I wanted" He also wants to experiment with something called "meat flour".
• Football talk for a while. Some whining about air fryers and whether or not mustard is carnivore. Some tidbits about the upcoming F As In Frank.
• The chat members are riffing on Jack, pretending to not know what the dehydrator is, saying Jack is a secret vegan, has converted to Islam, etc.
• Jim Scalfani does "product development" for "stores". "He's the best product developer I know."
• "Stupid questions are going to be blocked... 'Is it true that Tammy punched you in the nads'. Ok."
• Jack complains about double standards because Jan. 6th was a big deal but "no one talked about how the Palestinians took over the Capital".
• Jack says on carnivore he only poops every 2-3 days.
• West Texas Investors Club - Jack says he was only crying because the guys were talking to him about his mom who had passed away recently. "The producers kept pushing me to act like I really needed the money."

"FOR THE FOURTEEN-THOUSANDTH TIME, THAT'S NOT A WASHING MACHINE"

 

[AnOminous]

• West Texas Investors Club - Jack says he was only crying because the guys were talking to him about his mom who had passed away recently. "The producers kept pushing me to act like I really needed the money."

What a loathesome fuck. I can't believe he's still trotting out this lie. His mom died something like four years before he cried like a bitch on that show.

 

[Skwisgaar Skwigelf]

We start off our weekly snooze fest with some politisperging about the Jan 6 incident in Washington. Jack once again reiterates that the NFL “pre-decides” the outcome of the games to keep the true winners away from righteous glory.

Jack basically admits that he does nothing on the show with Tammy doing all the work. Someone asks him if Tammy punched him in the nads and he reads it out loud on stream.

Carnivore is healing Jack's arm! Before Jack's dead arm used to curl up like the legs of a dead spider, but ever since carnivore the arm just “hangs down freely.” Surely, Jack is soon to be cured inshallah!

According to Jack, he has only had 3 strokes and it’s all of the stupid hadurs that think that he has had 5. Apparently, the only reason Jack has strokes is because of his mothers poor genes. He says diet may have had something to do with it, but diet only finished the job genes started.

Jack himself has actually admitted to 5 strokes:

• 1999 mini-stroke
• 2008 stroke
• 2011 stroke
• 2018 stroke
• 2023 stroke

Jack is angy about all the “stupid questions'' he is asked in his chat. He says: “You literally have to open your mouth and say something that makes no sense.” Jack blames his chat for his anger. Jack also tells us that we don’t need to keep analyzing things. He says we should stop taking notes on him.

Jack talks about his time on WTIC. In Jacks account of events the producers forced him against his will to cry. They said: “Act like you need the money” and also he only cried because his mother recently passed away. This is an outright fabrication as the investors were willing to invest in Jack if he gave them a piece of his YouTube channel and he refused, killing the deal.

 

[AbyssDweller]

"so we set the temperature to 120 because that is the rare that I like"

THAT'S FUCKING RAW.

This man has a drawer full of meat thermometers, and cooks a fucking chuck roast to 120? No wonder his "lunch" looked like a fucking raw mess. He'd have been better off just doing his half-assed sear as it came out of the fridge than bothering with the fucking sous vide, because he just let bacteria grow for half a day. Even the little "crust" he thinks he put on there... that's not a fucking crust either. He just warmed it a bit. And with the 30+ knife sets he's bought, Tammy can't fucking cut through it for shit because the damned connective tissue and shit isn't cooked. And the fact that he managed to do this with a god damned sous vide... how is he this fucking stupid? ALMOST EVERY DAMNED MEAT THERMOMETER HAS A LITTLE CHART ON IT. I don't even think my fucking sous vide starts at 120.

It really is amazing that this is a man that's been LARPing as a chef for nearly two decades, yet in all that time he hasn't absorbed a single new culinary technique that could make him a better chef than the average toddler. He truly has embraced the "Lazy Man" ethos as a lifestyle, his commitment is astounding

 

[Mundane Ralph]

You're not supposed to sous vide anything, let alone raw meat, under 130.

You can, but not for more than 2 hours.

 

[Crex Crex]

Today is exactly one year since the stroke

Against all odds.

 

[Pig Cups]

At first:

How does this man shit? Actually, I don't want to think about that.

Probably with a thunderous bellow followed by him telling Tammy that the toilet suddenly broke again or got clogged and she needs to fix it.

But then:

Jack says on carnivore he only poops every 2-3 days.

A BM every 2-3 days isn’t healthy, since most of us typically go at the normal frequency of least once a day. And with his appalling diet…! His gut microbiome and bowels must be such a fucking graveyard. If you were shrunk, put into a submersible, and put into Jack’s body (à la Dennis Quaid in 1987’s Innerspace), something like this is what would likely greet you at the end of the lower esophageal sphincter:

Fecal impaction saga when? My deepest sympathies to the doctor who has to provide the treatment…

With all ^that taken into account, I imagine that Jack taking a shit is a long production that sounds like a warthog in grueling labor, with Tammy by his side for support and encouragement. For Jack, taking a shit probably feels like passing a rock through a tight, marble tube. And while Tammy is silently wiping afterwards, he perplexedly muses to her about what was hurting him so much.

 

[densedance]

Carniwhore diet

 

[Kosher Salt]

This is an outright fabrication as the investors were willing to invest in Jack if he gave them a piece of his YouTube channel and he refused, killing the deal.

They dodged a bullet.

 

[indomitable snowman]

Carniwhore diet

View attachment 5671329

Wtf is the top right picture. None of those appear to be carnivore or particularly appetizing.

 

[p1138]

That's at least 3000 calories right there. Assuming there's at least a pound for each, that's 1800 for the cheese and 1100 for the beef. The cheese is much more calorie-dense than the beef, I could see that alone being at least 2500 calories.

Also, Jack's been hitting the booze again. (Is that why his right side is so pink?)

View attachment 5670064

At first:


But then:


A BM every 2-3 days isn’t healthy, since most of us typically go at the normal frequency of least once a day. And with his appalling diet…! His gut microbiome and bowels must be such a fucking graveyard. If you were shrunk, put into a submersible, and put into Jack’s body (à la Dennis Quaid in 1987’s Innerspace), something like this is what would likely greet you at the end of the lower esophageal sphincter:
View attachment 5671310
Fecal impaction saga when? My deepest sympathies to the doctor who has to provide the treatment…

With all ^that taken into account, I imagine that Jack taking a shit is a long production that sounds like a warthog in grueling labor, with Tammy by his side for support and encouragement. For Jack, taking a shit probably feels like passing a rock through a tight, marble tube. And while Tammy is silently wiping afterwards, he perplexedly muses to her about what was hurting him so much.

This is exactly why I assumed when he whined about the handicap stall being in use at the movie theater, that he was just taking a leak. What was WingsofRedemptions story about his grandma? Claimed a turd went "sideways" and she had to dig it out for him? This is Fatty's regular life now.

Jim Scalfani does "product development" for "stores". "He's the best product developer I know."

Yeah, this would be the same Jim that got his stupid sauce into a handful of walmarts, and eventually was working at adorama and got him that chinese audio gear for free.

It really is amazing that this is a man that's been LARPing as a chef for nearly two decades, yet in all that time he hasn't absorbed a single new culinary technique that could make him a better chef than the average toddler. He truly has embraced the "Lazy Man" ethos as a lifestyle, his commitment is astounding

This is why Kay's Cooking is infinitely better than Fatty. She doesn't pretend to be a chef, regularly makes content, only poisons her closest relatives with her food, accepts criticism, and makes improvements on rare occasion. With this sous vide at 120 shit, Fatty is obviously going backwards. If he had set it for 125, it probably would have actually looked cooked and still been within rare instead of hitting what could possibly be medium rare. But no, we've got a fat moron who looked up the absolutely bottom end of a steak temperature chart and thinks that's somehow acceptable, and to do it for most of a day... so fucking disgusting...

 

[curbside2]

Wtf is the top right picture. None of those appear to be carnivore or particularly appetizing.

Did some digging on the menu and I think it's the "pork belly bites".

 

[Tiresome]

*sets watch for Jack rage when someone asks why there's green on every single one of those plates*

 

[Agamemnon Busmalis]

Did some digging on the menu and I think it's the "pork belly bites".

Looks like a good amount of Asian BBQ sauce on them.