💼 Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

[toilet_rainbow]

Also he apparently went to the Nashville zoo the other day... at night to look at pretty lights and not be able to see animals like a moron. Also said he's going to film 2 episodes of fat-on-the-go. I wonder if he's going to be "reviewing" the food stands at the zoo or something stupid.

He is going to complain about the animal shit smell (if he can still properly smell at all) or the price and size for a single hot dog.

Of course, but you're forgetting all of the processed shit Fatty has been consuming, and his stupid "carnivore pizza" full of processed bullshit and sugar that he got roasted over in his comments.

That guy that posted the ingredient lists for the junk Jack recently gorged on made more effort in reading a label than he has in almost sixty years. He only cares if he gets to cram ten pounds of meat and cheese into himself every meal, quality be damned. Otherwise he wouldn't be buying the giant bags of shreddy cheese for a meal only he and maybe Tammy are going to consume in 1-2 sittings.

 

[Super Hans v2]

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Jack's hate-dom for Dunkin Donuts is the strangest thing. It's not the sugar, because he'll drink BBQ sauce composed of only that, it's not that he doesn't have a sweet tooth, because nobody gets to his size without one, it's not that he doesn't like coffee, because he always puts some in his caramel milk each morning. It's just 'fuck Dunkin in particular, because fuck them.'

 

[Tiresome]

Jack's hate-dom for Dunkin Donuts is the strangest thing

I still maintain Jack's mom would feed her misshapen unwanted drop on Dunkin whenever she was off neglecting him.

 

[UERISIMILITUDO]

On the topic of Jack's childhood, I always find it a little sad, to know that an innocent baby or child can grow up into such a misshapen parody of a man. It's just a little sad to see squandered potential, however little.

 

[AnOminous]

Of all the fucking people, to claim there's a rule about reading nutrition labels... really? This is probably in his top 10 of shit he absolutely refuses to do, even with people repeatedly calling it out.

Since when does MEAT have nutritional labels?

 

[Falcon Sebben]

Jack's hate-dom for Dunkin Donuts is the strangest thing. It's not the sugar, because he'll drink BBQ sauce composed of only that, it's not that he doesn't have a sweet tooth, because nobody gets to his size without one, it's not that he doesn't like coffee, because he always puts some in his caramel milk each morning. It's just 'fuck Dunkin in particular, because fuck them.'

That's it.

I was seriously confuzzled trying to figure out what he was trying to say there and the only thing that was coming up was "Dad joke". Yeah he's got a hate boner for Dunkin and yet not for Krispy Kreme which if anything are sweeter and worse for you. It's almost as if he ate them for years, something happened like maybe his first stroke and was told by the doctor, "no more donuts". Or his brother saw him eating a donut one day, teased him like crazy because he's such a fat fuck and he internalized it that donuts are bad.

Long story short, Fatty is an idiot.

 

[Mundane Ralph]

That's it.

I was seriously confuzzled trying to figure out what he was trying to say there and the only thing that was coming up was "Dad joke". Yeah he's got a hate boner for Dunkin and yet not for Krispy Kreme which if anything are sweeter and worse for you. It's almost as if he ate them for years, something happened like maybe his first stroke and was told by the doctor, "no more donuts". Or his brother saw him eating a donut one day, teased him like crazy because he's such a fat fuck and he internalized it that donuts are bad.

Long story short, Fatty is an idiot.

He probably just got in an argument with a dunkin manager because he felt like he didn't get enough food or he got told not to film so now he hates them.

 

[Uber driver reviewer]

A kidney failure arc would be quite nice, even though it’d be completely predictable. We all know that Jack would treat dialysis as the sole measure needed to maintain himself, and would make zero changes anywhere else. He’d dutifully (though begrudgingly) go to the clinic 3-4 times a week, and then pig out just the same as he is now once he leaves.

What I’m wondering about is the degree to which his health would need to dramatically fail in order for him to lose the energy to continue posting on social media or YouTube. His rampant narcissism ensures that he’d walk waddle bitch at Tammy to wheel him over broken glass to get his fix. IIRC, once he was out of his coma after his last serious hospitalization, he posted a pic of hospital windows from a wheelchair. YouTube postings would almost surely be the first to run dry, owing to the extra effort needed. But he will definitely continue whining on Facebook as long as he’s able to use a smartphone- he would have to be comatose or in a state of sickness that precludes him from any activity outside of lying down in extreme pain in order for that to stop.

Jack would love dialysis treatments because he could then goad Tammy into taking him to Arby’s, Popeyes, etc

Jack is fucking haunting me. Can’t even watch science videos in peace. 10:37

Spoiler

https://youtube.com/watch?v=ir7ePgCzBP8:637

Imagine living a long, full life, and then becoming a synonym for demented cooking because of a troll recipe you did as a joke to see if your glutton of a relative would eat literally anything as long as it has sugar and fat.

jack says that aunt Myrna “isnt doing so well”. Sad that Jack will outlive that ebullient old lady.

On the topic of tertiary Scalfani’s…apparently Jack’s younger brother Jim (pig nips) Scalfani is looking for a room to rent. He is ok with grandmas so maybe @Mersh can take him in…

 

[StoopidFookingHamsterFace]

Damn, catching back up with the old boy
Imagine searching youtube for diets that you could possibly try to get those extra pounds off after the holidays, and you stumble on these videos in the search results.

By default I think anyone would subconsciously be trying to justify veganism after looking at these. Never will change and godspeed into the great eternity beyond

"Any questions you got, look it up on the internet first" - Man who doesn't trust doctors after multiple strokes; still surviving on the bodies of dead things like a vampiric husk.

 

[AnOminous]

By default I think anyone would subconsciously be trying to justify veganism after looking at these. Never will change and godspeed into the great eternity beyond

Imagine looking at an ugly, morbidly obese faggot with so much brain damage from multiple strokes he can barely keep a single eye open and slurs like he's drunk off his ass from damage to his speech centers, and thinking this guy is someone to take diet advice from, when on top of it, the advice is eat nothing but fat, lard, grease and MOAR MEAT!

 

[lindsayfan]

Jack's hate-dom for Dunkin Donuts is the strangest thing.

it does seem bizarre and arbitrary. who gives a shit about dunkin donuts? it's a decent drive-through to get a massive iced coffee and a gross/yummy breakfast sandwich if you're a miserable commuter on your way to wageslave, but jack's not a lowly worker, he's an entrepreneur. anyway i thought jack's set were supposed to hate (union-busting, pro-zionist) Starbucks, for being 'woke.'

i'm kind of surprised he came across dunkin donuts, since he lived in california and then tennessee. according to their website they're nationwide at this point but i always thought of them as a northeastern chain. i agree krispy kreme would make more sense as a love-hate obsession. maybe there is or was a dunkin just down the street from him and he got fixated on it because of that.

 

[Pig Cups]

Ewwwww…

Based on the minimal information out there concerning Jim, I just figured he was a decent, hardworking man who happened to be gay, and whose asshole brother effectively and undeservedly shunned him for it.

Just once, it’d be nice to see an example of a gay dude who isn’t a degenerate faggot, but I guess that‘s damn near impossible. Nipple suction play? You know it doesn’t end there. I’d wager he’s also into gift giving/bugchasing, CBT, large insertion, PnP, cultivating his rosebud, etc.

 

[Hollywood Hulk Hogan]

At least Jim is in good shape and looks way younger than his actual age, unlike his fat fuck brother

 

[GloriousRapeRabbit]

Oh ffs....Well not all scalfanis are gluttonous fatties, but holy shit the Scalfani family sure has some shit genes. Another trash Scalfani....how surpricing.

Hopefully Jr:s homosexuality prevents him from knocking Brianna up....that genome needs to be ridden of the world.

 

[Skwisgaar Skwigelf]

The year is 42069; humanity is but a shadow of its former self.

The few remaining tribes of humans are scattered far across the globe.

Many tribal beliefs curse the the ancient pillars of stone and steel; cracked monuments to the hubris of the Old Ones.

Still, there are those who search the rubble of the old world, despite the warnings of the tribal elders. Seeking scrap, ancient treasure, or forgotten knowledge.

Today, a strange and anchuent slate is discovered in the desert. It is imbued with tales and visions of the past.

With a sweep of his hand, the lone wanderer brushes the dust off of the ancient tome, and thus spoke the first words of a long dead civilization:

"HEY GUYS! JACK SCALFANI HERE AND YOU'RE COOKING WITH JACK!"

 

[Rod Dangerous]

Just once, it’d be nice to see an example of a gay dude who isn’t a degenerate faggot, but I guess that‘s damn near impossible. Nipple suction play? You know it doesn’t end there. I’d wager he’s also into gift giving/bugchasing, CBT, large insertion, PnP, cultivating his rosebud, etc.

Let’s ask @Baby Yoda.

 

[semitooth]

check out those nips holy fuck

 

[lindsayfan]

check out those nips holy fuck

they're definitely troubling and i'm very angry that i've been indirectly prompted to contemplate what jack's nipples look like

...but holy fucking shit is that dude actually 54 years old? are those recent pics? what is the story with that torso?
("it's simple. if it's cum, you eat it. if it's not, you don't")

 

[boxybum]

Jim has a very good body for 54. I'm honestly impressed he managed to power through the shitty Scalfani genes and take care of himself.

 

[Dead Air]

Jim has a very good body for 54. I'm honestly impressed he managed to power through the shitty Scalfani genes and take care of himself.

He didn't get away unscathed.