💼 Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

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When will Jack drop dead?

  • February-March 2024

    Votes: 6 0.4%
  • April-May 2024

    Votes: 6 0.4%
  • June-July 2024

    Votes: 17 1.1%
  • August-September 2024

    Votes: 34 2.2%
  • October-November 2024

    Votes: 37 2.4%
  • December 2024

    Votes: 44 2.8%
  • Sometime in 2025

    Votes: 258 16.6%
  • Sometime in 2026

    Votes: 252 16.2%
  • Jack lives forever. The Wendigo Must Consoom

    Votes: 902 58.0%

  • Total voters
    1,556
Truly a modern day tragedy. He even had to fight the good fight alone as Tammy didn't understand the great injustice wrought upon our hero.
A brave fighter who battled through mother nature's wrath to ensure this cardinal sin was rectified. God bless you Jack.
 
I think its just a cultural thing that americans all know exactly what "birthday cake" tastes like, even though it is not a necessarily a highbrow piece of the culture. Even if your mom was better than that, you likely ran into grocery-store birthday cake at other kids' parties or as an adult office worker. No one is going out of their way to make or buy something nice for the office. In the 80s and 90s, grocery-store birthday cakes were infinitely worse because the frosting was made out of some lard like substance that coated your mouth like oreo filling. They are somewhat better now, probably because of new chemicals to help stabilize frosting for longer. Why anyone actually likes it, probably because so much of the food sold here is all about HFCS to appeal to diabetics like Jack. If they came out with Horchata ice cream in mexico or Melamine ice cream in china, everyone in those places would know exactly what that is even though the rest of us might not be able to imagine it.
 
I think its just a cultural thing that americans all know exactly what "birthday cake" tastes like, even though it is not a necessarily a highbrow piece of the culture. Even if your mom was better than that, you likely ran into grocery-store birthday cake at other kids' parties or as an adult office worker. No one is going out of their way to make or buy something nice for the office. In the 80s and 90s, grocery-store birthday cakes were infinitely worse because the frosting was made out of some lard like substance that coated your mouth like oreo filling. They are somewhat better now, probably because of new chemicals to help stabilize frosting for longer. Why anyone actually likes it, probably because so much of the food sold here is all about HFCS to appeal to diabetics like Jack. If they came out with Horchata ice cream in mexico or Melamine ice cream in china, everyone in those places would know exactly what that is even though the rest of us might not be able to imagine it.
Horchata icecream is definitely a thing in the US, would be weird if it wasn't already in mexico. Melamine icecream in china, isn't that just vanilla for them by now?

The people here flipping their shit over not understanding the concept of birthday cake or demanding it to be called a 15 syllable phrase or something is kinda ridiculous. At any rate, the one "flavor" that's always made me raise an eyebrow is "cotton candy" which is nothing but barely caramelized sugar yet somehow I've seen it as flavored vodka, soda, ice cream, and all sorts of other shit.,
 
Why does "birthday cake ice cream" exist????? Explain this Amerimutts.
View attachment 5314239

What even is this? It looks like he's trying to brew a "regeneration potion" to summon Lord Voldemort. It won't bring your limp arm or your diabetic feet back, Jack.

View attachment 5314243
Lord Voldemort uses Avada Salmonella.

Save me God.
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He placed a total of three advertisements in this video. You fat greedy pig.

Wouldn't it be better to dice the apples and then mix the butter with the cake mix?
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>Yellowcake box
:story:
Yellowcake is a concentrated powder form or uranium you fat moron. Obviously, eating yellowcake is safer than eating anything Jack cooks.

This looks like a mouldy brick.
This looks like the headstone of Elliot William Fong in 20 years after he kills himself.
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:cryblood::cryblood::cryblood:
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This is Jack's "yellowcake box".
View attachment 5314264
I see why he called it that.
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One is safer to eat than the other, it also doesn't use slop from cans and processed goop.

Two recipes, Jack, that's three recipes too much.
I saw the video for that ice cream bread thing. I don't understand the point of making that. It doesn't look like it would be good. I'd rather go for just the normal cake with the ice cream on the side.
 
In the 80s and 90s, grocery-store birthday cakes were infinitely worse because the frosting was made out of some lard like substance that coated your mouth like oreo filling.

Thank you, you've hit the nail right on the head of why I absolutely hated the icing on those cakes as a kid. But still had to choke it down anyways, because the idea of a child not liking cake is antithetical, so eat up, kiddo! And God help you if you got a corner piece, because it's your birthday, so of course you need a piece with more icing!

Edit: words are hard
 
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I saw the video for that ice cream bread thing. I don't understand the point of making that. It doesn't look like it would be good. I'd rather go for just the normal cake with the ice cream on the side.
If you have some ice cream that's fucked up from freezing, thawing, and then freezing again it's pretty OK. I did it once for fun, and it was very dense. It really is more bread than cake.
 
Best part is he claims he went to the rain to get the bacon, but he is completely dry on the video, I wonder why.
Best moment of Jack chimping out like a fucking ape because he was denied fat and grease.
 
Horchata icecream is definitely a thing in the US, would be weird if it wasn't already in mexico. Melamine icecream in china, isn't that just vanilla for them by now?
Horchata is all over the place. You can find Horchata drinks in the local intl supermarket along with cans of it from Goya I think. For melamine in China? That was a scandal that some guys were adding it to milk to stretch it out and make more money off of it. Until a bunch of babies started to die and the authorities cracked down. Now they just add it for flavor.

At any rate, the one "flavor" that's always made me raise an eyebrow is "cotton candy" which is nothing but barely caramelized sugar yet somehow I've seen it as flavored vodka, soda, ice cream, and all sorts of other shit.,
It's just one of those things that comes along for a while and then kinda goes away and you never hear from again. Like Bacon everything. Back in like the mid-2000's bacon was everywhere. Bacon Vodka. Bacon gum. Bacon donuts. And sure you can still see these things but they're not as popular as they used to be, Cotton Candy will go that way as will Birthday Cake in about 10 years and we'll find something else to add to everything.

And God help you if you got a corner piece, because it's your birthday, so of course you need a piece with more icing!
I would scrape that shit off and just eat the cake.

Best moment of Jack chimping out like a fucking ape because he was denied fat and grease.
But that video of him just cramming as much of that burger in his mouth with the sauce dribbling down is hilarious. He can't take a large enough bite so he needs to push it as hard as he can into his mouth.

Faggot is addicted to food.
 
Cooking with Jack used to be in my top three lolcows to follow. He’s currently a dead man walking after experiencing his fourth major health scare. He’s lost everything he use to own and now has to have his wife handle the cooking off screen. And he’s STILL up to his old habits.

It’s to the point that there’s no joy in follwing him. He’s hit rock bottom. There’s no life left in him. He doesn’t even get passionately angry like he used to. Jack is the most “dead” living man I’ve ever seen that can walk. I only swing by this thread every few weeks to watch farmers play kick the husk.
 
I just want to share my favorite Jack clip with you guys, it makes me cry every time...😭

cheese.mp4
As a non American it just shocks me that there really are sterotypical fat slobs like Jack running around. You couldn't parody how fat and stupid he is. First he's eating in his car rather than eating in the the fast food place they're parked outside because he's a fat anti-social retard. Second the timing of the belch/clearing his throat is a audible cue that his brain has finally processed that Tammy said that there is no bacon like he's a printer or washing machine notifying you it is done. It took 3 seconds for him to realise what she said and for the implication to set in which enrages him to the point that this fat retard man-child declares he's going to go out in the rain to get a refund. As if that is some herculean feat when its only drizzling. What really tops this off is that this reveals a kafkaesque twist that I find is unique and only found in amerimutts like Jack. This dumpy flabby wendigo who starts this video with 'it was really guud' did not process that his burger had no bacon after he saw it and ate it, something a normal person would have realised without being told. He's such a fucking glutton for meat he just gorged himself on the burger not even noticing the lack of another kind of meat that sets him off into this passive aggressive enraged toddler mode. Truly he is the plantonic ideal of what a obese, white trash, ignorant, spoiled glutton of an american looks sounds and acts like.
 
As a non American it just shocks me that there really are sterotypical fat slobs like Jack running around.
It's depressingly common, unfortunately. You go to a Walmart or even a regular grocery store and you'll see multiple

It's just one of those things that comes along for a while and then kinda goes away and you never hear from again. Like Bacon everything. Back in like the mid-2000's bacon was everywhere. Bacon Vodka. Bacon gum. Bacon donuts. And sure you can still see these things but they're not as popular as they used to be, Cotton Candy will go that way as will Birthday Cake in about 10 years and we'll find something else to add to everything.
I hated the internet's obsession with bacon. Bacon is alright, but bacon flavored soda or vodka or whatever is just fucking nasty.
 
I'm new to the Jack fandom, but enjoying it. Quick question though, how the fuck has Jack not died from eating the things he makes?
The "food" he cooks is so awful, the parasites and pathogens he gets from it die the second he introduces the next culinary abomination into his body.
 
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