💼 Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

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When will Jack drop dead?

  • February-March 2024

    Votes: 6 0.4%

  • April-May 2024

    Votes: 6 0.4%

  • June-July 2024

    Votes: 17 1.1%

  • August-September 2024

    Votes: 34 2.2%

  • October-November 2024

    Votes: 37 2.4%

  • December 2024

    Votes: 44 2.8%

  • Sometime in 2025

    Votes: 258 16.6%

  • Sometime in 2026

    Votes: 252 16.2%

  • Jack lives forever. The Wendigo Must Consoom

    Votes: 902 58.0%
  • Total voters
    1,556
saralovesjuicyfruit said:
Yeah I don't know how the myth became so prevalent that the rotisserie chickens are chickens from the meat department that were about to go bad. Grocery stores sell so many that there's no way there would ever be enough chickens to go around if they were just relying on whatever didn't sell in the meat department.
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Probably because it's happened enough in the past that it's become a thing. The quickest way to extend the life of meat that's about to go bad is to cook it. So I could see some supermarket use those chickens for that purpose. A place like Costco that sells so many of them? Yeah they'd need to go through a lot of unsold chicken to make up for what they sell.

Blasterisk said:
We'll have to get Jack's opinion on if rub is a seasoning (gud) meat (meat is meat, gud) or a carrot (scary).
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It doesn't matter to him so long as there's lots of salt and no SHUGAR in the rub.

Gentlebastard said:
Apparently, dialysis is quite effective in clearing alcohol from the bloodstream; if you drink heavily and undergo dialysis shortly afterward, you will probably clear up and not even see the shadow of a hangover.
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But Fatty is a CHRISTIAN and he doesn't drink. Except he totally does when Hammy isn't looking.

I would wonder however if he's trying to hide his drinking during his time on this diet of his. Alcohol isn't allowed on CARNIVORE. Can Jagoff last a month without taking a shot every so often?

densedance said:
I am allways asking myself how much dignity or face does this guy have? He knows exactly what he's doing & realisticaly he should know that he shovels his own grave. Either he eats grass the next time, or he's in a more vegetable state where he's bed ridden & Tammy has to do service for him 24/7.
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If he had a shred of dignity he wouldn't show videos of himself smashing BBQ Bacon Bourbon Burgers from Wendy's into his mouth so the sauce literally shoots out the side and down his face.

Should be cued up to that point. Here's the direct link if the site is being stupid: https://youtu.be/GAETifKJ5ys?si=hRMsO15hskiKKQfB&t=344
 
rubytintedchix said:
“God will heal my arm” rather than putting in the effort for physical therapy after the 2018 stroke was the ultimate lazy man’s lasagna.
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He'll go to Hell for that if God is a thing. God put him in the richest part of the world and sent him doctors and physical therapists and he told God's agents to go fuck themselves and demanded God just fix everything with no effort from him. "God will heal my arm" is pretty much blasphemous by that measure.
 
It's MONDAY!!!
fatty_monday.png

lol, I don't believe these numbers. Somehow they're all magically the lowest they've been when this fool has had his BP through the roof. In fact, because his BP is 139/83 I'm inclined to believe he lowered the first number and didn't think about the 2nd as it's the first number people were initially harping on him about.

Claims he's feeling and doing better. Movement is getting "easier, nothing major". Says he heard CARNIVORE can cure(not treat, reduce, etc. but CURE) toe fungus(ewww. this fool has had athletes foot this whole time? I guess it's not like he can wash his feet so that tracks), skin tags(yes, somehow only eating meat will cause skin tags to just disappear). Says his numbers look good(139/83 is still horrendous), claims 10 pounds in 15 days(Tammy says 11 or 12, he thinks 10 and tells "you guys" to calculate). Feels good, isn't hungry. Saw french fries on TV and isn't having cravings(sure because his craving was MEAT and he's just eating GUD MEAT).

edit: I just realized Fatty managed to doublepost this to FB like a dumbass. Also he apparently went to the Nashville zoo the other day... at night to look at pretty lights and not be able to see animals like a moron. Also said he's going to film 2 episodes of fat-on-the-go. I wonder if he's going to be "reviewing" the food stands at the zoo or something stupid.
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AnOminous said:
He'll go to Hell for that if God is a thing. God put him in the richest part of the world and sent him doctors and physical therapists and he told God's agents to go fuck themselves and demanded God just fix everything with no effort from him. "God will heal my arm" is pretty much blasphemous by that measure.
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A fellow was stuck on his rooftop in a flood. He was praying to God for help.

Soon a man in a rowboat came by and the fellow shouted to the man on the roof, “Jump in, I can save you.”

The stranded fellow shouted back, “No, it’s OK, I’m praying to God and he is going to save me.”

So the rowboat went on.

Then a motorboat came by. “The fellow in the motorboat shouted, “Jump in, I can save you.”

To this the stranded man said, “No thanks, I’m praying to God and he is going to save me. I have faith.”

So the motorboat went on.

Then a helicopter came by and the pilot shouted down, “Grab this rope and I will lift you to safety.”

To this the stranded man again replied, “No thanks, I’m praying to God and he is going to save me. I have faith.”

So the helicopter reluctantly flew away.

Soon the water rose above the rooftop and the man drowned. He went to Heaven. He finally got his chance to discuss this whole situation with God, at which point he exclaimed, “I had faith in you but you didn’t save me, you let me drown. I don’t understand why!”

To this God replied, “I sent you a rowboat and a motorboat and a helicopter, what more did you expect?”


This is pretty much Jack's life story.

Edit: except Jack aint going to heaven lol
 
p1138 said:
It's MONDAY!!!
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lol, I don't believe these numbers. Somehow they're all magically the lowest they've been when this fool has had his BP through the roof. In fact, because his BP is 139/83 I'm inclined to believe he lowered the first number and didn't think about the 2nd as it's the first number people were initially harping on him about.

Claims he's feeling and doing better. Movement is getting "easier, nothing major". Says he heard CARNIVORE can cure(not treat, reduce, etc. but CURE) toe fungus(ewww. this fool has had athletes foot this whole time? I guess it's not like he can wash his feet so that tracks), skin tags(yes, somehow only eating meat will cause skin tags to just disappear). Says his numbers look good(139/83 is still horrendous), claims 10 pounds in 15 days(Tammy says 11 or 12, he thinks 10 and tells "you guys" to calculate). Feels good, isn't hungry. Saw french fries on TV and isn't having cravings(sure because his craving was MEAT and he's just eating GUD MEAT).

edit: I just realized Fatty managed to doublepost this to FB like a dumbass. Also he apparently went to the Nashville zoo the other day... at night to look at pretty lights and not be able to see animals like a moron. Also said he's going to film 2 episodes of fat-on-the-go. I wonder if he's going to be "reviewing" the food stands at the zoo or something stupid.
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That's not a believable BP, especially when his body probably would have risen his BP out of pure spite after devouring an entire chicken in a single meal
 
I like the helicopter story better than any of the actual parables. "Go to hell you stubborn fuck" is a stronger message than "God helps those that help themselves."
So... God loves shoplifters? Explains why they breed so fast.

Also funny because God has been doing his damndest to kill Jack for decades, but Modern Medicine keeps thwarting it.

One sad thing about Jack being so crippled is we don't get the freakouts at servers anymore. I feel like a spryer Jack would be funny as fuck on the carnivore. He'd order the same shit he always order, then actually freak out about the bread.

"I TOLD YOU NO BREAD" he would bellow, but the tape would show he just ordered the same old shit.
I do find it amusing that God took away one of Jack's true joys, sucking down shurgur sauces, and grimacing at vinegar sauces.

I feel like the BBQ trip was truly a gift. We got to see Jack with the mask off, being a truly nasty shit to an audience.
 
Gulls on Film said:
That's not a believable BP, especially when his body probably would have risen his BP out of pure spite after devouring an entire chicken in a single meal
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Not in the least, I weigh considerably less than him (half of what he likely actually weighs) and mine averages 120/80 when I am doing fine, 5-10 higher on both when I eat something like Pizza Hut with a ton of salt, and worse when I'm stressed out or sleeping bad. I have zero heart issues, and only watch my BP because of a medicine I took which caused a crazy spike that I was watched and did blood tests for 2 years after to make sure there was no lasting organ damage. That said, I haven't believed a single BP reading of his because I have a family member who is around his weight and eats the slop he does. His BP is nearly always about 150/100. He's not had strokes, just what I feel is metabolic syndrome and prediabetes but he doesn't see a doc anymore. Jack's off his rocker just lying. How long will he hold out before his body gives up? The shit he eats is insane.
 
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Agamemnon Busmalis said:
Just imagine shitting 5 pounds a day.
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Kidshealth: Newborns come in a range of healthy sizes. Most babies born between 37 and 40 weeks weigh somewhere between 5 pounds, 8 ounces (2,500 grams) and 8 pounds, 13 ounces (4,000 grams).
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lol this mf is dropping a food baby every day.

lindsayfan said:
@LustrousMelons' avi inspired me to go on a lil Jackspedition, back to the past when he had TWO working meat claws, to find the actual video it was from.

ok guys, it was totally worth it. lots of wet chewing noises, the humming mouth-full moans were good, A plus, be sure and check it out. ok guys, love you.

mmmmmm mMMMmmmm squelch.mp4
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Ive always thought there should be a supercut of Jack eating set to Great Gig in the Sky, its like America.mp4. I only wish he had some Jesus crap in the background, it would be perfect.

 
Of all the fucking people, to claim there's a rule about reading nutrition labels... really? This is probably in his top 10 of shit he absolutely refuses to do, even with people repeatedly calling it out.
fatty_rule.JPG
 
p1138 said:
Of all the fucking people, to claim there's a rule about reading nutrition labels... really? This is probably in his top 10 of shit he absolutely refuses to do, even with people repeatedly calling it out.
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What nutrition labels. Its meat, eggs, and some dairy. If the label contains more than one ingredient, you already fucked up. Part of the whole point of the diet is not worrying about that stuff. You tell that to any other actual carnivore diet follower and they'll look at you like you just shit on the sidewalk.
 
Kuritan Deplorable said:
What nutrition labels. Its meat, eggs, and some dairy. If the label contains more than one ingredient, you already fucked up. Part of the whole point of the diet is not worrying about that stuff. You tell that to any other actual carnivore diet follower and they'll look at you like you just shit on the sidewalk.
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Of course, but you're forgetting all of the processed shit Fatty has been consuming, and his stupid "carnivore pizza" full of processed bullshit and sugar that he got roasted over in his comments.
 
I will always love the fact that Jack is literally too stupid to realize that his entire online presence consists of unforced errors. Every single video, every outing, every recipe. If he had ever had even the lowest baseline of competence his social media life (such as it is) would be so much happier.
 
p1138 said:
Of all the fucking people, to claim there's a rule about reading nutrition labels... really? This is probably in his top 10 of shit he absolutely refuses to do, even with people repeatedly calling it out.
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If this faggot actually read the label and saw what he normally eats... he wouldn't be in the situation he is.

Besides, what label is he looking for other than "meat"? This just goes to show he's not serious about this meaning he's eating processed foods and stuff he shouldn't.
 
._. said:
lol this mf is dropping a food baby every day.


Ive always thought there should be a supercut of Jack eating set to Great Gig in the Sky, its like America.mp4. I only wish he had some Jesus crap in the background, it would be perfect.

america.mp4
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That pulpork sammich has seen more love and action than Tammy has for years.
 
Jack is fucking haunting me. Can’t even watch science videos in peace. 10:37

Imagine living a long, full life, and then becoming a synonym for demented cooking because of a troll recipe you did as a joke to see if your glutton of a relative would eat literally anything as long as it has sugar and fat.
 
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