💼 Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

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When will Jack drop dead?

  • February-March 2024

    Votes: 6 0.4%
  • April-May 2024

    Votes: 6 0.4%
  • June-July 2024

    Votes: 17 1.1%
  • August-September 2024

    Votes: 34 2.2%
  • October-November 2024

    Votes: 37 2.4%
  • December 2024

    Votes: 44 2.8%
  • Sometime in 2025

    Votes: 258 16.6%
  • Sometime in 2026

    Votes: 252 16.2%
  • Jack lives forever. The Wendigo Must Consoom

    Votes: 902 58.0%

  • Total voters
    1,556
He possibly has absolute immunity to salmonella.
Which is why we say, "he's more salmonella than man at this point".

Dunno who this faggot it but he doesn't seem to know how to cook himself. I mean sweet and spicy can work together. The issue is that Jagoff Scalfatty is using terrible ingredients and just dumping way more "maple" syrup in there than he should.
 
Dunno who this faggot it but he doesn't seem to know how to cook himself. I mean sweet and spicy can work together. The issue is that Jagoff Scalfatty is using terrible ingredients and just dumping way more "maple" syrup in there than he should.
Here is the recipe Jack poasted in the original video:

¼ cup pure maple syrup, preferably dark
2 tablespoons tomato paste
1 tablespoon cider vinegar
1 teaspoon chili powder
½ teaspoon chipotle chili powder
¼ teaspoon granulated garlic
1 ½ teaspoon coarse kosher salt
½ teaspoon pepper

Assuming he just scaled this x4, the recipe has a 4:3 sugar to acidic ratio which is fairly balanced and he certainly didn't use the entire amount on the batch of chicken he cooked. This is basically a homebrew 'BBQ Sauce'. The commercial varieties all have a ton of sugar, this Wonderstruck is a moron. Not a flavour profile I would go for but the recipe is sound.
 
Here is the recipe Jack poasted in the original video:

¼ cup pure maple syrup, preferably dark
2 tablespoons tomato paste
1 tablespoon cider vinegar
1 teaspoon chili powder
½ teaspoon chipotle chili powder
¼ teaspoon granulated garlic
1 ½ teaspoon coarse kosher salt
½ teaspoon pepper

Assuming he just scaled this x4, the recipe has a 4:3 sugar to acidic ratio which is fairly balanced and he certainly didn't use the entire amount on the batch of chicken he cooked. This is basically a homebrew 'BBQ Sauce'. The commercial varieties all have a ton of sugar, this Wonderstruck is a moron. Not a flavour profile I would go for but the recipe is sound.
Yeah, he didn't use all of the sauce on the chicken... just contaminated the whole mixing bowl of sauce but that's a different matter. Fatty was using one of those oxo brand measuring cups with the angle, and definitely had a cup of maple syrup in it, but also looks like he(or Tammy) actually measured out 8 table spoons of tomato paste(can you can see the dollops of it in the bowl).

How big of a culinary fuckup do you have to be, to end up sounding worse than fatty when trying to criticize him? I'd never eat anything that Fatty has made, or was anywhere near his kitchen or him around it, but the recipe definitely seems just fine and this is one of the few instances of Fatty not fucking it up. Fatty even understood to not put the sauce on the chicken right from the start because it would just burn the sauce. I'm not going to go so far as the say the chicken was properly cooked because he likely spent so damn long taking it out of the oven, saucing it, and putting it back in that it cooled off and didn't get back up to temp under the broiler, but this Wonder idiot has never seen partially cooked chicken before?

No wonder he got led into that cult or whatever the fuck that mess is with iiluminaughtii. He's a fucking moron.
 
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Why does "birthday cake ice cream" exist????? Explain this Amerimutts.
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What even is this? It looks like he's trying to brew a "regeneration potion" to summon Lord Voldemort. It won't bring your limp arm or your diabetic feet back, Jack.
"Tub of processed slop, unknowingly given, you will renew your son! Bottle of the processed food colouring, willingly sacrificed, you will revive your master. Blood of the kiwi a-logs, forcibly taken, you will resurrect your foe."
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Lord Voldemort uses Avada Salmonella.

Save me God.
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He placed a total of three advertisements in this video. You fat greedy pig.

Wouldn't it be better to dice the apples and then mix the butter with the cake mix?
4.jpg
>Yellowcake box
:story:
Yellowcake is a concentrated powder form or uranium you fat moron. Obviously, eating yellowcake is safer than eating anything Jack cooks.

This looks like a mouldy brick.
This looks like the headstone of Elliot William Fong in 20 years after he kills himself.
5.jpg

:cryblood::cryblood::cryblood:
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This is Jack's "yellowcake box".
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I see why he called it that.
1693801425751.png

One is safer to eat than the other, it also doesn't use slop from cans and processed goop.

Two recipes, Jack, that's three recipes too much.
 
Here is the recipe Jack poasted in the original video:

¼ cup pure maple syrup, preferably dark
2 tablespoons tomato paste
1 tablespoon cider vinegar
1 teaspoon chili powder
½ teaspoon chipotle chili powder
¼ teaspoon granulated garlic
1 ½ teaspoon coarse kosher salt
½ teaspoon pepper

Assuming he just scaled this x4, the recipe has a 4:3 sugar to acidic ratio which is fairly balanced and he certainly didn't use the entire amount on the batch of chicken he cooked. This is basically a homebrew 'BBQ Sauce'. The commercial varieties all have a ton of sugar, this Wonderstruck is a moron. Not a flavour profile I would go for but the recipe is sound.
Did he use the real stuff? Jagoff seems the type to get the reduced sugar version which is just HFCS and artificial flavors.

I'd still up the acid or lower the sugar though. This calls for ginger as well. Get rid of the chili powder. Use real garlic and no tomato paste.
 
Has any kiwi actually tried to make Jack's "enchiladas"?
If I'm bored enough, I might actually give that a go.
I never have, although I have seen people use taquitos or mini burritos instead of tortilla chips for a "lazy enchilada" recipe.

I would suggest to just skip making that mess and just go for a solid chilaquiles recipe instead.
 
I'm confused why you're confused. What is shocking about birthday cake ice cream?
1. It doesn't resemble a cake
2. There is no such a thing as a "birthday cake", some like fruit cakes and some prefer chocolate mousse, etc. The entire idea is stupid. A "birthday" cake is just any cake with candles slapped on.
3. If I got that tub of green processed goop on my birthday, I'll hang myself.

I never have, although I have seen people use taquitos or mini burritos instead of tortilla chips for a "lazy enchilada" recipe.

I would suggest to just skip making that mess and just go for a solid chilaquiles recipe instead.
I was talking about actually following the recipe and posting it here. It's a $20 waste of food though.
 
1. It doesn't resemble a cake
2. There is no such a thing as a "birthday cake", some like fruit cakes and some prefer chocolate mousse, etc. The entire idea is stupid. A "birthday" cake is just any cake with candles slapped on.
3. If I got that tub of green processed goop on my birthday, I'll hang myself.
"birthday cake flavor" is basically boring yellow cake and white frosting flavor, aka the basic ass birthday cake you pick up at the grocery store to slap some candles on, have a kid's name written on it(or an image printed on it these days) that isn't chocolate, and usually for birthday parties for little kids. This would be an example of an average birthday cake:
l-intro-1618428885.jpg
 
"birthday cake flavor" is basically boring yellow cake and white frosting flavor, aka the basic ass birthday cake you pick up at the grocery store to slap some candles on, have a kid's name written on it(or an image printed on it these days) that isn't chocolate, and usually for birthday parties for little kids. This would be an example of an average birthday cake:
View attachment 5316554
I've honestly never had one of these for my birthdays growing up.
I guess I was very lucky and had a decent childhood. That looks so sweet it's type 97375 diabetes.
 
I was talking about actually following the recipe and posting it here. It's a $20 waste of food though.
I would recommend against it, but I don't think it'd be too awful taste-wise (it's pretty difficult to make a recipe involving cheese, meat and tortilla chips taste bad, although if anyone could it's Jack). It's really just the texture of the soggy tortilla chips would be so offputting. The taste would probably be somewhat similar to a taco salad based on the ingredients, but soggy tortilla chips, especially crushed up, would ruin it.

If you do, though, please let us know how it is.
 
I've honestly never had one of these for my birthdays growing up.
I guess I was very lucky and had a decent childhood. That looks so sweet it's type 97375 diabetes.
Yeah that's basically what it is, giant pile of baked and vaguely flavored sugar. I want to say buttercream frosting? Also the one in the image I posted is actually a bit light on the frosting from what I remember. You can of course get them in chocolate, some fruit between layers, different colors, etc. but that's just the basic ass white birthday cake. Thing is it's not necessarily even about having a decent childhood or anything, a quarter or half sheet cake like that isn't exactly cheap. It's just the plain white one is the safest bet when you're putting together a birthday party for a 5 or 6 year old a couple dozen other kids to eat and you need 20-30 servings or whatever.
 
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