My therapist is a bigot. Help!!Need Advice (
self.lgbt)
submitted 16 hours ago by
DownUnderGal48
Hello all, Trigger

warning. (Anti lgbt views & ignorance & SH)
Not too sure if this is the place to ask this, but I needed some advice. Please no nasty comments.
Me (40f) have had the same Psychiatrist for just over 13 years now. They were the first to diagnose me correctly (was misdiagnosed for over 15 years with incorrect medications which made my conditions worse), and they have seriously helped me get through life and also survive. Especially when my mum passed & with my issues if SH.
However, in the last couple of years I've been questioning my identity a bit as well as sexuality. I've always thought I wasn't the same as others in the mold. (To be honest I've been questioning for many, many years - since i was young - , but it has been in forefront predominantly these past few years).
I first approached my Dr and brought up the "topic" of possibly being non-binary. I also claimed that I don't feel like I "fit" into 1 particular gender a lot of time. I also have always questioned my sexuality but didn't bring this up at this time.
My doctor started insinuating this is just a trend and popularity "thing" at this moment in time and literally said to me "you're probably just bisexual." - even though I only brought up gender identity and expression.
I was quite confused by this but let it slide (I shouldn't have), as we had some very important case management things to complete in that session. However, I left the session feeling a bit off.
Cut to later down the line, when I began to discuss sexuality and gender identity about myself and I also was saying how happy I am for a friend who "came out" late in life as mtf. And how proud I was of them in the way they went about it, how they are loving their life right now and so on and so forth. I also said I've still been questioning my identity and so on and getting quite confused about myself as a person and how I perceive myself.
Again, my Dr fobbed it off but here's where the bigotry came out.
They said they come from a "scientific background and point of view" and went on about that a bit e.g. the gender you'reassigned at birth, etc. I don't need to tell you more.
They also said that a trans woman is not a woman and they don't understand why they think they're women, etc.
I was kinda shocked. As this Dr is usually pretty open and helpful and now specialises in child and adolescent psychiatry (I met them when they worked as an army debriefer and adult and youth dr), and I'm one of the adults that stayed.
I said something like, people I know who are trans women don't think that they menstruate but they are, in fact, women under that title of gender identity. They are women, period. Not all women menstruate, etc. (I mentioned the menstrual point as that was a "fact" they presented to me.) This was just 1 of my points when responding.
The Dr seemed to be of the opinion that trans people, women in particular, are delusional and "think they're real women", etc. (Language & phrases to that effect). Which was upsetting to me to hear this from them, a trusted person in my life.
I was just stumped and shocked and absolutely did not know what to say in that moment purely due to it being such an unexpected response from them. Literally a jaw dropping moment.
I won't go into more details of what they said as it doesn't help anybody. But it made myself, and also my friends in the community, feel very invalid.
Now, I need to see this Dr for their connections to a particular hospital I have to utilise that's private and also for medication management and so on and so forth.
My question is this; Do I now seek out a GP mental health care plan (I can't afford to pay the full fees for sessions in Aus), and try to find a more LGBTQIA plus friendly psychologist and discuss my feelings and thoughts and so on with them exclusively, and just leave the case management/medication management up to the Psychiatrist? And, how do I go about finding said lgbt friendly Psychologist in my area in Australia?
On principle alone, I'd like to stop with this Psychiatrist but for many reasons, I can't at this stage.
Also, do I have an obligation to say anything to anyone about my Psychiatrist? As they mainly see young children and adolescents who require psychiatric help as well as assistance with spectrum and other neurodivergent issues. It makes me wonder what that Dr would say if a young person was questioning their sexuality and/or their gender identity or expression.
If I had the luxury of changing Psychiatrists, I likely would, but at this stage I can't as stated before.
If I have to tell someone about this, is there a way to tell someone in the industry anonymously of this issue? I don't wish to be named.
I honestly don't know what to do.
All I know is is that I'm glad I stuck up for my friend at the time they were brought into the conversation, but it was certainly awkward and uncomfortable and this is meant to be a "safe space" for me to be in.
I apologise if any of my language is off. I'm neurodivergent & writing about things like this gives me a lot of anxiety.
I am an ally and also in solidarity with the community and it's my belief that I may also be apart of said community.
Any sage advice would be appreciated. Please keep it polite and kind. This is my 2nd only ever post on Reddit & I'm nervous to bring this up. I also mean no offence to anybody in any way. If anything I've said has upset anybody, I do apologise. Also this is not me asking anybody to assist with my identity, etc. Simply to ask advice about my next steps regarding the Dr I use and what I should do from here on out in keeping with the forum rules.