💼 Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

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When will Jack drop dead?

  • February-March 2024

    Votes: 6 0.4%
  • April-May 2024

    Votes: 6 0.4%
  • June-July 2024

    Votes: 17 1.1%
  • August-September 2024

    Votes: 34 2.2%
  • October-November 2024

    Votes: 37 2.4%
  • December 2024

    Votes: 44 2.8%
  • Sometime in 2025

    Votes: 258 16.6%
  • Sometime in 2026

    Votes: 252 16.2%
  • Jack lives forever. The Wendigo Must Consoom

    Votes: 902 58.0%

  • Total voters
    1,556
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WAKE UP LIBUHRULS. FAKE MILKS!
 
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WAKE UP LIBUHRULS. FAKE MILKS!
Ahh yes, the clearly labeled and more expensive products... of which most have a small market. Hell, Beyond Meat is going to end up as a penny stock at the rate it's going. $150/share in July 2021, down to under $7.50. Yup, those corporate overlords are certainly getting rich. A bunch of these other companies, Tofurkey, Quorn, vegetarian farms, etc. have all been bought up in the past few years as their stock prices bottomed out so Kellog, Unilever, etc. can fill out their portfolios with "healthy" options. The only batch of products in that picture that even makes money is the milk/cheese stuff due to the large number of people who are lactose intolerant, have issues with rennet in cheese, and shit like that.
 
WTF does this even mean? Is he referring to Brianna?
He’s probably referring to Brianna (no way Tammy still has outstanding loans from that shitty degree mill), but it came out wrong. He probably meant to say something along the lines of “-poor circumstances,” but strokebrain got in the way. Either that, or he’s *that much* of an asshole to suggest that getting a brain tumor was a “bad decision” on her part. I assume he’s just echoing her annoyance at having to deal with student loan debt on top of medical debt accrued during the brain tumor saga, and didn’t catch her having hours-long staring contests with the microwave.

Tammy’s “way of life drastically changed due to her bad decisions,” that’s for damn sure. On top of supporting the household, she’s reduced to playing literal mommy with Jack because he has no independence. She’s dressing him, bathing him, moving him, toileting him, feeding him, and driving him, because he can’t do any of those things himself. Wiping his shit-stained ass cheeks while teetering on the brink of a diaper saga. All while thankless Fatso pretends to be a functioning man (like when he recently asked her if she shoveled the porch with a faint authoritative glimmer).

Her old beau who worked at that bowling alley¹ would’ve probably been a better long-term provider and lover, in hindsight. Who knows, maybe he worked his way up to eventually owning the bowling alley? Perhaps he oversaw an addition of a large arcade to the facility? Maybe he rose through the ranks of the local amusement industry and became very wealthy? Could be a majority partner in some local Dave & Busters-esque venture by now…

Sure would beat being saddled with Jack. “Bad decisions,” indeed.


¹Sunday Evening Coffee
 
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Spoken like someone who opened one of the attachments. Lmao.

New year new Jack Hack.

Every time he falls for this shit I pray for a new Cooking with Girl saga.

No doubt Jack was among the people who took up the nigerian prince on his offer and had Bonzi Buddy hanging around his desktop 24/7. I think he is such an applefag because he couldn't keep spyware and adware off his windows PC because he kept clicking links on junk mail like a retard.
 
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Facebook group admin Rob took a trip to the Kiwi Farms

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Rob is the best. Always flying under the radar and unlike Fatty Doo Doo takes actual vacations with his wife to far off places.

And of course he needs to visit and actual Kiwi orchard while there to show his solidarity.

They'll somehow try to say that the beer is gluten free beer, even though 99.9% of all beers are brewed with barley.
When plain potato chips have the tag "gluten free" on them you know that some people are too stupid to know what gluten is and think it's just some additive they put in food for nefarious purposes.

It's like 20 years ago when fat was the boogeyman you'd find things like a bag of marshmallows with "0% Fat!" emblazoned on it. Or when trans-fats became the new hotness you had the same bag with "0% trans-fats!". If you don't know that unless your food contains margarine, partially hydrogenated vegetable oil, shortening or whatever it's not a trans fat. And even then if it's less then 1% they can legally say it's trans-fat free.

But my favorite form of misleading ingredient is, "hydrolyzed soy protein". It's better known as MSG. So if you're sensitive to it you might need to avoid foods with that as an ingredient.

I think part of that is forced perspective, since Todd is closer to the camera. But yeah, only part. Manlet confirmed.
That and I think Fatty was sitting down.

I watched the video and I am surprised the turkey didn't turn out raw
He didn't actually cook it. It was done before hand.

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Spoken like someone who opened one of the attachments. Lmao.

New year new Jack Hack.

Every time he falls for this shit I pray for a new Cooking with Girl saga.
Like I'd take advice from a guy that lost his original Facebook group due to giving the password to scammers in the Middle East.

The only people that get caught by this are the stupid ones that watch Fatty unironically.

Hell my Grandmother plays with scammers on the phone and acts like a scared little old lady who gets confused so often and pleads with them not to take her to jail. She's literally kept one of these Indian fuckers on the phone for an hour, wasting his time until he got pissed at her. She then dropped the act, called him a "madarchod" and hung up.
 
awww, look at bitmoji jack comfortably leaning, maintaining his balance with his weight on one leg while with his right hand he adjusts his shades.

i'd pay money to watch a video of actual jack scalfani attempting to do this irl 1706306187053.png
 
Hilarious comment by Ken in response to Jack’s incoherent boomer rant on his student loan post. Fatass’s response is incredible “It not tiktok it news”

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Why the fuck did this fat mongoloid even bring up student loans if his boomerbrain really meant to post about the border? He doesn't even mention Texas or illegals and yet we're just supposed to assume that by bitching about MUH MILLENNIAL STUDENT LOANS, he's actually complaining about Mexicans? Jack really is operating on less than 1/4 of a brain at this point
 
In true fat retard fashion, Jack enjoys a light snack of 1lb of barely cooked beef and a whole block of cheese cut into cubes. I don't need to count calories to lose weight, okay MOM?!

I'm no expert grillmaster, but to me that steak doesn't even look rare. Way too much unrendered fat and connective tissue on some of those pieces. But it wouldn't be a proper Jackmeal without him consuming raw flesh and contracting some form of deadly bacteria/parasite

jackmeal.png
 
In true fat retard fashion, Jack enjoys a light snack of 1lb of barely cooked beef and a whole block of cheese cut into cubes. I don't need to count calories to lose weight, okay MOM?!

I'm no expert grillmaster, but to me that steak doesn't even look rare. Way too much unrendered fat and connective tissue on some of those pieces. But it wouldn't be a proper Jackmeal without him consuming raw flesh and contracting some form of deadly bacteria/parasite

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Ahhh, isn't that sweet ... his gud meat and gud cheese is all nice and cut up for him. When Jagoff's done cramming those cubes down his throat, maybe it'll be time to get help cutting the fingernails on his gud hand, otherwise ... how??
 
In true fat retard fashion, Jack enjoys a light snack of 1lb of barely cooked beef and a whole block of cheese cut into cubes. I don't need to count calories to lose weight, okay MOM?!

I'm no expert grillmaster, but to me that steak doesn't even look rare. Way too much unrendered fat and connective tissue on some of those pieces. But it wouldn't be a proper Jackmeal without him consuming raw flesh and contracting some form of deadly bacteria/parasite

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how bleak
 
In true fat retard fashion, Jack enjoys a light snack of 1lb of barely cooked beef and a whole block of cheese cut into cubes. I don't need to count calories to lose weight, okay MOM?!

I'm no expert grillmaster, but to me that steak doesn't even look rare. Way too much unrendered fat and connective tissue on some of those pieces. But it wouldn't be a proper Jackmeal without him consuming raw flesh and contracting some form of deadly bacteria/parasite

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That's definitely not cooked meat. It was barely browned on the outside in a pan and cut up. Look at the piece the fork is sitting on top of, there's nothing cooked about that at all. Fucking disgusting.
 

Jack once again tries to cook a chuck roast like a steak, two ways. He takes 30 seconds on camera to chew the soo veed piece. He mercifully put a cut in the grilled piece chewing footage. YOU STUPID FUCKING NIGGER LEARN TO COOK CHUCK ITS NOT A STEAK CUT. (also lol at salt-bombing his steaks with seesunin).
 
He mercifully put a cut in the grilled piece chewing footage. YOU STUPID FUCKING NIGGER LEARN TO COOK CHUCK ITS NOT A STEAK CUT.
He also did it at 120 which is kind of danger zone shit. You could probably get a decent result with 140 for 24 hours. Some people like doing chuck like a steak. As for me, I almost always do a roast with it, or have them grind it for a great lean hamburger.
 
He also did it at 120 which is kind of danger zone shit. You could probably get a decent result with 140 for 24 hours. Some people like doing chuck like a steak. As for me, I almost always do a roast with it, or have them grind it for a great lean hamburger.
You're not supposed to sous vide anything, let alone raw meat, under 130. I can't believe the fat faggot actually managed to undercook something using one of the safest cooking techniques possible for people who like rare protein.
 
straight from the urn
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chef jacque sez: be sure to dump a couple grainy, gritty pounds of grandma's ashes atop your chuck roast before you float it in a BPA-rich walmart storage tub of lukewarm water for 18 hours

if you can still see flesh, it's not seasoned enough. you want a complete snowdrift-- a silver sand dune of sparkling ashes where that gud meat useta be.
 
In true fat retard fashion, Jack enjoys a light snack of 1lb of barely cooked beef and a whole block of cheese cut into cubes. I don't need to count calories to lose weight, okay MOM?!

I'm no expert grillmaster, but to me that steak doesn't even look rare. Way too much unrendered fat and connective tissue on some of those pieces. But it wouldn't be a proper Jackmeal without him consuming raw flesh and contracting some form of deadly bacteria/parasite

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That's at least 3000 calories right there. Assuming there's at least a pound for each, that's 1800 for the cheese and 1100 for the beef. The cheese is much more calorie-dense than the beef, I could see that alone being at least 2500 calories.

Also, Jack's been hitting the booze again. (Is that why his right side is so pink?)

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